I Kinda Really Want A De-aged Au Where Jason “No More Dead Robins” Todd has To Deal With All His

Love this idea

Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.

But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.

None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?

And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.

Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.

A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.

OH GOD IT GOT WORSE IT GOT SO MUCH WORSE

The Wizard has seen your Tubi streaming future and it’s fantastic.

Iconic Brucie Wayne Lines:

“It’s good luck to spill a little with martinis.” — said right before spilling his entire cosmo in Lex Luthor’s lap

“Can I take this for my son?” — said about anything, including crime scene evidence, but said so charmingly that 80% of people just let him take whatever he’s holding

“Sorry I’m on the Bluetooth.” — said while gesturing to an ear that definitely does not have an earpiece, usually mid-conversation at a party

“No yeah, they get walks every day.” — said about his kids, no one can ever 100% tell if he’s joking

jason, watching tim cook: okay so he got the cookies

jason: grinding them okay, so like, cookie dough - oh adding milk, flour- okay, okay

jason: pancakes. cool, cookie panc- why are you baking them,

jason: WHY IS HE GRINDNING THEM UP AGAI- milk, flour- WHAT

jason: bro? whyd you

jason: whyd you do that??? why did you. make a pancake and made a pancake from a pan- waht??

jason: why did you square root a pancake???

Someone mildly inconveniences Tim and his phone immediately dings twice

Jason, 2:34PM: yo do you want me to kill them

Ra’s, 2:34PM: What manner of dispatch would you prefer for your foe?

Honestly this lines up with how my associates describe their interactions with Dren. They always talk about how he insists they are his assistants yet he makes them do all the work and doesn't help. I could tell you a few of the highlights of situations they may or may not have intentionally left him in. My favorite story was by far the bottle.

Chancellor,

Following up on my last ask, what do you think of Narsis Dren. Like I mentioned, every single one of my associates who has encountered him despises him. And from what I have heard his ego is bigger then Mannimarco's and possibly rivals that of Molag Bal (Also disregard any reports you have been getting of a Khajiit with glowing eyes, the less you ask about that particular matter the better)

I had, in fact, met Narsis Dren.

"I am an explorer of incomparable renown, the greatest delver into the most dangerous ruins of the past that had ever been!" he said.

Which was all nice, but that particular Ayleid ruin was on a private property of the Tharn estate and has for centuries served as our wine cellar with some extra security measures.

We didn't talk much that time, he gave me such a headache that I ventured into the "foreboding den of promising riches" myself, and when I emerged later with some liquid will to bother with nitwits, he was gone.

I ran into him years later in Reaper's March while I was gathering more information about Knhunzar'ri. He insisted that I could be his "assistant" while he searched the archive for... I don't know what exactly, and honestly I didn't care. The last I saw him, he was trying to get the Pendant of Lunar Flight off while he was hovering under the ceiling. I noticed only because he stopped getting under my feet for three minutes.

Jason visiting and babysitting toddler Damian (5 years old)

Jason entered the palace just as Damian was playing with blocks. When the toddler spotted his big brother, his face lit up.

Toddler Damian (jumping to his feet): Akh Jason! You're back!

Damian ran with his little legs, and Jason couldn't help but smile at the sight. Talia didn't have enough time to stop him as the little boy spread his arms wide, eager for a hug.

Toddler Damian (running towards Jason): Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Lift me!

Damian bounced up and down, waiting to be picked up. Talia and Ra's watched from a distance—Ra's with a look of disgust, while Talia simpered and sniffled with a smile at how cute her precious tifl was.

Jason: Magic word.

Damian (in a high-pitched voice): Please!

Talia (shaking her father): He said please! So precious!

Ra's (stepping away): Stop shaking me!

Jason placed his hands on his hips and chuckled before lifting Damian into the air, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Damian (eagerly): Hi, did you miss me? Did you miss me?!

Jason (lying): Hm... No.

Despite Jason's teasing, Damian giggled and hugged him tightly. Ra's attempted to speak, but Talia silenced him with a sharp jab to his neck, causing him to cough.

Damian: Did you bring me a gift?

Jason: I got some gifts for you, but I might need to rest—

Damian (high-pitched voice): Wait, wait! I want gifts... Please?

