Brian May (ft. Roger Taylor) Participating In Appreciating John Deacon Hours™ During The Queen Rock

Levi's regrets in manga 136 - LeviHan's IF

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This is a manga analysis. Levi and Hange's dynamics in the animation and the manga differ drastically.  

If you believe there is more to their story as well as their individual character development than meet the eye, I highly advise you to ditch the animation for the manga. With all due respect to Mappa, but the final season erases almost every romantic hint between Levi and Hange, along with the twists in their story arcs.

Please brace for a ride. LeviHan in the manga is as complex as it is captivating. The complexity is further muddled with sloppy translations. I will provide the original Japanese versions of key lines where necessary.

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Previously, before the forest scene, Levi was bent on killing Zeke to avenge his fallen comrades, fulfilling his oath to Erwin.

The first time Zeke escaped, Levi reaffirmed his oath to Erwin on the rooftop, and laid Erwin to rest.

The second time Zeke escaped, Levi was severely injured, and Hange came to his rescue.

Hange held Levi to her chest, jumped into the river and fled to a forest.

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Let's begin with the forest scene in chapter 126. It is a turning point in Levi's oath arc.

Levi was already awake when Hange attended to his injury. In an intimate moment, he cracked open his good eye to look at her when she wasn't aware.

He was quietly listening to Hange, as he always did.

Hange speculated that Zeke planned to use Eren's Titan power to inflict catastrophe. Later, on the aircraft, Levi told Pieck that killing Zeke might end the Rumbling. The Rumbling did cease briefly after he chopped off Zeke's head.

Hange was also concerned about their fate as the last two veterans of Survey Corps. The only option for survival seemed to be running away and abandoning their duties.

Lastly, and most importantly, unaware that he was listening to her the whole time, she murmured:

"Why not we live here together, Levi?"

In Japanese culture, living together usually suggests romance or a relationship.

Note the white bar right under this panel.

It's a timer bar, indicating the passage of an uncertain, usually long, amount of time.  Given that Hange had rebuilt the broken cart by the time Levi sat up, I'd estimate at least an hour had passed.

The fact that Levi cracked open his good eye and clearly heard Hange's soliloquy — from her speculation about Zeke to her unintended confession — proves that he had been wide awake.

It makes me wonder what Levi was thinking while pretending to be asleep.

One could only speculate.

I believe Levi was most likely imaging — as anyone would after hearing a shocking suggestion — the scenario of abandoning their duties to live together, only to then remember his oath to Erwin.

This internal conflict explains why he remained motionless.

It was the sudden Rumbling sound and Hange's scream that stopped Levi's from continuing to feign sleep.  When their eyes met, he averted his gaze and asked about Zeke's whereabouts.

See how Levi tried to sound angry and eager to kill Zeke as a way to strengthen his determination, only after lying quietly there and allowing himself to be torn about this for such a long time?

Hange uncharacteristically blushed upon realizing that Levi heard her suggestion, which is another clue that "living together" goes beyond friendship.

Levi cheered Hange up, but didn't address her slip of heart. Then, Levi and Hange left the forest, seemingly determined to leave their ambivalent thoughts in the forest.

Killing Zeke, the right choice from the perspective of honor and duty, won this round.

Yet Hange's slip of heart clearly lingered in the back of Levi's mind.

When Levi overheard Hange and Pieck's conversation, which didn't involve him at all, he felt the need to comment on this.

This is extremely unusual and interesting.

When has Levi ever commented on others' love lives in the manga? The only time Levi remotely did so was years ago when Mikasa constantly prioritized Eren over their squad missions. As the squad leader, Levi said something along the line of, "I don't understand your obsession with him, but don't mess up this time."  

(We all know how that obsession began. On hindsight, Levi's confusion foreshadowed his own future romance. Hange took care of Levi the way Eren took care of Mikasa, sparkling Ackerman' romantic attachment of a lifetime. )

Back to Levi's unusual, unnecessary, unsolicited comment.

Note he waited a bit for Pieck to leave to make sure it was a private conversation between him and Hange.

Levi said:

相変わらず巨人とは片想いのままだなクソメガネ

It roughtly translates as:

Your love has been unrequitted only with Titans, four eyes.

