Student Self-care: But Not Necessarily The Feel-good Kind Edition

Please tell me it's okay that I just failed a class. I came this far, then bombed a big project and it's an automatic fail. I had to drop the class.

FUCK YES. ITS OKAY TO FAIL.

Sometimes we try and try and try but in the end we still fail. I honestly have been there so many times.

I did an assignment for cognition last year. I started on the first day and spend A LOT of time on it. Guess what? I got 10%.

I did a stats test before and I spend a shit load of time studying and doing past papers. Guess what? I got 0. A big fucking zero.

I spent 4 years swimming and going to every single training session. Guess what? At every race I got LAST PLACE. 

I spend 2 years doing table tennis. Every session we had competitions against my team mates who were 4 years younger then me. Guess what? I lost every session, every competition to EVERYONE.

When I fail, I literally sob my eyes out because it fucking hurts. It hurts because I have tried so hard and got nothing. It hurts because everyone who tried less seemed to have done much better then me. So then I start asking myself “why do I even bother trying?!”

And then slowly these things will start creeping up on me:

If I didn’t try then I might have failed worse

There is literally no where to go but up now

Now I know where I went wrong. Now I can try TWICE as hard.

Fuck this piece of paper. In the end its just a piece of paper. I am alive and well and I am not going to let a piece of paper to defeat me. 

Whatever it takes. Even if I fail again, I am going to crawl back up on my hands and knees.

Does it work? Honestly, sometimes. Failure still hurts but I am crawling up. I am crying but I am still going. Tomorrow, I will wake up having failed but it will hurt less. Tomorrow I will try and try and try again. 

so i finished my first year of college last month and thought i’d share things i learned and advice on entering and starting your first year 

keep a planner

take advantage of student id discounts

try to go to class as much as possible

in cases that you don’t go, make sure you have a friend, or at least someone who will fill you in and give you notes, in each class

network as soon as you can and as often as you can

wait a week or two until you purchase your textbooks, people aren’t lying to you, they’re expensive as fuuuccckkk, you’ll want to wait for multiple reasons because in some cases you never even end up using the book, or your library has it and you can just borrow it for free

wear flip flops in the shower if you don’t have your own bathroom

speaking of, go to the bathroom before class

set multiple alarms

take advantage of as many opportunities that come your way as possible

MAKE CONNECTIONS

have a very, very open mind

watch your drink

watch your friend’s drinks too

never, ever, ever, ever, ever, under ANY circumstances, drive while intoxicated or get into a car with a driver who is 

get to know your professors

do the extra credit, it’s rare

back up your files

if you take your laptop with you somewhere bring your charger as well

take the stairs, seriously, a little goes a long way

99.9999% of people don’t give a shit about what you were in high school

try to plan and work ahead

never travel alone late at night

don’t hesitate to ask for help—material that took a week to learn in high school can be taught in one lecture in a college class, no one will slow down for you or help you unless you speak up

participate in class

again, talk to your professors, it’s good to in general, and you never know how they can help you outside of class

if you have a problem with your roommate, if you’re not getting along with them, or it’s not working, do something about it ASAP

keep in touch with those you care about, don’t burn bridges

it’s ok if you don’t make friends immediately, it took me awhile to find people i could truly be satisfied with, sometimes it happens when you’re not looking

take this to heart: do things you wouldn’t ordinarily do before. the best things i did this past school year were things i never tried in high school, going on trips with people i didn’t know, who i now call some of the closest friends i have, and going on service work trips out of state

build up your gpa in the beginning by taking classes that are not as tough in your first semester, a gpa is harder to bring up than to knock down, tldr; start strong, start easy

grades matter, BUT, don’t sacrifice your health and well being for them

get enough sleep, you can, i did

don’t base your decisions off what other people would think but if something goes against your morals, stick with your morals

take care of yourself and your body, just because it’s free does not mean you have to eat it, college is the perfect time to make your physical health crash and burn but it is also the perfect time to start having a healthier one

take the time to check over assignments you’re submitting

ratemyprofessor.com is your bff, use it and reference it

sign up for a variety of activities and test out the water to see what you like most

early classes are not that bad

attend campus events

know what’s going on on campus, don’t be clueless in your own environment

get involved in clubs and groups that are associated with your major…but also stuff that isn’t

and if a group/organization that’s associated with your major, like for me PRSSA, has a membership fee, it’s probably worth it

explore your city, campus, downtown….

try to get an internship before it’s required

get a LinkedIn account

always keep an umbrella and a phone charger on hand

make friends with as many people as you can, but don’t “collect” friends, ya know?

go to job fairs/career fairs

it’s ok to stay in sometimes and just j chill

decorate and personalize your room

when preparing to register for classes, make a mock schedule first

find a mentor(s)

first impressions are a big fucking deal

you don’t have to put on a ball gown, but put an effort into the way you represent yourself

make a budget 

Would You Admit You? genericappblrurl’s College Essay Masterpost

Here it is: the college essay masterpost. Keep in mind that if you’ve written an essay that fits the description of any of the “don’t do this!” bits, it’s not a reflection on you as a person. The makings of a good college essay are, at times, entirely counterintuitive, so many of the errors in here seem completely justified.

