GET AWAY FROM ME FLESH HAT MAN

THE SHIT (GOLD) YOU FIND IN THE OCEAN (YOUTUBE COMMENT’S SECTION)

"everyone's special" my ass

kacchan is so obviously his favourite like bffr

i have receipts dont test me

This is how this would happen, Jason especially

Tim accidently referring to the Joker as Dad but those who know about Joker Jr aren’t present and so everyone is left with the ‘realisation’ that Tim is the son of the biggest nightmare to their family.

It’s probably Jason and Steph, her there to bother Tim but Jason went to the manor for food and the two naturally started arguing. Maybe Jason tells Tim to stop costing on his case and prove a point be made against blonde, but Tim just offhandedly goes, “Later, I think my dad broke out of Arkham again but the guards aren’t doing anything. Maybe they’re in on it…”

The two present naturally look at each other with confusion and for the first time stop bickering to peak over his shoulder and see what his case is because, holy shit Tim had a villain for a dad and didn’t tell us? Only to see numerous photos of the Joker in his cell and many reports over the last week of how he’s been behaving and Jason…

Steph pushes the man out of the room when she sees his face go from frozen fear to anger, thinking it’s towards Tim and his secrecy and, while she totally gets that, now isn’t the time.

Though when they get into the Jason starts a rant about how Bruce and Dick should have told him that the monster had a child, even if that child wasn’t Tim! Jason protects kids! Did they think he’d hurt him just because of who his father is?

No!

If anything, he’d become the kids full time body guard to stop that mad man from making Tim into another version of himself!

The two naturally go to tell the others, pulling Damian, Cass and Duke into a mostly unused room and telling them what they discovered, all while Tim stays in the library working on his case.

Cass is beyond worried but also confused because he doesn’t seem to have any physical characteristics of the Joker or Harley, but maybe the mother is different? Perhaps it’s still Janet and either she had a fling with the Joker or something far worse, which makes the young girl enraged on the woman’s behalf.

Damian makes a comment about him killing Tim, not in a serious manner but more as an option, but Duke shuts it down, saying that having a villain for a parent doesn’t mean anything about who you will be. He points out those in the family of that nature and other heroes like Superboy.

When asked why they didn’t get Dick or Babs involved, Jason says they defiantly know and lied about it.

It’s only after another three hours of working that Tim catches himself referring to the Joker as dad and shuts his laptop, making his way to Bruce’s room to hide under the older man’s bed like he usually does when that happens, only to overhear what his siblings are saying.

Tim presses his ear against the door to hear better.

“If that maniac had a kid, surely he’d have told everyone he had an heir or something.” That’s Steph’s voice, filled with worry that only he and Cass could detect as she hides it under a whiney tone.

Jason is next to respond, “maybe he doesn’t know? I mean, did Tim ever even interacted with him before he became Robin?”

It doesn’t take much more than that for Tim to realise that he must have been talking aloud again or absently answered someone earlier and misspoke in front of them.

Panic fills him as he avoids telling Bruce when he gets bad, even if it’s just a small thing, because the older man will start of being a concerned parent then go into Batman mode and only just stop himself from putting Tim in the confinement cell. Sure Tim came up with the idea of the cell so he wouldn’t hurt anyone if his conditioning got too bad, but he’s learnt the signs. He’s not a mindless drone, he still knows who he is and doesn’t hear someone talking to him or anything like that.

He just… sometimes forgets the Joker hurt him.

It’s not Tim’s fault that memories of watching TV with him and Harley, tucked between them with a big bowl of ice cream felt better than most memories of his real parents.

But he knows it’s wrong, always comes back to calling the Joker his enemy.

Bruce just doesn’t get that.

Tim hears them talk a bit more, theories about who his mother might be, if Tim is safe at the manor, if Joker knows he has a son…

Opening the door, Tim stands there and stares at them as all eyes snap to him in alarm.

He doesn’t let anybody speak, cutting them all off quickly, “He’s not my dad. Go the cave and search for file number 26557933301-JJ and put in the code AGELAST, all caps.”

With that he turns and leaves, walking at first before running to Bruce’s room to hide.

He goes to family dinner and pretends not to notice the quietness or how Jason is still there, eating his food quietly and waiting for the ball to drop.

Naturally, Damian is the one to say what he wants first, “So why is okay that Tim shot the joker but I got in trouble for stabbing Bane?”

Everyone groans.

Who tf is cutting onions?

Tim calls a family meeting and everyone is assuming he’s got a big case he needs help with, which is alarming for someone who refuses to admit that some cases are beyond him.

