Tim With The YJ. “If Red Tornado Didn’t See Us With Anything That Is DIRECTLY Tied To The Act He

No. It isn’t, Tim was mostly against it cause he’s BATMAN. Tim refuses to be Batman

Tim: We're gonna kill them all!

Tim: Figuratively, don't kill anyone

Tim: in front of me

"Qui-gon traumatised Obi-wan!!"

Bold of you to assume that Obi-wan Kenobi did not immediately turn around and traumatise him back. Obi-wan does not have daddymaster issues his master has padawan issues.

He returns from MelidaDaan with the power of being 14 (derogatory) and excessive weaponry on his side. Qui-gon's being called by the teachers cause his padawan is teaching the other kids how to make shivs and also unionise. He's sneaking off to the lower levels to hustle sabbac games in order to buy tiny blasters he can keep in his tunics and boots.

When Xantos breaks in to the temple Obi-wan tells him that it's frankly embarassing for him to have had Qui-gon Jinn of all people living rent free in his head for so many years.

A happier galaxy where the disaster lineage is somewhat less on fire constantly and senior padawan Obi-wan has developed a fixation on Mandalorians:

Sometimes Feemor regretted just how much he had given away when he had spent 5 expensive months bribing a traumatised Obi-wan to call him brother when he was 14. His dignity, for one, his access codes and shadow cloaking techniques, another. So he had a very dignified reaction when he was awoken to the shine of his younger brother's eyes in the dark at the foot of his bed. "I wou-stop screaming it's just me-I would like a Mandalorian. How do I procure one?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

Obi-wan scowled as if Feemor was being difficult, he wasn't, he wasn't quite awake enough for that yet. "You're a shadow, you're supposed to know things."

Ah, if being a shadow granted you the secrets of the universe instead of just a great many planetary governments, Feemor wouldn't spend so much time wondering what dark rituals Dooku had committed to result in Qui-gon Jinn. (He already knew what regular rituals Qui-gon had committed to result in Obi-wan)

"I know that I'm about to punt you out of my room right now."

"...My birthday is coming up, I believe I deserve compensation for all the traumas."

Obi-wan's eyes were very big now. Feemor sighed. He flopped back down into bed. He resisted the urge to pull his blankets back up and roll over. 'Oh sure when it's time to see mind healers everything's fine but now-'

"Shouldn't you be asking Master then?"

"Master would not approve of how I plan to use the Mandalorian."

He squinted at Obi-wan for a long moment. Obi-wan stared back. He did some quick mental maths and tried not to feel old. Eh. Fine. Feemor swung his legs out of bed. "You had me at 'Master wouldn't approve'."

"Do you think I could get one by walking into little Keldabe and asking very nicely?"

As it turns out, yes he could. A few too many in fact, apparently Jedi, their ancestral enemy, in the Mando district attracted attention, who knew? Feemor knew, Feemor would have known if only he had been properly awake when this semblence of a plan was proposed. He stalked through the cantina towards Obi-wan who was leaning slightly forwards against a pillar, ah...speaking, to a Mandalorian with painted orange armour while surrounded by a larger crowd of Mandos. At least they seem mostly amused. He ignored the youngers squawk as he yanked the back of his robes so that he moved away from the Mandalorian and spun him around.

"You cannot solve centuries of animosity by batting your eyelashes."

"I'm not batting my eyelashes " Obi-wan sniffed," I'm shaking my ass, there's decidedly more effort involved."

"I miss when I was an only child." Feemor sighed deeply. He used the force to scruff the neck of Obi-wan's robes and dangle him slightly in the air. He ignored the shouting from beside him and bowed politely to the staring Mandos. "My apologies for the disturbance, this will not happ-" He considered his brother who was now yelling out his personal comm code with a wink. " Please excuse us, this very probably will happen again, we shall workshop it. May the force be with you all."

I don't have a fully planned AU but it is Codywan!!! cause I love those bitches but have some more dialogue I came up with for this AU. I'm imagining them both as like 20-23, Obi's close to knighthood. He's still a padawan for this because I think him causing Qui-gon headaches is funny. Feemor fully thinks this complicated courtship dance Obi's created is funny, he likes studying his little brother like a bug, he just wasn't prepared for him to just waltz into little kelbade and start hitting on people, though he really should have been.

Hand wavy timeline with Jaster alive but the clones are still clones, Jango was kidnapped and held in stasis or something, Jaster claimed them as Mandos. This is really just about Obi's first and biggest diplomatic achivement being friendly Jedi-Mando relations purely cause he was in his thot era. This also somehow saves the galaxy from the sith.

