As My Grandmother Used To Say: "Profanity Is A Crutch, Used By Inarticulate Motherfuckers."

https://youtu.be/6sM8pDH-HMc

there are actual people out there who want to genetically modify carnivores so they no longer eat other animals

im going to fly away from this planet goodbye

But... not a cube.

you never know!

I've been a teacher for over 30 years. One of my greatest points of pride is the fact that one of my former students is now an engineer for JPL. She helped design and build parts of the Curiosity rover, and was management on Perseverance. Every time I hear about Mars rovers, I kvell just a bit.

if you read in a frog paper “specimen was released in the field immediately after capture” chances are very good that what it actually means is

“i dropped the damn frog and despite the fact that we fell all over each other no one could recapture it”

As someone who teaches human reproduction every year, I can't imagine teaching this shit instead. Abstinence-based sex ed is not sex ed. It is exactly the opposite.

I'm forecasting a bumper baby crop in FL

I've been a teacher for 32 years, and I still have school dreams. Not about teaching, but attending.

School being so traumatic people have anxiety dreams about it for life sure doesn't seem uh. Normal

Sheer brilliance.

when I become an eccentric billionaire I'm going to buy every house in 10 square blocks of unremarkable suburb. I will have them all furnished and decorated except for (and this is key) one house in the dead center. this house I will put up for sale at a ridiculously reasonable price for the area. once it sells, and the new owner/couple/family moves in, the plan will spring into action.

every single house besides the one in the center within my 10 square blocks will remain uninhabited. I will put all the lights inside on timers so that it appears that people are living in there, I will have lawns mowed when I'm sure everyone in my victim house is at work/school, I will have decorations put up during the holidays and cars moved there and parked in driveways when I'm sure that the owner/couple/family in the house at the center is not there to witness it happening. I will produce all the superficial trappings of life without a single person actually being there.

who knows how long it'll take them to realize that something is wrong? when their kids are playing in the yard, and they notice they've never seen another child around here even once, despite the four-bedroom family homes all down the street? after a few weeks, when they realize the lights in the house across the way click off at exactly 9:45, on the second, every single night? when they've been living there for a month and a half and they realize they've never seen a single car park in front of another house? when they want to greet their neighbors and not a single house in the whole neighborhood opens its door?

when they do realize that they're completely alone here, what would they do with that fact? what would you do if all at once, as you stood in a crowd, you realized that every single person around you was a mannequin? it's unnerving, sure, but enough to warrant a move? how long will they live in this idyllic ghost town before it gets to them? can a person survive in a dollhouse? Thank you. *I wave to the crowd as I walk offstage at my ted talk. one person gives a halfhearted round of applause from the back. a talk about sustainable ecosystem management was scheduled for right now and no one knows how I got up here.*

#"Alakazam The Great" and "Speed Racer"

disclaimer: these are results from google. there were loads so i just picked at random from "most watched anime" lists

please reblog and put your answers in the tags <3

In public education, student "Permanent Records" are referred to as "Cumulative Files", or cum files for short (pronounced 'kyoom').

I-

thank you twitter, this is the only recommended topic post I’ll accept

This is astonishing work, and the fact that it's freehand is astonishinger.