Look. I Don’t Think My Stretch Marks Are Beautiful. I Don’t Think They’re Tiger Stripes Or Natural

drunk and in love and full of food i think only the torturer eel could harm me

My landlord came to fix an issue to day with the apartment. He looks around the living room at the decor and the newly painted walls.

In a heavy Russian accent: “Your wife have very good sense of style.”

Me: “Actually, I live here alone.”

Landlord: “Ah, homosexual. Figured. I live in the apartment under you.”

Me: 😳

im queer as in gay, yes, but also queer as in really very peculiar

“here comes the sun” hits different when you remember the beatles were british

Every time I get groceries I’m always appalled at how little you can get for like, $20. I was making banana pudding so I needed vanilla wafers but the brand name nilla wafers cost $4 a box. The minimum wage in my state is $7.25/hr. My friend put it really well when he said “imagine you work for an hour and someone hands you two boxes of nilla wafers and said ‘actually this is a bit more than what I owe you’”

Why tf does my friend have Vines on VHS lmao

THEIR turn to be fairytale love story

Disabled person: *exists* Able-bodied person™️:

(ID in alt)

u are the sun 🌻

At a crossroads with mama