”Simon, You Need To Promise Me You Won’t Get Mad…” You Said As You Looked At Him From The Opposite

”Simon, you need to promise me you won’t get mad…” you said as you looked at him from the opposite side of the couch.

his brows furrowed as he looked at you, “Can’t promise, love.”

you nibbled your lip, picking at the skin on your cuticles before finally spitting it out. “I have a crush on someone!”

you’ve seen Simon in many ways - when he’s angry, sad, happy, horny and that beautiful look he gave you when he saw you on your wedding day, but nothing would’ve ever prepared you for the look you got when you said that. He looked like you hit his heart a thousand times. “Y’what?”

“I- I have a crush…and the problem is, I can’t stop staring and thinking he’s the most handsome guy. And when he stared back at me, I got butterflies and felt myself blush.”

He sat quietly, listening to you as you rambled on about your new crush…at least you were telling him and not cheating.

You let out a small sigh, “He makes me nervous and giddy; not nervous in a bad way, but nervous in a ‘I just want him to lean in and kiss me’ kinda way. Like, ‘Hey, my phone buzzed and I hope it’s him’ kinda way. And when I get ready to go out, I struggle to find the perfect outfit because I wanna look just right…”

that feeling of comfort he once had with you, his wife, was just fading away so easily. After all the shit that had happened to him, you were the last one he thought would do this to him. He stood up and ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head and walking off to the front door.

you got up and ran over to him, grabbing his arm. “Si, where are you going?” You looked at him, trying to figure out what made him upset.

“Away. Let y’have yer time with your new lad.” His voice was stern and full of venom. But it only got worse when he saw you crack a smile.

“Simon…no, lovie, I was talking about you! You’re the guy I have a crush on…and I know it’s gushy, but I feel like a teenager again every time I look at you. It’s your fault for being so handsome.” Your voice gentle as you cupped his face and pressed little butterfly kisses to his cheeks and nose.

he could do nothing but stand there dumbfounded. “Y’need t’find a better way of sayin’ shit, doll. Thought you were bout to leave me…” his voice got softer when he said that last bit.

your eyes softened, knowing how it sounded to him. You sank to your knees and pressed small kisses to his sweatpant clad thighs, earning a small groan from him. “Wha’re you doin’ love?”

“Apologizing…” you said, staring up at him through your lashes as you pulled his sweats down.

More Posts from Euno11a and Others

1 year ago

Can i be added to the taglist of tattooed hearts please? 💜

okie dokie 💜


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1 year ago

I'm begging for more sub könig🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 on my knees, hands clasped together, sitting on my heels, looking up, begging.

I like when you beg

so after a long day of walking around on base, your feet were absolutely killing you. You could feel the blisters forming as you waddled to your front door. Opening it, you were greeted with silence, which at the moment was all you wanted. You dropped your stuff somewhere on the floor and walked to the couch.

a while later, you could hear heavy footsteps. The couch sunk from weight by your feet and then you felt strong hands pull them into his lap. You open your eyes to see König holding your feet in his lap as he gently massaged them.

“Does it hurt, liebling?” He asked quietly as his fingers massaged the sore muscle of the bottoms of your feet.

“Mm, no…you’re being such a good boy…” you praise him quietly, reaching down to squeeze his thigh.

but of course a massage wasn’t enough, so you made your dirty boy eat you out until you came. Your juices and cum was everywhere, on his face, your thighs, the leather couch. You hated messes, so you made him clean it up.

“That’s it, good boy. Lick up mommy’s cum, baby. You’re not allowed to leave until it’s spotless. Understand?” You ask as you caress his head, licking the couch that was drenched with your cum.

He nodded, eyes making contact with yours as he dragged his tongue across the couch, through your cum.


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6 months ago

pairing: Childhood best friend! Jungkook x Childhood best friend! Reader

Warning: not much? Slight heartbreak, reader being madly in love with JK, JK being oblivious, jealousy, slight angst, fluff

***

Was it wrong to be in love with your best friend, even though he has a girlfriend?

I mean, it probably was, selfish even - but how could you not? He had the sweetest smile, the kindest eyes that sparkled every time he talked about comics he loved or new foods he’s tried.

