Concept: A Witch Cat That’s Too Fat To Fly

Marzipan Boy part 1

Tim shot a quick message to Tam, letting her know that he would be busy for a while, and then he shoved his headphones on and pushed the button to darken the windows of his office.

Tam thought he was taking a nap, and encouraged his daily hour of “dark time”.

Tim was NOT taking a nap, he was watching the love of his life play video games (sue him, he might doze off once or twice during the stream, but it wasn’t on purpose.)

“Good afternoon, gamers. It’s NightenGames here, and I have not had enough coffee.”

Chuckling at the semi-regular intro, Tim took a sip of his dark roast and settled back into his desk chair.

“Today we’re playing Elder Ring- My friend PharaohTuck finally finished setting up my mods.”

Tim wasn’t entirely sure what exactly the mods NightenGames used did, but apparently they were necessary for him to play. The Yeddit threads were full of speculation- from control mods meant for metahumans/aliens, to cheats to make the games easier.

Very few fans believed that one- Nighten died too many times to be cheating with his mods.

“Ooooh, what a fancy character creator! Alright, folks- who should we mock this time? I’m seeing a lot of votes for Lex Luthor in the chat, a few for Bruce Wayne- which, let me remind you, I’ve already done both Wayne and Luthor in the last month, so they’re out.”

This was why Tim had originally followed NightenGames- the streamer would pick a rich person and then pretend to be them for the entire stream, as if they were playing the game. Yeddit had checked- most of the quotes Nighten used were straight from public videos of the target.

“Tim Drake, huh? CEO of Wayne Industries? Isn’t he, like, the same age as me? I dunno, guys- like, nepo baby for suresies, but…”

Tim startled at the sound of his own name, and swooned a little at the way it rang out in Nighten’s rich baritone.

“You’re right, BarleyWater32, I have not picked on Tim Drake yet. In my defense… I have no defense. He’s hot and I’d smash. Don’t want to spoil my minuscule chances, right? Right. Anyways. Oh! Oliver Queen, I can do him. Well, not DO him, but- make me shut up.”

Blinking at his computer, Tim couldn’t help but flush at the knowledge that his internet crush thought he was “hot and would smash”.

Tim would smash too, honestly. He’d done his research. Daniel ‘Danny’ Nightengale was VERY attractive behind the virtual avatars he used.

“Let me pull up Ollie-boy’s avatar- ah ha! Can’t miss that mustache anywhere.”

The avatar finally popped up in the video- Nighten didn’t usually have one up until the chat had chosen a victim, even if he did have a standard avatar for after he was done gaming.

If he had to pick, Tim liked the avatar for Queen the best. He wore a silly pair of green sunglasses, and his matching green mustache twirled far beyond his face- the real Oliver would never, but the mockery was funny.

“Ahem. Yes. Hello. My name is Ollie Queen and I’m richer than anyone else in this city. Let’s get this bread!”

Elder Ring went well- through some chance Nighten picked an archery build for his run through, which Tim thought was quite ironic- and the stream went on for a whole hour before Nighten switched to his standard avatar.

“Okay, folks, I’m going to shut down now- and Tim Drake? If you’re watching? DM me.”

Nighten chuckled a little, like he’d made an impossible request, but Tim was vibrating in his seat, reaching for his phone to DM the streamer.

The video ended abruptly, and Tim’s autotimer on the darkened windows ran out.

Tam was standing expectantly outside of the door, smiling serenely in- but her arms were full of folders that she undoubtedly need signatures on.