The most important thing to consider when writing a college essay is the degree to which you pass the Turing Test. Basically, do you sound like a person? Even if you think the answer is yes, spoiler alert! There’s a decent chance it’s no. Why? Well, consider the fact that each admissions officer at any selective school reads hundreds, probably thousands of essays per year. Now, consider the fact that most of them have been doing their job for multiple years. That’s a heckton of essays, my friends. That’s so many. And after a while, they all seem to blur together. Now, you might be thinking, hey, but my essay talks about an extremely personal struggle/experience/situation!!! Well, yeah. But so does literally everyone else’s. Even if the specific content of your essay is different, the essay structure itself is still the same. If you designed a computer program that could write college essays, the resulting pieces would look just like the vast majority of college essays that land on any given admissions officer’s desk, and they’d end up in the same sad pile. With that in mind, let’s get started.

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W R I T I N G

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The Common App Essay/Personal Statement

From an email I sent to a student whose essay I reviewed: “Something to keep in mind is that the amount that any essay says about you is entirely dependent on your writing. You could write an essay about bagels that says a lot about you; you could write a deeply personal piece that says nothing. The mistake that many applicants tend to make is thinking that the subject matter itself has to be something profound; oftentimes, essays like this fall short because their authors put all their energy into writing about something personal and barely any of it into writing well.”

The common app essay/personal statement comes with a few prompts that, in many cases, immediately result in a “Hey! I know exactly what to write about!” And, in many cases, this immediate response is way off base. The prompts are designed as such; these days, when almost everyone has good grades and SAT scores, the essays are the only real way to tell who’s the very best. Even though your story - that immediate response - may be intensely personal, a key component of who you are, it’s still an immediate response to a prompt, and chances are every other person who chose that prompt immediately thought of a similar story from their own life.

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Key Ideas: Spin it differently, think smaller, keep it positive.

Unless you have a story on par with the plot of Jane The Virgin, be careful. Your struggle to improve your grades/win that competition/make friends/overcome your fears just isn’t that compelling. That doesn’t mean it’s not important; it just isn’t good college essay material unless you can find a way to spin it differently.

If you’re writing about an identity or talent, be sure to think first about the other people in the world who share that identity or talent. What makes your story different?

If you’re writing about overcoming an obstacle such as mental or physical illness, don’t make it a pity party, but don’t become detached. What makes your resilience unique?

Now, something that a lot of people don’t realize is that this essay can also go smaller. You wouldn’t be you without your love of bagels, hatred of carpeted floors, etc. so don’t shy away from writing about something other than a Deeply Personal Struggle Or Experience. These are often the essays that go far, solely because they go against the grain and admissions officers are tired of the monotony. These are the essays that get a “Hey Sue, look at this one!” And voila, a second read.

One other thing to note is that while this background may be painful - mental illness, deported parent, etc - you need to find a way to end on a positive note. A pity party won’t get you in. Regardless of how much the content of the essay makes your admissions officer cry, what they’re looking for is resilience.

Prompt 2: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Key Ideas: Plot twist, think smaller, get weird.

The difficulties with this prompt are similar to the first - the essay that first strikes you is just not that compelling. Nobody wants to hear another “I failed a test and studied hard and aced the class!!” essay. Unless your specific incident of failure was wholly unique - maybe you didn’t pull the parachute string on time when skydiving and are now writing this with two broken legs - you’re going to need to think of something else. There are a few easy ways to do this.

Plot twist. You failed in a common way, but your response was super weird. Introduce this weirdness from the beginning. Pro tip: studying hard after failing is not weird.

Think smaller. This one is more creative writing than life story. Think of a really tiny instance of failure - maybe you slipped on the stairs! maybe you cut one nail slightly too short! - and write a mock epic.

Get hella experimental. Use an unconventional format - I know a girl who wrote hers as a series of limericks - or write from an unconventional perspective.

There are certainly other successful essays that aren’t written as one of the three outlined above, so don’t be afraid to do what you think is best. Still, remember to keep in mind the necessity of setting yourself apart.

Prompt 3: Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

Key Ideas: Stay humble.

The biggest mistake I see with this prompt is the tendency to wax philosophical & come across as someone who thinks they’re profound. Pro tip: that’s not a good thing. If you think you have something profound to say, write about something else. Seriously. It comes through & it’s not flattering. Note that this is absolutely different from being genuinely passionate about something; let your passion show, but curb your self-righteousness.

Prompt 4: Describe a problem you’ve solved or a problem you’d like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma - anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

Key Ideas: Stay humble, avoid waxing, let your passion show, get weird.

