Look Under The Cut To See What Meeting Your Entity Is Like. Reblog To Give A Gift To Your Patron.

— MARRIED FOR 24 HOURS, COMMITED FOR LIFE ! Crackfic / Gender neutral reader / Shitty writing / Multi-characters / Fluff

“Remember the time we got married for 24 hours..?”, they hummed in response, waiting for you to continue; “A part of me thinks.. that you didn’t think it was JUST 24 hours..” you paused for a moment, and then continued “You still wear the promise ring I got you, on your ring finger.. “ you let out a small chuckle, “I don’t know how to phrase this easily, but temporarily.. until the REAL THING happens.. I’m gonna need you to sign the divorce papers.” 

“Marriage is sacred.. Surely you don’t plan on breaking the sacred vows the two of us made and shared underneath those bright lights”, he continues on, phrases and misleading the crowd of onlookers until you give up.  — Riddle Rosehearts, Jamil Viper

He closens into you, a light chuckle leaving him as he does so; he leans in and grabs the paper from your hands. He tears and shreds the poor thing to pieces and lets out a chuckle. “Try and get rid of my dear, I anticipate how creative you can be..”  — Azul Ashengrotto, Jade Leech

"Have you ever been blackmailed love 🙂" — Trey Clover, Floyd Leech, Rook Hunt, Lilia Vanrouge

“HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THE CHILDREN” “YOUR LEAVING US? AFTER ALL WE’VE BEEN THROUGH” — Ruggie Bucchi, Cater Diamond, Idia Shroud (replace children with Ortho), Sebek Zigvolt

Grim hands him the divorce paper and he casually rips it apart; Grim hands him another one, “Don— Don't rip it—” tearing noises. “God damn it!”; Grim hands them four new copies of the divorce paper, and he rips them again. “Darling you're making this way more difficult than it should be” you said, trying to convince them to stop. “No, you’re making this difficult” 

Grim hands him another five packets of divorce papers, “We can do this all day” he said, but he ripped them apart again.. “You’re not going to go through with this are you..” you ask him; “No, but it’s funny seeing you try to divorce me”. Grim smashes another 15 packets onto the table, “DEUCE I’M GOING TO NEED 600 MORE COPIES OF DIVORCE PAPERS”  — Vil Schoenheit, Ace Trappola, Malleus Draconia, Leona Kingscholar

*Holding back tears* — Deuce Spade

Silence, dead silence, avoids your gaze and questions. — Silver, Jack Howl, Kalim Al-Asim, Epel Felmier

© cupids-chamber, do not repost, plagiarize, translate, or adapt my work without prior permission and or confirmation.

stan is the only member of the pines twins^2 to never make a deal with bill and i think he needs more credit for that.

ford makes, just, so many deals with his demon boyfriend

dipper literally trades his body to bill in sock opera

and while i will die on the hill that it was never her fault, mabel is tricked into making a deal with him for weirdmagenon.

but stan never gets tricked. the only time he comes close was when he was pretending to be ford but that was with the sole purpose of getting bill erased. never does bill get to him or twist his thoughts. for being the "dumb one" he's surprisingly rational in this was.

nobody matches bill intellectually, ford's fatal flaw is that he thought he did, and the pines family wins because they have an emotional core that bill never had (the power of sibling bonding saves the day and i love it) but ill go out on a limb and say that out of everyone, stan is the only one to match bill's street smarts.

bill's a master manipulator but stan is a professional con-artist with no respect for the law, you tell me who's coming out on top.

stan successfully faked his own death, ran a business for 30 years, taught himself some sort of advanced engineering to repair the portal, evaded local, federal and international authorities from the age of 18, and did it all without any support.

and going back to when he pretends to be ford to get bill to enter his mind, that scene makes stan the only character to ever outwit bill.

anyways this has been a stan pines appreciation post, thank you and goodnight

Recently I've been seeing a lot of Sun Wukong and reader / OC with baby monkeys stuff, and I am just living for it. ( @journey-to-the-au's #Fruit Troup and @semisolidmind's #Royal Children especially) Something about baby monkeys rattled around in my little brain long enough that I had to bang out this drabble. Its my first ever x reader story, and its just slightly nsfw so beware!

Cuddle Break

Synopsis: Your reaction to snuggling a baby monkey has quite an effect on Sun Wukong

Warning / Triggers: Slight NSFW - mention of an erection and implied adult situations

For several days now the group had been traveling through a dense jungle. You had stopped for a break on the side of the road to eat some lunch and rest your weary feet. Although it was a little humid, it felt pleasantly cool beneath the shade of the jungle canopy. You would have liked to take a quick nap, but Tang was anxious as ever to get moving again.

“YN, would you mind finding Wukong?” the monk asked. He smiled apologetically, as if he knew he was sending you into the lion’s den.

Almost since the day you’d joined the group, the demon monkey had begun teasing and flirting with you. You did your best to laugh off his advances, thinking he was probably just messing with you, but lately Wukong was getting so provocative that Tang was forced to use the headache spell a few times just to get him to give you some space. You were starting to consider that maybe Wukong really was into you, which wouldn’t have been a problem if you didn’t find him so damn attractive too!