With a sigh, Tim took off his headphones, dropped his cell on his desk, and waved her in. Work waited for no man.

~~~

“Danny, are you sure you don’t want me to make you an avatar for one Tim Drake?”

“Positive, Tuck.”

Tucker pouted and draped himself over the back of the couch, leaning his head into Danny’s space as he worked on his essay.

“It would give you an excuse to watch videos of your cruuuuush!”

Danny felt his face go hot, and he shoved Tucker’s face away from his ear.

“Get off, man. I have to finish this paper before midnight.”

His friend stood straight, presumably looking at the clock on the oven.

“Oof, bro.”

10:30PM wasn’t a great time to be writing an essay. Danny knew he should have done it earlier, but, well. He had to film and edit a video for his second channel. UTube wasn’t earning him money yet, but hopefully soon?

Who was he kidding? He would probably have to go back to Vlad for money soon, and he hated the thought of it.

It was hard enough to live in this ramshackle Gotham apartment with both Tucker and Sam, keep up with UTube and streaming, and get through school, without having to cater to Vlad’s whims on top of it.

Sam had only promised to help with his portion of rent for two years, and he was almost hitting that deadline. He hated taking advantage of her guilt for getting him killed in the first place, but she had insisted, even if she couldn’t sustain it for their whole college career.

Danny groaned and turned his attention back to his paper.

11:15 rolled around, and Danny finished checking his paper for mistakes before sending it in. He shut his laptop, planning to brush his teeth before crashing out on the couch.

Tucker had already gone to bed, and Sam was out on an internship trip for the week, so he didn’t have to worry too much about being disturbed after he fell asleep.

His phone chimed with a donation notification and he lazily opened the message.

Tucker came running out of his and Sam’s bedroom, wrapped in a bathrobe and wielding a Creep Stick at Danny’s resulting screech.

“TEN THOUSAND DOLLARS? FROM TIMOTHY DRAKE-WAYNE?”

I want my husband to have this accent

Say Their Names

Day 1 of Tumblr’s #ActsOfPride campaign:

These are the black trans lives we have lost due to violence in the United States since 2009. Sadly, this is most likely not a complete list as many of the souls we have lost go unreported or were misgendered. They will not be forgotten.

Caprice Curry, 31 - Killed January 17, 2009 Jimmy McCollough, 34 - Killed April 14, 2009 Foxy Ivy, mid 30s - May 23, 2009 Christopher Jermaine Scott, 36 - Killed July 1, 2009 Beyonce (Eric) Lee, 21 - Killed July 26, 2009 Tyli’a Mack, 21 - Killed August 26, 2009 Dee Green, 25 - Killed October 26, 2009 Toni Alston, 44 - Killed April 3, 2010 Chanel (Dana A. Larkin), 26 - Killed May 7, 2010 Sandy Woulard, 28 - Killed June 21, 2010 Victoria Carmen White, 28 - Killed September 8, 2010 Stacey Lee aka Stacey Blahnik, 31 - Killed October 11, 2010 Tyra Trent, 25 - Killed February 19, 2011 Marcal Camero Tye, 25 - Killed March 8, 2011 Miss Nate Nate, 44 - Killed June 13, 2011 Lashai Mclean, 23 - Killed July 20, 2011 Shelley Hilliard, 19 - Killed October 23, 2011 Chassity Nathan Vickers, 32 - Killed November 17, 2011 Githe Goines, 23 - Killed December 29, 2011 Crain Conaway, 47 - Killed January 17, 2012 Deoni