Many people who choose this prompt use it as an opportunity to wax philosophical about a Big Bad World Issue, but unless you have a truly unique take, don’t bother. Admissions officers have read thousands of essays about the importance of solving world hunger, widespread ignorance, etc. so unless they’ll actually gain something new by reading yours specifically you should steer clear. Some other options for this essay include:

Choosing a smaller problem

Dramatization

An opinion piece on something trivial

And, again, there are many more beyond these, but this is a good starting point if you find yourself stuck.

One other thing to keep in mind is authorial distance. You want to stay close to whatever you choose to write. It needs to feel personal, whatever it is. It needs to feel like you.

Prompt 5: Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Key Ideas: Plot twist, think smaller, get weird, stay close.

A story of this nature is obviously personally important by definition, but it’s remarkably easy to write one that falls flat and blends in with the crowd. The most prominent issue I’ve seen with essays that use this prompt is the tendency to step back from the event in question through word choice and excessive summarization. What this essay calls for, fundamentally, is a sense of closeness and a feeling that we, as readers, are experiencing it for ourselves. If you’re not ready to get intensely personal, choose a different prompt.

For those of you who choose to write about a formal event or accomplishment, you have two workable options. First, you could write about an event that, while formal, is obscure. Maybe it’s a family tradition to run the perimeter of the city on your 15th birthday while carrying a pineapple. If your event/accomplishment falls into this category, you’re good to go. If it doesn’t, though, you’ll need to tell a truly unique story about the well-recognized event. This can be done through either plot or structure. Did something weird happen? Good. Did everything go according to plan? Spin it differently. Write about your bat mitzvah from the perspective of some relevant non-human object. Write about registering to vote in the format of a screenplay. Bonus points if you have a weird story and an interesting framing device or style.

For those of you who choose to write about an informal event or accomplishment, you’ll have an easier time setting yourself apart because you could write about literally anything. Still, the advice above holds. You’ll either need a story that, plotwise, goes in unexpected directions, or you’ll need to choose a style or framing device that makes an essay about something standard seem like a New York Times bestseller. Ultimately, your goal is to make the admissions team want to keep reading. How you do this is up to you.

Summary: Make the reader care. Make the reader want to keep reading. Seriously, that’s it.

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The “Why _______” Essay

A good “Why _____” essay shows what you care about. These essays are usually much shorter - generally only about 150 to 250 words - so being concise here is key. As a general rule, if what you wrote could be found in a brochure, delete it. Reading the brochure and liking what it says doesn’t make for a compelling essay. Instead, think smaller. Write about a conversation you had, an interaction you witnessed, etc. and do so in a personal manner. Keep your authorial distance as small as possible. Get weird. Choose a formatting style that fits your story. If you can say something to the admissions officers that they haven’t already heard before, chances are you’ll do much better.

For a more detailed procedure, click here.

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The Identity Essay

Several schools ask for a short essay about an identity that affects/matters to you in some context. The same advice from the Common App applies to this essay as well. If the identity itself is not unique, write about a unique way in which you interact with it. If you’re given a specific context, write about an identity that normally would not be associated with that context. For example, in my RA application, I was asked to write about how some aspect of my identity influences how I approach conversations about diversity. I could’ve written about being bisexual, Jewish, etc, but instead I wrote about being white and how my whiteness influences the ways in which I approach these conversations. Remember, finally, to keep it personal; don’t wax philosophical about the identity in question. For bonus points, see if you can somehow mention other identities somewhere in there. This isn’t mandatory, but showing that you understand intersectionality is always a plus.

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The “Respond To This Quote” Essay

This is a super common supplemental essay question, and it’s easy to get stuck when responding to it. The process that I used for this essay went something like this:

Brainstorm. Read the quote and write down everything that comes to your mind in response. This should be closer to a bulleted list than a paragraph; multiple thought trains are what you want to see. To really push yourself, set a timer for ten minutes and force yourself to write for the whole time.

Take a break, then brainstorm again. You’d be surprised at how much you can generate when forced to sit and write for a while.

Look at your clusterfuck of thoughts. Physically cross out anything that doesn’t seem writeable. Physically put a star next to anything you think you’d be excited to write. Don’t think too much about this; go with your gut.

Don’t waste time trying to find the “best” idea! Close your eyes, stick your finger on the page, and write about whichever starred idea is closest to your finger.

Write! And write! And write! Your first draft should be terrible and messy and structurally questionable! Just write!

Take a break, then read over what you wrote and figure out what it says about you. Now, what do you want it to say about you?

Figure out how to get from point A to point B. Which words should you change? Which sentences should you delete? What framing device would best convey what you want to convey? Form the completest plan possible.

Execute!

Read it again, repeat steps 6-9 as necessary until you’re happy.

Some extra tips: this essay is about you, not the quote. The quote is a framing device to get you to reveal more about who you are as a person. Thus, tone and style are crucial. Feel free to take stylistic risks; feel free to get weird. This isn’t a literary analysis.

