With All My Batman Et Al. Posts, I'd Like To Make A Statement About Real Life Vigilante Justice.

Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.

Can’t reblog fast enough

...who wants to bet that part of Robin-training with Bruce was micro-dosing different drugs, both on their own and mixed with drinks, so they could identify if they've ever been dosed in the field?

That would explain so much about Nightwing's "licking things" habit.

Jason is the most impregnate-able Bat because we all know by instinct that he'd rearrange his entire life to take care of his kid.

He's not just a Daddy, he's a Father. He would nurture the fuck outta that kid. He would read all the most accredited books, he'd be active on the parenting blogs, he'd be there at the PTA meetings.

Jason would be that special mix of terrified and excited to help this child grow up. He's the parent that a kid won't be too afraid to call when they've done something really stupid and they need help now. He's the parent who will work so hard during arguments to try to say the right thing.

We can all see Jason "Get Him Pregnant" Todd being such a loving dad at every milestone in his kid's life that we can't help but want to give him that kid.

(This message was sponsored by the supporters of @arandomao3user's campaign to get Jason Todd Pregnant.)

Yesssss new resource. New things to learn. Add this to the knowledge hoard.

AWESOME SEX-ED

Ok it has just occurred to me that probably not everyone knows about my favorite sex-ed resource, Scarleteen! They have loads of great articles with information about sex, birth control, etc. They also have ways for you to ask questions that you want answered!

They have articles on everything from having sex as a disabled person, a fat person, and/or an intersex person to how to get FREE birth control as a minor(!!!) asexuality 101 and so much more!!

This is an awesome resource and my go-to when I want to know something about sex, I highly recommend it for anyone with questions/curiosities about sex, and while it's largely teen focused, there will be something here that's helpful for just about anyone!

When I started writing this post I was just going to include a couple articles... but I found so many I like so here are a bunch that may be helpful under the cut (Disclaimer: I have not read all of them because there are so many, nor am I in every group of people they're about, for example I'm not intersex or disabled, so I can't speak to the accuracy of all of them, but I've generally found Scarleteen to be pretty reliable.)

The articles I've included are mostly less typical stuff and things I think are super important but not talked about enough, if you're looking for more basic sex-ed just going to their website will get you started.

Tagging a couple accounts on here who do sex-ed stuff incase they want to reblog (No pressure though <3) @certifiedsexed @batmanisagatewaydrug

ALSO APPARENTLY SCARLETEEN IS ON TUMBLR??? @hellyeahscarleteen amazing.

Anatomy

Quickies: Sexual Anatomy | Scarleteen

With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body | Scarleteen

Intersex stuff

(Inter)sex and Relationships | Scarleteen (A series of articles by an intersex person)

Supporting Your Intersex Child Through Puberty | Scarleteen

Trans stuff

Supports for Trans Youth and Their Families (and a few words for everybody else) | Scarleteen

It's a Trap: How to Spot Anti-Trans Resources | Scarleteen

Self-Care Amidst a Deluge of Anti-Trans Legislation | Scarleteen

Transmasculine Flow: Let's Talk Periods | Scarleteen

Welcome to Trans Summer School! | Scarleteen (At the top there's a drop down that says "This piece is part of Trans Summer School" which shows you all of the articles)

The Lowdown on Low-Dose Testosterone | Scarleteen

Finding Our Own Voices: Renée Yoxon and Gender-Affirming Vocal Therapy | Scarleteen

Some Books and Balms for Nonbinary Folks | Scarleteen

Fatness

Fat Bodies: Learning to Care for Your Rolls and Folds | Scarleteen

The Confidence of Fat Sexuality: An interview with sex educator Elle Chase | Scarleteen

Disability stuff

Disabled Sex: Sex for Two (or More) | Scarleteen

Wheelchair, Bound? Kink and Disability | Scarleteen

Consent Is Sexy: Sexual Autonomy and Disability | Scarleteen

We Need to Talk About Sex and ADHD | Scarleteen

Body Talk: Listening To and Learning From Your Chronic Pain | Scarleteen

A Disabled Persons Guide to Talking with Your Partner(s) About Sex | Scarleteen

Sex and Parent Caregivers | Scarleteen

Disabled Sex Yes! | Scarleteen

I really want to have sex, but I don't know how, and I'm queer, chronically ill and isolated. | Scarleteen