Jones, 23 - Killed February 2, 2012 Coko Williams, 35 - Killed April 4, 2012 Tyrell Jackson, 23 - Killed April 4, 2012 Paige Clay, 23 - Killed April 16, 2012 Brandy Martell, 37 - Killed April 29, 2012 Tracey Johnson, 40 - Killed July 5, 2012 Tiffany Gooden, 19 - Killed August 14, 2012 Dewayne “Deja” Jones, 33 - Killed August 26, 2012 Kendall Hampton, 26 - Killed August 29, 2012 Evon Young, 22 - Killed January 1, 2013 Cemia “CeCe” Dove, 23 - Killed March 27, 2013 Kelly Young, 29 - Killed April 3, 2013 Ashley Sinclair, 30 - Killed April 11, 2013 Fatima Woods, 53 - Killed May 30, 2013 Jock Maurice McKinney, 50 - Killed 12 July, 2013 Diamond Williams, 31 - Killed July 14, 2013 Domonique Newburn, 31 - Killed August 20, 2013 Islan Nettles, 21 - Killed August 20, 2013 Artegus Konyale Madden, 37 - Killed September 1, 2013 Terry Golston, 44 - Killed September 6, 2013 Eyricka Morgan, 26 - Killed September 24, 2013 Brittany Stergis, 22 - Killed December 5, 2013 Kandy Hall, 40 - Killed June 3, 2014 Yaz'min Shancez, 31 - Killed June 19, 2014 Tiffany Edwards, 28 - Killed June 26, 2014 Mia Henderson, 26 - Killed July 16, 2014 Aniya Parker, 47 - Killed October 3, 2014 Ashley Sherman, 25 - Killed October 27, 2014 Gizzy Fowler, 24 - Killed November 12, 2014 Lamar Edwards, 20  - Killed January 9, 2015 Lamia Beard, 30 - Killed January 17, 2015 Ty Underwood, 24  - Killed January 26, 2015 Yazmin Vash Payne, 33 - Killed January 31, 2015 Taja Gabrielle DeJesus, 36 - Killed February 1, 2015 Penny Proud, 21 - Killed February 10, 2015 Keyshia Blige, 33 - Killed March 7, 2015 London Chanel, 21 - Killed May 18, 2015 Ashton O’Hara, 25 - Killed July 14, 2015 India Clarke, 25 - Killed July 2, 2015 Shade Schuler, 22 - Killed July 29, 2015 Amber Monroe, 20 - Killed August 8, 2015 Kandis Capri, 35 - Killed August 11, 2015 Elisha Walker, 20 - Killed August 13, 2015 Kiesha Jenkins, 22 - Killed October 6, 2015 Zella Ziona, 21 - Killed October 15, 2015 Veronica Banks Cano, mid 30s - Killed February 19, 2016 Maya Young, 25 - Killed February 21, 2016 Demarkis Stansberry, 30 - Killed February 27, 2016 Kedarie Johnson, 16 - Killed March 2, 2016 Shante Isaac, 34 - Killed April 10, 2016 Keyonna Blakeney, 22 - Killed April 16, 2016 Tyreece Walker, 32 - Killed May 1, 2016 Mercedes Successful, 32 - Killed May 15, 2016 Goddess Diamond, 20 - Killed June 5, 2016 Deeniquia Dodds, 22 - Killed July 13, 2016 Dee Whigam, 25 - Killed July 23, 2016 Skye Mockabee, 26 - Killed July 30, 2016 Rae'Lynn Thomas, 28 - Killed August 10, 2016 T.T. Saffore, mid-20s, Killed September 11, 2016 Crystal Edmonds, 22 - Killed September 16, 2016 Jazz Alford, 30 - Killed September 23, 2016 Brandi Bledsoe, 32 - Killed October 12, 2016 Noony Norwood, 30 - Killed November 5, 2016 India Monroe, 29 - Killed December 21, 2016 Mesha Caldwell, 41 - Killed January 4, 2017 JoJo Striker, 23 - Killed February 8, 2017 Jaquarrius Holland, 18, - Killed February 19, 2017 Keke Collier, 24 - Killed February 21, 2017 Chyna Gibson, 31 - Killed February 25, 2017 Ciara McElveen, 21 - Killed February 27, 2017 Alphonza Watson, 38 -Killed March 22, 2017 Kenne McFadden, 27 - Killed April 9, 2017 Chay Reed, 28 - Killed April 21, 2017 Brenda Bostick, 59 - Killed April 25, 2017 Sherrell Faulkner, 46, Died May 16, 2017 Ava Le'Ray Barrin, 17 - Killed June 25, 2017 Ebony Morgan, 28 - Killed July 2, 