I like to imagine that Cody's brothers recorded that little exchange between Fee and Obi on their helmets and uploaded it online where it went viral on MandoNet before going viral galaxywide because wait holy shit is that a Jedi saying that????. Qui-gon gets called in for a very weird meeting where the council's like ok so the entire holonet has seen your padawan being horny on main but also this is like the biggest jump in our diplomatic relationship with the Mandos in centuries so like can we keep this up somehow? This results in Obi-wan being holonet famous, first through vode recordings but then he starts a space tumblr and twitter account and he's famous now. Then his friends and other jedi start accounts because wait we're allowed to do that? and those become big as well and this is literally the best PR the jedi have had in hundreds of years. the holonet loves them. the sith are fuming.

Obi-wan, scoffing: What were they gonna do? Shoot me? Feemor: Yes. Obi-wan: I don't believe in blasters. Bly: ...like as a concept...? Obi-wan: No, spiritually.

Obi-wan: I'm sure there's a nice Mandalorian we can find for you Feemor: I'm not sure those 2 words belong together Obi-wan: No of course not, we can't find a nice one, then they'd be all alone, we need to find an absolute bastard of one so that you two match :)

Obi-wan: Oh so Master gets to take in pathetic life forms but I don't? This one's already domesticated! Wolffe: Debatable. Feemor: Cody's a person! Not a stray tooka! Obi-wan: Master takes in stray people all the time! That's how he got me!

Qui-gon: How do you explain this behaviour Padawan ? Obi-wan: The force pushed me towards the Mandalorians Master, it was quite insistent on me developing better relations with them given our difficult history. Feemor: Fascinating, please do elaborate, I'd love to hear the theological implications of a force-assigned kink.

I really want an AU where Cody dies trying to kill Vader because he thinks Vader killed Obi-wan (he knows without a doubt that Obi-wan Kenobi High General of the Republic and Jedi Council Member did not die on Utapau after all) and wakes up on Melida/Daan just in time to save Obi-wan in a fight and have a minor breakdown when he realizes this tiny jedi cadet is his General and also bleeding.

He also absolutely refuses to let the kid leave without him. He’s seconds from trying to claim Mandalorian adoption rights if Jinn fights him on it but he also doesn’t actually know Mandalorian adoption rights outside of the fact that they exist so they’re definitely a Hail Mary he isn’t willing to try until last second. 

Jinn wants him to leave and the Council lets him stay because “they think he is a rock for Padawan Kenobi to rely on while they investigate what has occurred.” Cody of course takes this to mean he should just do whatever his now tiny General wants and it begins with training him in half-a-dozen different forms of hand to hand and also ensuring he can shoot with at least the accuracy Cody expected from shinies. 

saving for when ao3 returns.

Newscapepro SCP Rewrite, Llama of Love

“Cory!” Dr. Patience said in his incredibly high pitched voice that Cory did not want to hear at 9AM on a Tuesday. “You’re late for your training!”

“Ugh… I’ve been a Private for like a month now, why do I still need to do training?” Cory complained as he leaned on one of the lab tables near a metal safe.

“Because you know basically nothing about Skips after a whole month of being here!” Patience scolded. “Thankfully for both of us this next one is-”

Nikole suddenly barged into the room. “It’s me I’m here, chaperoning again cause Triana’s on a… meeting,” Nikole cleared her throat. “What are we lookin’ at this time, Doc?”

“That’s… what I was getting to,” The Doctor sighed as he opened up the crate, shoved his hands in and placed the two person, sneaker wearing Llama costume on the ground.

“It’s… a Llama costume,” Cory deadpanned. “I think I know why this one isn’t dangerous,”

Doc pinched his glasses. “It’s a lot more than that, anyone who enters the costume will believe that they are Larry the Loving Llama,”

“Oh I guess that’s-

“To the point where they die of dehydration in the suit,” Nikole smirked, having successfully annoyed the Scientist. “Probably should’ve told him that too,”

“I was getting to that!”

“Oh… that’s a lot less cool,”

Dr. Patience sighed again. “Admittedly, yes; we’re still gonna have a couple of D Class demonstrate it,”

“We really don’t treat D Class well here, huh?”

“Eh, they’re all murderers, or arsonists, or forum trolls,” Nikole shrugged. “They get fed better in The Foundation than they woulda in prison anyway,”

Cory looked down and puffed out his lips. “I guess…”

The two D Class walked in, neither was exactly the most scrupulous looking man; in fact one looked like he had just exited a knife fight like 15 minutes ago.