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Any Essay That Requires You To Discuss A Book

is not a book report. See extra tips above.

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The “Talk About A ______ You Love/Admire” Essay

Since this one is super open-ended it’s hard to give concrete “do this and don’t do this” type advice. In general, your goal is still to make the reader want to keep reading. By the end of this essay, your admissions officer should desperately want to google the noun in question, but keep in mind that this is, again, an essay that should reveal something about you. What the reader gets from this essay should exceed that which they could find on Wikipedia, in a biography, etc.; you have to show passion. This is not the place to stay detached or academic; get personal. Love and admire are two strong words and you need to do them justice.

If you find yourself falling into the Wikipedia trap, consider:

Telling a story about [noun] that’s specific to your life. This is always a good bet tbh

Examining your narrative distance. Care harder!

Making a list of things you love about [noun] using the timer method I described in the quote essay section. Go with two minutes instead of ten. This may lead you to see something you wouldn’t have thought to write about beforehand.

Just writing. Stream of consciousness, no pressure to make it good writing. See where it takes you. See which format you naturally fall into.

If all else fails, choosing a different topic.

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The Extracurricular Essay

Unless you do some completely unheard-of independent work, you’re not the only one who’s participated in a given extracurricular activity. Given this, you have to set yourself apart in other ways. Many of the main problems seen in various common app essays resurface in this one: standard perseverance stories, excessive summarization, etc. Depending on the wording of the prompt, your response will be slightly different, but regardless of wording keep in mind that the essay is about you and your relationship to the activity.

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The Leadership Essay

This is a fairly common category as well. When writing about leadership, you’ll have a much higher success rate if you choose a narrative-based essay over one that merely summarizes your experiences. The same advice for all these other essays applies here, too; in order to set yourself apart, you need to tell a different story or you need to tell a familiar story differently, bonus points if both. Stay humble. Show instead of telling. Convince the admissions team that leadership is part of who you are, not just something you did to get into college.

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Stanford’s Supplement

What Matters To You & Why?

Tell a story. Tell a story they haven’t heard. This is truly the place to be yourself. It doesn’t matter what you indicated as your intended major; it doesn’t matter what your extracurriculars were; just answer honestly. I wrote about discovery, I have a friend who wrote about bagels. Regardless of the topic you choose, you have to convince the reader that it actually does matter to you. Keep your narrative distance as small as possible unless you’re making a deliberate stylistic choice; be as vivid as possible in your imagery. Make whatever it is matter to the reader too. Make it feel real.

Intellectual Vitality

This post is great and says everything I would’ve said anyway. Key idea: show them how your mind works.

Letter To Your Future Roommate

Be as weird as you are. Let’s be real: nobody reads a letter from someone that starts with “

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Other Essays/In Summary

If you’re facing a prompt that doesn’t appear on this list, take the general advice and run with it. In summary:

tell a story that hasn’t been told before

you don’t have to write about something inherently ~profound~

keep a close narrative distance unless you’re making a specific & deliberate stylistic choice not to

what matters most is that the reader wants to keep reading

avoid waxing anything other than passionate

vivid imagery is your friend

summarization is hardly ever useful

personal doesn’t mean unique

don’t be afraid to stray from the “traditional” format

have fun with it!

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E D I T I N G

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Common Questions

What do I do if I know a phrase sounds weird but I don’t know how to fix it?

Option 1: Read the phrase out loud. What do you want it to convey? Write several different variations of this on a note/side document and see if any of them work better. Adjust surrounding phrases accordingly.

Option 2: Delete the phrase altogether and read the piece without it. What meaning is now missing? What sort of transition is needed? Try to fill the gap. Does it work? If not, delete the replacement, take a ten minute break, and try again.

Option 3: Check the bits surrounding the offending phrase. The root of the problem might lie elsewhere, so don’t get yourself all worked up trying to fix the wrong part!

Option 4: Ask someone for their opinion. Maybe they’ll see a solution that wouldn’t immediately have crossed your mind!

What do I do if a friend/parent/mentor says that a phrase sounds awkward but I don’t think there’s anything wrong?

Ask. Always ask. Unless they gave you specific guidance, you won’t have any idea how to fix this unless you ask. There’s no shame in this; everybody wants you to succeed! If you still don’t see the problem, getting multiple other opinions can be helpful. Ask another friend/parent/mentor to read over the section in question, and if they do point it out but don’t give useful feedback it’s best to delete it and try Option 2 above.

I’m way over word count, but I don’t want to compromise the integrity of the piece! How can I cut down effectively without losing anything important?

How many words do you need to cut? If you’re more than 20% over word count, consider starting from scratch. If you’re not:

Identify redundancies. Highlight these and find a way to consolidate them.

Read your introduction, if you have one. Oftentimes, these words just take up space and don’t add anything to the piece. If your introduction is just a result of years of being told that you need one and doesn’t actually add anything meaningful to the essay, delete it all. Starting from the middle can actually be surprisingly effective!

