Tim Stoker Is Not Only A Fire Sign, But A Big Giant Borderline. Here’s An Unnecessarily Thorough Analysis

Things I absolutely love about fainting whump:

Pre:

Holding onto a random surface to keep from swaying

Faltering steps (!!!)

Sweating

Ears ringing

Black spots in field of vision -> blinking rapidly to keep lucidity

Waves of nausea

Worried stares from their friends/caretaker/love interest

"I think I need to sit down" from Whumpee

"You should sit down" from Caretaker

"Are you okay? You look... pale"

"I... I don't feel so good"

During:

Slumping on someone/something

Knees buckling (!)

Eyes rolling back (!!!)

Hitting something on their way down

"Whumpee...? Are you- Whumpee!"

Post:

Caretaking!!!

Waking up in a different place, confused and aching

Taking care of whatever injury they got while falling

Lightheadedness

Headaches

Shaky hands

Waking up to Caretaker's hands stroking their hair

Whumpee trying (and failing) to stand up right away -> Caretaker forcing them back down

Caretaker checking for a fever or an hidden injury, knowing the whumpee would never ask for help until it's too late

"How long was I out?"

"Hey there... Took you long enough to wake up"

"shh, stop apologising. You just fainted, it's not your fault" (I swear I'm not obsessed with soft caretakers)

"When was the last time you ate a full meal?"

"Drink some water" "...I don't think I can hold the glass" "It's okay, I'll help you"

If you see any mistakes send me an ask so I can correct them. Thanks <3

happy lesbian visibility week 🫶🏻

The BOOpocalypse II is here 👻

The Magnus Archives Dashboard Simulator

🕷️ arachnophobia-incarnate Follow

Oh my god oomfies you’ll never believe what I just found

1,937,328 notes

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

HELP THERES A DOG ON MY DESK???

2 notes

🫖 poet-tea Follow

HELP I JUST LET MY DOG INTO MY BOSS’S OFFICE??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

LITERALLY WHO ARE YOU

🛶 timtimothy Follow

LMAOOOOO

176 notes

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

I think there’s a wasp’s nest in my attic. I’m gonna go check it out.

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

Do you hear that

🪱 residentwormgirl Follow

This is kind of a bop actually

☕️ ihavenohotcocoa Follow

op? op are you ok

2,332 notes

🎭 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

going on a date tomorrow! 😀

🛶 timtimothy Follow

haha what.

🛶 timtimothy Follow

can you repeat that op

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op?

🛶 timtimothy Follow

op can you repeat that

57 notes

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

I love my job. Everything just goes according to plan exactly how I want it to.

📖 bookluvr Follow

Hi

👁️ bouchard-elias Follow

hey sorry for this but you wouldn’t happen to have seen a lead pipe lying around would you?

80 notes

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

does anyone have any skin? For no reason whatsoever of course. Like if you just have it lying around. Out of use.

🌀 funhousemirrorman Follow

why do you need skin

🤡 notmyvoicebox Follow

wouldn’t you like to know, door boy

101 notes

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

is there wifi down here

⚰️ wakelyupwhenimdead Follow

no

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

HELLO?? HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME??

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

I CAN! I CAN HEAR YOU

🐺 detective-daisy Follow

Oh. You.

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

What. What does that mean

132 notes

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

I can sense a promotion coming soon I’m so excited !!!

👓 reliable-down-to-earth-nerd Follow

are you SERIOUS

🛶 timtimothy Follow

I’m going to kill that old man with my bare hands HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO YOU QUEEN

162 notes

👤 averagescarehater Follow

WHYYY IS THE SKY LOOKING AT MEEEE

📚 jonathan-sims Follow

my bad

200 notes

i forgot i had tumblr for a hot sec im so sorry😭😭😭🫠 heres some domestic middle aged ghoap for your troubles🤲

oh and a bonus too!!!!

(ill try to be more active here) ((key word: try😭))

Reasons why Jon Archivist is truly a character of all time:

Had the police called on him several times when he was a young child

Keeps his rib and the ashes of the season one antagonist next to his stationary drawer

Promised he wouldn’t get lost in tunnels and then immediately got lost in aforementioned tunnels

Has no clue what a joke is

Learned how remarkably easy it is to buy an ax in central London

Had to have two separate interventions

Told people his place of employment before traumatising them for life

The first character he ever said ‘I love you’ to is a cat

Allegedly participated in amdram

Watches documentaries and collects some kind of weird shit (my headcanon is Soviet Union postcards) when he’s not being a paranoid mess

Canonically looks like he hasn’t slept in weeks

Knows nothing about library science

Fell head over heels for a man that he hated until he learned he lied on his resumé

Has been referred to as Jesus or Jesus-adjacent at least twice

Asexual icon

Knows what a meme is and said “LOL” in the first episode

Rode on a merry-go-round sometime during his university days because he was in a weird place emotionally

Died for our Jonathan Sins

Is probably a computer now playing minesweeper with his boyfriend and evil 200+ year old boss

this one's been sitting in the drafts. i just love imagining them in their pottery class 😭

May I request more Roach and Gaz?

They are besties on Snapchat

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that he hurt you, I’m sorry that you’re still afraid to talk about it, and I’m sorry that you think I’ll never understand. I’m sorry that he tricked you into thinking you deserved it."