As usual Wukong had gone off on his own to scout out the surroundings as soon as the group had settled down. Normally Pigsy would have been asked to go find the monkey, but he had eaten so much lunch that he’d zonked out hard enough that even Sandy was struggling to wake him up. There was nothing to be done about it, so you set off in the direction you had seen Wukong go earlier, hoping he hadn’t gone too far.

It wasn’t much trouble to find a little footpath that meandered through the jungle underbrush. You tracked it for a while, occasionally calling out the demon monkey’s name. Eventually you came to a wide, slow running creek, and trusting the intuition that had served you so well on the journey so far decided to follow it upstream. It wasn’t too long before you caught a familiar chirping, chattering sound. You had heard Wukong occasionally making those noises, but this time they sounded surprisingly soft.

“Wukong!” you called as you got closer, “Tang wants to get going…!”

It wasn’t long before you spotted him and understood why the noises were so unusually gentle.

Sun Wukong was perched on a thick branch hanging low over the creek, surrounded by a troop of infant monkeys. It was the little ones that were chirping and giggling as they climbed on him like a living jungle gym. He seemed to be enjoying it, indulging the little ones with the softest smile you had ever seen on his face. And the babies were so cute! Little fluffy beans with their little tails and itty-bitty noses!

“❤️Oooh my gooooosh!!❤️❤️” You gushed before you could stop yourself.

The Monkey King and his tiny subjects looked at you in surprise, only just noticing your presence. The babies looked a little nervous, but Wukong’s grin only got bigger as you approached. You were glad to see that the little ones trusted Wukong enough that they didn’t run away, even when you pulled yourself up on the branch to sit beside him.

“They’re so adorable, Wukong! Do… Do you think I could hold one?”  

Wukong had never seen you so enamored before, it was adorable! “Sure,” he chuckled, “Just be careful. They got a strong grip.” He lifted one of the little ones off his knee, making reassuring noises as he handed him over to your waiting arms.

The baby was clearly a bit frightened of you, staring at your face with wide, darting eyes. “It’s okay sweetie,” you cooed to reassure him, stroking his head and back. “Don’t be scared.” To your delight the infant started to purr, and snuggled against you as you cradled him against your chest. You were so besotted with affection for the little guy that you didn’t even notice the intense way Wukong was staring at you.

It wasn’t until he’d handed the child over that Wukong realized the little one had fur that was remarkably like the color of your hair. Watching you snuggle and coo at the infant made him think of you doing the same with his offspring. Just imagining you getting you pregnant with his heirs drove him wild. If it weren’t for the children still clinging to him, he would have pounced on you right there.

What was worse, he was a little jealous of the little one! What he wouldn’t give to have you hold him and stroke his fur like that! That look of sweet and tender adoration in your eyes should have been for him!

Oblivious to the immortal demon’s internal struggle (and the bulge in his pants) you continued to soothe the baby monkey in your arms. The little guy was practically melting as you pet his soft fur. Then two more of the little ones abandoned Wukong to crawl into your lap, eager for their turn at cuddles. You scooped them up happily, pressing kisses to their foreheads. “Aww! Mama’s sweet babies! ❤️”

Wukong grit his teeth to stifle a groan. The jolt of arousal that went through him was so violent his hand shot up and snapped the branch above him like a twig. The baby monkeys that were still sitting on him were startled enough to scatter further up the tree.

You gave him a puzzled look, holding the little ones in your lap a bit protectively. “Something wrong, Wukong?”

“I’m fine,” he answered, jumping down from the branch. He sounded a bit more terse than usual. Obviously he wasn’t fine, but he wasn’t going to tell you about it. “You said Master wanted to get going. We should head back now.”

You sighed, glancing down at the baby monkeys curled in your lap. They had been startled by Wukong crushing the branch but had hunkered down rather than run away. “Aw, can’t we stay just a little longer?”

"C'mon, YN, let's go." Wukong shook his head, shooing the little ones with a few soft hoots. They reluctantly crawled out of your lap, and you pouted as you let them go. Then he reached up, grabbing your waist to lift you down off the branch. You accepted the surprisingly chivalrous gesture, even putting your hands on his strong shoulders to steady yourself. But once your feet were on the ground, he didn’t let go.

You felt your face heat up with a blush as Wukong stepped into your space, his grip on your waist keeping you from escaping when his chest pressed flush against yours. You could feel his warm breath on your ear as he leaned in and growled suggestively, “You know, I could give you a few of your own if you wanted…”

“Wukong!!” The insufferable demon laughed as you pounded your fist on his chest in protest. But at least he let you step back, and you took a deep breath to try calming your racing heart. And racing hormones!

Against your better judgement, you let him carry you back to the others on his cloud. You tried to ignore his tail curled around your middle, somehow convincing yourself that it was only to keep you steady.