There was an innocence to him almost, one that made him see the world and all the good in it. You couldn’t help the way your heart tugged every time you saw him with his girlfriend, the way he was slightly stiff, always had an awkward smile on his face and did almost anything to keep away.

He met Jia, his girlfriend, in high school. You remember the day he ran to you all giddy and smiley, telling you about the girl he liked.

“She’s so pretty! She has the prettiest eyes, and her hair, god her hair! She puts it into a ponytail and it sways when she walks-”

“Doesn’t all hair sway when people walk? I mean, unless you put product in or something.” You asked, raising a brow as he looked at you with a pout and furrowed brows.

“Jeez, Y/n, just listen! Okay? She’s…different.” He said, but the way he looked away with a small smile made your heart break. He rambled on and on about her, how amazing she was, how funny she was, the fact that he saw her in the hall today.

Of course you supported him throughout his years of dating Jia, you didn’t want to sabotage his relationship no matter how much you loved him. So now, being in university and a….semi-mature person, you decided to put this silly crush behind you.

It was annual game night with all your friends at his dorm, it was a tradition you had started in junior high and carried to now, in university. You walked up to the frat house door, hating the smell of sweat that lingered outside even. You were let in by Jimin, one of Jungkook’s friends who welcomed you with a hug. Walking in further, you could see the small group of people. You migrated to the kitchen to help get some things ready, feeling someone poke your sides. You jumped, a small yelp escaping your lips as you turned to see Jungkook with a big smile on his face. “Jeez, Kook! You scared me!”

He chuckled as he pulled you into a playful headlock, his big hands tangling in your soft hair. Pulling you into a noogie, he peppered your head with kisses, ignoring your muffled complaints.

"Ah, my favorite girl is here! I missed you, Y/n~" He said in a singsong voice, finally releasing you from the headlock. You grumbled and tried to fix your messy hair as he just grinned like a fool.

"Aww c'mon, you know you love my noogies!" He teased, flicking your nose playfully. "Now c'mere, I need my daily dose of Y/n hugs!"

He opened his arms wide, waiting for you to walk into his embrace. He loved you, he really did, you always cheered him up no matter what. Even when he had Jia, they never hugged or touched as much as he hugged you. He needed your comforting presence in his life.

"Seriously though, I'm glad you're here. Game night isn't the same without you." He said sincerely, holding you close and rubbing soothing circles on your back. He nuzzled into your hair, breathing in the sweet scent of your perfume.

“Of course it’s not! You need someone to humble you, who else is gonna do it if not me?” You giggled, pulling back to look at him. There was always this look in his eyes, one that you always thought too much about. It was like a glow, a special shine that happened whenever he saw you - and it made you glow.

Soon enough everyone was called to the living room, sitting around in a circle, you sat across from Jungkook, and Jia…well, she sat in his lap. Glaring. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, looking towards Jimin who was explaining how to play Truth or Dare.

“Doesn’t everyone know how to play?” Namjoon asked, everyone giggling as Jimin hit the back of his head, “No! So let me have my fun and explain. We’re gonna spin a bottle to start, whoever it lands on has to ask someone else a question, then they answer and ask, and it’s just a big circle.”

The first round was simple, Jimin asked Taehyung if he ate his last cookie, leading to a pillow being chucked when he said yes - guess the moral was don’t eat his cookies. Everything was fine, flowing normally, people laughed, someone almost started to cry from how much they were laughing; but all good things must come to an end.

“Who were you with yesterday?” Nora, Namjoon’s girlfriend, asked. And soon enough, everyone was focused on Jia. I could see the way Jungkook pulled back, brows furrowed as he looked at her.

“W-What? I wasn’t with anyone yesterday. I was with Jungkook!” She exclaimed, immediately becoming defensive. It was all a blur - the yelling in the room, the look of anger on Jungkook’s face, and then him dragging her away.

Everything was silent. We all sat there awkwardly, looking at each other, knowing that there was most likely a fight going on behind the closed door of his room. Ten more minutes passed, and Jungkook finally came out of his room, staying silent as he walked past everyone and out onto the balcony. You bit your bottom lip, pushing yourself up to follow after him, seeing his hunched frame over the railing. “I broke up with her.”

