Uhm?? Sign Me Up! I Love Thiss

Important Things My Friends Have Said To Me:

- "No, it's not okay. I can tell you're upset. I'm here if you want to talk."

- "I can't help you if you don't want to help yourself."

- "Trust me. I'm not going to hurt you. I promise."

- "You are too amazing for us to forget. We'd be stupid if we forgot you."

- "Don't worry. I'll protect you."

- "I wilL PUNCH YOU WITH FRIENDSHIP IF YOU DON'T STOP TALKING BAD ABOUT YOURSELF."

- "Don't worry! I'm smiling, and you should too. :D"

- "You should've told me. I'm here for you. I'm always here for you."

- "They love you, I love you. Please, accept our love."

I have such wholesome and great friends. What did I do to deserve them?

"She's going to sit alone. Right at that same table where she built it all. Her happiness, her courage, her perseverance, but most importantly, where she met all of her friends. Now it's all crumbling down to her fingertips. She closes her eyes and tries to dream herself away into a reality where all of that still exsists, but she can't. It's all blank without the real thing... Without the real them. Complete nothingness. She can't even remember their voices. Everything is fading away from her. And everytime, she blames herself for something that she couldn't control. They've all left now; her friends. The girl lifts her head and stares at them. They're all happy. They all prance around, discussing random topics she used to talk about with them all of the time. She even sees her crush holding hands with her best friend. They don't even notice her. All of them go sit at their new table, completely forgetting about what once was. She weakly smiled as tears fell down her cheeks. Her heart ached for them. For someone. But she had no one. She put her head back down and waited for an escape. She pulled her sketchbook and poetry journal closer to her. They may only be objects, but they are all she has now. She pours her heart out crying. She couldn't hold it in any longer. Her fears were reality, and she somehow had to stay strong in this. But how could she stay strong when she wasn't going to be remembered by any of them? Was it all pointless to make memories in the first place? She just wanted to disappear. She then heard whispers all around her. It sounded like her friends, but that couldn't be. She lifted her head up and rubbed her eyes. A boy with a pretend smile and a sympathetic gaze pulled me into a hug.

"You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay. I promise."

She cried into his chest until they all gathered around her and tackled her into a group hug.

Her friends.

They were here.

"I'm sorry for the mess I've created," She shyly whispered, "haven't you forgotten me, yet? I would've."

"How could we forget about you?" A raven haired boy asked, "We've been right here the whole time."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Vent

(I just... Sobbed while writing this.)

Things I Needed To Hear But Never Did:

- You are enough. No matter what, you are enough.

- It's okay to not be okay.

- Never stay in toxic relationships. Run away as far as you can from them.

- People break your heart. And it's okay. And it's okay to feel like you will never live again. You'll survive. I promise.

- You deserve the love you give others too.

- You deserve to be protected.

- It's okay to be vulnerable.

- Opening up to others is beneficial. Not every person will be as untrustful as the first. You can trust some.

- You deserve love. You deserve affection. You deserve a personal connection.

- Someone misses you somewhere.

- You don't have to be perfect. Perfection isn't the key to everything.

- Apologies may fix it in words, but actions are what really matter.

- Love yourself before you try and love anyone else.

- They're not staring at you. They don't hate you. Breathe. It's okay. You're okay. Everything is okay. No need to panic.

@glugenash @razberrypuck @starlove101

Reblog and tag someone to let them know you’re always thinking about them 🌙

"I told you I loved you 500 times. I proved it too. Over and over, every little action, I made sure it counted. It took everything out of my heart. I poured it out for you, and then I waited for you to pour yours out for me.

Then you said it.

Those three words.

Right back to me.

I swear I blacked out, but I remember it crystal clear.

As time went by, I saw you with the others. How your smile was brighter, your laugh louder, you genuinely loved everyone and everything. But with me? It all toned down. I shifted you. It felt like you shut me out. But then I realized it. Whether it was you ignoring me or avoiding me, I got the message. And then I felt it. The storm. I cried for weeks. You never noticed.

I loved you.

You said you loved me.

You

Liar. "

- Dreaming of Wolves // Liar

"How am I supposed to say I miss you and I love you when you ruined my life? How am I supposed to morn you when you were my monster, controlling me like a puppet that I wasn't. I'm free, and yet here I am, still confused. Are you family or a foe? Am I supposed to miss you or forget you? Am I even supposed to have these thoughts?"

- Dreaming of Wolves//Dark 3AM Thoughts

I find this a little too personal-

Google your name, favorite color, and the word aesthetic

Pick 4 images you like and you have yourself a moodboard 💖

I was tagged by @romanticize-and-decay tysm I loved this!

Im tagging @teamjacobthot @witchyangela and @howlonghaveyoubeenseventeen

Fun Facts About Me (Part Two):

- I fall for the shy and quiet nerds >:D watch out

- I also fall for the funny extroverts

- My favorite Pokémon is Ninetales

- I once ate a dandelion

- I once jumped down a whole flight of stairs

- Scaring me is incredibly easy if I trust you

- If I don't, I already expect it so beWARE

- Animals are drawn to me for some reason?

- I'm bad at convos

- I say 'y'all' when referencing people at my school

- I will say "I hate you" to your face if I mean it

- I have no regrets

- My family is actually super poor

- My house is always a mess except my room

- I am the only introvert surronded by extroverts in my family.

