How Do You Fall Back In Love With Life?

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꒰ your egg just hatched, @heresan ! ꒱ — sukuna \ teachers \ blind date.

꒰ 18+ 𝐌𝐃𝐍𝐈 ! ꒱

sukuna may be the most hated teacher alive, but it doesn’t make him immune to a desire for love. or, two teachers walk into a poetry slam for a blind date.

⊹ f!reader ⊹ no curses, teacher au ⊹ fluff. tiny angst. humor.   kinda enemies to lovers ⊹ sukuna is a jerk as usual. everyone is a highschool teacher. yuuji x todo poetry bromance. satoru n sukuna are friends. i kinda just threw everyone in a role here, so i hope it fits ⊹ 4.3k lol ⊹ footnote. here it is, tina! thank you so much for attending my event! i wasn’t able to fit everything i wanted because the word count got brazy. i hope you enjoy!

ryomen sukuna may just be the most hated teacher on all of campus, absolutely loathed by students and teachers alike. in his mind, it matters not if others find him likeable or intolerable. the result of such a decision is personal; that’s not his concern nor is it his business. he’s intended to enrich the minds of his students, not become their friend. he’s supposed to prepare them for the mercilessness of reality, not coddle them.

sukuna is no gojo satoru; he has no desire to meet the youth where they stand in their childishness just to teach them. he doesn’t want to revel in all their senselessness with them. gojo satoru is the most liked, but he’s hardly the best teacher. sukuna is no nanami kento; he refuses to hold their hands and protect them from their mistakes. in his eyes, their stumbling is a means of development. it gives them individual depth; it helps them determine their own meaning and cultivate their own merit based on what values their subjective experience insists they prioritize. nanami kento is the most entrusted, but he’s still a step below the best teacher. and sukuna is no you, most certainly no you; he’d sooner perish than perform the sheer amount of mental gymnastics you do to ensure all your wording, teaching, and intent is coated in honey and well-received. you’re the most caring and the most cared for, but you don’t even begin to scratch the surface of being the best teacher. but sukuna, even for all his standoffish demeanor and strict boundaries, even for all his intolerance and impatience, even for all his frustration and his dismissal, he’s the best teacher here. you all know it; you all hate it. he knows it; he knew it before any of those standardized test results signaled it. his methods feel cruel and they aren’t ideal; no other teacher would dare implement his rigid grading system that leaves zero wiggle room for noncompliance but plenty for creativity ꒰ despite what you all think and say. ꒱

the results his students yield are an endless testament to sukuna’s success at equipping them with tools and allowing them to develop the skills to adequately use them. he’ll correct their inconsistencies, sure, but he’ll never lie to their faces about what he thinks of their capacity as it stands. he doesn’t care to have them daydreaming about where they could go. he wants them to acknowledge exactly where they’re at. his sole endeavor as a cultivator of minds is to instill the strength and willingness to critically observe literary material, which in turn gives them the capacity and ability to critically observe themselves and the way they’re present in every environment they encounter. contrary to popular belief, he wants his students to be better than him. and so, he can never go easy on them. he can only lead them to the cusps of their potential and shove them over with a borderline menacing smirk. and as he listens to the likes of itadori yuuji and aoi todo recite a joint poem for their reattempt at an assignment, he recalls exactly why he’ll never entertain their foolishness. “jennifer, o jennifer,” yuuji muses dramatically. “your eyes a dazzling reflection of my yearning…” todo’s eyes are squeezed shut as he recites, “jennifer, o jennifer! i see you parade around every corner of my daydreams.” “AND YET!” yuuji yells, slamming his fist onto the surface of the podium that stands at the head of the class. “YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE LOVE MY HEART CAN HOLD FOR YOU.” in shock, sukuna’s lips part as he stares ahead at the two troublesome boys while they startle the classroom with yet another dramatic recital of a poem that will most assuredly become inappropriate. “jesus christ,” he hears kugisaki grumble. “JENNIFERRRRRRRR,” todo yells, stretching out the end of the name with a passionate fist held high as his voice descends down to a whisper. “my jennifer.” “your chest, your voluptuous bosso—” sukuna holds up a flat palm. “enough,”