Same goes for the conclusion. You don’t need to wrap things up like you would in a literary analysis or a research paper; you just need to end strongly.

Identify phrases that could be simplified and simplify them. Did you lose anything important? If so, revert the edit, highlight the section, and come back to it later if you’re really pressed for words.

Contractions are fine. Seriously.

Identify sections that just straight up don’t need to be there. Many people add unnecessary clarification, pointless parentheticals, etc. Not only do these deplete your word supply; they clutter your essay and make it less enjoyable to read. Don’t feel bad if you end up cutting entire paragraphs!

If you use “very” at all, cut it & replace the following words with a stronger one. This one is very important crucial!

Is it okay to be way under word count?

Technically yes, but practically it’s rarely the case that you’ll be able to answer the prompt meaningfully without at least getting close. If you feel done, let yourself be done, but revisit the piece later to confirm. Maybe you’re the master of being ridiculously concise, but chances are that an essay that doesn’t even approach the word limit doesn’t effectively answer the prompt.

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General Advice

Go through line by line and mark everything that leaves you less than satisfied

Read like an admissions officer. Would you admit you? Do your best to rid yourself of personal bias and just read as a reader.

Unless you’re working with someone who does this regularly, get at least two opinions on anything you write from two very different people in your life. You have no idea who’ll be reading your essay in the end, so a variety of voices in your feedback can be useful.

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R E A D I N G

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When a friend asks you for feedback on an essay, it can be difficult to remain impartial while editing. The most important thing to keep in mind, though, is that lying to spare their feelings will only do them dirty in the end. So yes, be as critical as you need to be. If something sucks, tell them. But - and this is important - stay friendly. Stay pleasant. Stay constructive. Don’t say “this sucks,” say “I think this section should be reworked so that ______.” And prior to even saying a word about the piece, ask them what sort of feedback they’d find most useful. Those of you who have worked with me before know that this is how I start any editing relationship. This won’t constrain your feedback, necessarily, but it will dictate the manner in which you give it. If your friend has written an absolutely atrocious second paragraph but has asked only for comments on “overall flow,” tell them that the second paragraph interrupts the flow of the rest of the piece because of X Y and Z. It’s not wrong, and it’s not unnecessarily hurtful; your friend will examine the second paragraph carefully and rewrite it to fix X Y and Z, which would have been your goal anyway.

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A D D I T I O N A L   R E S O U R C E S

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Essays that worked:

Remember: inspiration, not emulation. Copying an idea never turns out well; admissions officers are trained to sniff this out.

Johns Hopkins - Essays That Worked

Tufts - Essays That Worked

Hamilton - Essays That Worked

50 Successful Harvard Essays (amazon link with free preview)

I’m not kidding about being weird

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If you have any specific questions about anything in here, feel free to ask. If you have an essay that you’d like me to read over, check out my contact page for submission details.

Best of luck with this admissions season! I’m rooting for you!

Snape protecting Harry, Ron and Hermione from Werewolf Lupin

How To NOT Be Depressed.

(Or If You Prefer — How to Be Substantially Happy About Life.) 

WARNING: This is one rollercoaster ride of a post. Proceed with extreme caution. For some, the staggering levels of insight may induce true purpose and re-establish their warrior spirit. For others, side effects may include grammatically incorrect hate or aloof eyerolls. We advise exiting if the said group includes you, for we’re very tired of cleaning vomit off the seats.

Step aboard at your own risk.

If you’re one of the brave souls who stayed back to join us, I congratulate you for even I am scared of how crazy this post truly is. Alrighty then, kick back and relax folks, today we’re having a mature, adult conversation. Merely another cheery afternoon spent talking about life and its realities. Not too bad, eh?

Before we begin, spoiler alert! For those of you already turned off by the mention of ‘depression’ and packing their bunnies to leave, sit tight. This ISN’T really about depression. This is about HAPPINESS. No clickbait. That got your attention, right butterfly? Nice, now stay.

A welcoming, maybe demanding A/N: Do me a favor and read this in one go. Maybe even plug in those headphones and listen to the songs dedicated to each part as you read. It’s long, you have the new Riverdale episode to catch up on, but don’t hop away just yet because (I had a couple moments writing this, alright) it’s life changing. You’ll prolly cry a few tears of realization, nod all nod-able body parts in agreement, beat your chest at random instants 'cause the hype’s too real, and perhaps, if it isn’t too much to hope for, finally go change your life for the better. In case you’ve forgotten, this’ll remind you that there’s always hope, that you’re a born conqueror, and you were made to THRIVE, not survive. Convinced? Kay, roll the cams.

   To clarify first-hand, no, I’m not depressed although I’ve experienced mild depression for a period before. Glad to say I’m out of it but I still struggle with tackling what I’m about to detail next.