So, everyone shows up at the cave only to be ordered upstairs by Alfred. For those who only showed up to make fun of Tim for needing help, this is confusing because case work ain’t allowed upstairs.

All do them figure out quickly that this means it’s not to do with Gotham or Ref Robin, but the man behind the mask.

Bruce and Dick were there first and because Damian is always with one of them, so is he.

Steph picks up Barbara and Cass, with Duke already at home and Jason showing up at the same time as Kate and Lucius.

When they all get into the lounge room used for when people are over, just two doors down from the actual family room, they all find themselves chatting casually as they stave off their own worries or confusion. Some of them try find out if anyone knows what’s going on, but when Alfred and Barbara reveal they have no idea, they give up and make a few guesses but no more.

When Tim finally comes in after Alfred received him, he looks tired.

It’s not usual for Tim to get distracted with work and not sleep for a while, but he will conk out for hours when he decides to and wake up alright.

The bags under his eyes, the redness within them, and the way he looks close to tucking himself into a ball…

Bruce is immediately leaning forward, opening his mouth to make sure his son is okay but Tim just raised a hand to silence him. “Just… just let me speak, okay? I need to do it now or I’m not going to be able to.”

Everyone gives him a nod or look of understanding, making him twitch a smile before inhaling deeply and psyching himself up.

“I have cancer.”

…

Nobody speaks as Tim exhales shakily.

Everyone is staring wide eyed at the young man before them, who just reached the legal drinking age, and trying to asses his physical form for an understanding of what he just said. They’re all trying to gain X-ray vision to see exactly what is hurting him all while trying to convince themselves they heard him wrong.

Tim closes his eyes and speaks automatically, leaning into facts like he always does when he’s freaking out, “I noticed I was getting by more tired and fatigued around last year. My doctor said I have a low white cell count but he wasn’t alarmed as it was still in the normal range. But a few months ago I started to note that bruises were taking far too long to heal and I was getting a lot of pain around my joints and bones.”

He inhaled again, shakier than before at the same time that Alfred sits himself down with a hand over his mouth.

“It’s stage 2 and because of my lack of a spleen it’s going to be a harder process for treatment but fortunately I own a medical company so there’s that at least.” He makes a sort of joking smile that falters immediately, falling into a pulled back frown that comes with someone whose about to sob as he adds, “But it’s also aggressive so I-I don’t know how-how to-fuck-“

Dick and Cass are immediately moving off the couches they are on and catch him as he finally crumbles into himself.

Bruce is next to follow, the stoic man openly crying for the first time in years.

Jason and Damian are in shock, both frozen in place as dread takes over their minds.

Steph is looking out the window, as if staring at some kind of his or deity and demanding an expiration as to why they have to hurt her loved ones so badly. She’s crying, but it’s silent which is all the more harrowing.

Lucius places a hand on Alfred’s shoulder to comfort the elder even as he himself itches to go comfort the young boy who helped him run the company when he was at his worst.

Kate leaves the room to go call Bette, needing her mentor because this is just something she can’t handle.

Duke is sobbing into his hands as he leans into Barbara’s lap. Barbara who is clinging to him like a lifeline as she feels her world shift once again, feeling so angry and confused at how one of them could be threatened like this. Of all the ways they could go out, was it really going to be cancer?

It was a harrowing experience for all of them to remember that they were human in more than just their flesh being able to bleed and be wounded, but for it to grow sick. For it to age and attack itself.

They were human at the end of the day and Tim…

In Metropolis, Clark Kent rushed into the bathroom at his work to throw up as he heard a conversation miles away.

The Shadow Of Mount Rainier Causing A Gap In The Sunset.

Imagine the absolute horror Jason would feel upon finding out Tim had spent THREE weeks with the Joker. Jason was with him for less than 24 hours, and bro is traumatised for life. He can only imagine what it was like for Tim in those weeks alone with the Joker.

Plus, the guilt that Jason would feel because of how he treated Tim in the beginning.

Never mind what he would say to Bruce. Jason was mad after the Joker killed him, and he thought that Batman would have killed the Joker for him. He forgave him because he thought it was one time, but two Robins, two sons? That is unacceptable. He would have torn Bruce a new one.

Ok so I have this hc that I want other ppl besides me to see, and if anybody wanted to turn this into a fic; I would be yours because I can’t write for shit

(This also might trigger some people so please proceed with caution.)

(TW: SA )

…

Anyway, I’ve always liked the idea of Bruce protecting his kids as Bruce Wayne, so hear me out.

The batfam are at a gala minus Alfred because I see it being someone else’s gala that they have to attend. The POV would start with Tim and jump to Bruce later but I digress..