Wukong could tell under all that flustered embarrassment you were turned on. He could smell it on you, and it made him grin victoriously. It wouldn’t be long now before he’d finally have you. He might have even been able to convince you to let him have his way right there in the jungle, but he knew there wasn’t enough time to really enjoy himself. If the monk had sent you to look for him, it wouldn’t be long before he sent Pigsy or Sandy to look for you. He could wait a little longer. You were worth it flexing a little patience, and no matter what, in the end you’d be his.

And in the meantime, seeing you snuggle the baby monkeys gave him a sneaky idea for how to get some of that attention for himself…

payback

Build-A-Bear except it's Guillermo Del Toro making you a Monster Boyfriend.

【I think, moto moto likes you! 】

୨୧ — ꒰ himbo!reader | he/him prounouns | NPC reader | shit posting

୨୧ — ꒰ Reader who's just your average Joe, going on about their day as an npc for the Traveler to pass by. Yet managed to rizz up a important character with 0 effort

Ft. Pantalone, Kaeya, Zhongli

A/n: I'm juggling two fanfics in one cause I'm him, also I need my himbo reader crumbs. OOC probably cause I can't read for shit

P A N T A L O N E

— Pantalone was never too fond with his subordinates nor co-workers, opting to instead focus his attention on the mora he had collected and Snezhnaya's economic policies. Indeed the man's plate was already a handfull to deal with.

— Though his life definitely took a turn once his eyes locked onto yours

— You were a simple worker for the fatui, only doing your job as a helper by carrying the more heavier and larger crates packed with weaponry for the fatui soldiers.

— To you, you generally look average, having no special qualities to be worth mentioned. But to him, good god you looked straight out of a Greek painting.

— Your muscles would bulge under your clothing, the buttons on their last lives trying to hold everything together. That sharp gaze that could cut through anything with a single stare, oh no.. HE'S HOT

— And before you knew it, your pay check began to SKY ROCKET. You almost thought it was a fever dream seeing 6 digit mora be handed over to you like it's nothing, even after you did barely anything.

— Curious enough, you decided to personally see him in his office, questioning why you abruptly received such high pay. Not that you minded it, but you were kinda worried this was some kind of final goodbye fee before you get fired or maybe worse.

— To say that Pantalone was excited to see you was an understatement, he was absolutely ECSTATIC too see your divine and gracious self in front of him in arms reach. Oh how he wished he could just reach out to you, imagining how your strong and well built arms would wrap around his waist, pulling him closer to your body.

— Pantalone had met with many attractive people in his life, many being above the average, but you? You're a different case. Pantalones legs felt weak and wobbly JUST by being close to you, it must be an achievement to have such an important character like him act like some high school girl with a crush.

— And some days later after, you'd be flabbergasted seeing yourself climbing the ranks in a rapid pace, earning yourself a position of Pantalones personal assistant...though grateful for this opportunity, you can't help but notice the man's undeniable favoritism to you.

K A E Y A

— Kaeya is often depicted as a confident or dramatic man, regularly seen chatting with the locals and having a faint deviousness in his sapphire eyes. Being one of the more relaxed members of the Knights of Favonius, surely nothing will break the man's inner self?

— So why is it that Kaeya is standing infront of you, shy and flustered with your hand on his shoulder, previously catching him after a slight trip.

"Are you alright sir?"

— Kaeya shuddered slightly, his body twitched hearing your voice be so close to his ear, he didn't expect your voice to be so...pleasant to hear

— He mentally cursed himself, being such a high figure and acting all embarrassed for some hot stranger

— But as the days passed by, Kaeya decided to grow a pair. You often found him in some alleyways, a vast field, or even when you take a small stroll outside of your house

— Kaeya might look all calm and collected in the outside, but mentally he felt flustered and even sometimes shy by your presence, he has to take a 5 minute breather before 'coincidentally' bumping into you for the 1947th time

— But you're a pretty nice guy, not commenting on Kaeyas behavior, so like any normal person, you decided to befriend him, thinking nothing much of it but a new friend to talk to.

— But to Kaeya? This was a WAVE of bewilderment

— Mostly, when making friends he's usually considering his benefits, not having much friends anyway despite his 'flirtatious' and 'laid back' attitude.

— Kaeya even sometimes experience a sense of longing, loneliness. He never had a true friend yet all his life, but when you offered to be his friend? He felt... Sort of relieved.

— Though he himself couldn't even explain the emotions swirling inside him, the sight of you soft smiling at him. You weren't befriending him for your own benefits, but to instead genuinely be his real friend.

— And before Kaeya knew it, the two of you began to grow closer and closer as the days passed, hanging out in angels share whenever Kaeya or you had some spare time.

— He only hoped you'd accept his confession in the near future, but for now. He liked it this way.

