REEEEAAAAALLLLLLLLL.

LONG LOST BROTHERS THAT I NEEEEEEED IN MY SHEETS TONIGHT.

i am full delulu or does eddie and zakk (from deathhasm) look like long lost brothers?

Hate myself for loving you!

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Rockstar! Reader

warning: language and adult themes

enemies to lovers (slow burn)

events of upside never happened.

face claims for Miranda and Mark are Maryl streep and robert di naro

border/lace credit to @benkeibear

the songs mentioned and lyrics are current songs. they ARE NOT MINE. i will be listing the songs in a separate post. but imagine whatever song in a rock/metal sound.

1989!

“absolutely fucking not.” Eddie scoffed as he glared and Mark, Corroded Coffins manager. The rest of the guys stayed absolutely quiet. “and why not Munson? mind you ever since you two started out they’ve always been on top of us no matter what! so what could possibly make you not want to make a song together! you both play the same genre so what the fuck is the problem now Munson?” Mark said as he glared at Eddie. “Problem is they are a fucking disgrace to rock music! simple.” Eddie said as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“fuck no!” y/n said as she stared at Stacey in complete disgust, The girls looking over at y/n knowing the exact reason for her outburst. “and why not?” Miranda asked raising her eyebrows at y/n which wasn’t a good sign. “because… we always top their songs on the charts! we’d be doing them a favour if anything.” y/n said as she crossed her hands over her chest. Miranda wasn’t convinced. she knew there was a reason. but she just couldn’t put her finger on it.

“he threw a whole tantrum, said that he refused to sing with a bunch of disgraces to the rock world as he put it” Mark said over the phone as Miranda walked down the halls of their record label, walking back to her office as her assistant followed her. “threatening wouldn’t work….” Miranda mumbled as she moved to sit on her chair, behind her desk “i’m all out of ideas Miranda.” Robert huffed as Miranda rubbed the bridge of her nose “i’ll call you back Mark” Miranda said as she ended the call and stared at the frame on her desk. a picture of all the girls when they won their first grammy.

Eddie walked out the building and rolled his eyes as their cameras began flashing. it was a well known fact all over the world that Eddie munsons biggest enemy was paparazzi. they annoyed him too much. he put his glasses on before walking over to his car, pushing through the large crowd as he made it inside his car and drove off, not giving a fuck who was where. he just wanted to go home and relax. he took a glance at his glove box. knowing exactly what he’d hid in there. when he moved to open it he took a glance back at the street only to press on the break

1986!

Eddie ran through the hallways of hawkins, in his first, was a paper. hes going to graduate. the most important thing right now was to find her and tell her that he’d done it. that he’d passed. he’d gotten to her locker right when she did, he wrapped his arms around her and spun her around before slamming his lips against hers as she let out a fit of giggles. once he put her down he looked at her as he wore the biggest smile she’d ever seen on his face. “what?” y/n giggled as she licked her lips, wiping off her red lipstick from Eddie’s face.

“i’m fucking graduating. i passed!” Eddie smiled as he handed y/n the paper, she grabbed it her smile soon after copying the same one he had on his face. “you did it! i’m so proud of you!” she smiled as she hugged him tightly. Eddie wrapped his arms around her waist again as he felt her arms around his neck. he took in her scent as he kissed the side of her head. “and since i did, i’m taking you out for dinner and then a lovely two course desert back at my place” he teased as he bumped their noses, causing y/n to smile as she gave him a peck “i’m not apposed to the idea” she smiled before watching as Dustin ran over to the two

“watch it ya fucking asshole!” y/n yelled as she had pulled Robin back from getting run over, therefore their coffee landing all over the road. the girls were too caught up in making sure they were ok that they hadn’t noticed who the driver was. Eddie had noticed who he almost ran over, his face fell for a moment before he hit the gas and sped off. y/n glared at the car from the back cursing under her breath “i hate new yorkers.” y/n said as Robin chuckled “if you haven’t realised we are new yorkers” Robin said to which y/n rolled her eyes

