𝔻𝔼𝔸ℝ    𝔼𝕃𝕃𝕀𝔼,                              (bakcr​)

𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙍 𝙒𝘼𝙍𝙍𝙀𝙉 𝙋𝙀𝘼𝘾𝙀                             ( roastyoualive​ )

whenever there's a moment to generate clear thoughts inside the falsely labyrinthian halls of hawkins high, chrissy has begun wondering if the pathways of her brain have been rewired in the exact same turns and corners. stupid, since almost four years have passed in this place and that seemed hardly enough time for her life entire to be remolded. but something as mundane as high school, evidently, did have that power. a sparse but reportedly all-powerful adult presence mixed with still developing young minds hungry for some kind of independence created a strange kind of panic room masquerading its every wall as windows. there was nowhere to go but in until you were cast out on your butt to be the mystical mature everyone said was required after twelfth grade. a place where all students were asked to be older but treated younger, at its most basic.

at the eventual end of her illustrious career as a hawkins high elite, chrissy was sure she'd be picking out splinters of the school's influence for years.

a new shard lodged itself in hidden places she'd doubtlessly discover later when a voice shattered the brief silence she'd wrapped herself in. it made its intrusion gently, but could not escape what it was. despite herself, chrissy jolted.

❝ huh?? ❞ immediately, too sharp. her grimace offered the first apology. ❝ i — sorry, i was — i mean i wasn't... sorry. i'm okay, yeah. just get lost in my own head sometimes, when stuff here get too loud. probably senioritis, you know? ❞

if whoever this polite guy might be wasn't convinced of her sanity, she'd hardly blame him. that had been one of her poorer saves to date. thankfully, the burst of adrenaline cleared her clouded thoughts enough to see his expression. he wasn't exactly in his comfort zone either. time to save what she could of the moment.

❝ thanks for checking. ❞ a swallow. ❝ i appreciate it. i hope your day hasn't been as weird as mine. ❞ finally she'd collected enough presence of mind for a real smile and a sentence that sounded spoken by an actual human being instead of a zombie. ❝ have i passed your table at lunch recently? they somehow change every year. was it the science club, maybe? ❞

LYRIC STARTER || @greenscrunchy

SONG: DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH - THE NEARLY DEADS

Warren knows he's not exactly social - he's never tried to be. Quite the opposite, in fact. He liked the isolation. It was relaxing. It was safe. (As safe as anything could be, but Hawkins had been pretty quiet, so far.) 

Social or not, he still knows who this is as soon as he turns the corner. Of course he does - it’s Chrissy Cunningham. Everyone knows who she is. Cheer captain, one of the popular kids. Most people said she was nice, but Warren had never spoken to her. Again, he liked quiet. Not social. All that. 

But when he sees the look on her face, he freezes. He almost turns on his heel. He definitely looks away. He feels like he shouldn’t be looking at her like this - like nobody should see her like this. She’s sad. Chrissy Cunningham is sad. Hypocritical as it is, that feels unnatural. He falters, glances around. 

“Uh-” Yup, they’re the only ones here. Nobody else to save either of them from the situation. “Are you… Okay?”

𝔻𝔼𝔸ℝ   𝔻𝔸𝔽𝔽𝕆𝔻𝕀𝕃   𝔽𝕆𝔾𝔼𝕃,                                 (fogels​)

*      𝘩𝑜𝑤  𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑒𝑛  𝑤𝑎𝑠  𝑚𝑦  𝑣𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑦    /        @greenscrunchy​​   ,                  —                     𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾   𝖺𝗋𝖾   𝗍𝗐𝗈   𝗌𝗂𝖽𝖾𝗌   𝗍𝗈   𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋𝗒   𝖿𝖺𝖼𝖾  .      

𝚂𝙷𝙴'𝚂  𝙳𝙾𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙱𝙴𝚂𝚃  𝚂𝙷𝙴  𝙲𝙰𝙽  𝚃𝙾  𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙴  𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙵𝙴𝙴𝙻  𝙻𝙴𝚂𝚂  𝙻𝙸𝙺𝙴  𝙱𝙰𝙱𝚈𝚂𝙸𝚃𝚃𝙸𝙽𝙶  .     shackled  to  a  stranger  with  a  walkman  threateningly  waved  in  your  face  should  you  blink  a  tad  too  long  .   daffodil  knows  she  wouldn’t  be  chrissy’s  first  choice to  spend  time  with  .

or  maybe  she  would  be  .   it  turns  out  the  little  high - flyer  has  a  precious smile  and  a  laugh  like  lemon  squares  :   good  .  

❝         𝑦𝑒𝑎𝘩  ,   𝑎𝑛𝑑  𝑏𝑜𝑡𝘩  𝑜𝑓  𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟𝑠  𝑎𝑟𝑒  𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦  ,         ❞        daffodil  smiles  at  her  ,   nodding  towards  the  strawberry  ice  cream  generously portioned  into  chrissy’s  bowl  .          ❝         ah  !   come  on  ,   that’s  part  of  the  healing  process ,  too  .         ❞

the uneasy twisting in chrissy’s stomach has made its way to her hands, where chipped varnish-laden nails dig into soft vinyl daisy print. a kind of tablecloth pattern ripped from a field swaying in the wind somewhere. so bright and cheerful to match the pink ice cream gradually beginning a melting slump front of her face. this doesn’t feel fair. (she’s thought that once or twice this week and wondered why every time. what did she do to deserve this? what didn’t she do?)

