I Mentioned Tumblr To A Friend And He Didn't Know What It Is. Is Nature Healing Or Have The Old Gods

Hear me out: a stereotypical zombie movie, but instead of having a ragtag band of teens or slightly unhinged adults, it's five different doctors and just this one guy™. There's a veterinarian, a dentist, an entomologist (who has a doctorate and thus insists upon being referred to as a doctor, thank you very much), a retired nutritionist, and two plastic surgeons (one of them got their license revoked for medical malpractice but both of them always insist that it's the other doctor; all of the other doctors are slightly unnerved by them), and finally you just have this one guy who is the physical personification of the name "Steve". He is incredibly strong for no reason other than that he was a stripper before the apocalypse hit. Thank you for coming to my TED talk-

Maybe not quite as unsettling/unknown a fact, but everyone gets ship of Theseus'd every (roughly) seven-to-ten years.

hello tiny friends i keep in my pocket. tell me something I will find humorous but vaguely annoying

So I found the part of Tumblr where people absolutely ravage you mind and body with nothing but words on a screen and I may be emotionally stunted but even I know what holding back tears is like

Ghost just teased the crap out of us. Put up the billboard and laughed when the video dropped. The Ghouls and Ghulehs are cackling. Papa V must be very SHY and DEMURE remove your hands sir I beg of you

This week's Biological hot take:

The platypus is a remenant of a previous nuclear fallout.

Do you think that any politician had a Tumblr before they agreed to become one with the monopoly man and someone found it

"Hey, Mr. Politician, didn't you post about fanfic sex back in 2014 under the Moniker 'YourWaifusuc-"

*Muffled gunshots*

THIS

The "Did you know? Rome Colosseum carved into teeth" factoid is funny and currently living in my head rent free

Every time I go to do a silly little shitpost I stop and go hmm. Will this expose my inner psyche? Then I simply do not hit post(tm).

amateur detective who solves crimes out of curiosity and then just. doesn't bother to tell anyone the identity of the perpetrator