A gleam of hope shot through you, knowing it probably wasn’t the best time to have a small smile on your face. You sighed softly, moving to stand beside him, looking at him with gentle eyes. “I’m sorry…”

 "Part of me feels relieved, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. But another part of me feels guilty, like I just hurt someone who cared about me." He finally looked over at you, his brown eyes searching yours. "You know how much I value loyalty and honesty. And I just... I couldn't continue pretending anymore. Pretending to be someone I'm not, pretending to be happy when I wasn't... I like you. I have for a while, but I was too much of a coward to break up with Jia.”

His confession made your cheeks heat up, a look of adoration growing. He turned to you fully, his warm hands cupping your cheeks, eyes flickering from yours to your lips. He leaned in closer, his lips inches from yours as you lifted your hand to stop him.

“Kook…I like you too…a lot. Since grade school, actually. But…you just broke up with Jia, and I don’t think it would be wise to jump into anything just yet…” You wanted to bash your head in for denying him a kiss, but you knew it was for the best.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, you’re right…fuck.” He pulled away, looking down at his feet awkwardly. You smiled softly, reaching up to cup his face, words soft as you spoke.

“Don’t be sorry, okay? I’ve waited for you for this long…what’s a few more days?” It didn’t matter how long you had to wait for him, you just knew you would. And he would for you.


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1 year ago

Please tell us you have some thoughts on enemy!ghost hate fucking reader

love ur work so much wish I could pick ur brain (endearing)

please pick my brain🙏

hate is passion, so that means hate sex is full of passion. I mean - it takes a lot out of a person to hate someone else! Sooo, Simon hate fucking you after seeing that you almost got shot- OOOFFF

this man would be rutting into you from behind, fisting your hair in his right hand while his left is around your throat, pulling you back into him. He’s fucking into you like he’s trying to drill a hole through you. Of course, you’re an absolute mess, cum dripping down your thighs, sweat lightly gracing your skin, and that intoxicating blush that litters your cheeks.

"This is all you’re good for, just a hole for me to fuck. Bein’ all useless out on field, can’t fucking keep yourself safe. Stupid little girl." The things he’s saying to you as he brings you closer to your climax makes you insane! You can hear his low and guttural grunts as his thrusts begin to become sloppy. He was close. With a few more thrusts and the feeling of the chub at the bottom of his abdomen slapping against your lower back and ass drives you over the edge.

he isn’t very keen on giving you aftercare after. He pulls on his uniform once again as you laid on the bed naked and shivering. He would catch glances at you, unmoving and silent, once fully dressed though, he would crouch on the foot beside your bed. He gripped your jaw tightly making you look at him. “Never put yourself in a position like that again.”

when he left, you felt alone. But there was an odd feeling…his words, the way he fucked you…there was passion. And passion was a dangerous thing, it was something that could be lost in just a few seconds.


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4 months ago

I’m gonna be very honest here - I have sort of lost my want to write. I’m not quitting by any means, but I just can’t find any inspiration to write in this moment.

I guess I’ve kinda been on hiatus? Anyways, I want to write more. That’s the main thing, I just don’t know what to write. I’ve started a Jungkook fic called Baby Girl that I think I want to make into a series, but I haven’t really had time to continue writing it. Not only that, I’ve been swamped with other stuff. I wanted to post it as a surprise, but I didn’t want anyone to think that I was just…done posting.

I still have a HUGE love for writing, especially for Jungkook and other people, but none of them are sparking inspiration for me at this point in time😭 I’ve fallen back into my love for Bridgerton, and want to write for maybe some of the characters (possibly only Anthony, Benedict and Colin) but I was second guessing myself on if anyone would like it.

