I just want to sit next to the field leaning on her on a cool summer evening with a slight breeze allowing for light jackets and the music, chatter and light of the party we escaped from somewhere in the distance.
I want to hold her hand and taste the evening air and finally LIVE
Imagining, craving all that is so painful knowing I'm fat, thinking that all of the romance will be taken from that moment when all I can feel is myself jiggling as a fat blob next to her
I don't want feeling fat to overshadow what could be so many beautiful moments, because my body has taken so many of these from me
I just want to feel comfortable taking off my jacket to drape it around her shoulders instead of using it to cover my thighs and belly
That's the true reason I've got to be skinny until summer, heck, now, as soon as possible.
I love the sun I love sunny stuff this is the most beautiful time of the year and I'm so here for it
freedom is being in charge of your own destruction
Tw: Talk of self harm, vent
So, we got this new girl in our class and she doesn't bother hiding her scars - they're all over her arms and look like they were quite deep and I don't know if I'm wrong or being an asshole for feeling like this, but a while ago I kind of told a friend of mine that I used to cut (I told her "used to" so she wouldn't actively worry and at that time, I was really trying to quit) and now we have to take these stupid swimming classes - and don't get me wrong, I'm actually glad I don't have these permanent bright pink scars (I have some which are like dents in my skin, but mostly mine are white or light pink) and I schedule when I do cut in a way they'll be as healed as possible for the next swimming period - and I just feel like such an attention-seeking crybaby now for having told my friend without even looking like it's bad - heck, maybe she didn't even notice at all, because she hasn't said a word to me about it!
And I feel so bad for feeling somewhat, well, competitive towards that girl in a way, because I didn't start off for attention at all and now the last thing I want is to be discovered probably, but I guess I'm just really worried about what my other friend thinks of me now, but I can impossibly bring it up to her-
It's just really something else when you see something on the internet, sometimes even as "motivation", than seeing it in real life.
I got a new book to reeeaaad
I don't read a lot (I used to inhale books as a kid and I have my fanfiction phases, but I just don't have tiiiimeee and when school is stressful the last thing I want to do is read even more 🥲)
But I'm supper excited for this one
What the scale sees before I step on it:
Thanks for the spam!!!!
I love spamming :D
Thanks for posting stuff to spam
big plans this easter (getting drunk‼️)
Just tried that light green/paradise monster and it reminds of me those apple gummy bears I used to eat as a kid? Idk it's just kinda sweet and not my favourite but I think it's definitely drinkable
I mean it for sure makes me kinda nostalgic - I mean these gummy bears made me (among sooo many other things) a fatty little kid and then I got bullied and then there were Mom and Grandma's comments and you know how the story goes lol.
Yeah... the good ol' days
(The more I'm sipping in that monster rn though the more I like it so I guess 7/10???) lol no one asked for a monster review yet here I am
(Can you tell I'm fucking bored?)