“you wanna get another coffee?” Robin asked as y/n shrugged “sure, the asshole ruined mine anyway” she said as she put her hands back into her leather coats jacket as she and robin walked back into the store. Eddie gulped as he’d realised who he almost ran over, he rubbed his chest as he felt it tighten. their time together bringing tears to his eyes. it was all his fault. she hated him and it was his fault. she would never believe him. he missed her. ached for her. Eddie turned the radio on in hopes of it changing his mood. but he was met with her voice booming through the stereo. it was the song that made Glass Army the band that it is today. the song came out right after Corroded coffin released their first single, Vampire. which was dedicated to y/n. “up next! Glass Army’s hit song, I don’t care!” the radio host said as the song started.

Eddie remembers vividly the first time he heard the song. the hurt in y/n’s voice in the recording. which was kept in. it was her response to Vampire and Eddie knew it, because the cover of Vampire was a polaroid of y/n’s hand on Eddie’s guitar. her face didn’t show, it was just her hands around the neck of his guitar. they took the picture after y/n jokingly got long nails with bats on them for their prom. they looked great and that’s why Eddie took the picture, she had slipped on all his rings too. but the cover image to i don’t care was a bunch of polaroids, on fire. one of the polaroids were of Eddie’s old van and their tree carvings. of course, the E in the picture was burnt out but Eddie knew.

1986!

y/n giggled as Eddie inspected each nail “that’s so fucking cool baby” Eddie chuckled as y/n smiled, moving to peck his lips before grabbing his hands and slipping his rings off, if this was in any other instance with someone else, Eddie would’ve caused a scene at his rings being taken, but it was y/n. he’d give her his soul and organs if she asked. y/n laid on Eddie’s bed as she grabbed sweetheart from next to her, placing it on her as she wrapped her hands on its neck in a way to show off her nails, Eddie grabbed his camera and snapped a bunch of pictures.

Wayne smiled as he heard their giggles through the walls. Eddie put the guitar and camera aside before he climbed on top of y/n, his hands on either side of her head, his lips ghosting hers as she stared into his eyes. their lips connected as they moved to the rythme of ‘still loving you’ by the scorpions in the back. “you know i love you?” Eddie muttered against her lips as her lipstick smeared off, she nodded kissing him again as she wrapped her arms around his neck to keep him close “i know ed’s…i know.” she muttered back

life update

so this month has been shit. my grandpas anniversary came up on the 8th. and the problems i mentioned before with my mom, oh and today. i cried again since Eddie (my ex). Saul broke up with me, i had two panic attacks, one in the middle of my arabic class, and another during english. yesterday i told him how i havent been feeling well and he told me to figure what i want out and text him but till then hes tired and going to sleep (we were doing long distance because he lives in argentina and i live waaaaay far away.) today during my arabic class i texted him and he told me hes breaking up with me, said that he loves me and cares for me but yet he thinks its whats good for us both. he proceeded to continue to tell me he loves me while i begged him not to and i ended up telling him that i will not forgive him for what hes doing and that i hate him for how hes hurting me, i logged out of the account and then in the afternoon during english, i checked and he ended up saying that he couldve up and left me but he didnt because he cares about me and loves me which is why he talked to me about it. and he replied to my other texts saying "sorry bye" and he removed me on snap as well as tiktok because those are the only things he had me on. (i checked snap on my laptop rn and his accounts gone, idk if its the same on my phone). i went to the bathroom while im shaking and like trying to breathe, and i called my best friends but only one picked up because she had a study period. after me and her talked for a bit anout what happened, i suddenly couldnt breathe, just completely couldnt for i dunno how long and then i just started sobbing. then when i was able to calm down, i got to class again and afterwards had a smoke session with the best friend i was talking to's sister. i met up with my best friend who didnt pick up and we walked back to our building, cuz we had class in a diff building. we found some of our close friends in this little garden area we have n sat there because after the smoke session i was gripping the railing in the staircases, as well as my best friends arm because i felt like throwing up and passing out. and at that moment i just started sobbing again and shaking, after a while of my friends attempting to calm me down, my business teacher saw me and i told her i was fine she said obviously im not if im this distraught but if i need her i know where her office is. i had a talk with my old chem teacher because i trust him and cuz my music teacher (was mentioned before) had a lesson. everyone tried to get me to cheer up, one friend just held me (which i needed i love being held), one jumped up and kicked his feet while impersonating mickey mouse, the friend who answered my call sang arabic lulibies for me and then niki manaj, my friend who was at the garden area started singing cupcake songs, my friend who didnt pick up my call just stuck with me the entire day and made sure i drank enough water even tho i didnt eat at all even tho she tried, my other friend checked up on me every five minutes and during our lessons together, a bunch of my other friends tried to cheer me up. but nothing worked and i dont think i can just explain how exhausted and tired and drained i am rn.

