The Fuck Is The Heel Its A Goddamn Topper Like Its On The Top Of Both Sides Of The Rest Of The Bread,

exy twitter (neil josten: pr nightmare au)

anon just say you don't know how cults work, like it's not that hard to say just say you don't get how they work its quite simple, if you won't shot on any of the other ravens and only Thea than that's very strange going with she's the only canonical black character,

i wanna agree with you on thea and i understand she went through the raven's cult and i recognize that trauma/experience but she considered, Jean —who was underage when it started— being used sexually and I'm even willing to be she knew he didn't ask for it because she's not stupid and has been in the team long enough, "old tricks." to me that's shitty. And her overall attitude is much too dismissive/demanding for someone that didn't involve herself to help and just get answers to understand a situation she didn't even plan to BE involved with.

She's a fine character, well written for the little importance and screentime given, but she's detestable to me and I cannot respect her beyond "I see you're a survivor and a fine player, for that I respect you."

That and their relationship (hers and Kevins) is the most undeveloped/boring of them so I have a natural bias against them as a couple too but that's obvious now

alright people this is the last time we're doing this.

the nest is a cult. thea was in that cult for five years. thea did not get out earlier, like kevin did. thea was subject to brainwashing and abuse. thea was isolated from essentially anybody who wasn't a raven. thea was 18 when she got there. thea would have known nothing but the nest and become desensitized to the abuse that happened there. she would have looked past and ignored what the master told her to ignore because that is how cults work. that is how brainwashing works.

if you think her attitude is "too demanding" when she wants an explanation for kevin ignoring her for almost two years, read the book again. consider why the only canonical black character in it is "detestable" to you.

IVE FINSISHED THE KINGS MAN GIYS OMG THAT WAS SO FUCKING LONG BUT LIKE JESUS CHRIST I LOVE THIS SERIES SO MUCH I ALMOST FORGOT HOW MUCH, Jeremy there like 😊 when handing over the list of his teams players for the match like omg you go boy you radiating sunshine engery, rikos death the way ichiro cradles rikos cheek like the thoughts that would have been going through his head (he's a bad person don't get me wrong he's awful but like to only meet his brother when his brother wants to kill him is somthing)

'now he couldn't help but smile and pull andrew in, this was everything he wanted, everything he needed and Neil was never letting go.' LIKE OMG WAY TO FUCKING END THE BOOK, I'm never gonna shut up eved again I was like simmering in this series for years never again I'm gonna be so annoying that I will not apologise for it because woooo fun

alright guys I will try and get some more elio sketches/drawings out by like tomorrow/tonight maybe as I'm gonna be kinda busy but I can still take my ipad places with me, low-key wish I had an apple pen now but I don't I do have my trusty stilius stylus idk how it's spelt so yeah that's legit what I used to do elios character sheet the more you know

(ive also recently got into cotl so wooo yay that's fun)

I will try and post like a snippit/ just a text lire post of elio's reaction to andrew gutting neil with a exy racquet.

some more little info is that elio dislikes exy, he knows it's important to Neil and so he just bears it, he sits on the benches at practise but hardly pays attention to the game.

(this is like au talk rn I think so like seth lives aus talk) if seth had lived than elio would have been babysat by seth and Allison whenever the monsters went to edens if elio didn't wanna tag along (that's like nontfc talk so like probably roughly some where in trk)

onto how elio and seth found out that the kid is obsessed with mac and cheese is basically where neil went to night practise but left elio at the dorm so the boy could sleep. however obviously elio couldn't sleep and so seth had gestured for him to follow him to the kitchen and just grabbed some things from the cupboard such as {instant ramen, kraft mac and cheese(or whatever mac and cheese), cereal} elio hadn't ever had mac and cheese that wasn't from like a cheap dinnor [dinner,dinnar] so he poked at the box and seth cooked the full box {idk why} he put some in one of those plastic kid bowls {it had racoons on it} and elio tried it and got like a look of awe on his face and just started to scarf it down, seth had to like drag the bowl away so he wouldn't choke because of quickly he was eating, he then proceed to write a small note reading "your kid likes kraft mac and cheese nearly ate the whole thing, cooked full box so leftovers in the fridge" and he stuck it to the fridge with a magnet

so I finished chapter 2 liike a day ago havent started chapter 3 but i forgot the first book was 14 chapters like howd i forget that i dont know im trying to prep myself to read the third chapter at some point this week or next week im a slow reader i know it takes me days to finish a book but chapter 2 was great as well neil just figuring out the twins switch is just immaculate i activitly forgot that happens in the book but hey it was great.

both of theses fics made me wanna cry they are both so beautifully written.

@minyard-05 your telepathy au is making me wanna sob because now all I can think of is every damn moment in those books like the final game for example aaron just hearing Andrews thoughts while he's running to get to Neil

hey if you read & liked my fic Talk To Me, you HAVE to read this incredible addition by @sunriseabram it's amazing <33333

you know the thing where a character is so full of trauma that their personality and personhood is buried deep within and it takes time, space and healing to coax it back to the surface, little by little? very good trope. i think it most often manifests as a character finding that they're kind and gentle and lovable. which is great. love a healing narrative.

anyway the thing about neil josten is that once you manage to override his instincts to flee long enough, is that he turns out to be such a bitch (affectionate). he's spent so long avoiding notice and slipping through fingers like his life depended on it (because it did), but when he's forced into the spotlight he's going to make it everyone's problem. catharsis and schadenfreude two for one deal

"happy 19th birthday junior"

it's my birthday tada

that's so damn weird like are they on about the same andrew like the one who didn't trust neil at all and thought he was a fucking mole like that andrew

I've said it before and I'll say it again but Andrew going after Nicky for his rape jokes towards Neil was a response to his trauma not that he thought Neil was a babe

me with dias in we'll be fine eventually who is meant to be very smart but I'm not a smart person so