As A Single Person Who Cares About Being Good In School: Fuck You /j

I may be a deity by textbook definition, but I still am striving to reach this level of power 😭

I had this idea about Phineas and Ferb:

Perry pays the bills and taxes, but one month he gets so caught up in work that he temporarily forgets.

The parents both thought that the other was paying all the bills, so then they’re like “wait…if IM not paying the bills, and YOURE not paying the bills…who is??”

And then the family finds Perry paying the bills and stuff, but he goes platypus mode and so he’s just like “krrrgrggg” and instead of going “WTF how is Perry paying the bills??” The family is just like

“awww! Thanks Perry, you’re such a good platypus!! Good boy, Perry!” 🥰🥰

So then if there’s a court case over the house and the judge is like “okay who pays the bills?” Both the parents sigh before going “bring him in, boys”

and Phineas & Ferb walk in holding Perry and the whole court’s like “what???”

And then they show a video of Perry paying the pills & Taxes and the courts like:

“YOU ARENT EVEN QUESTIONING WHY YOUR PET PLATYPUS IS PAYING THE BILLS??? WHERE DOES HE GET THE MONEY??” And the whole family just shrugs and is like “we were worried that if we questioned him he might think he’s not supposed to do that, so we just gave him some yummy treats and called him a good boy :]”

I meow very often, because when I’m at my dad’s: I have my cat, she basically screm when she meow, very loud.

When at mom’s: moms floofy cat, very cuddly quiet bby, her meows are also very baby mew

Also:

1: my cat; Lisa 2: moms cat; Gypsum

just a friendly reminder, have you meowed today? it's very important that you meow at least once a day so I wanted to check

Might I add:

-the “pretend you’re a sim without a choice” method

-the “get someone else with executive dysfunction and help each other do stuff” method

-the “pretend you’re piloting someone else to do their stuff” method

-the “Ask for someone to breathe down your neck” method

-the “pretend you’re a slave in medieval times” method

-the “make jokes out loud about absolutely everything as you do it” method (works best with sleep deprived delirium)

-the “sing a song about what you’re doing” method (especially if you sing it oompa loompa style)

-the “pretend you’re possessed by your comfort character bc they want you to actually care for yourself” method

-the “be loud and silly like ASDF while you do stuff” method (works best if you’re alone OR have other people being loud and silly with you)

I might reblog with more if I come up with other ideas

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

You ever look at your genetics and go “how the ever living FUCK did this happen” because I am directly descended from the strongest Old Ireland clan and the second strongest Scottish clan… ON OPPOSITE SIDES??? I’m double Celtic royalty-

I’m so stupidly tall, and then I’m also pretty sure I’m developing gigantism… I’m 5’11” STILL GROWING AND THEN THERES GIGANTISM?? I don’t wanna be like 8 feet tall bro- a normal house is already a lot and a custom built house would cost my kidney-

The only reason I look like I’m not starving is that extra mass isn’t body fat, no no no, that’s pure MUSCLE-

Ya know how most little kids are chihuahuas, because they don’t have strength for their rage? WELL I WAS A DAMNED TASMANIAN DEVIL BECAUSE I SOMEHOW KNEW A BUNCH OF WEAK POINTS AND FIGHTING TACTICS WITHOUT LEARNING???? Was I James Bond in a past life or some shit???

My molars are sharp…molars as in THE HERBIVORE TEETH. I’ve tried looking it up and didn’t get an answer, I EVEN ASKED MY DENTIST AND THEY COULDNT COME UP WITH A SURE FIRE ANSWER EITHER??

I have that weird mutation that makes it so I can consume other peoples blood without worry. How do I know this? One time my bestie scraped her elbow and when I was looking at it my autism brain made me automatically lick it- I was like “did- did I just eat your blood-??” And she was like “yeah- I think so-“ and we both proceeded to burst out laughing.

My favorite part of my fucked genetics: MY JOINTS! I simultaneously have joint pain and am hyper flexible- (my jaw can also unhinge without damage but ignoring that-) so sometimes I bend 2 degrees and my spine dissipates, other times I can CONTORT TO FIT INTO A FUCKING CLOTHING DRYER???? my bestie knows that and the fact that it’s my favorite hide and seek spot and we always cackle at people’s faces when they FINALLY find me- 😭

Just to have this on my blog so I can find it easily

the suffering never ends

Yeah, I talk to my cat a lot, but she’s always been very loud

but Gypsum (my mom’s cat) has been a bit lonely since my Mom got her dog and Atticus (a brown lab/pointer mix) doesn’t do well with cats-

So Gypsum’s been in the basement with me, but I still give her luv when I can :3

Some picks of the fluffy butt for your soul <3

My mom’s huge fluffy & Chonky cat:

-meows when hungry

-meows when wants attention

-meows when sad

My TINY ASS DWARF TUXEDO cat:

-meows when hungry

-meows when jumping

-meows when picked up

-meows when put down

-meows when angry

-meows when sad

-meows when happy

-meows when wanting attention

-meows while GETTING attention

-meows to say hi

-meows to say bye

-meows when sleepy

-LOUD AS FUCK WHEN EATING (she snurffles so loud while inhaling her food 💀)

-meows when zoomy

-meows at my leopard gecko (they somehow hate EVERY OTHER PET EXCEPT FOR EACHOTHER WHEN THEYRE THE ONES WHO SHOUKD HATE EACH ITHER THE MOST???)

Conclusion:

This tiny shit has a meow that sounds like she has smoker lung and she’s LOUD AS FUCK

I love her tho (๑╹ω╹๑ )

Nommmmm nommm nommm (*^◯^*)

WRITING PROMPTS - Assassin

An assassin decides to kill anyone that tries to make her kill a child.

"Aw, baby. You thought I came over because of your pretty face?"

An assassin and a detectibe fall in love.

"I'll hunt him down for you, unless he pays me more than you do."

Two assassins go after the same impossible target, and fall in love along the way.

"I aim well."

A pair of teenagers scam people by pretending to be assassins without killing even one person.

"I'm expensive, sweetheart, and it's not money that I take."

Cheers to hating that bitch 🙌

official elon musk hate post reblog to hate like to hate reply to hate

I wonder Which Spider-Man would be the best therapist-

Ok- I saw a tumblr post about how Tony stark needs his “weekly dose of Peter or he turns into a jerk” or what not and I imagined people being prescribed a hang out session with Peter Parker/Spider-man as a way to chill out-

Like- imagine if a bunch of the Spider people did a contract with an inter dimensional therapy thing, and they would help people with their problems by listening to them vent, Giving advice, or even using webs to help with physical therapy too-

I should make a fanfic about this-