Brain: Instead Of Going To Bed Now, Lets Stay Up Another 5 Hours Doing Nothing Productive.

dogs with jobs

So y'all remember that guy I was tellin you about? Well now he just won't fucking talk to me. At all. And I honestly have no idea WHY.

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Teacher: "I climb up the mountain. I climb down the mountain. How much work did I do?" Me: too much Teacher: "None! I ended up in the same place!" Me:

“WHO’S GOT A TAMPON? I JUST GOT MY PERIOD, I will announce loudly to nobody in particular in a women’s bathroom in a San Francisco restaurant, or to a co-ed dressing room of a music festival in Prague, or to the unsuspecting gatherers in a kitchen at a party in Sydney, Munich, or Cincinnati. Invariably, across the world, I have seen and heard the rustling of female hands through backpacks and purses, until the triumphant moment when a stranger fishes one out with a kind smile. No money is ever exchanged. The unspoken universal understanding is: Today, it is my turn to take the tampon. Tomorrow, it shall be yours. There is a constant, karmic tampon circle. It also exists, I’ve found, with Kleenex, cigarettes, and ballpoint pens.”

— Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help  (via thulelohe)

This is so beautifully written and it makes me nostalgic for my childhood and my golden best friend that crossed the rainbow bridge in 2018🥰😭🥰

Golden Retriever

Brown eyes, four paws, a wagging tail Wet nose right up my mug The properest sit I’ll ever see When you chance getting ice-cream from me

A gentle touch in the morning Asking for a belly rub, a cuddle, a paw massage Insisting we wake up and go out in the yard

Opening the door a golden smile greets me There you are! I missed you too Yes I’ll have that toy And I’ll play with you too

Eyes half shut Oh you’re sleepy? I’m sleepy too And then a noise interrupts You tell them off You keep me safe A peaceful sleep awaits

Fluffy ears, puppy licks, curled up tail Softest fur right up my side The sweetest dream every night Of you and me running side by side