“Alright, for this test I need you two to enter this Llama costume,” Patience smiled. “That is all,”

“This is humiliating,” Mr. Knife Face said as he put on the legs.

“Yeah well, you beat your wife to death with a 2 by 4,” Nikole stared at the D Class.

“Alright, fair,”

Eventually, the two D Class entered the two person’d costume… it sat limp for a short moment and then instantly shot to life; standing up on all fours like a real Llama!

“Well hey there y’all; I’m Larry, Larry the looooooooooooving Llama!” It cheered.

A big smile grew on Cory’s face, no one else’s though. “Wow! I changed my mind this is really cool!”

“I haven’t,” Nikole leaned on one of the tables as she took a swig from her flask.

The Llama jumped in front of Nikole, the shock caused her to drop her flask and spill the contents in the floor “Woah there pal, don’tcha know that drinking is bad for you?” He looked at the multicoloured puddle produced from the flask. “Especially whatever that is…”

“What I do with my time doesn’t concern ya!” She grumbled as she picked up the flask.

Dr. Patience cleared his throat, interrupted the possible argument. “What can you do, Larry?”

“I’m glad you asked random old man! I can dance, I can sing, and I can play all kinds of pranks!”

“Pranks!?” Cory yelped in excitement. “Wait… what if we pranked called Triana right now?”

“Now that sounds like fun!”

“That doesn’t seem like a-”

“Hell yeah!” Nikole cheered as she tossed her phone to Larry. “Do it now, c’mon!”

Triana, the soon to be prankee was sitting inside of a relatively nice cafe across from her girlfriend, wearing the nicest clothes she had (Consisting of an old leather jacket, an old band shirt that she borrowed from Lara and some slacks) as her phone rang.

“Hello?” She exited her lovey dovey conversation with Lara as she put her phone to her ear. “Nikole, you there?”

“Hey, is your refrigerator running?” The Llama asked.

“Wh- Who is this? Who the-”

“Is your refrigerator running,”

“I should kick your fucking ass right now,” Triana gritted her teeth. “Who is this?”

“...Well then you better catch it!” The Llama, along with Cory and Nikole laughed as he hung up.

“Nikole? Nikole you little… ughh…” Triana sighed as Lara walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

“You good, Tri?”

The Lieutenant Sighed. “Yeah, just a prank call,”

“Ugh… coworkers amirite?” Lara shrugged, Triana sighed again; more of a joyful sigh as she looked at her hoodie wearing girlfriend, probably also the nicest thing she had.

“Difference is that my coworker’s lives are in my hands,”

“I’m mission control, Tri, how do you think I feel?” The two women chuckled as Lara went back to sitting; a waiter walked up to the two of them. She had long black hair and brown eyes with somewhat large bags. “Hey, what do you want?”

“Uh… fucken er…”

“Two burgers, one side of fries,” Triana interrupted, then smirked at Lara as the waiter wrote down their order and left.

Lara crossed her arms and pouted. “I would’ve gotten it eventually,”

“Suuure,” Triana rolled her eyes.

“Kinda sucks that we gotta go straight back to work after this,” Lara complained. “I mean shit, we need a vacation at some point!”

“We only get one vacation and it’s-

“Retirement, yeah…” Lara rolled her eyes and chuckled. “God, you sound like The General, dude,”

“I’m back, here’s your food, bye” The waitress placed the plates on the table then left as Triana handed her the money.

“Speaking of The General,” Lara said, a mouthful of fries in her mouth so Triana could barely understand her. “When do you think he’s gonna make us do another mission?”

“Tomorrow, it’s one of the less dangerous ones thankfully,” Triana gave a thumbs up. “Didn’t give me much more information though,”

“Well that’s helpful…” Lara looked down. “Also speaking of uh… not giving information when are we gonna tell everyone else about… us?”

Triana looked Lara in the eyes, the first time she had looked this serious in awhile. The Lieutenant cleared her throat as she finished chewing her food. “S-Soon, I promise this time,”

“Please do, I-I suck at lying you know that more than anyone,”

“Yeah, I just don’t want it to get in the way of any missions, honey,” Triana mumbled.