I’m trying to continue Baby Girl and it WILL come out, I just don’t know when. Sorry for ranting, I just wanted to share! And let me know how you feel about the Bridgerton idea, I always love seeing your guys comments :)


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1 year ago

Tattooed Hearts IV

Tattooed Hearts IV

Genre: No one to someone Tattoo artist! Jungkook X Reader

Summary: What happened to us? Why did we end up like this? It was only a one time thing. Now it’s ruined us both.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, mentions of hookups, insults, arguing, blood, mentions of period, insecurities, mentions of being kidnapped

Pt I • Pt II • Pt III • Pt V • Pt VI • Pt VII • Pt VIII

***

“Come on, slut, cum for daddy.” The rando spoke as he thrusted into you. You laid on the bed, not moving except from the occasional jump from his hard thrusts. Listen, you weren’t one for calling things stupid, lying or faking things. But the amount of times you’ve faked an orgasm tonight was hilarious. It’s been two hours of nothing but faking moans, whines, whimpers and orgasms. You couldn’t wait to leave, feeing stupid for even agreeing to have sex with this guy. Once he was finally done, you hurriedly put your clothes back on and gave him a quick smile before leaving. God, you really were a dumbass. The streets were dark, nothing but the street lights illuminating the road and sidewalk. Every sound you heard caused you to jump, it was never the safest option to walk home at 11 PM, fearing of being kidnapped or taken. You knew you weren’t gonna make it home without freaking out, so you walked into the nearest store, which just happened to be a flower shop. The scent of flowers and different herbs hit your senses like a truck. You walked around a little, curious about the beautiful blue flowers you saw.

“Blue hydrangeas, they symbolize remorse and regret.” You whipped your head around, seeing a pretty lady, thick curly hair with a green apron on, the worker. “You walked right to them, maybe it’s because something’s happened?” You paused, looking at the lady with slight shock in your eyes, “How did you…?”

“Honey, I work with flowers. Every flower in my shop has a story…just like you apparently.” You gave you a gap toothed smile, it was one of those rare smiles that filled your heart with joy. “Uhm, yeah…Sorry, I’ve had a rough night.” You smiled apologetically, turning to look at her. Eloise…what a fitting name, derived from ‘Helios’ meaning sun in Greek. “Well don’t keep me in the dark now! Tell me about it, hun.” She sat down behind a wooden table, making full bouquets, each one telling a story. You didn’t know why you felt the need to tell her what had happened, but she felt like someone to lean on. Catching her up about your night, Lindsay telling you to get dick, hooking up with some random guy, faking everything, even about Jungkook. You were now an open book to her, she chuckled, cutting off the bottom of the stems, “Sounds like your friend was just tryin’ to help, darling.” “I know, but I shouldn’t have listened. I’ve had experience like that in the past, I should’ve known.” You spoke quietly, looking down at the chrysanthemums on the table. “Listen to me, life is about experiences. Good or bad, they make you who you are. And you can’t let this man take control of your love life just because he hurt you. You gotta pull your pants up and find yourself a nice man that treats you right in life AND in bed.” She smiled up at you, giving you a knowing look. Blushing, you laughed, nodding your head. Maybe you should let Jungkook go. Yes, he’s hurt you in the past, but you can’t dwell on it. You sat with Eloise, watching her make bouquets, looking at the time you saw it was getting later than it already was. “I think I’m gonna head out…thank you, Ms Eloise.” You smiled, grabbing your bag and making your way to the door. “Honey, wait! Take this, I think it’ll help start your new story.” She smiled at you, handing you a bouquet. It was made up of hyacinths; representing young love, lilies and orchids; representing missing someone, daffodils; representing new beginnings and gardenias; representing secret love. You took the bouquet, smiling gratefully at her, waving and bidding your goodbyes, you left. *** The bouquet sat in a vase on your kitchen counter, standing full and tall, proudly almost. You stared at the luscious flowers, the bright colours illuminating your apartment. It seemed almost chaotic, the bouquet, so many colours, different flowers…it matched your life. There was so much chaos, yet it was so beautiful. You brushed it off, but the thought still in your mind as you got ready for bed. Brushing your teeth, your phone buzzed; it was Lindsay. Girl I trust🫶: Hey babes, I hope the hookup went well 😏 You: Yeah, I love faking everything for almost two hours Girl I trust🫶: OMG NOOO Girl I trust🫶: IM SO SORRY!!! You: Honestly, it’s okay, I met a nice lady that gave me flowers You: So something nice happened at least The both of you texted for a while, saying good night and heading to bed. Something about this whole night was itching away at you, almost as if you knew something was going to happen, but you didn’t know what. *** With two coffees in your hand, you walked down the street, it was a thank you gift to Ms Eloise for the flowers and listening to your currently fucked up life. You made it to the shop, it looked even brighter in the daylight, the flowers looking their absolute best just waiting to be put into someone else’s story. You tried to open the door, but it was hard when holding two coffees. “Let me get that,” You heard from behind you, someone opening the door for you. You turned to smile and say thank you, but remained stoic when you saw it was Jungkook. Don’t let him ruin your life. You gave him a tight lipped smile, “Thank you.” You walked into the shop, not saying anything else. The shop wasn’t busy, but you could see Ms Eloise behind that same wood table, making beautiful bouquets.