                                    ❝ you’re being very patient with me. you don’t have to be. ❞  it’s natural as anything to hedge. easy to distract from the swimming bowl of temptation, shiny spoon lure sticking out and chrissy is a little fish who’d like to know what’s truly good for her for once. daf is kind but not easily misled; there might not be any getting out of this one. best to dive in and think about consequences later. …..maybe she’ll think more sharply with a little sugar in her system. there’s dairy too – so, protein! yes, yes, if she thinks hard enough she can write off all the sweet danger the ice cream is masking under strawberry swirls. 

then again, hasn’t her entire rubric for danger been rewritten over the past several days? you know what? screw it. for now. what’s good for her might actually be to take the kindness daf is offering so freely, imposition or not. 

                                     ❝ i’d like if it was that way, though i’m not sure wanting to snap when i’m nervous is very pretty. ❞  speaking around a spoon is absolutely abhorrent manners, she knows, but talking helps distract from the guilt. one spoonful at a time.  ❝ you seem to be taking the whole….monster thing in stride. that’s amazing. ❞

other than max and lucas, the girl who died in ep 1 was my favorite this season. theres just something about really sweet, soft, and sad cheerleaders i guess, so i had to doodle doodle (also practicing diff brushwork)

also. ahem. hellcheer amirite

on lucky days, the most isolated and quiet location in hawkins high wasn’t actually in the school, but out. along the far wall of the library, past shamefully dusty card catalogues, lurked a fire exit door that existed as an open secret to smokers and escapists alike. once through the forbidden passageway, down the wrought iron steps to the ground below, the narrowest point between hawkins high and middle schools stretched like a long and lonely wind tunnel. ideal for ferrying worries or wisps of smoke far, far away if the need arose.

although, the “fire exit” status was rather a legal misnomer considering that the alarm was turned on once a year solely for when the fire department barreled through to inspect. once the inspectors left, the alarm was switched off and the smokers among the staff and students could puff in peace yet again. 

but unlike the rest of the usual suspects chrissy was no smoker. what she needed today was a little silence and air. across campus the sleepy post-lunch lull reigned supreme for a little while and she’d slumped on the bottom step of the fire escape, praying for just five minutes of solitude. ten if any higher power felt merciful, but five was enough. a couple minutes separated from the rare but explosive cheer squad drama. three hours on and chrissy’s ears still rang from the vitriolic fury slung like bombs ricocheting through the changing room, spraying shocked girls with more verbal shrapnel than shower water. 

cheating of some kind; that’s what all the shouting was about. at least, that was the general consensus disseminating throughout the student body by mid-morning. later, once the steam of anger and after-practice adrenaline had worn off, the story cleared up further: samantha rosen’s boyfriend coulter and abbie smitter had drunkely screwed after a seniors-only party last saturday night and managed to keep it to themselves......until coulter gleefully spilled his guts to the wrong person. all the cheer seniors were picking up battle stations, rapidly expecting the rest of the squad to match their energy and claim a side. 

barely half a day of it and chrissy was exhausted. staring down at her pale green manicure (she’d have to go in again on saturday for a touch up) and picking at her cuticles so as not to sully the polish further, chrissy couldn’t help but wonder the point. of all of it. why cheat? why gossip? what could it mean if samantha was one of the most gorgeous girls on the squad and she still had a wandering boyfriend? 

absolutely none of those were productive roads to go down, yet down chrissy went until the next period’s bell abruptly screamed behind her as if sensing the dangerous spiral. so the absent cheerleader obediently sighed herself to her feet. she’d lately been alternating use of her free period between laps around the exercise field and hiding between the library stacks. today’s circumstances presented the perfect excuse to burrow into her statistics homework, allowing what drama prowled the halls to pass her swiftly by.

god, that was all she wanted right now. for no one to ask anything of her except numbers that she could put in their correct places and problems she could make sense of. all she had to do was slip to her locker then slip back to the library unaccosted. easier said than done, but if she could just get through the stacks first, then maybe....

the imaginary mental map of hawkins high conjured in her head left enough vigilance to shut the fire escape door silently but not much more. with her gaze on her feet chrissy completely missed telltale shadows that looked nothing like bookshelves and managed to shoulder check an entire person. with interest. 

