Yeah sounds about right
One day Tim’s out in casual clothes just roaming because Alfred said he needed to spend time in the sun (Jason said his sickly Victorian child was showing which is what actually got him outside).
Anyway he’s minding his business, bored out of his mind, when an alert about the riddler goes out. He escaped Arkham and Tim is like “I’ve got nothing better to do,” So he tracks him down. Except he tracks him down as Tim Drake, not Red Robin because he was told to get sunlight as Tim.
Kid basically knocks on the door the Riddler’s hideout like “I’m bored and I’m pretty sure I can out riddle you.” And the Riddler isn’t gonna take that challenge sitting down.
He doesn’t even have a plan set up yet. Just drags Tim in like “guess I’ll use this kid as bait he is influential.” And the entire time he’s setting up his elaborate trap he’s shooting riddles back and forth with Tim. Ten minutes in he’s given up on the trap because Tim is not only keeping up but is also dishing out stellar riddles. Riddler’s not about to risk killing one of the few people in Gotham that are actually entertaining.
By this point the Bat’s “Tim Radar” Has gone off. They haven’t heard from him and he hasn’t checked in for the Riddler Breakout. So they track him and they find him sitting in Riddler’s hideout with a mug of coffee playing the equivalent of four dimensional chess but it’s the game Clue.
It ends with the Riddler being willing to go back to Arkham so long has he has regularly scheduled enrichment time with Tim.
Tim’s content with that. Honestly he had a lot of fun.
Bruce is exhausted.
Dick 9 times out of 10 failing to hide a severe injury from the rest of the batfam because without fail when he’s tired or drugged or generally not firing on all cylinders his native accent comes out as thick as the day he met Bruce.
- - -
Bruce: Dick come down for a check up I saw you take that hit for Tim.
Dick, halfway towards the cave exit and still going, in the quietest voice possible: im fine
Bruce: Say squirrel and you can leave.
Dick:
Bruce:
Jason:
Tim:
Damien:
Dick: …skweeerrehl.
Jason: Get him boys.
I understand that in canon Tim did NOT ever ask to be Robin, he saw what happened to the last guy. I understand that Alfred basically dropped the uniform on him and said "Go, my child, be free!" AND I understand that Dick was basically like "Yeah, this works."
But I feel like a more accurate description of what happened is... Like...
Dick, holding Tim up by the scruff: If not Robin, why Robin shaped?
Tim, making chicken and dumpling soup, dropping a dumpling on the floor: This is sadder than the time I lost my spleen.
Bruce, choking on his coffee: Excuse me?
At Wayne mannor
Alfred: Morning everyone I have an announcement.
Bruce: Everything alright Alfred?
Alfred: Yes, I have invited the Kents to dinner in two days time.
Bruce: What...
Alfred: I expect everyone to be on their best behavior.
Tim: When you say the Kents who do you mean?
Alfred: All of them, Jonathan, Martha, Clark, Lois, Kon, Jon, Kara, Otho, and Osul.
Cassandra: How many people will be in attendance.
Alfred: 24 people in total. For our part everyone WILL attend, no excuses. That means myself, Bruce, Dick, Jason, Danny, Tim, Duke, Stephane, Barbara, Harper, Cassandra, Luke, Kate, and Damian.
Jason: This is going to be fun.
Damian: I bet $20 the house burns down by the end of the night.
Danny: I'll take you up on that.
Meanwhile at the Kent farm
Martha: Morning everyone, last night I was talking with Alfred and we've been invited to dinner at the Waynes in two days. We will all be going, no buts.
Jonathan: We expect everyone to behave.
Kon: At least one person will end up in the hospital.
Kara: I think it'll be fun.
Clark: It'll be fun to see Bruce, it's been a while since we've seen each other as civilians.
Martha: Good, now let's enjoy breakfast, there are chores to be done, and they're not going to do themselves.
Part: 13, (all parts)
"everyone's special" my ass
kacchan is so obviously his favourite like bffr
i have receipts dont test me
Billy: *reloads gun* The gods and Captain Marvel will forgive, but I will not.
Flash: WHO GAVE THIS FUCKING KID A GUN?!?
Jason: Go ahead, kid! Shoot them in the knees!!
Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.
Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?
Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.
Jason: What?
Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.
Jason: What the fuck.
Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.
Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.
Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.
Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.
Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.
Jason, turns another page.
“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!
Bruce: You are grounded!
Jason (whole adult): You can't ground me!
Bruce: Grounded!
Jason: But I don't even live here!
Bruce turns Jason around and points to the stairs to his old room.
Bruce: The night, your room. Grounded!
Jason: This some bullshit!
Jason stomps upstairs and heads to his old room. A door slam is heard and then the sounds of random items being tossed around.
Bruce: He'll work it out his system. I'm going to bed.
Dick (looking at Tim confused and then Bruce as the man heads upstairs): Did you just ground a 23 year old?
Tim: And did it work?
Bruce: You forget I'm Batman.