Lara sighed. “Fair, fair; I just think they deserve to know, Tri,”

“I do to…” Triana stood up and tiptoed over to her girlfriend; planting a quick peck on her cheek. “Love you,”

“Eh, l-love you too,” Lara turned beet red. “I suddenly c-can’t wait to go back to base now… heh,”

“Oh, you dirty little,”

The horror Tim feels when Jack starts randomly showing up at the cave and helicoptering. Tim has vague recollections of having to constantly hide his phone when he was at boarding school because teachers would randomly pop in, talk to their phone, snap a picture, and leave again because of Jacks need to make sure his babies okay.

i know the fandom likes to make Jack out to be a terrible dad but i personally enjoy to imagine him as a man who's just not that smart, but tries his best.

Tim, like six years old, angry that he wasn't allowed desert before dinner: I hate you! I wish lived on my own and never saw you or Mommy again!

Jack, tearing up and booking flight tickets: Okay kiddo, love you.

Janet, giving birth: AAAAARGH. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME, YOU COWARDLY BITCH. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS A BABY SO BAD, YOU SHOULD BE GIVING BIRTH!

Jack, tearing up and booking gender reassignment surgery: Okay darling, love you.

Nurse, glancing at his phone: You.. you know that surgery wont make you able to carry a child right?

Jack: Yes it will, it gives me a vagina!

Nurse: ...you know you need a uterus to actually carry the baby right?

Jack: What the fuck is a uterus? WAIT I CAN SEE THE BABYS HEAD OH MY GOSH JANET DEAR YOU'RE DOING SO WELL!

Tim, age 15: Dad, i'm glad you're trying to be better now but... Why did you and mom neglect me for so long?

Jack: You told us too! I wanted to raise you, i was a stay at home dad, but you said i was horrible and that you wanted to live on your own!

Tim: ...

Jack: Obviously that was irresponsible so we sent you to boarding school, but we only visited a few times a year to respect your boundaries. I would send you back, but I was in a coma so i'm allowed to be a little selfish and spend time with my baby.

Dick: Didn't your dad just wake up from a coma? And he's already got a girlfriend? No offense but-

Tim: My mom told him to.

Dick: Timmy, sometimes men lie-

Tim: No, literally, it was in her will. She literally told him that if she died first, he had to get a new partner, because she knew he'd die alone without her.

Dick: What...

Tim: Also, i was the one who chose Dana. She's great! Mom said I had to pick a blonde because yellow is his favourite colour.

Tim: Dad, why is the only picture of Mom you have framed one of her in a bikini? Do you not have any others?

Jack: I do, i have hundreds! But this was taken on the day she proposed to me! Well, i have more from that day, but they're not safe for little eyes.

Tim: Thats both the most romantic and disgusting thing i've ever heard.

Jack, puling out a picture of Janet sobbing and very obviously screaming: I have this picture of her on my bedside table though, its from when she found out she was pregnant with you! Two of the best days of my life!

Nothing to say. Just wanna spread this to my followers.

Harbinger of Chaos who??

So I'm thinking of writing a EMpires Hero Villain AU. Can I use this as a refrence? I'm thinking something along these lines for a scene. Is that okay @rhapsoddity?

Then why are you trembling?~

DPXDC prompt. AU! Ultimate Enemy + Justice Lords = ?

As a child, Danny adored Superman. A super-strong hero who is also alien? It was a dream come true. Fenton did not understand paranoid adults who did not trust a stronger creature to protect themselves. Of course it was only a matter of time.  Phantom had to learn to understand them.

While standing at the Justice League welcoming meeting, the ghost can’t help but feel a tension. The alien can’t shoot lasers out of his eyes if they’re ripped out, the alien can’t hurt Valerie if he’s killed.

Everyone seems awfully friendly. And it hurts. Because he knows what they’re capable of and can’t return the favor. Can’t trust them, can’t go wrong. Because he promised himself he wouldn’t let history repeat itself.

"So, Superman or Phantom, who’s stronger?" Flash is smiling and clearly trying to break the ice.

Ectoplasm isn’t kryptonite but it’s something even more poisonous and dangerous. Danny perfectly remembers how easy it was/will for Dan to separate a head from alien’s body with one sharp motion. His new.."colleagues"..should not know too much about it yet. In case of unexpected circumstances in which Master of Time cannot help.

Danny shrugs and pretends to laugh sheepishly, exchanging glances with Kal-El. I would win. 

~~~~~

Dan Phantom was Amity Park’s nightmare, that’s true. But still, as strange as it sounds, he was the least of their problems, and he remained their protector even though he became a villain.

Amity’s government had to give a lot of money every month to pay for the damage from fights between Red Huntress and Dark Phantom but the residents were more than willing to pay taxes for it. Because out there, outside the city and the ghost shield, the Justice Lords ruled. It’s funny how the most haunted city in just ten years has become the safest from the "justice" of former heroes city.