confusion befalls yuuji. his head tilts to the side. “why’d you stop us? we were getting to the best part!” “considering you’ve failed for the third time in a row at this assignment, i assure you that you were not.” “WE FAILED?!” the two boys shout in unison. “AGAIN?! HOW?” an exasperated sigh leaves his lips. “not only is this poem the end result of a dumpster fire and highly inappropriate yet again, but you once again did not follow a single instruction.” “untrue!” todo protests. “you said it needed to be a poem about our greatest desire!” a roll of the eyes. “i did not. i said to write a poem that embodies the concept of an emotion; for example, a great desire. not only that, but the poem was to be a quatrain. this is a couplet, at best.” “well how am i supposed to know the difference?” yuuji says, his voice in a light panic. “i worked so hard on this poem.” sukuna evaluates the copy of the poem he holds in his hand. inwardly, he admits that yuuji’s ability to weave imagery and eloquent speech is present, but he doesn’t take his assignments seriously enough. “you earned points for creativity but none for anything else. this was your last chance to correct this, if i recall.” yuuji’s eyes become wide and sad, lips forming into a pout as he stares at his teacher with a silent plea in his eyes, a plea that sukuna will gladly ignore. sukuna firmly believes if these simple-minded brats would follow the very simple directions he lays out, they wouldn’t be struggling to pass his class and devoting all their free time to meaningless busy work that he routinely reminds them they can avoid if they set aside their need for instant gratification and concentrated on their academic efforts instead. todo looks frustrated, angry eyes glued down at his feet as he suffers through his third humiliation. “b-but!” yuuji tries, only to be met with the shake of sukuna’s head. “please, mr. ryomen! if i fail this class, my mom will take away all my games and manga!” a soft snort. “i imagine your grades will improve drastically should that occur. take your seats.” “sir, please!” hard eyes glare into innocence. “do you think i’m running some kind of circus for you to entertain us all in? if so, i should fail you for boring me. i have one hour to teach you something and lately, i spend a quarter of my time bickering with the two of you about using very basic levels of comprehension to execute a simple task. sit. down.” and they do, with all their grief and disillusion in tow. 

when class ends, sukuna revels in the silence of his free period before his next group arrives. he sighs, reading over yuuji’s poem again. a problem child most certainly, but a creative one who excels in writing but fails to pay attention to what it is he’s intended to write. sukuna aims to help him understand the importance of discipline and execute it. sure, he’s disappointed now, but with this failure under his belt, sukuna believes his next assignment will be much closer to what he’s been asked to do. if he knows yuuji, and he does, the boy will still fail to follow a very specific direction, but he’ll get closer, and sukuna will acknowledge the improvement but yuuji won’t receive the reflection of his efforts in points. sukuna is adamant about the boundary of only distributing the points when he executes the task correctly, not for his efforts of doing such a thing. he doesn’t offer participation trophies. a gentle knock at his classroom door pulls him out of his thoughts. sukuna peers up from the top of his glasses noticing you standing in the doorway holding up a pink slip of paper that he’s quite familiar with.

so he’s requesting to be removed. insolent brat.

“and what do i owe the displeasure of seeing you?” he asks, looking back down at the papers he intends to grade. “can i help you?” with a sigh, you enter the room fully and pull up a chair to sit beside his desk. “my classroom is full and it’s breaking my heart to keep turning away all the students who don’t see a future while having you as their teacher.” this is precisely why sukuna can’t stand you. you’re hardly a rival, teaching in the only alternative class for first years to take english, but each time he has the misfortune of making conversation with you, you speak to him as if you are. “get stronger at rejecting them then.” he counters with ease. “it’s character building.” your voice gets quieter. “itadori yuuji came to me crying. your class is giving him a level of anxiety he’s quite literally unable to manage. he’s a child, sukuna.” “mr. ryomen is fine, thank you.” he grumbles. “yuuji’s inability to turn in his assignments on time and follow my very simple directions has little to do with me and everything to do with him. he’s not a child. he’s a teenage boy who we’re expected to prepare for the harsh realities of the real world. do you think his behavior will be accepted in any workplace? no, it won’t. he’ll be terminated. and do you think they’ll care if he comes into their office crying about the consequences of his own shortcomings? they won’t. an average employee is a dime a dozen. he’s not great enough to afford his slacking.” for a moment, you sit there in silence and despite not looking your way even once, not even sparing you a single glance, he can feel the disappointment rolling off of you in thick waves that crash into him. “his grandfather just died. it’s already hard enough for him to come to school, mister unreasonable.”

and my wife left me yet here i am each day, dragging my feet into this rundown building without making excuses for not meeting the mark.