"Don't cry," He whispered to the broken girl beside him on the ground, "you have me."

The girl choked on her own tears. Blood splattered on the dusty dirt ground below them. It was only them left.

"Now... Now the war is over," She wiped her tears away, "when my friends are all dead. And I'm still here."

- Dreaming of Wolves//Story Excerpt

An open letter to future me:

Alright. Here we go. I'm a bit nervous to write this, because if I know myself right now, you are just waiting to read this and cringe at it. I'm sorry. I hope you aren't mad at me.

First of all, self, I know right now I have absolutely no hope and no self esteem for any bright future, but I have a feeling, a singular feeling, that you're going to go far. Maybe not me, but you. I hope you remember me, though. It's okay if you leave me behind. Change is necessary, but don't forget what was once here. Never let me fade away from your mind. Let me strengthen you. And let me remind you to heal and comfort the shattered child inside of you. She needs you. Her fight with her demons is slowly failing. She needs you to protect you. I need you to protect me. I need you to protect yourself. Draw your sword, your bow, and call upon your heart and please - come save us.

Save yourself. But save everyone else too. Save everyone you can. You might not be able to save everyone, and that's okay, but you tried. You tried. You tried so hard. I know. And it's okay. Breathe. It's okay. You tried.

Saving other people has been such a big fear and big strength of yours. I think you knew that you'd never be able to save yourself, so you tried to save everyone else, and when you couldn't, you blamed yourself. You must try to save yourself before you can try to save anyone. Trust me. You are still worth saving. You still can be saved. I promise.

This war within yourself, it has yet to be completed. There has to be a white flag somewhere, right? There has to be peace somewhere. Every war has an ending. Don't give up. The war will be over soon. I give my heart and hope to you. I give you my swords, but I hope you find a way to put your demons to rest without violence. Your demons will transform into something more beautiful. You only have to learn how to heal them too, as you are healing yourself. Your scars may stay the way they came, but they are not a reminder of your present or future. They will heal emotionally, not physically. They are your reminder that you are a warrior; a fighter. You can get through this. You got through that, this is no different. You are not your scars. You are not your past. You can do anything you dream of. Pull yourself together, kiddo. Paint a smile, a true one. You got this.

Your friends? They are your everything. But - you are my everything too. The love you show everyone else? I equally feel that for you and more. I love you. So, so much. I am so proud of you. You deserve every great thing in this world. You may be a mess, but your my mess, and I promise you, this mess is a painting. Some just need to look closer. Don't you dare care what anyone else thinks about you. You are a pretty awesome person. A pretty darn great one. You are trying to be a better person everyday, and that is what counts. You try to be better - you try to change for the better everyday. I love you for that. You may not be perfect, and that is okay. I'm not going to tell you to stop reaching for perfection, but don't be hard on yourself. You are getting better everyday. I am so proud of you. I'm proud. I'm proud. I'm proud. Screw the others who never told you that. Screw the others who never loved you. Screw them. I love you. And I frickin care about you. So much. I miss you, too. In every way.

You are worth it. You are loved. You are so much more than you think you are. You are so strong. And to those who said you could never, prove them wrong. Prove them all wrong. I promise you, you will do everything you want. You have time to become the person you want to be. You have time. Change is scary, believe me, we used to fear it, but change is so good and so necessary. Embrace it. Embrace this world everytime you get. Embrace my words. When no one else loves you, I'll be here. I'll always love you, because I know deep down, even if you hate me, I know you still love me. That's why we're alive. We're giving each other chances. That's what is important. This life is worth living. This game is worth playing. Remember me. Remember this letter. Remember my words. They will stick.

Your friends are so important to you, but I want you to know that everything you have said to them, I say back to you. Look in the mirror and smile, my friend. Please. Do it for me. Because whoever looks back at you is enough. Look down at your hands. You are enough. Through every broken crack, you are enough. Let the light overtake you. Let the happiness seep in a illuminate your whole. I give you what is mine, take my heart, my soul, carefully heal yourself with your needle. Stitch yourself back together. Unfold your wings. It's time to soar. And it's time to let go.

Take care of our friends for me, okay? Tell them I love them. And I miss them. Tell them those words everyday. Spend time with them. Forgive people who wrong you and defend what you believe is right. Regret nothing. Absolutely nothing. Live your life the way you want to, not the way they pressure you to.

I hope you've gotten out of your bad situation. I hope you don't turn back. I hope you've gotten into that one relationship you were dying for. I hope you love that person with your whole heart. I hope they are your soulmate. I hope that they give you the love that you deserve. I hope you heal everyone you come in contact with. I hope you give them everything you hav, but leave love for yourself. I hope you talk about your problems and start a much needed conversation. I hope you meet those artist and poet people that you've been dying to have conversations with. I hope you have deep conversations at midnight. I hope your friends come and visit you. I hope you can have those really cool sleepovers at your own house. I hope you get your dream house. I hope you become everything you want to be.

I hope you make so many memories that you are overfilled with joy.

I hope you give yourself everything you deserve.

To all of the heartbreaks and to all of the scars we still have. To past me, present me, and future me, and to the friends who have shaped us,

Future self, you are doing great. I love you.

- Past me