~~~~~

The site of the Nasty Burger explosion is never empty, so citizens tend to avoid it so as not to anger the grieving ghost. The only exception to the rule is these days when the Justice Lords try to challenge their city’s independence. Many people gather near the site of the tragedy then. Fentons, though not always successful, tried to protect Amity, so their son, or rather what is left of him, always brings the bodies of the defeated enemies to their monument, showing that he's still in a family business. 

Danny Fenton was entitled to mercy on his enemies, but for Dan Phantom it's a luxury that might cost too much. Phantom is not a hero anymore but, whatever he is, it is enough for them.

Obi-Wan Kenobi and Jon Antilles are best friends.

We've accidentally met in the room of the Thousands Fountains as children and instantly hit it off.

Obi would get very accurate visions about Jon, so he knows his friend is alright and Jon would sent messages when he could.

That also share an unlikely bond that allows them to see each other and talk, if both of them meditate at the same time.

They make it work. They're very close. Jon is the only one who knows everything about Obi-Wan’s Padawanship and Obi is the one Jon comes to when everything feels too much.

But here lies the problem.

Jon never comes to the Temple.

Ever.

He's just not comfortable.

And when someone asks Obi-Wan who's his best friend and gets 'Jon Antilles' as an answer they don't believe him.

Quinlan thinks Obi-Wan’s joking.

Ahsoka thinks her Grandmaster is just private and is not comfortable with sharing personal information.

Anakin thinks Obi-Wan is just trying to annoy him because obviously he is Obi-Wan’s best friend.

No one thinks Obi-Wan tells the truth.

Because Jon Antilles is such a common name.

There are literally thousands Jons only on Coruscant.

But Obi-Wan doesn't realize they don't believe him. So he just joins in when Anakin jokes about it, let's the clones laugh it up once in a while. He doesn't think anything about it.

And so, one day, Bones comes to the medbay, to check on the General only to find him wrapped around some random guy, sleeping.

Bones stops, his thoughts are something like "Holy hell, there the kark this guy came from? Who the hell is that? And why does the General cuddle him like a favorite plush tooka?" Which he doesn't voice, carefully not to wake the General who's finally sleeping!

The guy, however, is awake and gives Bones an annoyed look. "That's what happends when you give him Kireffon." He says and Obi-Wan swats at his chest in his sleep and mumbles that pillows do not talk.

And Bones is slowly backing away from the room while comming Commander Cody because he is not going to deal with this crap.

And when Cody arrives and before he even opens his mouth the guy goes "Ah, you must be Cody. Obi-Wan talks a lot about you."

Cody doesn't have a clue how to respond to that, and he doesn't have a chance to find out, because Obi-Wan's waking up and looking around sleepily.

"Cody! You're alright!" Obi-Wan cheers with a bright smile. Then frowns. "Who else is alright?"

"Everyone is alright, sir. The only injured one is you." Bones chimes in.

Obi-Wan nods into the guy's chest. "Good."

Cody raises the eyebrow of judgement. "Good? You almost got yourself killed! What were you thinking, opening yourself like that?"

"A rock was going to fall on Crys." Obi-Wan replies slowly. "Crys can't survive a rock that size falling on him. And I like Crys! I can survive a stray blaster bolt. I did it before, Jon, tell them!" He tugs at the guy - Jon's - sleeve and holy hell, is that really who Cody thinks it is?

Jon nods seriously, looking up at Cody. "He did." And Obi-Wan is so happy to get a confirmation, he just beams and then snuggles back to get more sleep because he is comfy.

Jon dissappears the next morning and no one says anything to Obi-Wan once the drugs are out of his system.

But after that Jon just starts randomly dropping by to chat or to give Obi-Wan some new tea he found. He eventually makes friends with the Ghost Company and most of the 212th. He even joins them on some campaigns.

And still no one believes he is real.

Obi-Wan is still oblivious of it but the whole 212th thinks it's hilarious.

They just keep mentioning Jon to their brothers and other Jedi, to see their reaction.

It escalates to the point where Anakin gets fed up with all this Jon-thing and barges into Obi-Wan’s office to tell him to stop.

To find Obi-Wan, Cody and some guy having tea.

"Oh Anakin, come in. I believe you haven't met yet - Jon Antilles, my dear fri-"

"WHAT"