The little ring of the bell alerted her someone came in, she looked up and gave you her gap toothed smile. “Why, it’s lovely to see you again, darlin’!”  

“Hi, Ms Eloise.” You smiled back, walking further into the shop. “I got you this coffee as a gift for the flowers last night. I hope you like it!” 

She threw down her scissors, hands raising in happiness, “Ooo, honey, you don’t know how much this means to me. I absolutely love it, thank you.” She took the coffee carefully, sipping it and humming in delight. Ms Eloise looked past you, raising her brow, “Boy, I thought I told you to stop comin’ in here if you weren’t gonna get any flowers!” 

The deep chuckle, the one you knew all too well sounded through the shop. “Come on, Eloise, I was just helping this lovely lady open the door! Her hands were full and you know me, I love to help damsels in distress.” Jungkook walked further into the shop, leaning on the table beside you. 

“Oh honey, if you knew this one, you’d know she ain’t need any help from you.” She smirked at him, then looked to you, sipping her coffee.  

“Trust me, I know she doesn’t.” He looked over to you, glancing down your body, admiring the sundress you were wearing. 

You stood there stunned, “How do you know each other…?” It was almost like you’d been hit in the face with flowers.  

Ms Eloise laughs, grabbing a sunflower from the table in front of her. “He likes to pop in every once in a while to bug me, he’s like a pest that won’t get off my flowers! Only thing is, he never buys any.” She raised her eyebrow looking at Jungkook. 

He raised his hands up in defence, “I didn’t know there was a problem coming to say hello to friends!”  

“There ain’t, honey, but you could at least fill my pockets a little bit! The amount of times you walk in and never do anything is incredible!” Ms Eloise teased him, placing the flowers on brown wrapping paper.  

You couldn’t help but crack a smile at their playful banter, laughing a little as well. You talked with Ms Eloise for a little before deciding to head out, needing to get some errands done. You said goodbye and walked out of the shop, hearing your name being called. This time, you knew who it was and you turned around. “Y/N, where you going?” Jungkook asked as he walked to catch up with you. 

“Just running errands.” You spoke, your tone was no longer spiteful or hurt, but calm and more confident. 

He nodded, placing his hands in his pocket, staring at your eyes for a second too long. He looked to the street, seeing others walking around, shopping and talking. “Listen, I wanted to apologize for the other day. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable with anything.” His voice was sincere, different from what you’ve heard from him before. 

You nodded, looking into his dark brown eyes, “Thank you, Jungkook…that’s very nice of you.” You both stood there, looking at each other, but not saying anything until you broke the silence. “I…I have some errands to get done, so I have to get going, but I’ll see you around.” 

“Alright, yeah. Have fun with your errands, Y/N.” He gave you a small smile, turning around to walk away, leaving you to walk your own way. 

How funny, you pictured the bouquet sitting on your counter, white tulips being the centre…forgiveness being the central part of your story.