Birth control

Getting Birth Control May Be Easier Than You Think! | Scarleteen (Aka how to get FREE BIRTH CONTROL as a MINOR. Not just for the USA but also Australia, Canada, India, New Zealand, South Africa, and the UK)

How to Manage Pain with IUD Insertions | Scarleteen (Not even just about pain, super in-depth helpful guide)

Other

F*c&!ng First Aid: A Quick Guide to Common Sex Injuries | Scarleteen

From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse | Scarleteen

Sex after rape. Where do I begin? | Scarleteen

Becoming Out: a totally non-exhaustive, step by step guide to coming out | Scarleteen

Your PMDD Primer: A Necessary Guide to an Under Researched Disorder | Scarleteen

Crisis Pregnancy Centers: Harm, Not Help | Scarleteen

Just the Basics, Ace: An Asexuality Primer | Scarleteen

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarMadara groans as his younger self licks over the head of his cock, mouthing it and sucking gently. He buries a hand in the man's hair, but his other grabs a handful of the eldest's mane, yanking his head to the side.

The danger is fantastic. A hand on his neck countered by his teeth on the other's throat.

"Mutually assured destruction, then. We can all stay right here, no one touches unless they're approached."

-

SugarTobi turns his head to catch gvTobi's fingers in his mouth. There might have been a garbled murmur of "my turn" before he begins showing his own talents. YoungTobi joins in for a bit before returning to leaving lazy hickies on his older self's neck, grinding himself slowly against the man's legs.

SugarTobi barely has the presence of mind to fetch the small tube of lubricant he's made a habit of carrying with him (he and his Madara tend to have stupid amounts of grinding sex and after that one time, he's made sure to stay prepared). He passes it to the eldest, pulling off from his fingers just long enough to mutter distantly "I'm gonna...'m falling, too. Fuck, whatever you want, I want to do, too..."

This! Write what you want to read! We are beings of creation, indulge in the ability to create!

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

(Art is by the amazing @dahtwitchi. This is a freeform collab with no real goal)

SugarTobi laughs under his breath as he immediately obeys the order when his elder self grabs his wrist, stilling his hand. The eldest Madara calls him a good boy and he almost falls then and there from sheer habit. He swallows thickly, tries to turn his attention back to his other selves, "Right..." He moves his hand from gvTobi's cock and instead begins to gently rub over the man's muscled stomach.

The youngest Tobi is shaking, whimpering slightly as he obediently swallows the fingers and...oh-! He gags slightly, but this is the farthest he's ever..."Good boy," SugarTobi whispers to him, and the youngest opens his eyes slightly, stares at gvTobi with complete devotion. (His head is so, so quiet like this. He only has to obey and nothing more, he doesn't have to listen to the ever present buzzing of his own thoughts)

gvTobi is doing marvelous with the youngest of them. SugarMadara purrs at his older self's hands in his hair, and there is a sharp sense of pride as he sees his Tobi struggling to avoid sinking into his own state of bliss. "Such a good boy; he's trying so hard. Yours is a natural at this. Has he ever put you under?" Personally, SugarMadara has only gotten an approximation of what the complete sense of trust feels like. He and Tobi had tried a few times, but nothing had ever clicked for him.

"He truly could be a remarkable dom." SugarMadara murmurs to himself, very much hoping both Tobis from his world will be inspired by the display of easy confidence. He shivers at the pleasant sensation as the oldest Madara tugs his hair again, asking about his own abilities. SugarMadara grins at the challenge. "I think you will find that we are both exceptionally talented in the oral arts. Are you asking for a demonstration?"

He seems to pay no attention to the fact that his younger self is dipping lower into his trousers, his smooth leather gloves teasing their way to his erection. The younger Madara might have a bit more issue with deepthroating fingers, but he would learn quickly.