sukuna doesn’t speak it aloud, of course. he has enough empathy to keep some of his hatefulness at bay. “and my condolences are with him and his family. i already suggested to his mother that she withdraw him for the time being but yuuji made the decision to return. if he can exercise the autonomy to choose to stay, then he can exercise the autonomy to do his work adequately. i will not hold him to separate expectations because of his circumstances. i would have to do it for all of my students, and where would that leave those who do not have a soul-crushing event that warrants them room to frolic?” “have you considered that, perhaps, all your students deserve a little room to make mistakes and correct them?” you inquire through gritted teeth. “i swear you have no heart.” he winces, the words slicing through him just as sharply as the memory of his ex-wife uttering identical words as she rallied her loved ones to assist her in leaving him behind with the future they were supposed to share in love. “if having a heart were enough to teach these students in a way that matters, i imagine your test scores would be higher. and yet, they’re one of the lowest. i appreciate your concern for my student, but he will simply have to make peace with his failures and let the shame he feels fuel him into accomplishment.” without another word, you slam the pink slip down onto his desk and huff harshly as you stomp out of the room. he doesn’t understand why you bother time and time again.

you hold their hands and soothe them when they cry. it’s no wonder they have poor self-regulation.

ryomen sukuna has one friend, and it’s the man that he has the least amount of tolerance for: gojo satoru. even after being told repeatedly that he’s disinterested in being friends, disinterested in having him involved in his personal affairs, disinterested in any level of personal connection outside of the work environment they both share, satoru insists. he insisted upon himself until the frightful day came that ryomen sukuna lost the only person he had ever brought himself to love, and in response called satoru to sit beside him at a bar in total silence while he drank. he didn’t need to do anything. sukuna just needed to convince himself that there was another being in this world ꒰ besides the one that walked out on him ꒱ who had a shred of care in their hearts for him. satoru came without question, came without speaking, came without apologizing for his loss when sukuna uttered the words ‘she left me’. satoru offered him a soft ‘oh shit’ and ordered another drink for him when his glass emptied out. since then, at the very least, they’re on a first-name basis but hardly a friendly one, despite what satoru continues to believe. “so guess what i got for my loving best friend who adores me so very much.” satoru sings as he enters the teacher’s lounge and throws an arm haphazardly over his shoulder. sukuna shakes his arm off of him and proceeds to sneer. “don’t touch me.” “well someone’s a grumpy cat today.” satoru mumbles. “so what’s got your panties in a wedgie?” a disgusted scoff and a demand that comes through gritted teeth. “don’t be lewd.” “but it’s part of my charm.” satoru says with an exaggerated pout. sukuna sighs. “what do you want, satoru?” “well,” he sings, sitting in a chair adjacent to where sukuna stands at the coffee machine, legs sprawled out wide. “you have a blind date tonight.” an immediate response. sukuna spins to face him, nostrils flaring. “no, i don’t.” “oh, come on!” satoru groans. “you can’t seriously spend the rest of your life hung up on your ex.” “i don’t plan to.” he seethes. “but i don’t plan to date, either.” satoru shrugs carelessly. “okay, so just show up and give her even a little charm so you can bust a nut before you bust a blood vessel.” “not only am i uninterested in dating, but i would never date anyone you suggested for me.” of course, the snow-haired man is offended, a palm flat against his chest. “excuse me, i have great taste in women. you’re just a prude.” “you don’t have taste in anything, especially women.” sukuna grumbles. satoru ignores him at first, instead redirecting his attention to his phone before mumbling, “i didn’t want to resort to this, but you leave me no choice.” after he speaks, he turns the screen of the phone in sukuna’s direction to which he’s met with a post on facebook of all places where the words ‘ryomen yuki is in a relationship with fushiguro toji’ are in bold letters across the screen with two identical photos side-by-side, both a sporting a matching picture of them together. for a moment, his mouth goes dry. the grip he has on his empty mug tightens until he hears and feels the ceramic starting to crack in his grasp.

she’s already moving on. she’s already found someone to replace me. her love was everything to me and mine was nothing to her, a gift that came with proof of purchase so she could return it at will.

unable to continue staring at his greatest loss to date, he turns his back to satoru, the mug slamming down into pieces on the counter.

so it’s really over then. six months of half-expecting you to return because you never bothered to change your name back. another thing you took from me and ran off with. shamelessly. with no remorse. another display of my fragility that you keep attached to you like a badge of honor. your trophy for murdering a deathless man.