ok so, yk how ppl say go back to ur ex as many times as it takes for u to hate them? well i did that, went back to her a second time and thats when my self respect kicked in, i ended it this time cuz she said let’s go slow but we were on pause, she didn’t wanna build a genuine friendship first. last thing she told me before i blocked her was even though i hurt you that didn’t mean i didn’t love you. oh fuck u, u evil fuck ass dyke, literally had me go through hell which everyone around me noticed from the ppl who knew me well to the ones who didn’t. but i’m getting better now, my hair stopped falling out and i can actually eat again but yea 👅

man these Eddie ai voice things r driving me inside. I NEED IT LIKE RN, BUT IM DEADASS BROKE- HELP

A little death 1

summary: Rock n Roll was at its peak, and so was Guns n Roses. However, the most popular band had lost their drummer, and what’s a rock band without their drummer? So when a new girl steps in to fill the gap in their band, slash doesn’t take too kindly to her. She’s wild, untamed, free spirited, an addict, and yet, she was free. Everyone loved her. The world loved her. And yet, Slash couldn’t. He hated her. Plain and simple, because it was easier to hate her, than to love her.

warnings: this will contain mentions of sexual themes and adult themes. if any of those things trigger you, please hope off now :) ....

Axls eyes fluttered open, noticing the chair closest to y/n was empty, Slash’s chair was empty. the redheads gaze moved onto the bathroom door, slightly closed but not fully, light coming but from the bottom of the door. Axl got up and took a glance at y/n, still laying practically lifeless with no color in her face. not makeup, no wine colored lips, nor her pink highlighter. He rubbed his eyes as he walked off to the bathroom, slowly pushing the door open as he looked inside, his best friend was on the floor shaking while he clutched something close to his chest. Axl didn’t say much or anything for that matter and sat down next to him.

he rubbed his knees and he kept his gaze straight. Slash gulped putting his forehead against his knees. Axl took a deep breath, licking his lips before going to speak up.

….

1 MONTH PRIOR

"fucking bitch." Slash muttered under his breath as he took a sip of his water, leaning against a wall as he watched y/n sat on a couch with a bunch of other people around her, all sharing lines. Izzy was next to her as he took a line after her. “hey handsome” A brunette said as she moved her hand along Slash’s shoulders and arms before moving in-front of him, slash took a glance at her before looking over at y/n again, soon enough the girl in-front of him pulled him into a kiss, which he couldn’t resist melting into it.

it took a while before the two pulled away, Slash’s gaze averting to where y/n was sat, to find a empty spot. “i-uh, i gotta go” Slash said patting the lady’s arm before rushing off looking for her, walking into a couple rooms to find some couples fucking, Duff and some groupies, some more people doing lines but no y/n before he heard a voice say “man, get off my dick” followed by a giggle, Slash turned around to check the voice out and found y/n on the floor while a guy was standing infront of her with a bag of what looked like to be powdered heroine.

y/n looked over at Slash and smiled “aye! Sau- oops, Slash!” she giggled, as Slash quickly bent down to help her up “okay, let’s get you back to the hotel” He said concern lacing his voice, this was a routine to Slash at this point, he came to parties to look after y/n. “hey man, come on! we were gonna go do something!” the guy said moving over to grab onto y/n’s arm “hey, fucking touch her again and i’ll fuck you up.” Slash said loudly, y/n’s eyes widened as she giggled once again.