Z H O N G L I

— Zhongli has his fair shares of companions, some still staying by his side till this day, while some others had to go. The mans basically seen it all at this point, with an experience of over 5000+ he's already accumulated thousands of stories to tell

— And you're just a guy who likes to listen in on stories here and there while eating some freshly cooked Chop Suey (杂碎)

— You two met while Zhongli was taking a small walk in Liyue Harbor, he who was peacefully enjoying the harmony and the people, admiring the sky and plants. And you who traveled from Fontaine to Liyue just to try some food and visit a family member

— You, obviously lost in the city decided to come up to him immediately since he looked pretty wise and handsome. Zhongli didn't mind guiding you around the harbor, since he had some spare time anyways

— Zhongli couldn't help but take note of how.. Tall you were compared to him, it was almost unreal. He'd met with many humans before, all of them being unique with one another, and you were no different.

— Zhonglis eyes quietly glanced at your body before right back at your oblivious smiling face, it wasn't right to check out a stranger so intimately. He had to keep his himself under control and provide you with the necessary details on your trip.

— Though, his keen eye already took notice of how you were absolutely mesmerized at him, not being able to listen much and only giving small nods.

— Zhongli eventually grew curious enough to ask why you stared at him so delicately

"Is there something on your mind?"

"Oh! Haha, sorry you're just very handsome and smart. Thank you alot sir"

— You shaked his hand and left, thanking him for his guidance, leaving a confused yet embarrassed Zhongli.

— Zhonglis gloved hand covered his face that was turning slightly red, what was it that made him so bashful? Was it the way you smiled at him? Or how you bluntly praised him out of the blue? Zhongli wasn't a stranger to compliments, yet when you said it.. Suddenly everything came crashing down.

— By the next day, Zhongli luckily found you once again, eating some of Liyues delicacies while listening on some stories, stories that were specifically about the Geo archon.

— Over time, Zhongli began to grow more and more intrigued by you each time you two cross paths, the way you act so aloof yet kind to the people, or how you always say anything that's on your mind keeps Zhongli more and more entertained by you. Regularly looking forward to meeting you every day.

— Zhongli wasn't unaware of what he was feeling as he grew closer and closer to you, even dropping some subtle hints to show his feelings for you. Yet the himbo you are, you answer completely oblivious to his feelings.

— Well, he has alot of spare time in his hands anyway. Slow and steady wins the race, and Zhongli could wait for thousands of days just for you.

A/n: Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Thanks for reading≧﹏≦

ok since i don't think i've seen any semi-comprehensive lists of the tumblr holidays for the reddit refugees, here it is.

IT JUST HAPPENS

DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15

Thursday the 20th

The Fifth of Wednesday

Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating

Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif

WEEKLY EVENTS

Every Monday: El Muchacho Monday

Every Tuesday: Tuesday Again? No Problem...

Every Wednesday: Wet Beast Wednesday

Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday

Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday

Every Saturday: Don't @ Me, I'm Chilling/Caturday

Every Sunday: Fingers In His Ass Sunday

YEARLY EVENTS

January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day

January 29: Threshold Day

All of February: Funguary

February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day

March 9: Miku Day

March 10: Mario Day

March 14: Pi Day

March 15: Ides of March

March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today

April 1: Mishapocalypse

April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary

April 3: Dannypocalypse

April 8: Rex Manning Day

ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD

April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes

ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day

April 20: haha 420 blaze it

April 25: The Perfect Date

April 28: Ed Balls Day

April 30: It's Gonna Be May

All of May: Mermay

May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily

May 4: May the 4th Be With You

May 5: Revenge of the Fifth

May 25: The Glorious 25th of May

All of June: Pride Month

ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY

June 5: Barricade Day

June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck

July 20: Moon Landing

September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her

September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-

All of October: SKELETON WAR

ALSO All of October: Inktober

October 3: Mean Girls Day

ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Day

October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day

October 31: HALLOWEEN

November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day

November 19: Goncharov

All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?

December 10: Please, It's Christmas

December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS

Missing Flowers ( @semisolidmind Fanfic)

I wrote this because I was inspired by another bit of work. This one is sweet ans short and Mac centric. Inspired by this ask! Twice as Bad Au make brain go brrrr

Tw for some violence mentions and some allusions to intimate behaviour (it is not detailed at all - in fact you may miss it entirely - but it is alluded to thats why I mention this)

As the sweet scents of spring created on the wind, carrying blossoms and the soft buzzing bodies of bumblebees, Peaches felt a deep pang of loss. Outside in the spring air, walking along the edge of the mountains with the small attendants she was given, she looked out beyond the sparkling sea. Beyond the mountains and the sky and all that lay between. She imagined she was looking homeward. To her village.

She missed her village, missed her people who she knew as family and as friends. She missed the smell of the earth, the taste of the rain on her tongue and how the sun angled itself through her shuttered windows to cast the dust motes in startling detail as they passed through the beams. It had been over a decade now since her marriage of ‘demonic fashion’ to the rulers of Flower Fruit Mountain. The ache never would go away- it would linger like a hole in her smile, a tooth lost and never replaced.

However it wasn’t her village today that was making her homesick.