Speaking of learning, SugarMadara turns his attention back to the Tobis as the youngest there makes a garbled noise of bliss. He watches carefully, ready to step in if needed.

The fingers press in again, going further. The youngest Tobi grips the other's wrist with both hands as if it's the only thing keeping him standing as he takes it all and then...He isn't sure what it was, but something tips him over the edge. He starts choking messily, forgetting to breath properly as his orgasm hits him, tears reflexively forming as he gags.

Yoooo! Yes!

When Batman was a wee little character, just a concept still being fleshed out by Bob Kane and Bill Finger, Batman killed people.

Like, with guns, even.

One of the early comics has him straight up acknowledging that he's about to kill innocent madmen who were experimented on at Arkham and turned into monsters, but he had to stop them from killing other innocent people.

Early comics were wild and I am out here so excited to talk about history and the moral panic of the 50s and how legally you couldn't publish a comic that made a criminal sympathetic!

I've got. So many essays. About the Comics Code Authority and its effect on media and culture.

Me, skimming pages of Batman year one and two, with Jaybin: . . . The f#&% you mean Batman has killed before in self defense? •-•

WHAT!!!??? BATMAN HAS KILLED PEOPLE!?!?!? ._.

This... This messed with my character analysis so much.

WHAT. DO. YOU. MEAN?!

"I'm glad they're dead!" Careful, Jason, the writers took that singular comment and haven't let it go since.

Also, just shout out to Jaybin for being all cute and >:/ and :D

Fucking thieves using ai for all the wrong fucking reasons I hope they become a better person someday and are choked with guilt for their shitty actions

How To Lock All of Your Fics At Once On Ao3

Someone has probably already done this but

For anyone looking to lock their works for only registered users over on Ao3 in light of the sudowrites scraping thing here is how you can lock all of your fics at once.

Log into Ao3 and go to your Profile, Works or Dashboard

At the top under you’re user name there are four buttons pick Edit Works

Second row of buttons on the right chose All and then hit Edit

Scroll down past all of your works and then keeps scrolling until you find Visibility  change it to Only Show to Registered User

(If a fic is over the tag limit you have to edit those down to make edit to the work.)

Hit Update All Works at the very bottom and you are done all of you fics should now have a little blue lock next to your user name on each fic.

Slade Wilson makes me want to write an au where his son, Grant, joins/is adopted by/marries into the Batfamily during his teen rebel phase.

His codename is Wrenegade.

Wouldn't that be some shit? All this lethal potential and he's using it to be a martyr vigilante in the hellcity? Slade would have a coronary. Batman would be the most smug bitch. Grant would keep the orange-and-black just to flex on his shitty bio-dad.

He'd hang out with the Waynes and everyone "in the know" would know that Batman poached a kid from Deathstroke.

"Slade is a titans villain!" "Slade is a Batman villain!" Slade is his own fucking villain. Have you seen the bastard? He is the main component in wrecking his own life godbless.

I want to explore the Bernard-as-the-third-Robin idea a little more.

Firstly, that's a mouthful and we're calling him Robern from now on.

CW: in theorizing backstory we address potential/canon child abuse and suicidal ideation.

How does he come to find himself in Batman's orbit? By accident. By storming out of his house after a fight with his parents. By blindly walking to the more dangerous part of town, or climbing up to a rooftop, or standing at a bridge.

By looking at something dangerous and thinking, "how much would they care if I were hurt? Would they care at all?"

And then along comes the goddamn Batman. And he's a fucking mess. He burned the bat signal onto a guy's face earlier.

And maybe that's where this change in the timeline starts; with Batman sitting next to this kid who looks nothing like either of his sons, listening to him talk about his parents and his fears and...

Bernard is just a kid who wants his parents to love and accept him.

Just like Jason.

Do y'all think Batman would take him home immediately or do you think he'd try to find alternative arrangements for this kid?

Because I rather like the idea of a deeply concerned Tim Drake going to Nightwing sooner rather than later, holding photos of messy!Batman ushering a sad-eyed blond kid into the Batmobile.