There is a Youtube video explaining the Japanese grammar of Levi's line, its hidden romantic connotation, as well as his bold choice of word for "love". The English translation loses all the nuance.  

Besides, Hange's response isn't "I will charm her", but rather "We will become good friends". There is no romantic suggestion in her line regarding Pieck.

Simply put, Levi took the opportunity to express his feelings in an awkward and clumsy way. Unfortunately, Hange failed to pick up on that. I honestly think the look on Levi's face would have helped him be understood. But they stood with their backs to each other.

Fast forward to Levi and Hange's farewell.  

The Survey Corps slogan is 心臓を捧げよ, aka Devote the Heart, without specifying whose heart it is.

It is supposed to mean devoting one's heart — represented by one's fist — to humanity.   

（The gesture is based on human heart's anatomical structure: an individual's heart and fist are of similar size and shape.）

Levi's fist is Levi's heart.

In this iconic scene, Levi altered the Survey Corps' solute gesture to devote his heart to Hange, hence her shocked expression.

Hange, despite on the verge of tears, brushed it off with a laugh, pretending she doesn't understand the gesture. She left him to fulfill her duty as the Commander.

When meeting her fallend comrades in the Path, she heard Erwin say:

"Hange, you've fulfilled your duty."   

(duty , or 役目 in the original Japanese manga. Remember this word)

As for Levi, he had to stay strong as the last veteran to lead the squad.

But you can see cracks through his tough facade. Like, he couldn't bring himself to look at what happened to Hange outside the window. Pieck, arguably one of the most perceptive characters, noticed this.

Or, when he directed kids' attention away, buying himself a moment to let agony take over.

Levi was clearly in the depths of pain and loss, triggered by Hange's death.

He was thinking. At this point we are just not sure what exactly went through his mind.

Levi's thoughts were revealed three chapters later, in chapter 136, in the form of a monologue.

His thoughts, under an intimidating image of Erwin in his mind, revolve around duty (役目).

Yep, the exact same word used in Hange's after-death scene with Erwin in chapter 132. I circled out the word 役目.

Hange and Levi didn't dare to abandon their duties in the forest to live together; Hange eventually died for hers.

Erwin's intimidating face in Levi's mind was a reminder that he needed to fulfill his duty — to kill Zeke. By far Levi appeared compliant, which makes his inner thoughts even more shocking.

Let's examine his first monologue line：

俺達の役目は  あそこで終わりだったのかもしれない

It roughly translates as:

"Our duty .... may have ended there."

There: the moment he swore his oath to Erwin four years ago.

He wanted to dump his oath from the beginning !!!

Because it was this very oath that pushed him and Hange out of the forest, hence the grievance — or even resentment, I would say — towards the oath.

But abandoning the oath is not enough to prevent her death. In Hange's after-death scene, she complained to Erwin that being Commander was too tough.

Levi's next monologue line:

ガキ共をとど/海に届ける そこまでの役目だったとしたら

It roughtly translates as:

"We got those brats to the sea, if that's where our duty ended..."

Why end their duties at the sea？

Because after they reached the sea, Hange's burden as Commander grew increasingly heavy, eventually leading to her death.

Between Hange assuming the position of Commander and the expedition to the sea, things went quite smoothly. It only took a sour turn afterward.

In other words, Levi regretted not ending their duties four or three years earlier. He wanted to keep Hange alive and happy.

He wanted to live an alternative life with her.

Levi's next monologue questioned the inhumane side of Survey Corps' "devote the heart" indoctrination — the very tenet that drove Hange to go on the suicidal mission.

It was also the biggest reason Levi didn't dare to stop her: their fallen comrades were watching.

Remember her last words to Levi?

"You understand, Levi. I have a feeling.... It's my turn."

I will leave the detailed analysis for another day, but let's focus on Levi's regrets for now.

If you look at Levi's monologue in chapter 136 independently, on its own, it's beyond confusing, out of blue and out of place. Why would he suddenly think "our duty may have ended four years ago" in the middle of a deadly war?

The only logical explanation is that he had been ruminating on their duty the whole time.

Now we know what exactly went through Levi's mind.   

Fascinatingly, there are some other clues.

One lies in the name of this chapter -  心臓を捧げよ (Devote the Heart) -  a strong indication of the link between Levi's inner thoughts with his painful farewell to Hange in chapter 132.  