Insert bitter voice, it’s this: My life is nowhere near I want it to be. Though I know vaguely what I wanna do, I haven’t yet figured out how the hell I’m supposed to get there, or how my dream life is to be sketched out. It’s all a blurry mess. Which, to put it bluntly, hurts. I HATE feeling powerless and worthless, roaming about aimlessly.

There are many such moments where I hit the brakes to wonder why I’m not living THE Life already. There have been several times when I curl up and cry a frickin’ Amazon. There are horrible nights where I’m shaking with emotions, but they won’t release, leaving me choked. (…not in that way, you hoes. Um, just ruined the dramatic mood with a lame dirty joke, sorry.)

   They say talking helps and that’s why I figured I’d drop in. But perhaps more importantly, I wanted to hang because no matter how unfocused the lens may seem at my future, I don’t consider myself a dopey loser incapable of the crazy dreams or wild bucket lists I fantasize about– and I thought I’d skip along to remind you that neither should you. (Or maybe I just came to sniff the new appetizers, who knows?)

PS: I also broke a sweat listing six ways to get outta depression– alternatively, to be more of a conqueror– because y'all are always pestering me with asks that go “how do I conquer omg send supplies” (Like, imagine a conqueror saying that! Oh, the crime, the atrocity!)

So yes, you’re welcome. Have a feast with this litness.  

The main reason behind people being so frightfully sad, I’ve found, is a huge lack of fulfillment. We don’t do what we love, for either— [ 1 ] we aren’t living life the way we want to (since we keep doing things we feel we’re supposed to do) OR [ 2 ] because Mama, Papa and Mrs. Carter next door feel that struggling is the only way, and project their traditional beliefs onto us. Either way, whether or not we consciously realize this, subconsciously, we’re all hurting because of it. Badly.

That lingering feeling of emptiness never seems to leave. You feel drained every night when you drop into bed, not because you gave it your all, but because you couldn’t. And so, we do the next best thing. Drugs. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. We numb out this subconscious pain by binge watching Netflix shows. We deaden ourselves to that discomfort by reading smut in the bathroom or by playing dumb video games all day. We try (and fail) to extinguish this feeling of not ‘being enough’ by having silly flings or fake friendships.

And ultimately, we NUMB ourselves out to LIFE for we can’t bear to live the way we’re living. There’s a reason why “How to Stop Procrastinating” posts are so popular (they’re a blogger’s most foolproof way of paying the month’s rent, and yes, even I’m guilty of a couple). We’re constantly having FOMO and tuning into others’ highlights on social media– completely missing out on our own lives in the process. We fail to realize that the culprit is lack of genuine purpose more than zero self-control (or maybe it’s both, but that’s a tale for another day).

[On a side note, obviously I did generalize a bit– video games can be a passion for you, watching shows a way of winding down. But for most, they’re only DISTRACTIONS, just another way of ignoring the calls of life by hanging up the phone.]

   And here’s the bitter truth about depression: The longer you wait to start living authentically, the more you start tuning out the inner cries wanting change, the faster your dreams start to ebb away, and the more you’ll want to become insignificant. And to me, that’s the scariest part of this journey to my dream life.

Nothing frightens me more than knowing that the moment I stop pushing, the very moment I give in to distractions and fears, my goals will stop manifesting themselves and I’ll be stuck in this small town with its small people eternally. And THAT, I’m certain, won’t be any more fun than working your way through a soggy ham sandwich, ironic as soggy is what life has become. (Yes, I have a thing against soggy sandwiches. They were a kid’s worst lunch nightmare.)

   If you relate, and I’m sure you do (it’s probably why you stopped scrolling through cheesy fanfic for ten minutes to read this, I know you amigo) — here are six ways to NOT be depressed. Or more accurately, to gift wrap yourself some sweet ol’ happiness.

You’re a Samurai and the Following Be Your Katanas —

Hol’ up. The second you reach the End Card, I want you to drop your Cheerios and implement at least THREE of these six strategies. Just follow the Takeaways, I’ve made this really simple. And as a rule, one of them has to be this one. (Look, don’t whine. If you wanna climb outta that dark hole, you gotta put in some effort. So pop that booty, and let’s get down to business!)

Here’s the most truthful, though cheesy thing I’ll ever say: I would be nowhere I am today without this blog. If not for it, I would most likely be weeping in a dug-out hole somewhere, drowning in my salty little pond of tears and chiming every loser’s favorite words (“there’s no point”). Creating this blog gave me a definite purpose – putting out fiery content, dipping myself deep into my newly found passion for writing and influencing, and connecting with other conquerors on the platform.  

I meet a lot of folks, whether at Sad School, Mouldy Mall, or Boring Bus stop, who always seem to be in a state of death-inducing boredom. When asked about their favorite thing to do, they’ll mumble “sleep” or “food” like Siri narrating your cat’s evening routine. And then you see adults, dragging through life mindlessly. Utterly clueless, floating like a piece of driftwood in an ocean bubbling with life. My sympathy quota gets overdosed everytime I think about it.