                   ❝ sorry, sorry, i totally wasn’t watching wh — ❞ 

her voice already softened in a whisper to suit the environment, it dropped out completely once the cheerleader looked up. really looked up. to a lot of denim, long curly hair, and a dangerous looking earring. a trademark to anyone who knew their wary way around the school. chill out, just apologize, it’ll be fine. no one’s looking.  ❝ — where i was going. hi, billy. ❞  she made a slow, telling glance toward the exit she’d just left behind.  ❝ are you on your way out? it’s nice out there right now. not too cold. ❞

                                    a note for @firelightfables​’ billy hargrove

❝ not to me. ❞ such a simplistic response couldn't be enough, however — what robin dug for lay deeper. their own town and school system would have them think otherwise in half a heartbeat, for no purpose but....tradition? normalcy? years of being "queen" under her belt and chrissy cunningham had only just begun to ask how much of social status was pure distraction from something far more important. like well-being for example. maybe that's what robin was getting at, too. ❝ people are definitely obsessed with who is worth their time and who isn't because of popularity or some....some crap, and i think that's stupid now. especially now. ❞ chrissy nodded sharply, half to herself, an urging to keep going. ❝ i care a lot less about how people are supposed to see me lately. so i'd rather be friends with good people than rich idiots. besides, i never really got to hang out with you before....everything. now i can. turns out you're pretty cool. ❞

                  “   Are   we   really   that   different—   tell   me   where   you   stand.   ” @greenscrunchy

you know what? eddie doesn’t get bitches. he gets queens. 

hours into the unclear future, chrissy might catch herself realizing that infinite reasons could exist for pink cheeks and dreamy silences in a packed kitchen hot from crowded bodies guzzling light beer and gossip like air, but in the moment she was only capable of joyously giggling,  ❝ steve, you’re so pink! ❞  a small poke to his cheek came after, followed in quick succession by an exultant gasp and a poke to a nearby eddie’s cheek.  ❝ you both are! ❞

such a sight was inexplicably tickling with a plastic cup of punch or two in her system (never more than that, however  —  playing it safe has become more comforting than boring) that lent a glowing edge to even the harshest of lighting and noises. like all of them were sucked into the kind of classic 80’s film chrissy used to romanticize within an inch of its life. with her shoulder sunk into eddie’s side and halfway beaming at steve, an argument could be made. brat pack, eat your heart out. they didn’t have safe places like she did, to be drawn back to every night like twin homing beacons. they weren’t laughing like she could these days. 

a slow, loose dawning still managed to roll over the former cheerleader, cooling a little of her own halfway inebriation.  ❝ it’s been a while, right? since we had fun like this? ‘cuz it feels good. ❞  

a freak, a jock, & an ex-jock walk into a party....     ///      @firelightfables​ + @starsinshadows​

There are shards of my childhood on the floor. I try to piece them together, but everywhere I step, I bleed.

rp sentence starters taken from  r.h. sin’s  work  ,  planting gardens in graves 

“ i find comfort beneath the stars ” “ i am free from you ” “ loneliness was the reason i held onto you ” “ you felt like home ” “ all you ever gave them was a town filled with misery ” “ my best relationship was with myself ” “ when people let me down all i had was me ” “ fall in love with my soul first ” “ they’ll always request your trust while betraying you ” “ you are not difficult to love ” “ what is there to love about a person who doesn’t love you ” “ losing you was not a loss ” “ i think i’m better now ” “ all the things that make you happy are either harmful or temporary ” “ they left you when you needed them the most ” “ fuck this idea that you need them ” “ you deserve so much more than what you’ve had ” “ i wear my sadness beneath my smile ” “ i’m not trying to pretend to be happy ” “ i’m just trying to remain strong ” “ all those second chances but everything remained the same ” “ you failed to walk away ” “ i’m way too observant to be fooled ” “ i notice and discover things yet i say nothing ” “ you were my favorite vice ” “ i had to bury you with the rest of my bad habits ” “ you were no longer deserving of my effort ” “ i don’t believe that and neither should you ” “ remember all the things you’ve survived ” “ find your peace and protect it ” “ sometimes you have to choose yourself ” “ people leave too soon ” “ i guess we should bury them deeper this time ” “ you’ve always had value ” “ i was always fighting but no one fought for me ” “ you’ve been searching for peace in chaotic souls ” “ at first the loneliness stings ” “ there’s no reward for coming in second ” “ i no longer desire to watch from the sidelines ” “ the fear of being abandoned keeps us unhappy and alone ” “ i thought i deserved to be unhappy ” “ the worst feeling is not knowing what you’re feeling ” “ i fell in love with your potential ” “ my tolerance for bullshit seems to diminish with age ” “ life appears differently the more you live it ” “ all i’ve ever known is hate ” “ i left myself behind to search for you ” “ my anger is a mask that hides my pain ” “ your lies were so loud ” “ beware of devils who tell lies in an honest tone ” “ my father didn’t raise me ” “ you are just like your mother ” “ your insecurities are not burdens ” “ lonely people do lonely things ” “ my father was the first person to break my heart ” “ you are no one’s instrument ” “ be careful who you make your memories with ” “ they’ll do anything to destroy your peace ” “ i found salvation last night ” “ the truth is i’m drowning in silence ” “ i remember falling ” “ someone taught you to associate anger with passion ” “ what leaves doesn’t deserve to be kept ”

(in tears) next year i will have so much fun!