Dan Really Looked At These Two, Observed Them Being Useless Sapphics, And Took Matters Into His Own Hands.

yeah

i didn't get to go into this in as much detail as I wanted in oathbreaker because it was already at like 13k words when I stopped

But in my head:

they weren't trying specifically for a kid but they also weren't trying not to, they both kinda thought they were too old

they both had a really rough time when they first found out - Maria because of Kevin and being pregnant again when her son should be an adult but was stuck forever at three, and Tommy because of Sarah because I will die on the hill of Tommy basically raised Sarah with Joel and it broke him just as much when he died

this is when they made the memorial we see as a way to remind themselves they aren't forgetting Sarah and Kevin

by the time Maria's in her second trimester they are both incredibly excited but show it very differently

Maria has done this once, and is excited to be a parent without freaking out every time the baby does anything

Maria is also greatly enjoying not throwing up the whole time like she did with Kevin

Tommy also panics constantly whenever Maria looks even marginally uncomfortable

Tommy has just gone fully insane over being a father

Maria is four months along and he starts rebuilding part of the house so they have a proper nursery

He makes a rocking chair and a crib and a load of wooden toys

He also starts bringing back baby clothes from patrol runs except he has no idea how newborn sizing works so a bunch of it goes to the coop in town

Maria does not take maternity leave until she is like, actively in labour, and then she still finishes a council meeting before telling Tommy who freaks out and sprints for the doctor, tripping on his shoelaces as he runs out the door so now the do tor has to deal with Maria giving birth and also Tommy's broken nose

The baby is incapable of going to sleep without being held because between Maria and Tommy they are always holding him and then Ellie and joel get back and this baby is spoiled as hell (as all babies should be)

picturing the sweet shocked look on tommy’s face when maria told him she was pregnant

Someday, somebody is going to take Procreate away from me, but until then I will subject you all to this

damn imagine thinking the only way people have worth is if they never do anything unhealthy. panic must never drink, exercise daily, and always have the correct micronutrients. consider: people are worthy of respect irrelevant of what they eat, and you are a dick.

it’s cool and sexy to be fat and like food

insp. @kallypsowrites​

WHAT IF, WHAT IF that moment where MJ is falling she's saved by another spider-man and it's Andrew's

the spider in my parents garage: friend shaped. delightful. huge, to be clear, probably the largest native british spider I've ever seen, but proportioned in a friendly and charming way

the spider in their bloody shower: evil. cursed. why is it like that. somehow too many legs??? (still eight legs)

yes insects can be friend shaped or not friend shaped the same way snakes can be

i would like to say an apology to the poor pedestrian who walked by my yard just in time to hear me say "oh you are NOT friend shaped"

i can assure you that i was only speaking to the absolute unit of a fuck off bug that was menacing me while i was innocently trying to inspect my zucchini

ao3 is down, so now I must get my fanfic quota via writing it myself.

surprisingly good motivation lol