Taglist: @talyaaas-blog @cassies-cookies

@junecat18


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1 year ago

Hey there! I hope you're doing well. Your work is awesome 😍There is this comment still going on in my mind in one of JK's weverse live, "Jungkook are you Kor-IAN?" And the face he made and the expressions he gave it just lit up a fire inside me about the 🔞 FF. If possible for you, If you're not burdened please can you make one FF for me? About how Y/N is JK's virgin best friend/arranged wife, and how Y/N teases JK for the whole week or so on this Kor-IAN thing and one day he has enough of all the teasing and doms her in the sexiest way he can after posting that shirtless tiktok. And if you could please copy this song in the ff when the steamy part begins. I am really sorry if it makes you uncomfortable. I didn't intend to make you so...

https://www.instagram.com/reels/audio/1283716275746612/

OH MY GOD THIS ONE IS SO HOT😫 you’re never a burden to me, and thank you! I’m glad you like my work! I searched up the clip of JK getting called kor-IAN and that face…that face he made was fucking hot…I hope you enjoy this Warnings: Jungkook being a literal daddy(I can’t with this man), fingering, oral sex(fem receiving), squirting

Hey There! I Hope You're Doing Well. Your Work Is Awesome 😍There Is This Comment Still Going On In

18+ ONLY

How did you end up like this? Jungkook was behind you, holding you tightly while fucking himself into you. How did this happen? I’ll tell you how it happened, after watching his weverse live, you found out that he accidentally revealed the name Ian, which he chose for his private TikTok account. You had teased him relentlessly, poking fun at your future husband. Every time you teased, you could see this glint in his eyes, a glint that made it look like he wanted to ravish you. Accidentally taking it too far, that’s how you ended up like this…bent over the desk in your shared bedroom, one of his hands wrapping around your stomach ( so you wouldn’t get hurt by his rapid thrusts, pushing you into the edge of the table), while the other was at your clit. Nothing about this interaction had been slow, the second he came home, you teased him and that was the final straw.

https://www.instagram.com/reels/audio/1283716275746612/

“Who’s fucking your pussy so good, huh? It’s not fucking Ian is it, baby girl?” Jungkook asked as he thrusted his cock deep into you. He stretching you out so fucking good, making you a dripping mess on his cock.

“Y-you….Jungkook….m’fucking my pussy so good…!” You whined out as he slid his cock out, replacing it with his fingers. His fingers moved fast, touching you with complete pleasure.

“Is it still okay? I’m not hurting you?” Jungkook asks gently, a total contrast from how he was just acting. But you felt a warm sense flow through your body as you nodded, knowing that he was willing to take care of you. This is what friends did…right? Take care of each other? If so, then you wanted this every day. Keeping his fingers in you, he slowly kissed down your body, making sure to kiss, lick and caress every inch of your body. He didn’t know if you were insecure or not, but after this, he’d make sure to love every inch of you. Jungkook was now kneeling between your legs, placing your thighs over his shoulders so he was face to face with your pussy. Throwing your head back, you felt his warm breath, his got tongue, everything you could’ve dreamt of. Carefully, he took your clit into his mouth, gently sucking on it, scraping his teeth over it a little. It made you mewl, your hips jumping at the amazing feeling. Slowly sucking on your clit made you see stars, you couldn’t breathe, getting so close to the edge. Jungkook took this as a sign to start fucking you again. He positioned himself overtop of you, guiding his cock into your dripping cunt. As he started thrusting again you could feel yourself feeling something, but it wasn’t an orgasm…SHIT!

“Jung-! Jungkook, wait, wait, I have to pee!” You tried to stop him frantically, but waves of pleasure rushed over your body.

“Shh…it’s okay, baby, it’s not pee, I promise. If it is, I couldn’t care less, okay? Just let it happen, do it for me, princess?” He caressed your face, nipping at your neck, rocking his hips into yours again.

“Kookie….cant…won’t…mmghhh…!” Your walls squeezed him tightly, bringing you right over the edge, squirting all over his lower abdomen. He came inside of you, letting out low groans as he finished himself off. He slowly slipped out of you and went to start a bath. Once he helped settle you in the bubble bath, he kneeled beside the bath, gently washing your body.

“Are we still friends…?” You asked quietly, looking straight ahead, scared for the answer.

“Baby, I just fucked you and you’re asking if we’re friends?” He looked at you, his hands halting their movements, “You’re going to be my wife in a few weeks, I think we’re way past friendship.” Chuckling, he cupped your chin in one of his hands, giving you a long and loving kiss.

Kissing him back, you pulled away for air, “Sorry, I just thought it was a one time thing…”

“I would never be able to only make love to you one time. I’m gonna make sure to treat you like a queen every night. Understand, princess?”