Another glaring clue lies in "duty".

Isayama sensei even used the same Japanese word 役目 for duty in chapter 132 and chapter 136  to imply that Levi's monologue on duty was triggered by Hange's death.

In fact, the image of oath swearing in Levi's mind is reverted to imply the 180-degree shift from commitment to regret.

Before Levi's injury and Levihan's forest scene: commitement

After Hange's death: regret

The table has turned.

Right after Levi broke free the shackles of his oath, Zeke appeared. Levi killed him with one swift swing of sword. No torture for revenge this time, unlike before.

The Rumbling stopped. As Connie supported an injured Levi,  he said: " It's not that I don't have regrets. But ... we stopped the Rumbling, it's the right thing to do, right?”

Connie doesn't have a story arc of regret or lack thereof.

It's more likely him voicing Levi's hidden regrets and Levi's changed intent in killing Zeke — not for revenge, but to stop the Rumbling.

It explains Levi's expression as he slightly looked up, staring into the void, clearly consumed by his inner turmoil with something or someone in his mind.

Levi wanted to end their missions years earlier for an alternative life with Hange. It's an IF scenario.

In essence, IF is to go back in time, making different choices.

In case there's any confusion about his regrets, he made it clear in his monologue that he doesn't regret letting Erwin go.

Well, Levi's syringe choice is another puzzle with a twist, no less stunning than the twist in his oath arc. I'd say it's a love letter from Levi to the woman with sparkling eyes, an innocent dream and a selfless spirit.

But the analysis may cause some controversy and wrath from certain fandoms, so please let me savor it for myself for now.  

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LeviHan is a fascinating, heart-breaking and complete arc. Hange's part is comparatively clear, while Levi's part is more in the dark, requiring quite some efforts to piece together the whole puzzle.

I will probably write about the heart arc, later.   

In the final chapter 139,  Levi's last panel focuses on his scar.

The pain and regrets will never really go away, because of the "what ifs" — of what could have been with her.

real reason u cant bring him irl is hes so itty bitty hed get lost

Hat! Deaky.

QUEEN - News Of The World Tour

He’s doing pushups I swear 😔 that’s my twt @ btw I forgot I don’t have the same username

I love your fic!

Can we get some Joel/Reader noncon somnophlia out here???

🥵 God, yes. I could not be more down / master list

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What you're missing (noncon in your sleep)

1.2k | dark!Joel x Fem!Reader

NSFW 18+ Somnophilia, NONCON PIV, restraint. nonconsensual sex that starts in your sleep.

Joel wakes up in the middle of the night, cock as hard as a steel rod, with you in his arms.  You and Joel are sharing a sleeping bag for warmth, so you’re both nude - more body heat that way - and he’s spooning you.  You could feel him harden before you fell asleep, and you knew it was only natural, so you ignored it.  You were getting warm and wet yourself, and for a moment, you felt guilty.  You’re not exactly  single, but your partner was needed at the clinic and stayed behind.  Meanwhile, you were sent on a week-long hunting trip to provide your foraging and tree-climbing skills.  The rest of the hunting party got killed off, and now it’s just you and Joel.  It’s too risky to build a fire. Plus, you've encountered clickers, so you have to be quiet. 

So you might have felt guilty for a moment about your body's natural human arousal, but you shouldn’t have.  It’s strictly about the mission between you and Joel.  At this point, you're lucky to be alive, and you have Joel to thank.  A hard cock resting harmlessly against you is the least of your worries.   Attractive as he may be with his sad eyes, messy hair, and patchy beard.  Strong as he may be with his hulking biceps and thick neck. . . he’s a hunter, and you’re a gatherer.  That’s all you are together, and that’s all you’ll be.  

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And now, Joel's raging erection rests against your crack while you’re sound asleep.  He can’t remember the last time he was this hard.  Maybe never.  He scoots back just enough to adjust its position.  He nestles his length between your thighs, resting against your warmth in a special nook made just for him.  He rocks his hips forward to get comfortable, and the rest of his body nestles into yours again, with his strong arm draped over your body.  

