Things Toddlers And I Have In Common

Actual footage of me when someone says they haven't seen Friends (or AHS, or HIMYM, or Psych, or.... you get the idea)

Me: *mentions favorite tv show*

Friend: “I’ve never seen that befo-“

Me: 

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

honestly tho that scene in the incredibles where mr. incredible sees the names of all the old super heroes that used to be his friends / that he knew from Back in the Day and how every one of them has been killed by syndrome is such a chilling scene for so many reasons 

like for one, everyone he knew is dead at this point and has been killed on the same island he’s at now and two, its heartbreaking bc that means that almost every hero wanted to try out being a hero again despite the laws against it and wanted to try and help someone out and relive their glory days, only to be straight up murdered like fuck that scene is just so fuckin intense

Not taking any chances

“WHO’S GOT A TAMPON? I JUST GOT MY PERIOD, I will announce loudly to nobody in particular in a women’s bathroom in a San Francisco restaurant, or to a co-ed dressing room of a music festival in Prague, or to the unsuspecting gatherers in a kitchen at a party in Sydney, Munich, or Cincinnati. Invariably, across the world, I have seen and heard the rustling of female hands through backpacks and purses, until the triumphant moment when a stranger fishes one out with a kind smile. No money is ever exchanged. The unspoken universal understanding is: Today, it is my turn to take the tampon. Tomorrow, it shall be yours. There is a constant, karmic tampon circle. It also exists, I’ve found, with Kleenex, cigarettes, and ballpoint pens.”

— Amanda Palmer, The Art of Asking; or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help  (via thulelohe)

You know when dogs sit outside with their face turned towards the sun and their eyes closed and they look so relaxed and when you pet them they’re warm that’s how I want to feel always

I CAN'T STOP FREAKING OUT BECAUSE HE FINALLY WON THE DAMN OSCAR like seriously his history of Oscar snubs is older than me and that is very sad to me

(x)

So i hear you like snakes. How do you feel about hognose snakes? Ever heard of them?

Yes, they are fun and adorable and silly

Low key would actually do this

Life Hack #3

Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze.