A Love Like Ours

Ying Lei + ZYC and ZYZ

21. On a place of insecurity

(Ying Lei needs some love in this fandom ♥️)

You're so right, Ying Lei deserves ALL the love!

Seeing Zhao Yuanzhou and Zhou Yichen being disgustingly happy together doesn't get any easier, even with the passage of time. Ying Lei had kind of hoped it would: that he'd get used to them being sappy, and coincidentally going to bed at the same time, and then arriving at breakfast at the same time as well, looking equally sleep-deprived.

It's not that he doesn't want his friends to be happy! They deserve all the happiness after what life has been throwing at them. It's just that Ying Lei kind of wishes he had that, too. He stares into his cup of wine. The others have long gone to bed, and it's really no fun drinking alone, but as long as he doesn't finish this cup he doesn't have to go to bed yet. If he doesn't finish the wine he does not have to finish the empty darkness of his room, and lie awake in the night while his mind fills the emptiness with too many thoughts.

It's trying to do so even now, and Ying Lei has to shake his head to dislodge the thoughts that are trying to drag him down. Perhaps that's why he doesn't notice until it's too late.

Another pair of wine cups appears to his left in a familiar swirl of red energy, and someone sets down a new bottle of wine to his right. Zhou Yichen-daren sits down across the table, and the inevitable demonic presence that follows him elegantly flops down onto the cushion next to Ying Lei. He doesn't even bother to sit upright, and Ying Lei can practically hear his grandfather berating him. Apparently Zhao Yuanzhou cannot, because he leans his shoulder against Ying Lei's and reaches for the wine.

"Drinking alone isn't good for you, little mountain god," he purrs, and pours all three of them a drink. Ying Lei loses his tongue somewhere between feeling the demon's warmth even through his mountain clothes and the way the demon's thin robes are barely being held together by a single ruby-and-gold clasp at his throat.

Ying Lei decides that the sensible thing to do is to ignore him. Across the table Zhou Yichen is staring at him a little too intently, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of his lips. He is dressed at least a little more decently, which is to say: he's not showing any skin. What he is wearing, however, is most definitely a cloak that belongs to a certain great demon, over what appears to be his sleeping clothes… "Xiao Zhuo-daren, I thought you… both of you went to bed earlier. Is there something wrong?"

"Hmm, very wrong," The demon practically purrs as he hands Ying Lei his cup. Ying Lei looks at him and then remembers he was ignoring him and turns back to Zhou Yichen. He is just in time to see him blink away a confused look.

"Our friend seemed lonely," is all the explanation Zhuo-daren offers. "So we decided to make sure you're not," the demon adds. He raises his cup in a toast, and when Zhuo Yichen joins in Ying Lei can't very well leave them hanging.

"To good company," the demon toasts, and they drink deeply. It suddenly occurs to Ying Lei that Zhuo-daren's ... boyfriend? His partner? Zhou Yichen's demon is leaning against Ying Lei, barely dressed, entirely indecent, and Ying Lei is letting it happen. He's also pathetically grateful for the company, and he'd rather the demon didn't move, but he also doesn't want to offend Zhuo-daren–

Someone lightly flicks a finger against his forehead, and Ying Lei is thrown back into the present. "Really, little mountain god, someone like you shouldn't get drunk so easily," the demon teases. He moves to steal Ying Lei's cup as well, but Ying Lei isn't about to let him steal the one thing he can rely on for company. He moves the cup to his far hand and holds it out of the great demon's reach. Zhao Yuanzhou makes a playful grab for it anyway, and for a moment too long Ying Lei is distracted by Zhuo Yichen's smile at their antics. Then he overbalances, and falls over sideways, and the demon leaning against him falls over with him.

The floor is not so far, and there is a cushion left there from when Bai Jiu was sitting on his other side during dinner. He lands softly enough, and even manages to save the wine– and then Zhao Yuanzhou plants an arm on either side of his head, catching himself and looming dangerously close over Ying Lei.

There is an infuriating smile on the demon's face, and he doesn't move at all, so Ying Lei can only lie there, one arm outstretched to hold his cup, the rest of him trapped under the warm weight of a demon. From somewhere above them, Zhou Yichen sighs. "Is this what you meant when you said you wanted to discuss our proposition, you great monkey?" Ying Lei can hear the eye roll that accompanies his words, and he has a front row view of the demon pouting, winking at Ying Lei, and then looking at Zhou Yichen all pouty again– without getting up from where he is practically sitting on top of Ying Lei. Ying Lei wonders what proposition they are talking about.

"Xiao Zhou-daren, sometimes you have to go with the flow! If life gives you an opportunity you should take hold of it with both hands and not let go."

Very carefully, Ying Lei sets down the cup of wine on the floor above his head. With his free hand he starts to lever himself up, fully expecting Zhao Yuanzhou to move out of his way. He should have known better than to expect the demon to behave in any way predictably, for Zhao Yuanzhou does not move an inch. He only smirks wider when Ying Lei tries to sit up and comes to within an inch of those smiling lips before realizing the demon's play.

"O- opportunity?"

"Yes," Ying Lei can feel the breath of that word touch his own lips, and shivers. Zhao Yuanzhou's smile is all teeth now, it is hard to look away. "We thought you seemed… a little too alone. And when we saw you watching us leave this evening we thought: perhaps he could keep us company."

There is something oddly specific about the way he emphasizes that Ying Lei could keep them company. Not his friends coming to drink with him, no: he, Ying Lei, join… them?

"Hah?" the thought refuses to make sense, but the demon only blinks at him, toothy smiley unchanged: dangerous and tempting. "But… aren't you two…?" It seems rude to even say the words, that his friends are sleeping together, living together, practically married except for some paperwork.

"Yes," both of his friends chorus at the same time.

"But then why…"

"Why not?" Zhao Yuanzhou grins. "Only if you're interested, of course," Zhou Yichen adds, ever considerate. "This isn't about us." Ying Lei has so many questions right now, he doesn't even know where to start. He settles for a lame: "I don't' get it," and immediately feels like hiding in a mountain cave for a few years because of how stupid that sounds.

"Allow me to show you," Zhao Yuanzhou grins, and doesn't wait for permission. He closes the small gap between them, and wraps a warm hand around Ying Lei's chin. His lips are hot against his own. Ying Lei gasps, and the great demon uses that invitation to invade his mouth, licking and tasting and stealing his breath–

Then he leans back, and he's still wearing that same smirk. Panic wells up in Ying Lei and he looks towards Zhou Yichen across the table– only he is gone, his seat empty. The warm fingers on his chin turn his face back to Zhao Yuanzhou, and then further to the other side, where Zhou Yichen has sat down next to them. Ying Lei doesn't get the time to worry about kissing Xiao Zhuo-daren's boyfriend-demon-something. Zhao Yuanzhou presents Ying Lei to Zhou Yichen, and Zhou Yichen smiles and wraps a hand around YIng Lei's neck. His hand is cold, or perhaps it only seems that way because Ying Lei must be blushing bright red, and he pulls him close. Zhao Yuanzhou sits back up to allow him space, and Ying Lei moves as if in a dream. Zhou Yichen's kiss is entirely different: gentle and questioning, lips moving together as if partners in a dance. His hand is solid as stone, unwavering and undoubting, and Ying Lei feels like a small stone caught between two great rivers. Xiao Zhuo's kiss steals his breath in an entirely different way, and when he finally comes up for air two pairs of eyes are looking at him expectantly.

So I Just Finished The Brothers Sun…

And I’m obsessed!!!!!

The whump: immaculate.

The family dynamics: a hot mess.

A new favorite sad man: Charles 🤌.

Soooo… I have a couple of fic ideas rolling around in my noggin, and wanted to see what some of y’all might be interested in (I will write even without an audience 🦅🦅🦅).

Ideas are welcome 💪

I live here now

It takes Kant less than five seconds, between a groggy Bison pushing him back down onto the bed and his skull nearly smacking against the headboard, for him to realize that he’s well and truly fucked. In a horrifying instant, all of his bravado, what little there was, is gone, leaving nothing behind but the hollow cavern in his chest where terror can take root. --- Or, a different take on the Kant/Bison scene from the end of episode three, sans the drugging, featuring: introspection, more angst than you can imagine, a sprinkle of trauma and (mostly) responsible, caring Bison.

---

A fic for this lovely fandom! Please, come indulge my traumatized Kant brain worms :)

So... I may or may not be writing a fic...

In the spirit of avoiding my grading papers (the horrors of graduate school), I've begun to toy around with a Fangs of Fortune fic/plot bunny that may or may not come to fruition...So, here is a very very brief snippet from the brain worm that has invaded my thoughts:

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“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”

– Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Every twitch of his-the wings sends an arc of pain, present but not real, racing up his spine. Fingers desperately strain against the urge to tear them off, to rip the unsightly appendages from their new, still healing joints, where pale skin met sinew and feathers. They were heavy, an unholy weight that unbalanced him, body and soul. He hated it, this nagging, roiling violation, tainting the very core of who Zhou Yichen was- who he would never again be. 

Yichen hadn’t left his chambers for some immeasurable period of time, for the sake of contemplation, or so he very much attempted to convince himself. Really, in some darkened recess of his mind, he knew, hidden, but not wholly, was the aching shame, a sensation that burrowed its way into his very bones, gnawing and taunting at every turn. Each footstep in the corridor, much louder than ever before, every hushed whisper setting his teeth on edge.

Teeth he pointedly didn’t acknowledge had sharpened into fangs. 

—

On his third day of self-ascribed solitude, Zhao Yuanzhou finally makes himself known. 

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Anyway, would love to hear anyone's thoughts!

Ok y’all… I have some thoughts…

People on Twitter getting mad at Sand 🤨

Why exactly is he expected to have his feelings sorted out from the get go, when we had to deal with like half of the whole series with Ray trying to sort out his feelings for Mew?

I think some people forget that others are allowed to have complicated feelings, especially when it was someone they used to deeply care for. It’s seems to me that people are just irritated that Boeing is getting in the way of their insanely idealized vision of SandRay…

Anyway…

Soooo…. let’s say, hypothetically, I was drafting a Nont/Prom fic… 👀

Anything y’all might want to see in it ? 🤌

The dynamic(s) of these two have completely rotted my brain, and now I need a fic to fill the void.

Squid Game Season 2

Soooo… I have a lot of ideas and I need some direction….

I’m itching to write something for this show (strangely did not have the same urge after the first season)

- you’re beautiful too, unnie.

Rudimentary Fangs of Fortune romantic/sexual relationship chart based on the first seven episodes.