Peaches had a little patch of earth, maybe an acre large that she had dedicated to the propagation of flowers and fruits, vegetables and all manner of growing things. It had taken years of careful selection, of collecting seeds from far and wide, of dedicated research and late nights in the snow and the ice and the building of her greenhouse to gather the collection she had had.

Peaches had turned the soil, mixing it with her grass clippings, ash from the fire place, and the compost to enrich it. It had been years of careful and quiet work to build her collection of plants. The glass bits for her greenhouse had costed her years and years of hard work. She had been unable to have it as large as she wanted but it was enough. Within the wooden little wall sat her favorite flowers, the precious few she had bargained and hunted for, the seeds and clippings, were all here safe within the wooden walls.

All her work over the past few years gone in a flash of fire and a slash of violence. What had happened to her little home? Was the house standing? Rotting in its neglect of the years. Did someone take over her home if it was still standing?

The stairs would need replacing. The second one had been creaking before her kidnapping. The wood had been softening and she had her eyes on a tree just beyond her garden. She had planned to cut it free and carve a new replacement. What of her animals? She had had a small herd of goats, little bleating creatures of brown and white.

The goats had been her source of fresh milk, meat and weed control. Each had been given a name. Each had been loved.

Had they been able to get away?

Had they been burned in the fire?

Peaches knew that the flowers and fruits she had were gone. Those couldn’t have escaped the fire - or the human retribution that would follow from any survivors.

Would Wukong have left survivors ? The Sage had come home many a times from such violence. He had woken her with cold hands grasping and seeking her out. He buried them in her hair or twined them in her fingers. Wukong would pull her to him and away from her own makeshift nest within their bed. In those early days he had not learned that the smell of fire and blood would upset her.

Those nights his blood had been on fire from conquest and he wanted only to enjoy the comfort of one of his dearest prizes. Her. Wukong would touch and whisper love into her ears as he fell asleep, a peace only she could bring in the aftermath of those bloodbaths. Sometimes she would wake in the morning to find blood smeared along her cheeks and in her hair.

It had been one of the times Macaque had found her hyperventilating after such a morning covered in blood that wasn’t hers, confused to where it could be from, and the memories of the night when the drunk had invaded her home.

And her world had changed. She had been pulled to his arms, her own chest pressing to his. Instructed to follow his breathing, to listen to the air whoosh from his body. To hold. Then to fill again like the bellows of a blacksmiths forge. And then to deflate.

When her breathing did not sound like the frantic flapping of a broken birds wing, thats when Macaque had asked her what happened. What had triggered her memories. Peaches asked how he knew- and her second husband rubbed a thumb beneath her eyes and caught a tear.

“You were screaming. Telling me to stop burning the village.” The words sounded sad. Not remorseful. Never remorseful for the actions that led here here. That brought her to residency in the mountain. The sadness was instead about the scars left behind, the invisible wounds that their actions had created.

After that, Wukong never came to bed smelling of blood or fresh from a conquest.

Wukong would never leave survivors of the village. Not after what he thought was a slight to her, to his perception of what was his. An extension of his own self importance. No. That seemed wrong even as Peaches thought it. Maybe she was an extension of his grandeur. But she wasn’t just a prize to be turned and looked at. Somehow, in some way, he had fallen in love with her.

Love for Wukong- for Macaque- was not like human love. Just as two peach trees could produce different fruits. Peaches knew that love between people was more of a communication, a build up to a relationship. At least in the best situations. Demons however … it was more draconic in a sense. To claim and catch, to conquer before another could take the prize between its claws and keep for themselves. Like dogs fighting over scraps, love was something to catch and hoard and keep.

Maybe it wasn’t so different from humans. Stories and mythologies had been woven of love like this. Men had gone to war and killed thousands of others in the name of one paramour, one love.

Wukong had done that. He had taken a conceived obstacle and removed it. He had snatched her as a wolf would steal a lamb in the cold of winter, taking her back to the mountain. Devouring her freedom to secure his happiness. When his brother came to see, to wonder at why their paramour was here. It hadn’t taken much convincing. It was as natural as breathing to take in their world.

Peaches attendants, those young ladies, waited patiently. Peaches stared out across the world and wished she had the eyes of eagles to stare and devour the miles so she could see for herself.

Was her garden truly gone? Had anything wild had been left behind ?

Had the apple trees gone wild? Were green granny smiths now growing wild among the pink ladys and dorsett goldens? Were the nectarines falling from the trees to rot beautifully in a horrid flash of sweet sick decay? Did the bees still pollinate whatever roses and hydrangeas survived ?

Had the fire consumed everything?

She missed her garden. Her plants. She missed her home.

She had been so lost in thought that she didn’t notice how her Ladies in waiting called out- she didn’t notice the shadow length beneath her feet. Until suddenly the ground was not ground at all but a gaping black hole- and she fell screaming.

Right into a warm embrace and soft fur that smelled like orange blossoms and plum wine. Laughter bubbled out of Macaque bare chest. “I would think the Queen would be more aware of her surroundings by now.”

