So Like Yes, I Know That Wrecker And Hunter Probably Would Have Teased Tech About Phee, But Like. You

I said this to a friend once about Mandalorian S3, because I saw/heard people shipping Din and Bo-Katan and like. Idk if I really get the romantic vibe from them but I do get the “married for no other reason than tax benefits and are completely fine with that” vibe. Din wants to go bathe in the water of their obliterated home planet for moral redemption? Bo-Katan is like “ugh fine but you have to let me navigate.” Bo-Katan wants to take back their obliterated home planet? Din is like “do it homie, I’ll bring my kid, it’ll be fun.” No romance. Just support and tax benefits. It’s lowkey such a vibe

Okay so between S1 when Echo snatched that trooper doll for Omega, and S3 when he brought her that crossbow, is it acceptable to assume that he would just like…bring her things? All the time?? Sometimes the batch isn’t 100% how he acquires some of the stuff he brings home, but Omega is always so excited when Echo has another gift, and sure it’s not usually something super grand, but it’s just his way of letting her know that she’s part of the squad and the family and maybe part of his way of making up for the fact that she doesn’t really get to be a kid all the time.

I just also think it’s funny how his gifts get progressively more dangerous…first it was like “here’s a doll for you to play with, kids need toys” and then it was like “here’s a lethal weapon, shoot straight”

I feel so bad for the guy that had to be Tech’s flight instructor on Kamino. Just like imagine feeling happy and secure in your job as a clone cadet flight instructor, and then this scrawny little clone who’s about five years younger than the others in your class with giant round goggles and his hair standing on end from shorting out Kamino’s entire electrical system on a dare marches up to the flight simulator, looks at you, and says, “Look, sir, let’s not kid ourselves here. There’s nothing about flying you can teach me that I don’t already know. I’ve read every flight manual ever written and can recite the specs of any standard ship in the galaxy. My enhanced mental abilities allow me to process information from multiple sources faster than you can even remember what you ate for breakfast. I’m already a better pilot than you will ever be, so just give me the score that we both need to be done with each other and let’s move on with our lives” and then slams on the gas

It really is so cute and sweet how the bad batch collectively works really hard to teach Omega everything they know, even though (they don’t seem to realize) their knowledge and skill set is literally so unhinged: how to disarm literally any bomb ever, how to hack into any computer, how to steal locate valuable data, breaking and entering, extensive knowledge of every weapon in existence, stealth and reconnaissance. These super soldier brothers suddenly find themselves in a position where they are raising a child, and they don’t know much about raising children, except you’re supposed to teach them right?? So teach her they do, but they go straight from “this is dirt” to “this is how to aim an energy bow, don’t worry about stun settings lol” but in the most heartfelt and genuine way possible because for them, that is the most important thing and that is how she will survive in the galaxy when they aren’t there to protect her anymore. Like Hunter, babe, most dads are out here teaching their daughters how to ride a bike, but sure, you teach Omega the fastest way to disembowel a droid with a vibroblade, that is valuable knowledge

Tech would have been so excited to take Phee’s last name

except the problem was, the rest of the Bad Batch took it, too.

It started with Omega. She was out shopping with Tech for one thing or other when he introduced himself as “Tech Genoa” and she just got so excited and bounced up and down and exclaimed, “And I’m Omega Genoa!” And it wasn’t really the time to correct her, except then Wrecker picked up on it and he got so excited because “that’s right, we get a last name now!!” And they just run around the house screaming “Omega Genoa” and “Wrecker Genoa” while a flabbergasted Tech tries to find a tactful way to explain that actually only he gets the last name.

Hunter and Echo of course know how the last name thing works, but they also thinks it’s hilarious, so they start using it, too. First just as a joke around the house, but then it just kinda starts to roll off the tongue, and admittedly, it’s kinda nice having two halves of a name instead of just one. Crosshair thinks the whole thing is absurd, until someone new in town asks him which family he belongs to and he just scoffs and says, “Genoa, obviously,” and he started using it after that.

And that is why Phee came home from an expedition two weeks later to see a hand carved sign on the front of the Batch’s door that reads “The Genoas” and an extremely exasperated but endeared Tech.

So... It's pretty much unspoken fact that Tech and Hunter came up with basically ALL the team plans, right?

Like, Tech came up with at least 70% of them, Hunter came up with 25%, Crosshair (and, to a lesser extent, Wrecker) had a few unique ideas but mostly provided input/suggestions to improve the others.