Slash quickly moved y/n’s arm around his shoulder to help her walk out, he walked out the party, helping y/n sit down on the sidewalk before calling over a taxi. once one stopped, Slash, helped her back up and helped her get in the back, getting in next to her as he told the driver where they were headed. he rested back before licking his lips, looking over at her. “did he do anything to you?” Saul said as y/n shook her head “nope, but i sure missed out on some good shit” she chuckled laying her head on his shoulder

“think you can stay awake?” Slash asked, hearing her hum but knowing she was going to do the exact opposite, he rested his palm on her leg, moving his thumb in a circle. it didn’t take long for them to arrive, he paid the driver before nudging y/n awake “come on, need you to walk with me sweets, kay?” he mumbled to her, moving some hair out of her face, as he wrapped her arm around his shoulder just like before, walking them inside the lobby as he moved over to the elevator. “you’ve got a lot of hair, y’ know that?” she giggled as Saul chuckled “yea i know sweets. come on” He said walking them inside the elevator and pressing the floor of their rooms

“oh no!” y/n said scaring Saul as he looked over at her worried “what?” “we forgot Izzy! oh and Axl, and duff too!” y/n said looking at Saul, causing him to laugh “sweetheart, we didn’t forget them, they’ll be here soon. how much did you drink?” he smiled looking down at her as he smiled, noticing y/n’s mascara leaving little marks near the top of her cheeks “hold still” he said moving his thumb to wipe his the stains off, before the elevator ping let him know they’d reached, he helped y/n carefully to her room, her giggles filling the hallway “you’ve got your keycard right?” Saul said, realizing he should get copies of her card

“mhm, right here” y/n said pointing at the pocket that held her wallet, Saul dug his hand into her pocket, pulling out the red leather wallet and taking the card out, putting it against the scanner and pushing the door open as he helped her in and set her down on the bed. putting her wallet on the table under the tv. taking his leather jacket off revealing his rolling stones shirt that he had worn after the concert “take your jacket off for me sweets.” Saul knew y/n never remembered most the night after she got high and drunk, so the sweetness wasn’t remembered after all.

Saul drugged through her toiletries and found the makeup wipes she always had, taking a wipe out before wiping her face clean of any makeup, helping her into the bathroom as he then helped her do the skincare routine he had remembered knowing the band would never hear the end of how she forgot to do it. Once she was done, Saul rushed to get the clothes she slept in, which were a shirt and plaid pj pants. he handed them to her as he waited outside for her, She handed him her old clothes which he put in the laundry bag for house cleaning to take care of. He finally had her in the bed, tucked in and out like a light.

he looked at the clock and realized it was 3 in the morning, knowing she had time before their next flight “hey, im leaving this right for ya, okay?” Saul whispered to her moving some hair again out of her face as he put the trash can next to her along with her painkillers and water “night love” he whispered kissing her forehead before grabbing his jacket and leaving the room, closing the door behind him as he leant up against it, digging his face into his hands

“how long are you gonna keep taking care of her before you two realize you love each other?” Saul heard, looking up to see his red headed friend “ ‘m not in love with her” “you sure? because you could’ve left her to do whatever is what she was gonna do with that guy, and every other night, would’ve left her to come home with Duff and Izzy real late, to sleep in her makeup and heals and leather pants.” Axl said looking at his friend as he licked his lips

“Saul-“ “there’s nothing going on. got it rose?” Slash said, looking at him before walking over to his room which was three feet away from y/n’s unlocking the door “night” he mumbled before walking in and slamming the door shut

…

“you okay?” Axl asked as Slash looked at him shrugging “if she is i am.”

update

his graduation was a few weeks ago, and i fell into a spiral. crying all the time, the mere thought of getting out of bed made me feel sick. my friend to cheer me up got me to talk to this boy, turns out his sister made all of year 11 completely hell for me. the whole thing was short lived.

my band was performing at his graduation, and i got there early, i was gonna go in and watch his ceremony but i couldn’t, i started crying when i heard his name and ran off. i didn’t go up to him the entire time i was there. didn’t even say goodbye when i left. i couldn’t bring myself to do it. that same morning i sent him a text saying how i hate how we’re on bad terms (told him i was in love with him and i had to stop for the sake of my sanity) but i just wanna say how proud i am. we got to talking and he told me we were never on bad terms. but he wishes that we had more time together as friends then fighting over something that he doesn’t even count as a real relationship. this is the first guy i’ve ever loved we are talking about. he ended up telling me too that i was just a rebound. i puked like i e never done before in my entire life. june is his last month here before he’s off to college, told me he’s never coming back but he’ll miss me. you know what’s the worst part of all of this? i just wanna hug him. don’t care what happens after. i dedicated strangers to him by ethel cain (who i recently got into and she’s all i ever listen to because i connect to her songs in a whole other level as weird as that sounds but i feel so content.) because it just described everything i’m feeling. it goes from me wanting to be his, to worrying if i’ve hurt him or done anything, to me mocking him and asking if he feels guilty for any of it. all he said was. he’s sorry. he’s fucking sorry. sorry won’t fix what he’s done. sorry won’t give me a year of my life back. it won’t give me all the tears i’ve cried back. i wasn’t enough for him to love. i was a fucking rebound. if i throw myself off a building. it would’ve hurt less then hear him call me a rebound. tell me that everything we did (sexual or not) made him feel shameful. i’ve never ever had a guy see me in that way BUT him. AND HE FEELS FUCKING SHAMEFUL? I SHOWED HIM PARTS OF ME I NEVER WANT ANYONE TO SEE OR TOUCH. AND HES FUCKING ASHAMED? HOW IS THIS FAIR? WHY TF IS NTH EVER FUCKING FAIR TO ME. IM NOT FUCKING LOVEABLE. IM JUST THE REBOUND. OR THE GIRL YOU ASK FOR SEX OR SHIT. I AM NOT LOVEABLE.

My Angel ☆

Slash x reader

warnings: a bit of angst at the start, just fluff, mentions of alcohol and drugs, etc.

summary: y/n and Saul get into a fight about his addiction, and saul finds a letter y/n had written about him.

authors note: listen to September - sparky deathcap, because it fit 💀 part 2!!

"Oh go fuck yourself, saul!" she yelled out as tears streamed down her face, staring back at the man she loves. she hid her face in her hands as Saul let realization hit him, he failed her again, he relapsed after promising to stay clean for the third time in their five years together. he called her names, trashed the house, told her he wished he never loved her, that he despised her. all because she had flushed his stash down the toilet, those words were the first thing she said since he started his tantrum. her sobs now filling the apartment "s-shit baby" he mumbled as he walked towards her his hands reaching up to hold her arms "don't touch me" she said flinching away from him almost instantly she finally looked up at him, with a look he couldn't even describe. y/n grabbed her car keys and purse, quickly rushing out of the apartment, leaving saul alone with his mess. she left. his brain was too drugged to comprehend going after her, he didn't know what to do, he was lucky he was even still standing with the number of drugs he's consumed. Saul rushed over to the phone connected to the wall, dialling Stevens number as he waited, till he heard a voice "steven adler speaking!" "adler, I fucking- y/n, she left and... shes gone" saul sobbed into the phone, leaving his friend very confused as Steven looked over at duff who'd been over at his house "hold on, me and duff are on our way okay?" saul nodded, letting the other hang up as he fell against the wall. he looked around the trashed apartment and noticed underneath a pile of glass, was a book. y/ns handwriting on the front of it. it was her journal, the one she always wrote in. he moved over to grab it, his fingers moving over the old leather cover of the book. he opened the book and let whatever page open, his eyes read over the words, letting himself remember how he loved her handwriting, she always said it looked like a little kid's handwriting, almost unreadable but he always read whatever she would write. he noticed the date that was written 22/9/1987. the day guns n roses performed at the ritz in new york. how can he look so pretty, so angelic without even trying, my saul, a complete angel. gosh how I love him, how I adore him, I've loved and adored him since we first met before all this, before guns n roses, back in 84. I don't regret going to Madam Wong's in East Hollywood, I remember how adorable he looked, his hair was less wild then. I remember the funky clothes he wore that night, god how I remember what I felt when he looked at me. I felt like a little girl whose crush held her hand for the first time during recess. I remember how he stumbled over his words when he came up to me afterwards, I remember how gentle his touch was, how he asked to kiss me underneath a faulty street light in California's weather, I remember every date and moment that happened after. I know saul isn't clean anymore, it hurts me knowing he could slip through my fingers at any given moment, he doesn't remember how I held him a few nights back, I could hear his breathing vividly, and I could see how the colour and life was sucked out of him, he looked almost ghost-like. he doesn't know that's why I haven't slept well in the past few nights, how could I? how could I rest knowing my angel might vanish. how I hate when he does it, but then again, how I love him. my beautiful beautiful boy, I gifted him that song and told him it described him very well. a very beautiful boy. I've dreamt of love this good, and I've got it, saul hudson will forever be the man I love. if we're together or broken up, far or close, in love or fighting, he will always be that angel that sits in my heart, strumming his guitar without a care in the world, singing my favourite songs to me, letting me run my fingers through his untamed curls. I wonder if we ever have kids and if they'll take after him, I hope they do, how I would love little version of him, with his beautiful brown eyes, gorgeous black curls, beautiful facial features, warm coloured skin.

how I love him, my sweet beautiful boy, my guardian angel. y/n l/n ♥ Saul hadn't noticed how hard he began sobbing, this was how much she loved him. and yet all he did was tell her he didn't love her at all. he pulled the leather-covered book to his chest and pull his knees to his chest. not realizing that the door had opened and revealed the mess of an apartment to his two friends. Steven's eyes quickly made their way to Saul, who was surrounded by broken glass, and wood. Duff looked around, getting an idea of what just might have gone down. they both rushed over to Slash, glass breaking underneath their steps "Hey man" Steven said as he crouched down to Slash's level "we need you to calm down alright? so you can tell us what happened and where y/n is" the smaller blonde explained as Duff rubbed Sauls back 

"get him some water, Adler" Duff said as Steven rushed to do so. it didn't take Steven long before he made his way back to them handing Saul the glass, who chugged it down rather quickly. "could you now tell us what happened?" Duff asked, Saul, keeping his gaze straight ahead "she found out I relapsed.she flushed all my shit down the drain, and I got mad at her. I yelled, I threw things, broke some more, i-i told her I didn't love her... that I would never forgive her for what she did, fuck man- I told her I hated her, despised her even" he mumbled letting out a sob towards the end "and she told me to go fuck myself, and when I tried to touch her, she moved away and told me to not touch her, and then she... she left without another word. I need her, I really really love her and I fucked up" he mumbled tears rolling down his cheeks, not caring that this had to be the first time he'd cried around the guys. 

Steven squeezed his shoulder before sighing "let's get you to bed, and then I'll clean up here and Duff can go look for y/n/n, okay?" Steven told his friend before he and Duff had helped Slash up and to his bed, the one he and y/n got up from not long ago. the minute Saul's head touched the pillow, he was out. Duff noticed y/n's journal in Saul's grip, he took it and placed it on the bedside table before leaving the room and closing the door behind him, Steven grabbed a garbage bag and began cleaning up the glass "you knew. you knew he was doing drugs again and didn't say a word to her." Steven told Duff looking at him "I know, I already feel like an asshole" the man said as he sat down on the couch ..... part 2 will be up soon, I promise!! thoughts?

apocalypse

Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Model! Reader

warning: language and adult themes

events of upside never happened.

The first time Ethel saw Eddie perform live, it was from backstage, tucked in the shadows where no one could see her. The energy of the crowd was electric, a thousand voices screaming his name, hands reaching, desperate for even the smallest piece of him. But he was untouchable, all sweat and leather and raw power, his guitar a weapon, his voice a battle cry.

She should have expected it, but still, it knocked the breath out of her.

She wasn’t the only one watching. There were others—groupies, roadies, industry people—but none of them saw him the way she did. None of them knew the boy beneath the stage lights, the one who got nervous before every show, who doodled in the margins of hotel notepads, who laughed until he was breathless over the dumbest jokes.

When the set ended, when the last chord rang out and the lights dimmed, he practically ran offstage, his chest heaving, hair wild with sweat. And the second he saw her, standing there with her arms crossed and that half-smile he was starting to crave, he grinned.

“How’d I do?” he asked, voice rough, still caught in the adrenaline.

She took a step closer, trailing a fingertip down the collar of his leather jacket. “You were alright.”

He scoffed, pulling her in by the waist, pressing his lips to hers. “Liar.”

She laughed, and then he was kissing her, his hands slipping beneath the thin fabric of her dress, fingertips pressing into her skin like he was afraid she’d disappear. The noise of the venue faded, drowned out by the pounding of their hearts. It was reckless. Addictive.

Later that night, curled up in the dim glow of his hotel room, she traced lazy patterns on his bare chest, the sound of his slowed breathing filling the silence. “You’re kind of unreal, you know that?” she murmured.

He caught her hand, pressing a kiss to her wrist. “You make me feel real.”

And just like that, she was his favorite addiction.

My Angel ☆☆

Slash x reader 

warnings: a bit of angst at the start, just fluff, mentions of alcohol and drugs, etc.

summary: y/n and Saul get into a fight about his addiction, and saul finds a letter y/n had written about him.

authors note: listen to September - sparky deathcap, because it fit 💀 part 1!

Saul's eyes slowly began fluttering open, how he'd prayed it was all a bad dream. he could see a figure standing against the balcony door, the soft wind occasionally blowing her hair. it was her, it was y/n. He got up slowly rubbing his eyes as he walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and putting his forehead against her shoulder, what made his heart ache was the fact that she tensed up "please don't do that" he whispered, not being able to handle the thought of her leaving him. She kept her gaze at the beach straight ahead, she knew she should listen to the voice in her head, not Saul's begging her not to leave, but that tiny one that was warning her, to not put herself through, god she should listen but how could she? how could she leave her angel. her beautiful boy.

"you have to promise me. promise me that you won't relapse again, because I can't do this every time. I can't keep handling having to put you in a new rehab program every single fucking time you relapse because the one before didn't work. I can't handle coming home one day to find you dead on our bathroom floor, I really can't Saul, I get so worried when you head over to the studio because I know that if Axl even offers you a drop of fucking heroin you'd take it without a second thought. I can't lose you Saul, and you can't seem to comprehend that, I really can't." she said letting out a few sobs as her hands flew to hide her face in her palms, Saul looked at her and spun her slowly "I am so sorry sweetheart." he mumbled his own tears rolling down his cheeks as he hugged her tightly she wrapped her arms around him sobbing into his chest, how she missed his scent. "I promise you I'm never doing any of that shit ever again, I swear to you y/n." he mumbled into her hair kissing the top of her as she moved to look at him, he looked down into her eyes, wondering how could he have hurt her so much "can I kiss you?" he asked moving some of her hair away from her face as she nodded, parting her lips a bit as he leaned down to kiss her, his hands resting on her cheeks as hers stayed in their place around his waist "I love you, I love you so so much it hurts." he mumbled to her against her lips "I know" she mumbled back as they kept their lips connected, Slash always told her that his lips were made to kiss hers, just hers and no one else's. they were moulded perfectly to fit her lips. once they'd pulled away, y/n kept her forehead against his "I love you, and one day, if you'll take me, I'm gonna marry you, I'm gonna take you wherever you want, we can have those kids you said you wanted" he chuckled through his tears. "you know, the ones with big curly hair and brown eyes?" he said as she grinned a bit knowing he'd read her journal as she had never mentioned kids to Slash "you read that?" she mumbled as she wiped her cheeks "yep, I read the part where I'm your angel. just so you know, I know someone whos even more angelic then I am." he smiled as she moved back a bit to look at him, as her eyebrows furrowed "and whos that?" "you." he said, watching her cheeks turn red as she chuckled a bit "I seriously love you so much," Saul told her caressing her cheek with his thumb "I love you too, baby," she said as he connected their lips once more .... this was short I'm sorry!! but here's part 2!