Peaches pulled away enough to hook her husband with a scowl. It was half hearted as the demonic monkey dipped downward and pressed his lips to the side of her face in soft peppered kisses. Peaches laughed at the affection, able to ease into the comfort that the six eared macaque had grown between them. The chestnut trees above them rattled like ladies whispering as casting the sunlight like dice over a game.

“Some brutes don’t walk - some slink in shadows.” Peaches teased back. She lifted a hand up and along Macaques face. Her fingers touched his ears- all six on display today instead of being glamoured and hidden. The large clawed hand tightened beneath her as she brushed her hands over them. Macaque leaned into her touch, pressing his face, and her hand, into hers.

“Slink?” The monkey teased. They were beneath a cluster of chestnut and beech trees. A whole new position upon the mountain - possibly leagues across the great kingdom.

“Slink?” Macaque nipped her ear and she yelped in surprise- cheeky like. “I do not slink.”

And then the stomach flip as the magic pulled them in. The very shadows that seemed to seep and flow through macaques black fur, the ebbing of ocean currents between the jetties of his being. The cold kissed her nose, the sun flashed. Peaches blinked as the orientation of the sky reasserted itself. They were closer to Water Curtain cave now. The mosses and lichens that grew in the soft moisture were tell tale signs.

“I merely use what I have to my advantage.”The Six Eared Macaque pulled his wife into himself as he began to walk. In her decade here she had begun to see the mountain like a second skin. Each turn of stone was becoming like a new crease in her skin. Here she understood that, even though the forest was near the palace, it was no where she had treaded recently.

Her husband was taking her somewhere. But where ?

“You left my ladies in distress.” Peaches asked. The steps against the forest floor were soothing. Would she allow herself to be soothed ? It was easier for Peaches to forget the scars that marred her when it was Macaque. With Wukong …

It would always be a sore spot. Always be cut that had healed too thin and the scar left behind would ache in the cold.

“I left them with a note that said I was taking my wife for a moment.”

How different the world would be if they had just asked her to come with them. Had the two brothers even floated the idea between each other? Thought to show her the beautiful mountain and let her fall into it and in love with it ? Peaches knew she would have come. The beauty here was unmatched - the fruits and flowers and plants and growing things would have stolen her away faster then a demons courting could ever achieve. If her boys had only asked her… only shown her….

“How are you Peaches ?” Macaques voice was soft.

“I am… far away.” She decided to be honest.

“The memories again?” Soft, gentle. Her sweet boy was still there. Still within this … sorrow. Peaches had found the little monkey bleeding among her hydrangeas and honeysuckle. The white and purple petals were turned crimson and crushed beneath the tiny body. Of course he had been a wild thing, a furious flash of teeth and claws. Any animal would be. So when the weak little monkey bit into her hand she hadn’t flinched. Instead she had waited, taking a blanket to scoop the poor creature up and into her arms- and to contain those claws. The bite was foolish- what she did was foolish- but… she was a foolish women.

The bite was deep, the pain a lance in her mind. Those teeth were large enough, sabers in gums - knives of nature that cut into the soft pad of her flesh. He didn’t let go, he didn’t release her hand until the blood on his flank was cleaned. Until the gash in his side had been sewed shut. He was too weak to worry her flesh into ruin. To take his pain and tear her apart. He could have. Though small, though at a disadvantage, the little was gifted with weapons where Peaches had been gifted none. She was soft handed, soft as a magnolia flower. No claws no teeth no strength.

Yet he did not tear her apart. The tiny monkey was left alone after he was patched up. A bowl of water, a small basket of peeled mandarins. And the window- left open to let in the wet jungle air. Her kindness had cost her her hand- the day after it was purple and swollen. It was hard to work in the soil- to work in the garden and her little farm. She had carrots to pull, goats to milk, and trees to prune. By the end of the day she could barely close the hand and it had grown yellow on top of the purple. Like a plum trampled enough to ruin the flesh but not enough to break it open.

The next morning however, when she unwrapped to tend the wound and let it breath… she found the wrappings clean. The swelling was gone. The punctures were still there. But…. They had healed over.

She had been a fool. Peaches had thought it was from her tending that the wound had healed up. She had been a fool. Who would have known that her foolish heart would lead to this future?

“Its not just the memories- its a memory.” They had stopped walking now.

“Which one?” The leaves rustled above them. The air smelled of water and earth and stone. It was … calming. So the memory coming forward now wasn’t cast in sorrow. But in calm.

“Of you.” She reached up and pressed a finger to the very tip of his nose. “Of the garden. When we first met.”

Macaque grimaced.

“Not my best introduction...” He looked down at her hand. The scar was still there, silver moons along her skin.

“Are you embarrassed?”Peaches teased. Macaque paused. He set her down onto her feet, kneeling. His hands caught her wrist- the one he had scared all those years ago- and brought it to his face.

“Truly I am. I mauled your hand.”He kissed it, rubbed a claw over the scars, worried at it with his lips and his tender forehead brushes.