“i’m sorry to spring this on you like this.” satoru says, the sadness evident in his voice. “but i think it’d do you some good to get back out there.” he’s been trying for months to get sukuna to test the waters with someone new, but he admittedly held out for his ex-wife. now, all the rumination and theorizing of returns seems pointless. silly. a wasted effort. his patience becomes another labor of love that she won’t reciprocate or return back to him, either. it’s at that moment that he decides enough is enough and he can’t leave his heart in layover, waiting to be carried to a destination he’ll never see again. with a heavy heart, sukuna mumbles, “fine, i’ll go.” “atta boy,” satoru says, pleased with his results as he stands and grips sukuna’s shoulders. “and i don’t mean this in a kind of way, but don’t scare the poor girl away, okay?” sukuna’s eyes narrow as he tilts his head to gaze at him. “and just what is that supposed to mean?” “it means…” his voice trails as he hums thoughtfully. “be anything but yourself.”

great, another woman to court with only the idea of me and the potential of the man i could become. not the man i already am.

“i can hear the emo engine revving.” satoru sings. “i don’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, but you’re harsh and you know it. actually attempt pleasantries. chivalry. niceties, you know? women like that. they don’t want an unreasonable brute.” a roll of his eyes. “whatever, where am i to meet her? what’s her name? what does she…like?” “i’m not telling you anything about her, but i did suggest a date at that bar you like that does poetry slams on fridays. so, at the very least, you both have that in common. you like to wallow over useless things.” sukuna hums, not entirely opposed to a poetry slam attendance as a first date, a blind meeting. as a man quite passionate about literature in general, this sounds like a safe option. he can speak less and listen intently. that should be enough to conceal what satoru won’t openly call his awful demanor.

sukuna will never trust satoru again, will never let him set a nosy foot into his life’s affairs. he never should have. he should have known he was toying with him, should have known that he wouldn’t set him up on a date without going so far out of his way to make a fool of him. he arrives at the bar with a single, long stem black rose in hand, a gentle symbol of the potential beginning he has to offer, dressed in his favorite deep olive sweater-vest, a white button-up underneath with an elegant black tie tucked into a deep v neckline, and casual but suitable black slacks. for the first time in a long time, he parts his hair and gels it specifically, nanami kento in mind as he does so, a testament to what he believes is the way a respectable man would present himself to a woman he may want to sincerely court, should things go well. he waits outside the establishment, unusually nervous but still simmering in a hushed excitement at the possibility of finally laying the death of his first love to rest. he’s grown sick of being a man made into a mausoleum. he stands right where he tells satoru he’ll be. it doesn’t take long to cling to the notion that all his diligence is a waste of time because now you stand before him staring at him in utter shock and it infuriates him. what’s even worse is how undoubtedly gorgeous you look in the sleeveless white dress clinging to the shape of your body, the semi-deep neckline showing off the prettiness of your smooth skin and highlighting your assets while not blatantly displaying them. it’s alluring modesty that colors him in the most vibrant shade of surprise. he’s never seen you outside of class, never seen you outside of oversized, fuzzy cardigans and dress pants. he’s never seen your ankles outside of black, cotton socks and penny loafers, but now he knows exactly what fiber looks like flowing around the shape of your thighs. if you were to inquire with him regarding the subject of you, he’s never spared you more than passing glances because he finds the weakness in your general demeanor and over-indulgence in decorum to be particularly disgusting. to him, critically evaluating your level of attractiveness would be a truly pointless endeavor, especially considering he only observes you in a work environment. naturally, he keeps all of his curiosities centered around responsibilities that just so happen to involve you both. but now, as you stand before him with widened eyes, shock gazing over shock, sukuna can’t help but memorize you from head to toe. it isn’t to say that you intrigue him; it is simply to consider why on earth satoru would organize a date with you or have the audacity to believe he would want this.

i should surely kill him for this.

