I Made A Little Guy

i feel like i don’t fit any depictions of women i see

and i don’t fit any depictions of trans women i see

and both of those are defined so heavily as groups by suffering they experience

but because i just look like a cis guy to basically everyone who would be inclined to be shitty i just don’t get those

and this along with some other things makes me think i should put more effort into presenting feminine

but is it worth it to change how i present myself just to be seen by random people in the way i want

i like my more masculine presentation

but it makes it harder for me to be seen as a woman

and maybe that’s mostly for me

or maybe i just have some things to get over

but i don’t feel very visible

i was going to write today

in other news i found a really fun way to play monster hunter

i should get custom printed card sleeves that say “my pronouns are she/her” on them so people stop misgendering me at magic the gathering events

i keep just inexplicably feeling like shit late in the evening

there usually isn’t an event or a thought process that happens, i just start feeling like shit

it kinda sucks

I’m having difficulty figuring out something interesting for the fourth character in my story

the other three all have basically their original backgrounds but I’ve pretty much completely thrown out this character‘s original backstory and now i’m having trouble with a new one

I was thinking of having her be the “normal” one since the other three have such wild backgrounds but I don’t think the other characters allow that to work in a way that is interesting or adds to the others

I had nothing to do in one of my design classes last week, so I did a drawing of fatalis

it was fresh in my mind bc i had just finished alatreon the day before

writing is such a rollercoaster if an activity

i feel like i’m doing well

and then 15 minutes later i feel like my writing sucks ass

i need to keep reminding myself that revisions exist and that i’m working on outlines right now

i’m starting to think i have objectively bad taste in how things look

Not to be incredibly vulgar and nasty or anything, but I’d like to close my eyes and rest my head in somebody’s lap while they run their fingers through my hair

my favourite area :]