“You were in pain. And you healed it.” Peaches pulled him up. Off his knees. In these moments, these tender touches, was the sweetness that had grown between them. There was the flash of that little monkey she had saved. Who had slowly begun to bring her gifts and treasures. His first gift had never been showed. Macaque had never been talked about- as it had required secrecy.

“Lao Tzi had chased me out.” The simian smiled into her face, teeth flashing like moonlight. “Heaven was in an uproar over my thievery. But … they thought I was Wukong.”

“Mac!” She beat on his shoulder in play. Roaring laughter was rewarded to her as the trickier of the two loomed over and draped his arms over her front, pressing her back to his chest.

“I couldn’t let them know it was me!” His teeth were in her hair, soft croons and gentle nips being pressed to her skin. “I was in a bit of a hurry.”

Her cheeky six eared husband then began to press her and tease her in a very flirtatious fashion that turned Peaches skin flushed and burning. It was long moments and minutes after the teasing and the stolen presses of kisses and promises for later, that Peaches decided to open her heart a bit more to him.

“I miss it all. I miss the house and the village and …. I miss the garden the most. All my plants. My animals…” Peaches rested her face in his arm, drinking in the plum wine and orange blossom smell that was so thickly wrapped in his fur.

“All the growing things… do you think they are still there ?” It was easy to think of it here, when Macaque had been kind and soft to her. When he understood what emotional wounds were still healing, still painfully sore. The rush of his heart was against her ear was nice.

“Have they gone wild and returned to the woods ? What of the roses- they are the hardest here to tend. And the magnolia trees….” A bird flitted and flew its way between the emerald leaves. A dolphin flying through a sea of emerald green.

Macaque spun her suddenly, his hand gripping hers, his tail flicking. She was pulled along, hands grasping his as they walked faster.

“Lets walk. We will go and see the orchards and you will tell me all the flowers you had and loved and never got to tend.”

“I would tell you anyway.” Peaches laughed softly. “I loved my flowers.”

The look of serious thought didn’t alleviate in the wake of her laughter.

“You will tell me in detail and what seasons they grow- and what habitats they grow in. Who the traders were that gave you the seeds and the clippings.” They rounded the corner of a stone outcropping, the path before them becoming more well trodden. The path to the orchards.

“And I want you to find a piece of the mountain- get that foolish orange orangutang of my brother to help you clear it and drain it and turn its soil rich.”

The realization was dawning on Peaches then.

“Ma-Macaque…” Was he suggesting what her heart was starting to hope?

“You get the land ready.” His fingers squeezed hers. “I will collect the seeds in my journeys. I will find the best lines and horticulturists and gather you a collection that will rival the one we foolishly took from you.”

His eyes held hers. It had the same effect that a sunrise had on a snow trapped forest. The light in them was refracted and doubled as Peaches felt her heart fill. She didn’t realize that tears were dripping until Macaque was reaching up to coo and rub them free, calling to her in comforting familial tones a monkey would use to soothe an create comfort.

“And I will be able to play within your garden and see you smile like you just did. I would bring down the lunar gardens to see you smile again… as you did when i first saw you in that garden. ”

Chubby Baker Witch S/O

@chibithewitch Here's your request, sweetheart!

Sun Wukong 

He thinks you’re the most adorable thing on this planet. He loves literally everything you do. Your food, your body, your magic, all perfect. You’re perfect and he will not shut up about it. It’s a little embarrassing. 

Do not let him help you bake though. He will probably set something on fire or use salt instead of sugar or something like that. My man can’t cook for shit. 

You have to watch him because he will steal snacks as you’re making them especially if it has peaches in it. 

He’s seen a lot of magic but yours amazes him just like the rest of you. 

Macaque 

One of his love languages is acts of service so he appreciates literally everything you do, magic or not. The magic just makes it easier for you. Also uses his shadow magic to help you where he can.

 He can cook but hasn’t tried much baking so he tends to make meals for you two when he gets the time instead of helping you in the bakery. He knows he protects you but he still feels like he doesn’t help out as much as he should plus he’s just a sucker for domestic stuff.

Also steals snacks when you’re not looking as long as it’s not for work. 

You get up early to open the bakery and he’s not usually up till midday but he helps you close out. Tends to hum you to sleep when you’re tired. 

Azure Lion

This man is so soft for you, it’s not even funny. He just thinks you’re the most precious thing in the world. He gets up early with you to help you open up shop. 

He’s pretty used to magic around him so your magic doesn’t faze him much. Can reach the tall shelves for you. 

Is the only one out of these three that never eats anything that you don't expressly give him. Very willing to help you test new recipes with you. He will purr if he really likes it then gets embarrassed about purring. 

You weigh like literally nothing to any of these three but Azure Lion is the most likely to carry you around without laughing or teasing you.

Shining Beauty.

Malleus + Vil + Kalim

with a Crow ! Mc

It's said that crows are one to keep an eye for any shiny things. However, it's just a myth. Or is it?

Logically - or technically - speaking, wild full adult crows will never collect, hide or store anything other than food - looking related items. Young crows on the other claw, are more investigative and curious, so they like to handle objects, peck at it and sometimes even hide them. Which goes to show how different kids and adults are.

In this case, you are the crow. Mature unlike Crowley but quite also reckless. No one knows how you live besides you, yourself. Here in Twisted Wonderland though, everyone believes in the myth of The Crow Likes The Fairest. I mean, just look at Crowley.

That's why, you have taken interest in three certain... friends...

—★ ★—

Kalim is an excellent one that's for sure. Probably the shiniest out of the three with his sunshine personality, smile and the fact that he's basically covered himself with richest. However he is also not one to show off. If he did, it's always unintentional. Not the brightest out of the three.

When you got infuriated with him is a nice question. You don't even have to actually guess. Kalim is a partygoer just because. You probably aren't friends when you got attached to him.

When you two are together, Kalim doesn't mind the behaviours and habits you have. He'll just laugh it off as if it is another Tuesday. Handling him is easy. If you like to be social that is. Other than that, the worst you can find when handling someone like him, is that he's too naive and social for his own good. - Pecking him except it's in the form of kisses. Those cute multiple kisses on the face makes him laugh everytime. He's quite ticklish so don't get overboard now. You can peck him anytime, curiosity or not, he won't mind. Why should he? He loves it! - Hiding him is a big no. While Kalim might find it as fun like a game of hide and [no] seek. We still have Jamil. Jamil does not appreciate you hiding him. He might mistaken Kalim's disappearance as a kidnapping.

Overall, doesn't mind. He loves it. Naive little prince with a crow. Who would've guessed.

—★ ★—

Vil is naturally always shining, in terms of beauty and outfit. Considering his dorm revolves around beauty itself, it's no surprise that you with your little habits is seen to be around the place. Specifically - around the queen of the dorm.

With the shades of purple and yellow - gold coating the interior and exterior. Chandelier inside the dorm, high above. With added red to compliment and also dominate the other colours. The lights were always on, even at night, it'll only dimmed. You can't help but get lost in it all, it's not something you can always get the privilege to see.

Vil is stern, strict, busy, quite narcissistic and incredibly self-absorbed. That does not mean, however, he does not have a heart. Well, actually, maybe after his overblot had happened, he finally has a heart and a bit more open-minded to say the least... With someone like you, he'll admit that he guessed you have the birdbrain. Don't worry, that thought goes away - for a while - once you start to fish out the compliments he wants to hear, especially if it's coming from his love. His 'Honnête et unique'.

The dynamic is not really the one you always see, you must admit, but it's still an interesting two. The queen is not easy to handle. If you are to not follow the schedule he made for you, you are not to be leaving unless you finally caught up to the loss time that you had wasted. He's always busy too with photoshoots and all so he might neglect you unintentionally but do not fret! He knows how to make it up to you! Pecking him is a huge no. On the rarest occasion, he'll let you like the softest moments with him. But other times? He'll scold you a lot. He can't have his makeup or skincare ruined. He needs to be the fairest of them all, after all. Hiding him is also a not a good idea. You have a dramatic poet of a hunter on you - meanwhile Vil is too busy in his schedule for the little games. Knowing him, he also prefers to shine himself to the world. Although, he'll always appreciate the time where you two can settle down without a care.

The outstanding diamond and the crow. Quite the match if I do say so myself.

—★ ★—

Malleus. The Feared Lonely Prince of Twisted Wonderland and Briar Valley. Is so happy to meet you. Someone who's interested in shiny little trinkets. Habit or not, he's so happy he can burst into a dragon. He's probably not someone you may find interesting but as soon as you make eye contact, you are immediately interested.

Dorm members are shocked to say the least. Mostly Sebek. That loud mouth. The least? Lilia, as to be expected. Normally commenting something about young love. The other, Silver, while he may be shocked but he'll get over it very fast. He's a bit tired after all.

He'll be grateful if you decide to share a small part of your collection, he'll even hand you some of his from his hoard. Then it might even become a daily occurrence between you two. At the Ramshackle Dorm or outside of the dorm. Crows are also known to remember clearly well. You can bet that as soon as you saw - found him, you are happily flapping your wings - or claws, I don't judge.

Why, a crow handling a reptile? A dragon at that? That is unheard of. However between the two of you, it's an adorable sight to see. Just you clinging to him or poking at him or even any sort of contact - you'll have, not only a happy dragon, but also a calm headed dragon that is currently melting on the inside and will be attached to you for a long while. Pecking him is like nuzzling up to a dragon - in Malleus' perspective. If you can't tell from that, he loves it. He ADORES it. He'll gently nuzzle down on you with the softest smile you can ever witnessed. Hiding him is a... Not so great idea if you don't like Sebek screaming and yelling at you for 'kidnapping' the young master. Besides Sebek, everyone else is not that reactive. Lilia and Malleus are probably the only ones to react positively on that actually.

The dragon prince and the crow. My, what a match. A beautiful one like a dahlia flower.

I wish you a good day.