“I do…”

A few weeks later, you said those exact same words.


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1 year ago

Tattooed Hearts VII

Tattooed Hearts VII

Genre: No one to someone Tattoo artist! Jungkook X Reader

Summary: What happened to us? Why did we end up like this? It was only a one time thing. Now it’s ruined us both.

Warnings: fluff, angst, smut, mentions of hookups, insults, arguing, blood, mentions of period, insecurities

Pt I • Pt II • Pt III • Pt IV • Pt V • Pt VI • Pt VIII *** God, she was meant to be a quick fuck and leave. Why couldn’t I get her out of my mind? I need her…

It was stupid of me to get drunk, and even stupider that I went to her apartment. She didn’t want me there, but she looked so cute in her pjs, I couldn’t help staying. I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t move, how’d you think I got there? It was a good excuse, even if she didn’t know it, to get her to touch me again. Her touch was intoxicating, something my body craved, yearned for, but I fucked it up. Ever heard the saying ‘drunk words are sober thoughts?’ “M’missed you…you looked s-so good in that long thing you were wearing in the flower home…”; “Baby, I know what I’m saying…miss you…miss your pussy…miss your love…”; “So pretty…su..such a good girl…my baby…” Even if some thought are more vulgar than others, they’re still true. Showing up drunk probably proved her point of how reckless and selfish I am, but you don’t know how much I miss you. I couldn’t get you out of my head, your curves, your eyes, your laugh…I need you beside me.

Playing limp body was fun, I got to hold her leg, cuddle up to her and even kiss her a little. So I have to pretend to be drunk all the time? No, no, bad idea! You’re trying to prove to her that you need her and only her. It was supposed to be a romantic gesture of some kind, but it failed…miserably. What happened to me? Every time I see her now, talking with Eloise, laughing with V, something burns inside of me. It’s an emptiness that I can’t explain, eating me from the inside out. Using other women to try and fill the hole was a shitty idea, especially since she found me with one. I think I get somewhere with her, but then I fuck it up again. She kicked me out of her apartment, “Stop coming to me when you’re high.” That one sentence haunting my mind, making me lose sleep at night. I fucked it up so bad, I need to earn her trust again, I can’t breathe without her. She doesn’t know the things she does to me, making me spend hours in my office, fucking my hand imagining it was her. My blood boils every time I see her with V, she laughs at his jokes, he gave her juice. He gave her the juice I bought for her, waiting for her to come back! Of course I had to lie to the others, saying I mixed up the flavours, no way I was telling them about the girl I was pinning over that I was also waiting for to return. God, I was whipped…

You were hard to find. I had to dig through the fucking system at work to figure out how to contact you. I swear, I wasn’t trying to be a creep, I just knew you wouldn’t willingly give me your number! And I doubt Lindsay would give it to me either. You sounded so sweet over the phone…your voice was like honey, something I’d be willing to drown in if it came from you. Yeah, you hung up on me, but I got to talk to you for a little! I’d call that a win. Another win was when you took the bouquet…I knew you’d like them. You always told me how you loved secret stories behind things, even if I could T give them to you, I’m glad Eloise could. Building that bouquet was hard! I wanted to take all the flowers you liked, but that wasn’t allowed. If I had a dime for the amount of times Eloise slapped my hand and told me to express my emotions through the flowers instead of pick what was prettiest, I’d be a millionaire. All those flowers that were strategically placed to tell you a story were working. After work, I’d come in to ask Eloise if you’d stopped by, gladly listening to her as she told me about your sweet smile and laugh, the way your nose scrunched up when you found a new flower and wanted to know what it signified. All of this will be worth it in the long run. Seeing you at the bar alone, sipping your rum and coke made me smile. The drink you ordered the first time we met. Sitting down, I expected you to leave or to tell me to leave. But you didn’t. Sure, you put up a fight, telling me to spit out what I wanted, so you could be alone and drink in peace but I wasn’t expecting you to listen. “I want you,” it just slipped out. But it sent shockwaves through me when you spoke “If you want me…like genuinely want me, you have to beg for it.” I had never been one for begging, but if that’s what it takes to have you in my life, I will beg for hours and hours, days, weeks, months. I need you in my life.

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