Wrecker gets full credit for the one plan that simply calls for "blow it all up." His brothers made it an official numbered plan just to appease him but actually did use that plan on 4 separate occasions.

Me when my entire life is on fire: what would the bad batch do (they probably started the fire tbh, but they would also find a way out of it)

honestly it’s just me and my clone obsession against the world

I love the implication in TCW S7 that the other clones have heard about CF99, but it’s all just rumors, random pieces of gossip and information. Because with an army of that size, information is bound to get distorted, especially when it comes to an elite force like The Bad Batch. An elite squad of clones that performs special and black ops missions with a 100% success rate?? Are you sure?? I heard that…

And even better, I bet the batch encourages all of the rumors and even spreads some themselves. Those droids that were ripped to pieces?? Yeah, Hunter did that with his teeth. Crosshair? One time he took out an entire legion of droids from twelve kliks away in the dark and the seppies didn’t even know until morning. Wrecker once rigged a chain reaction explosion so masterfully that it blew up an entire tectonic plate on the volcanic planet they were on. And the only reason Tech hasn’t hacked into every Separatist database on the galaxy and destroyed them on the inside from his datapad is because he’s too busy saving entire star systems with piloting skills that rival Anakin Skywalker’s.

The more that I think about the early episodes of TBB S3, the funnier they get to me. Like

First we have Crosshair, who is really getting to know Omega for the first time. His only real interactions with her in the past have involved his brothers being EXTRA protective of her, so in his head Omega is probably just this poor, scared, naive little kid. And then one day she just pulls up to his prison cell and is like “what’s up, loser, we’re getting out of here” and then proceeds to sneak him out of a high security government lab under the nose of the emperor himself (she knows our battle plans?? Of course she knows all of our battle plans, that’s a normal thing to teach a 12 year old…) Not to mention the fact that Omega gambled in a bar and won more credits than either of them had probably ever seen in their lives, so that they could bribe the space TSA into getting them off world (WHY does the kid know how to gamble). Not that Crosshair is in any position to judge someone’s parenting, but he has QUESTIONS.

Omega, meanwhile, is for the first time getting the full Crosshair Experience, complete with every bit of sarcasm, snark, and sass that the man has been bottling up on Tantiss, and she is not having it. No, Crosshair, I don’t really know how to fly this shuttle, why don’t you quit your backseat flying and get your butt up here and do this yourself? No, Crosshair, we cannot open fire on civilians in an airport, I thought that was just an inhibitor chip thing for you. No, Crosshair, we are NOT LEAVING OUR MAN-EATING HOUND ALONE AND UNSUPERVISED ON A RESIDENTIAL PLANET.

And then you have Hunter, who hasn’t been thinking clearly for five months and who probably is living off a diet of spiked lemonade and sour patch kids (to match the bitterness inside him), who went from thinking “oh yeah we’re gonna settle down on Space Greece” to “Wrecker, that one crime syndicate called us back, if we murder this one guy for them then they MIGHT give us some info on Omega, wheels up in 10”

And poor Wrecker finds himself as The Responsible Adult for the first time in his life, which is incredibly confusing and a little bit scary and Hunter, you are TOO CLOSE to the edge of that cliff!! He’s never really believed in vegetables before but Echo says they’re good for you so he spends every moment that he’s not trying to keep Hunter from starting a second interplanetary war over the disappearance of his kid attempting to convince Hunter to try an apple or something.

And then it all culminates in this very tense, dramatic moment where they’re all staring at each other and Omega is like “yay now we can all get therapy!” and Wrecker is like “Echo come back I can’t do this on my own anymore” and Hunter is like “you can’t commit fratricide in front of the kid, you can’t commit fratricide in front of the kid” and Crosshair is like “TAKE YOUR SCARY CHILD BACK” and if that’s not peak Bad Batch then I don’t know what is

I’ve seen different headcanons about why Crosshair has silver hair, and I think most of them involve something with his advanced aging gene. I feel like Crosshair would be super sensitive about it, like to him it’s a sign that even his defects are defective, and he’s constantly worried that the aging issue will affect the rest of him and not just his hair. And I feel like maybe the others are aware of this, so one day they sneak a bunch of posters of celebrities with silver hair who people still find incredibly cool and attractive into their room and start dropping hints like “man that guy looks cool, I wish my hair would do that” and “dang I’ll be lucky if I even HAVE hair when I age” and Crosshair will never admit it, but it makes him feel like, way cool. And a lot, lot better about his hair