   To spell it out, find something to do. Anything! Learn a language, try some ballet, take pictures of your neighbor’s rose garden, make an art piece and show it to your mom, stitch buttons onto shirts for fun, heck, make an entire shirt out of buttons, take a break from reading smut to write your own, frutify your farts, WHATEVER, just get up and move.

And here’s why – nay, not to keep you engaged or make you feel less worthless, not that bullcrap. It’s to put in gear the journey of figuring out what is the shite that you love doing. Too often we get stuck thinking about what our oh-so-great passion is. Get this, passion is energy. A spark for something. A magical fortune cookie which, when cracked, seems to explain everything, gives you the very reason for being alive. You can only feel that fire, that wild love, when you actually do it. So get cracking is all I’ll say!

Takeaway:

Attempt something. Nah, scratch that, imagine you’re in a sweet shop with shelves lined with free samples and try everything. Pick up that Polaroid cam, take that dreaded history course, buy that children’s cooking kit– in short, start working. Pull out all the stops, get curious, and get creative. In the process, if you promise to try hard enough, you WILL (money back guarantee) find out what makes your little heart burst with mad happiness and would willingly do for free, if needed, because you really are that crazy about it. And that, my dear, will be your oh-so-great-indeed passion. Have no doubt, you’ll never be “bored” again.

Real talk, having a dream is a big deal. And unfortunately, I’ve witnessed, rarely anyone has one to begin with. They’re either more dead than the cheap skeleton I bought for Halloween or believe they have a dream, but in reality, it belongs to mom, dad, or Uncle Sammy. Listen, doing something for someone you love (my Uncle Sammy used to supply me with cold cash whenever he came around, loved that guy) is great! YET, if you’re willing to throw away your life to fulfill others’ expectations, convincing yourself it’s because they love you, even when YOUR lonely heart craves bigger things than just a marketing job, then you, my friend? Are the biggest fool. Don’t get offended, we both know it, this girl needn’t ramble.

Recently, my relatives were over (nope, sadly not Uncle Sammy) and my cousin and I had a chat about life (correct, I grab every opportunity to do so). It wasn’t very exciting I must say, he kept staring off into the distance (I wonder why), but what he SAID is what I’ll talk about. After I’d gushed about my dreams, he asked skeptically if being an influencer would still be an ambition two years from now when I graduate. I raised my eyebrows, mock hurt, like eff you son, I ain’t giving up on my dreams! But that question got me thinking.

Life is wild. Unpredictable. An unexpected call, a single person, a random BLOG POST (cough) – can turn your life upside down, sometimes in the affirmative, other times not. This variability of life isn’t uncommon, and everyone experiences some part of it– unpaid student loans, failing startups, talent and art going unnoticed in industries dominated by wealth and connections, you name it. If all of that doesn’t make you run for the Himalayas and abandon any dreams, throw in a quick side dish of dysfunctionale famiglia with a sprinkle of self-image issues.

It ain’t easy, darling. The world is one cruel headmistress; it loves slapping awake the daydreamers and wishful thinkers. That hasn’t ever actually stopped the dropouts and class clowns from building castles in the air though. And the common blueprint you notice they follow? Let me introduce you to…  Madness. Obsession. Maniacal obsession, to say. (Yes, I’m done playing with my words.)

   I struggled writing this point. A pestering voice in my head kept mumbling – They’ll go back to doing the same sad shit anyway. Um, does anyone even read your posts? Lol, call yourself an influencer, hun. Hesitation started creeping in. Then the irony of the situation struck me. I laughed, shook my head and got back to typing.

We ran out of juicy gossip weeks ago, so here’s your tea served cold: insecurities and self doubt WILL get in the way. That whiny voice was just a mild version of what you face when you go all in. Fear traps you in its cage, and those who prattled behind your back now progress to talking shit in your face. Criticism and self doubt resurfaces, so unless your defenses are strong, you’ll be crushed. Destroyed REAL quick.

When hell breaks loose (oh honey, and it WILL), your self defense comprising of maniacal obsession must be well learnt. Let them attack, mock, heck, drag you away from the desk and hurl you at the top of a damn mountain, but you better STILL hike back down, show them the middle finger, and continue working. That’s how bulletproof you’ve gotta be. That’s how madly do you have to love your dreams. And if you really think this will be a cake walk or want to continue complaining about Stuart being born with a silver spoon, hop off the train already. Your destination isn’t on the tour list.

Look, my dreams terrify me. But they certainly make me feel more alive than complying with what every parent said about getting good grades and holding together a roof on my head. My ambitions set me free, give me a reason to fucking live. And yet, every now and then, something makes me question them. A fear engulfs me, some doubter proclaims I suck, someone I love is so blinded they can’t see my vision. And that’s okay. My defenses are way stronger. The next day rolls round, and you’ll find me hustling again, thriving again. All because I know that even if no one reads my posts (the worst case scenario, I know y'all love me lol), someday in the future, someone will. I know that even if I’m not an influencer yet, if just one reader becomes a conqueror because of my words, it would be a win. A big win. I’d have done my job. All because I’m wildly, yes maniacally, obsessed with my dreams.

So hey, cousin? This influencer thing? This will be my dream long after I’ve graduated. Till the day I die, and maybe even then I’ll rise from my grave to give a dead pal a lively pep talk. My watchtower has just been upgraded, so thank u, next.

Takeaway: 

“General, we’ve arrived!” Finally! Position those cannons, Martha, let’s talk them through the defenses. All aboard? AHOY MATEY! (wait, that was one for the pirates). Step one, dare to create a dream in your mind’s eye. The bigger, the crazier, and the scarier, the better. Doesn’t matter how impossible it is, don’t care how many voice their opinion against it, just imagine, keep a million possibilities in mind.

Once you see the life you truly want (you’ll know, everything will seem to zing)— have a sip. Become OBSESSED for that life. Thirst after that vision, itch to manifest it, and pine for the satisfaction that’ll come to your soul once it’s made a reality. Fall madly in love with the process and how magical it feel when you do it. And THEN, bellow a loud war cry and charge headfirst into battle, shields held high at all the criticisms. We conquerors never cared much for them anyway.

(play ♬) Picture this: forehead stamped with beads of sweat. Calloused hands working their fingers to the bone and eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. Conjure an image where powerful beats are pulsing hard in your ears, synced with your own elevated heartbeats, and you’re thriving. Performing. Winning. Guess the secret to that? Preparation. Champions prepare. You can’t throw anything to the winds or rely on ‘luck’ or chance to conquer.

Tough days are in everyone’s calendar, be it your extra cheerful neighbor, Sally, or lone wolf classmate, Derrick. We’ve all found ourselves sulking over an awful situation, scooping into mint ice cream to forget mistakes, errands, and ghosting exes. Yet guess what? The solution isn’t the proclaimed “be positive!” or “It all happens for a reason, don’t you worry” - the key is coming up with a method to dodge the discouraging effect these hiccups have on us.   

So every bad day, I bring out a mason jar containing a knot of chits and one secret letter which is, on most days, kept hidden on the top shelf of my cupboard. I make myself comfortable on the bed, read all my bits of paper carefully, including the letter addressed to yours truly, close my eyes, and mentally fight back whatever’s bringing me down.

A short while later, I get up, now a warrior, and go slay the rest of the day like it was my last one on this planet. That jar is my jar. A Conqueror’s jar. One look at those powerful reminders, and I’m grounded once again, the beast within me now unleashed to kill.

Takeaway:

Honey, go get yourself a jar. Along with some papyrus and ink. Then start jotting down. Document past victories, future visions, fears that mean zilch to the person you’re about to become, batty goals you’ve still gotta chase, reminders that the majority will never understand what it is you’re tryna do here, and how that’s perfectly alright 'cause you’ll find your conquerors, your squad one day. Create your victory jar. And then go knock ‘em down dead. Bad days stand no chance against you. You’re a winner, a fucking rebel. Go take what’s yours.

Y’know, I’m perfectly aware that many muggles reading this will whine that dealing with depression ain’t no piece o’ pie and it’s hella hard to get up and take the crown when you feel like a pile of dino dung.

Stop it. Get some help. (See what I did? Like Michael- ok ok, calm thyself.) For real though, and I’m tired of repeating this with my kitten stamped microphone (but I’ll keep at it ‘cause it’s that significant) – whining is WORTHLESS. It saps up precious energy that could be used to make life a scrumptious smoothie. (Loothie? As in life + smoothie? Right, yes, I’m shutting up.)

And even THEN, we find denizens complaining about slow WiFis and thin crust pizzas and how the market’s down and the government’s incompetent. Because blabbering makes us feel important. Heard. But keeping yo’ trap shut and actually doing stuff? Hustling for your dreams when nobody’s watching? Actually walking the talk? C’mon, Emma, don’t be naive, ain’t nobody getting recognition for that.

Trust me, I get it. The world is yet to become a feminist, turns out your boyfriend was cheating on you while you were looking up wedding dresses, mommy’s a drunk loser, and idiots are being voted into office. It’s a lot to handle. But thanks to our immense and ever increasing population (we folks really love our rumpy pumpy, can you tell) — there will surely be one chum, facing exactly the same misfortunes as you, but still turning up at every party and bulk-spamming his friends with puppy pictures while you sit and wail. (One Moaning Myrtle is enough, thank you very much.)

Look, I’m not undermining your worries or obstacles. I’m only reminding that you have the marvelous choice of positivity. To CHOOSE hope and a better future when others won’t. To FIND (and it’s always possible) something to look forward to even when the to-do’s a big snore. To KNOW, deep inside, that you’re a magnificent conqueror, no matter what mess you’re in at the moment, and that the world dances to your rhythm. