Oh, Wyrm?

Reblog if you're LGBT and are against MAPS/Child Groomers

Bruce Wayne, sitting in a cute eco-friendly cafe while on a video call with Tim: Oh Noooo, are you sure there’s no way the board of directors will let us get rid of this old decrepit Wayne Factory building that is unsafe for our workers and also for the surrounding environment?

CEO Tim, with equal gravitas: No, I’m afraid they just won’t budge. It technically meets legal requirements on paper, and we can’t prove that the chemicals affecting the local ecosystem that have no other possible source are from the out-of-date drainage system… they’re saying it would cost too much to fix the place up too, which is ridiculous, because we’re us, but our hands are tied…

Bruce, full Brucie himbo mode: Oh I just feel so SAD for all the sweet fluffy animals and the pretty flowers and especially our hard workers dealing with such unsafe conditions… I think I’ll give them all a nice short vacation this weekend, so the ENTIRE PLACE will be EMPTY and SHUT DOWN from FRIDAY TO TUESDAY, the SECURITY SYSTEM WILL BE DOWN because it’s just so GLITCHY, I’m sure nothing will happen to the ENVIRONMENTAL STAIN ON OUR COMPANIES NAME THAT WILL BE COMPLETELY ABANDONED FROM FRIDAY TO TUESDAY- Timmy do you think I’m being too subtle?

Tim, snickering: no no you’re doing great Bruce I’m sure they’ve got it

Poison Ivy, on a date the next table over: ( ‘-‘)-☕️

Harley, through tears of repressed laughter: so… we doing anythin’ this weekend?

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

You’re welcome

Your annual reminder to not donate to Salvation Army!

random lloyd garmadon headcanons

(hcs under the cut because this is a lot y’all)

(also yes this is a repost and redone ver. of my last one but lets pretend it isn’t)

🐉💐🎧🏙️⚔️🛹🐲📜

he likes to collect cool acorns, leaves, and rocks

when he was younger he used to think nya was the prettiest girl ever (this isnt a ship thing ew they’re siblings 😭)

after he turned into an oni in s16 he got like side effects (?) of it so he has small horns

in s2 before he grew up, lloyd and jay made friendship bracelets for everyone that were color-coded and somehow they havent gotten destroyed

he has read all the percy jackson books (argue with the wall)

even though he does drink coffee, its like 80% creamer and 20% actual coffee

he only buys fun/coloful bandaids

lloyd still watches cartoons like adventure time, pokemon, otgw, gravity falls, amphibia, toh, etc. (he sobbed over the amphibia s3 finale. no i’m not projecting.)

lloyd loves building pillow forts and him and the others will build like full on pillow castles for movie nights

from his dragon heritage he has small green dragon scales on his shoulders thats he’s insecure about

lloyd has a few freckles on his cheeks but they’re pretty light/faded so you can only see them if you're really close

lloyd is always doodling on things and he has an old worn sketchbook with a bunch of starfarer stickers on it that has a shit ton of doodles in it

his entire closet consists of graphic tee’s he has impulsively bought at 4am and hoodies stolen from the others

LLOYD GARMADON IS A SWIFTIE. his favorite albums are folklore, midnights, and 1989. amen.

additionally he also listens to cavetown, Harry Styles, Mac DeMarco, Declan McKenna, Arctic Monkeys, the cure, beabadoobee, and Current Joys

he has a stick-and-poke tattoo of a beetle on his chest that he somehow managed to keep a secret from everyone for a good year

when he was little he played with ladybugs and rolly pollies and frogs by the pond at darkly’s

he secretly prefers pretty as a compliment over handsome

his love languages are acts of service and physical touch

lloyd is known by the team to make awful puns at any given change

lloyd’s comfort movies are tangled and fantastic mr fox

he also loves all the studio ghibli movies!

lloyd 100% reads fanfiction and has a million tabs open on ao3

he obvi reads starfarer comics but also reads marvel ones too

Andrew Garfield’s Spiderman >>> all the others

he still loves to prank people (he’s an awful little shit <3 /aff)

he also still has a HORRIBLE sweet tooth

he can and WILL NOT HESITATE to bite you

he’s like 5’5 and so bitter about it

he has a terrible potty mouth and swears a ton when the others around around to stop him

he is SUCH an animal person and has tried to bring stray cats home on MULTIPLE different occasions

he skateboards everywhere

ever since s9 he started wearing his hair up all the time

he used to have red eyes from his dad but once he got his powers they turned green

he also has fangs from his dad

he always scrunches his nose unconsciously

he’s a super heavy sleeper when he’s not on a mission and if you don’t stop him he WILL sleep in till noon

🐉💐🎧🏙️⚔️🛹🐲📜