His massive palm finds your breast and flattens it into your chest as he pulls you closer, your spine against his broad chest and stomach, which is just soft enough to be comfortable for you. The feeling of your nipple against his palm makes his hips rock into you once more. This time, as his cock moves against you, he feels something new – an irresistible wetness between your legs.  He rolls his hips into you at a slow rhythm, his stiff, thick member sliding against your wet heat, nestled between your folds like guardrails on a track.  His tip drags firmly over your clit before meeting cool air on the other side. 

You moan in your sleep and he stills himself.  You push your ass into him and tilt your hips in your sleep.  His breath deepens, and his heart rate quickens.  His arousal swells even harder.  When he rolls his hips into you again, the swollen head of his cock hitches briefly at your entrance and he has to suppress a groan.  He keeps slowly fucking the sleeve formed by your thighs and folds.   

Joel has never wanted someone so badly.  And even in your sleep, your body must want him, too.  When Joel is mid-thrust, your hips tilt again, catching his tip with your warm, wet hole. Desire seizes him entirely.  He freezes with the tip of his cock nestled half inside you.  He slows his breathing to emulate sleeping before cupping your breast again.  Your ass nudges back into him as he pushes the head of his cock into your tight, wet entrance.  He inhales deeply through his nose, trying to calm himself, but breathing in your scent only hastens his need to be inside you.  

Joel can feel your insides make way for his fat cock as he pushes a little more inside.  He moves his hand to your hip for leverage as he inches further, about half his cock sheathed by your tight pussy at this point.  He pauses to breathe, and you push back on him in your sleep with a moan, taking him further inside you.  Joel retreats slightly, seeking more friction after getting that taste.  Then, his hard cock plunges into you, slowly but decisively, all the way to the hilt.  You’re so snug and warm, you feel like absolute heaven wrapped around him.  It’s a tight squeeze and only made possible by how wet you are.  He stays there, all the way inside, just barely rocking his hips, hand on your breast. Then, with time, his motion becomes less subtle.  

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You awake with a  gasp to a fullness you’ve never felt before.  It’s nothing but bliss until you get your bearings.  You moan as he bottoms out again, and he’s emboldened by your sound of pleasure.  He stops holding back.  His hard shaft pumps in and out of you, kissing your g-spot.  He grunts and the sound shakes you back to reality.  You’re startled by the realization that this is real. You had been floating in some realm where it was just this disembodied cock, a dream man's arms wrapped around you, giving you the best fuck of your life.  As your knees brush the nylon of the sleeping bag, you jolt at the unmistakable knowledge that this is real, and Joel Miller is inside you.  

You squirm and his arm wraps tight around you, his hand clamps down on your mouth, and he says, “shhhh, it’s okay sugar.”  His hips only pause for a moment before he starts fucking you again, hard and slow.  “Just relax," he says into the back of your earlobe, then nibbles it and kisses your neck. “Let yourself have this.”  You might as well enjoy it.  You'll cope with reality later.  

You marvel at how he fills you up.  It's like he's a part of you. His stiff, thick cock—stiffer and thicker than you’ve ever had–hitting just the right spot.  His rhythm is perfect, and somehow–maybe because he saved your life–you feel so safe in his arms.  He engulfs you entirely and tightens his embrace in rhythm. His hand drifts to your clit.  It’s like he’s fucking you with his whole body.   It doesn't take long until you feel the familiar pressure pounding in your core, begging to release, and then it snaps.  You gasp as your clit pulses and your walls flutter around his cock.  He fucks you through your orgasm, saying, "that's it sugar, good girl, let it ride" and you succumb to the pleasure entirely, writhing in his arms, trying not to moan too loud.  

He groans softly into your neck and pulses inside you. You do nothing to stop him. He cups your breast and digs his nose into the nape of your neck, grunting as his hot load fills you up.  Then, he stays inside.  He strokes your naked body tenderly, and your eyes well up in tears.  Not just because it happened.  Not just because he did this.  Because now you know what you're missing, and you'll know it for the rest of your life. 

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Check out for survival 2 (one shot) for a similar situation but you're secretly awake.

Also, make sure you read the dbf (pt. 4) 🤐 (but it’s not the same).

The foraging concept is inspired by The Forager by @dark-scape (highly recommend, gigolo!Joel), not the same reader or joel.

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all joel: @ethanhoewke @silkiers @eiviea

➥ PSA: KÄÄRIJÄ IS A GROWER, NOT A SHOWER.