2017 TeeTee Dangerfield, 32 - Killed July 31, 2017 Jaylow McGlory, 29 - Killed August 4, 2017 Kiwi Herring, 30 -Killed August 22, 2017 Kashmire Redd, 28 - Killed September 4, 2017 Derricka Banner, 26 - Killed September 12, 2017 Candace Towns, 30 - Killed October 31, 2017 Brooklyn BreYanna Stevenson, 31 - Killed November 27 2017 Brandi Seals, 26 - Killed December 13, 2017 Celine Walker, 36 - Killed February 4, 2018 Tonya Harvey, 35 - Killed February 6, 2018 Phylicia Mitchell, 46 - Killed February 23, 2018 Amia Tyrae, 28 - Killed March 28, 2018 Sasha Wall, 29 - Killed April 1, 2018 Nino Fortson, 36 - Killed May 13, 2018 Gigi Pierce, 28 - Killed May 21, 2018 Antash’a Devine Sherrington English, 38 - Killed June, 2018 Diamond Stephens, 39 - Killed June 18, 2018 Cathalina Christina James, 24 - Killed June 24, 2018 Keisha Wells, 50s - Killed June 24, 2018 Sasha Garden, 27 - Kille July 19, 2018 Vontashia Bell, 18 - Killed August 30, 2018 Dejanay Stanton, 24 - Killed August 30, 2018 Shantee Tucker, 30 - Killed September 5, 2018 Londonn Moore, 20 - Killed September 8, 2018 Ciara Minaj Carter, 31 - Killed October 3, 2018 Regina Denise Brown, 53 - Killed October 10, 2018 Tydi Dansbury, 37, Killed November 26, 2018 Keanna Mattel, 35 - Killed December 7, 2018 Dana Martin, 31 - Killed January 6, 2019 Jazzaline Ware, 34 - Killed March 25, 2019 Ashanti Carmon, 27, Killed March 30, 2019 Claire Legato, 21 - Killed April 15, 2019 Muhlaysia Booker, 23 - Killed May 18, 2019 Michelle “Tamika” Washington, 40 - Killed May 19, 2019 Paris Cameron, 20 - Killed May 25, 2019 Chynal Lindsey, 26 - Killed June 1, 2019 Chanel Scurlock, 23 - Killed June 5, 2019 Layleen Polanco, 27 - Killed June 7, 2019 Zoe Spears, 23 - Killed June 13, 2019 Brooklyn Lindsey, 32 - Killed June 25, 2019 Denali Berries Stuckey, 29 - Killed July 20, 2019 Kiki Fantroy, 21 - Killed July 31, 2019 Pebbles La Dime Doe, 24 - Killed August 4, 2019 Bubba Walker, 55 - Killed July 2019 Tracy Single, 22 - Killed July 30, 2019 Bee Love Slater, 23 - Killed September 1, 2019 Bailey Reeves, 17 - Killed September 2, 2019 Ja’Leyah-Jamar, 30 - Killed September 13, 2019 Itali Marlowe, 29 - Killed September 20, 2019 Brianna “BB” Hill, 30, Killed October 13, 2019 Yahira Nesby, 33 - Killed December 19, 2019 Monika Diamond, 34 - Killed March 18, 2020 Nina Pop, 28 - Killed May 3, 2020 Tony McDade, 38 - Killed May 27, 2020

All of them should still be here with us today.

Say their names.

okay pLEASE tell me you’ve seen the avatar recreations by anthpo on youtube they are HILARIOUS

IM SCREAMING AT THE SUKI AND YUE CAMEOS (link)

I came across the original video of the seagull meme! What a glorious day! I never realized it was a video, let alone a full throat and hearty evil villain laugh!

This video pisses me off because everything about it is perfect. It’s extremely well shot and composed. Every decision that went into it from the choreographed sunglasses throw to the bass boosted Nickelback seems deliberate and incapable of improvement. 

Nothing I ever make will be better than 12 second long shitpost.

I thought it couldn’t be that funny, but man was I wrong

Beach Boys - Wouldn’t It Be Nice From Another Room

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[AVENGERS SPOILER WARNING] If I Was Scarlet Witch… Just Gonna Mask My Emotions with Jokes 💥 (FX: Caleb Natale)