I Binged The Second Day In A Row And I Feel Fucking Awful

daily affirmations:

i'm not chopped

a burger is not going to kill me

the opinions of my classmates don't matter because i'm not gonna see them after we graduate

i do not have a secret crush on my teacher

i'm not a pedophile and smiling at someone younger than me doesn't make me a pedophile

i am not secretly being filmed

i'm not a secret serial killer

nobody is stalking me

it's not a bad life, it's just a bad day

I got a new book to reeeaaad

I don't read a lot (I used to inhale books as a kid and I have my fanfiction phases, but I just don't have tiiiimeee and when school is stressful the last thing I want to do is read even more 🥲)

But I'm supper excited for this one

Lesbians will see a girl with slightly rolled up sleeves and be like. Oh. Oh no.

War is over y'all

(I successfully changed my bedsheets in less than an hour)

This Moment when I've borrowed my friend money the other day and I ask her about it - it's not even that I care about the money on itself that much, just wanted to remind her - and she just says that she doesn't have cash and offers to buy me something in the cafeteria instead - despite always being the first to make jokes about how I never eat

It's not that big of a deal, but it did kinda bug me, because the way she said it made it sound like she knew exactly what she was doing and stuff

Because she's always trying to pressure me into eating, which I appreciate, but then it also gets annoying

Everything I got from the store today! I ended up not getting too much because I reconsidered my budget, but here it is! They didn't have my usual protein bar flavours so I decided to try these new ones, and I haven't tried on of these monsters as well. I just like to amass safe foods and look at them it makes me happy honestly lol

you know you’re deep in an ed when you’re triggered by finding out you have a higher than average birthweight 😭 like wdym i was nine pounds as a newborn? ok fatty

Family is going out to eat with me shit-

The next few days are going to be incredibly busy for me, but that's awesome because I'll literally won't have time to eat :D

I'm not going to try and fast though, because I will need the energy

It started today with me having to stay at school until 6pm (🥲) because of choir practice, tomorrow I'll have to leave almost right after school to play at a concert (I know I'll barely have time to change and maybe practice the pieces one last time)

And on Saturday I'll have singing stuff from 8am to 4pm

Both crying and laughing right now because I know I'll be DRAINED when all this is over, but I won't be around my parents to watch me eat, I won't be at home with all the binge food and I'll probably be to busy to even think about eating anything, hopefully

As I mentioned though, I will be having dinner, because it's the only time I'll be around my parents and I will really need that energy