So Tim is forever 17 and has just come out as Bi and this is the first gala that he attends after that and some grown man comes up to him and starts hitting on him. The man is being very inappropriate with the things he’s saying and the way he’s touching Tim

And even though Tim is Red Robin; he freezes because he’s also Tim Drake and those ideologies are still ingrained into him to not make a scene. He’s extremely uncomfortable trying to get the man to leave him alone and telling him no.

But the man is not backing down continuing to say things like “ You’re bi, so I know you want it.”, “Don’t be shy. It can be just between you and me” and crowding his space.

And Tim is trying to find a way out. Darting his eyes around looking for his siblings but can’t seem to find them.

As he’s looking around, the man starts walking him back towards the hall. Hands trailing down his stomach getting closer to his inner thigh and he forcibly kisses him. Awareness of what this man is trying to do becomes completely apparent. He tries to push the man away but his body isn’t cooperating with him.

He’s scared.

But then he turns his head and see’s Bruce making his way over to him with the deadliest look he’s ever seen him have on his face but he’s grateful because that’s his dad.. not Brucie, but Bruce, his dad is coming to get him out of this situation.

Then it switches to Bruce’s POV

It starts with Bruce in the middle of the gala crowd talking it up as Brucie Wyane and he decides to look around just to check on his kids

He glances over at Dick and Damien together by the food table

Jason and Steph look like their about to do something they shouldn’t

Dukes talking to another attendant of the gala

Cass is beside him but he’s missing one..

He can’t find Tim..

Alarm bells start ringing in his head and he starts to look for Tim more obviously, turning his head left and right. Cass picking up on his distress but not knowing why

Bruce turns his whole body to the back of the gala room and that’s where he finds Tim being crowded by a member of the gala. His immediate instinct is to go to him but stops himself because he’s trying to learn how to give his kids more freedom, and he knows Tim can handle himself. So he stops for a second and takes in the situation.

But the longer he looks he sees that Tim, his son, is completely frozen. A look on his face that says he needs help but can’t get out the words to ask for it. His eyes are darting around frantically like he’s looking for someone. As he’s about to take a step to go help Tim he freezes because the man is walking him back towards the hall way with his hands inching further and further down his stomach dangerously close to places his hands don’t need to be and forcibly kisses him.

He sees Tim squirming trying to push the man away.

and Bruce realizes this man’s intentions.

Tim, his son, is about to be assaulted. The same thing that happened to himself that he couldn’t get out of.. is about to happen to Tim. And he sees the moment Tim recognizes it to in his eyes.

Bruce wastes no more time, he completely ignores the people he was once in a conversation with as they ask him where he’s going. He’s walking quickly towards his son when they make eye contact, he sees the relief wash over his body.

He reaches the man and grabs him. The man turns his head looking like he’s about to say something but blanches from seeing who it is. He doesn’t get a chance to say anything because as soon as he faces Bruce, He gets punched so hard he falls over. The rest of the gala has frozen because Brucie Wyane is punching some random man for seemingly no reason.

And Bruce keeps going, because for once he was there in time to protect one of his kids. The rest of the batfam comes over trying to forcibly pull Bruce off the man. None of them knowing why Bruce started punching the man but knowing one thing..

There is a reason.

When they finally get Bruce off the man. Bruce instantly turns to Tim hugging his son, holding him. Tim is in shock as Bruce keeps asking him if he’s alright. Tim not responding but looks directly into Bruce’s eyes. The man’s blood on Bruce’s knuckles. The complete look of worry written on Bruce’s face as he holds Tim’s in his hands.

And Tim just.. sinks into his arms and holds on so tight to Bruce because his fathers here. His father saved him. He’s okay, He’ll be okay.

The police get called and the man is taken away and they all go home early. That night though, Bruce goes to Tim’s room to check up on him and talk.

He makes sure Tim is okay and finds Tim blaming himself for not being able to get away.

“I’m Red Robin! I have fought worse people than him and won. But all that was going through my head at the time was Jack and Janet “Don’t make a scene” and I froze. I couldn’t get away, I tried but my body wouldn’t listen. I wanted to call out but my voice closed up and I was looking around to- ”

Bruce interrupts him

“ It’s not your fault, you did what you could. This is not your fault Tim, It’s his fault for forcing himself on you. I’ve been there, I know how you feel. it’ll be okay. I promise, I’m right here.”

Tim looks at Bruce because he didn’t know that

“You’ve been.. who?”

Bruce just looks at him. He’s doesn’t need to say anything because he knows Tim will understand anyway. He’s smart like that.

“oh.. Does that mean- ”

Bruce cuts him off again

“Yes, but it was a long time ago, you don’t need to know because I’m okay now. And I want you to know I understand. But can we just keep this between us? No one else needs to know about that, especially Damien.”

“Yea B. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Me too, but at least I got Damien from it, and I love him just as much as I love you. You are both my children and I would do anything to try to protect you.”

“Thanks B.” He leans in to hug Bruce and they just hold onto each other for a little longer.

“I’ll let you go to sleep chum. Good night Tim” he says as he kisses Tim’s head and ruffles his hair. He heads to the door and turns to look back at Tim

“Goodnight dad.” He says with a small smile

Bruce freezes for a second and sighs with a slight smile on his face. He looks at Tim one last time for the night with all his love for him shining in his eyes and closes the door to go to his room.

By the end of there talk Tim and Bruce are closer than ever because he not only learned something new about Bruce. He now feels more secure in his place in the manor, in the family, as Bruce’s son.



Okay, but, the GCPD and the Batfamily having a dysfunctional working relationship would be hilarious. Like, the cops know they need the Bats to help keep Gotham’s streets clean, but man, they are fucking troublemakers.

Take Dick, for example. He’s already naturally at home in a police station, so he’ll regularly waltz into GCPD headquarters to give pointers on cases, act as a translator, and will occasionally bring donuts for the night officers. But he’s also been trying to get them to unionize since 2009 and will also unabashedly steal things from the evidence locker. (He always returns it, usually with the adjacent case completed, but it’s a lot of red tape and that’s very annoying.) He also fucks up the coffee machine every time he uses it.

As for Jason… On one hand he is excellent at tracking down perps that have escaped custody or gone to ground. It’s not uncommon for him to pull up with a van full of criminals on the wanted list, which is great… expect for the fact that Jason is also on the wanted list. So whenever he shows up the GCPD cops have to put in effort (minimal as it may be) to try and “capture” the Red Hood so that they don’t get audited by Homeland Security. So now like once a month they have to chase the Red Hood across Gotham proper, because he handed the Penguin into their custody or something, and they have to look good for their bosses—it’s a waste of resources and really fucking annoying, but, hey, they got the Penguin?

Surprisingly, Tim and Stephanie are the most frequent visitors of the GCPD—and they are also the most dreaded. Because Tim is a plucky little know-it-all, but also he can and will update their entire database in a single night and will, at random, solve a cold case they’ve been sitting on for 20 years. The problem is that he’s just fucking annoying about it, and every other week he’ll break into the vending machine to steal the energy drinks—that shit is impossible to get replaced. And Steph? She’ll talk the ears off the night shift and get everyone off task, because they’re busy gossiping about the accounting department in the Manor’s office and planning a prank war on the fire department.

You would think Cassandra would be everyone’s favorite because she’s quiet and much less destructive then her siblings, but you’d be wrong—Cassandra is an absolute menace and the night shift workers have spent years trying to prove it. She will sneak up behind people, leave random pebbles in people’s shoes, and will put googly eyes on anything she touches. The day shift thinks the night officers need to chill because, “isn’t she the chill one?” (No. No she is not. None of the Bats are chill.)

And then there’s Damian. As Robin, the closest he usually gets to the GCPD is through Batman, via his consultations with Commissioner Gordon. But on the rare occasions he’s permitted inside the GCPD, he is dotted on extensively by the officers. He’s deadly and abrasive but they love him. They give him candy and head pats and let him use the sketch-artist supplies to do drawings, which they religiously pin to the break room refrigerator. Damian will pretend to despise this despite the fact that he so clearly loves it.

Lastly, there’s Duke. As the only day shifter, he’s widely considered to be the most well adjusted and relatable Bat. Half a year into his tenure as Signal, he’s on a first name basis with half the GCPD, has his own locker and fridge space for his lunchbox, a coffee mug with his logo on it is kept in the break room, and he’s already been nominated for Employee of the Year despite the fact that he does not actually work for the GCPD. The night shift refuses to accept that he is real.

An eight year old Bruce Wayne summons Danny (who is 14 at the time, mind you) in the Wayne family manors attic.

Danny: please don't be a cultist please don't be a cultist please don't be a-

Danny:

Danny: That's a child. Why is there a child?

Bruce who honestly didn't expect his great great great great nth grandparents weird ass spellbook bullshit to work: [squinting at Danny in scrutiny] I thought the King of the Dead would be…taller.

Danny: Oh great and now I'm being insulted by a six year old. It's like Young Blood all over again, just more posh. And alive.

Dick being a happy older brother…