Ra's sucked his teeth at the emphasis on "please." Talia fought to suppress a smile as Jason walked off with Damian, patiently answering his many questions about America.

Jason: You're lucky you're so convincing.

Damian: Yeah!

I headcanon that babs is a hardcore Bruce supporter. Like she knows he’s emotionally constipated and dumb but like… he’s her asshole idiot. Like she throws a phone at dick and goes “call him.” Or she punches Jason so hard he has to sit down when he tries to say some rude shit about how Bruce never loved him. Like idk just babs and Bruce. (NOT ROMANTICALLY)

I understand that in canon Tim did NOT ever ask to be Robin, he saw what happened to the last guy. I understand that Alfred basically dropped the uniform on him and said "Go, my child, be free!" AND I understand that Dick was basically like "Yeah, this works."

But I feel like a more accurate description of what happened is... Like...

Dick, holding Tim up by the scruff: If not Robin, why Robin shaped?

Tim Drake probably got into fights at school, but he didn't start the fights, he'd finish them. He'd also get away scott free.

People think that they can ruin the Drake's name with their kid getting into fights and causing problems, but no. They encourage him to do these.

Janet had a firm stance in her belief to have the upper hand, so he'd never get in trouble, because she'd blackmail and/or grill into the principal so hard they had to let him go and give the other kid(s) punishment.

Jack had one solid rule, don't start a fight, finish it, and always win. He enforced it by having occasional spars with Tim whenever he could and signed Tim up for all kinds of martial arts to make sure he knew how to fight.

Janet signed him up for whatever else extracurriculars he wanted(ballet, gymnastics, theater, art, vocal coaching, instruments, figure skating, track, etc.).

So just imagine, Tim Drake, publicly known to get into and win so many fights but with no prior context is seen as a trouble maker till they see how well behaved he is. They talk badly about him though, how much of a bad kid little Tim Drake who physically looks like his father but has the face and acts exactly like Janet when he speaks and leads.

And then his parents die and he doesn't cry. They think he's an even horrible kid for not caring about his parents' death even though he's torn.

And then he becomes a Wayne and his reputation, which only Alfred and Bruce know, brings the Wayne name down.

And then he becomes CEO of Wayne Enterprises and everyone expects him to be just like Bruce. What they don't expect is Janet Drake 2.0 when it comes to getting his way and the way he acts or Jack Drake 2.0 with his outstanding leadership and ideas and proposals and what not.

When the rest of the Waynes find out about his reputation, they don't believe it till they see it for themselves.

It's probably at a gala or some sorts. A socialite is being inherently racist towards Damian and talking about how bad of a kid he is. Tim is not standing for it.

"Oh I'm sorry!" he says just a but too loudly to get the attention if everyone in the place, "Would you care to finish that vile comment about my brother? That he was a what now."

"I do, in fact. Perhaps after everyone hears this you Waynes will do better to control that little devil and his unnatural brow-"

The socialite doesn't even get to finish his sentence when Tim karate chops their neck, making them choke(literally) in their own words.

"Oh what was that? Did someone who is actively cheating on their own wife with the underage heir of another company be racist towards my underage and tri-racial brother? Sorry? Did a pedophile defiling the 15 year old daughter of the Miller's family say my 11 year old brother's skin was the sign of the devil? Hm?"

No one says a word, even as they watch Tim twist his words and spill out every secret and dirty fact about the socialite.

They don't even stop him as they watch him beat the crap out of the person with out even trying when said person tries to throw hands with Timothey Jackson Drake, publicly known for getting into fights and winning as well as being graduated from every martial arts class in Gotham ever.

Police were involved, headlines were made, the Miller heir was no longer seen in public and her younger sibling was pronounced heir, and Tim Drake, not Wayne, got off without a scratch, repercussion, or warning.

Damian has never felt an older siblings' loving protection more than he did when he saw Tim grill that socialite. He s never felt more respect for the guy before. And suddenly Dick was lower on the sibling scale.

He was lower on the sibling scale for everyone. Good by #1 sibling Dick Grayson and hello Tim Drake.

Have a problem? Someone's mean or is picking a fight? Don't worry, Tim Drake's there.

Drake is more noticeable than Wayne when it comes to Tim, and everyone finds it out the hard way.