“you’re my blind date?” you ask incredulously. sukuna sighs, frustration causing his head to lull back and briefly glance at the clarity of the evening sky. “it appears so.” “why the fuck would shoko think i want to go out with the likes of you?” you ask, an air of offense littering your tone. the expression contorting your features aimed at him causes a dull pang in his chest. not because he cares, but because even sukuna isn’t immune to the consequences of harsh rejection in the face of his own anticipation. the disgust for him is not only evident in the look on your face ꒰ brows raised, eyes full of disdain, nose scrunched, and your lips curved downward ꒱ but it’s indisputable in the tone of your voice. of course, he doesn’t care for you to find him attractive, but the blatant distaste aimed at him when he showed up all the same as you, expecting to engage with someone who could haply lessen the severity of his pain, if even only for a moment, is admittedly disappointing. “gee, thanks,” he grumbles. you whine, a groan ascending into a saddened pout as your foot stomps lightly against concrete. “i wore my best dress for you?” “are you a child?” sukuna snaps at you, taking in your actions with his own observable revulsion. “contain yourself. you act as if we aren’t in public.” your lips tighten into a straight line, eyes dying as you look at him. “don’t act like you’re not disappointed, too.” he snorts. “disappointed is an abysmal understatement. do you think i’m thrilled to see you? i came here under the impression i might end up liking the person i met.” your arms fold over your chest as you grumble, “i highly doubt they’d end up liking you.” “and i highly doubt they’d end up liking you.” he retorts with ease. “it appears this is a fruitless exertion of energy.” as if you don’t hear a single word he says, your eyes fixate on his hand which clutches the stem of a rose now fallen haphazardly at his side. “was that for me?” you ask softly, gesturing to it. a grunt as he realizes he still holds the physical marker of yet another romantic failure. “i guess. here.” he thrusts it towards you spitefully, sneering. he expects you to reject it, to which he plans to let it fall to the ground, abandoned as he makes his way back home to sip his weight in roscato, but you become a peculiar creature before him and reach to take it out of his hand, twirling the stem between your thumb and index finger as the softest smile takes your lips. you don’t look at him as you speak. “a black rose seems like an unorthodox flower to gift for a first date.” sighing, he parts his lips to speak, but he doesn’t get the chance, as you continue on. “but really, it symbolizes tragedy and rebirth.” surprisingly, you’re correct. his intensely irritated expression, unbeknownst to him, subdues and softens then. “yes,” he murmurs. “it was supposed to, at least.” you stay still for a moment, observing the rose carefully before you look up at him again. sukuna’s eyes subtly widen as he notices a tiny shimmer in yours, the littlest spark of curiosity twinkling as you gaze at him. “i spent a lot of time getting ready.” you state tenderly. “i’d…i’d rather not go home empty-handed, you know? and i admit, i was looking forward to this poetry slam.” for the first time in all of the time he’s known you, sukuna’s voice doesn’t carry an undertone of detest when he replies. “as was i. my favorite poet confirmed they’d be performing this evening.” “so is mine.” you admit sheepishly with a wispy sigh. “kenjaku, he’s one of the greatest poets of our time.” now, sukuna’s eyes enlarge with palpable shock. “kenjaku is also your favorite? i thought he was an undiscovered gem, but i wholeheartedly agree. truly one of the best poets of our time. he said he’d be revealing a new work on stage this evening.”

silence passes between the two of you, sukuna’s hands stuffing into the pockets of his slacks as he begins to rock on his heels. he would never admit it, but that shared preference is enough to cultivate his willingness to linger, enough to craft an ache to endure the evening despite his preconceived notions. you eye the entrance, peeking at him from your peripheral vision. “should we…just enjoy the evening? i mean, we’re already here. and there’s a bar, too.” “there is.” “which means i can drink away the extent of how insufferable you are.” a playful grin on your lips as you hold out your hand to him. “shall we?” he stares at your hand before scoffing and leaving it resting without being touched, moving towards the entrance to hold the door open for you as he avoids your gaze. “after you,”

© 2023 elusivemoon. all rights reserved.

"On some quiet comet or distant exoplanet will you find the cold and silence meant for you."

— Franz Kafka, Letters to Milena

“My problem is that I fall in love with words, rather than actions. I fall in love with ideas and thoughts, instead of reality. And it will be the death of me.”

— Unknown (via punksnouis)

❝ i can’t express how proud and reassured i feel to have 8 members who shared unforgettable memories. i wonder if you guys remember everything like i do. nowadays, i keep being reminded of old days when we (exo) were together wherever i went. the real happiness, i believe, is something that we can laugh and talk about even for a long time. let’s be the ones that can hug each other as always. minseok, suho, lay, baekhyun, jongdae, kyungsoo, jongin, sehun. love you guys a lot. ❞ ( insp )

to our happy virus that has given us countless reasons to smile for eight whole years already. just like you can’t forget the amazing things you’ve experienced, we neither will ever forget what you have done for us exo-ls. lifting us up, loving us and making us feel like a friend to you. let’s go on together for a really long time, okay? #8YEARSWITHCHANYEOL

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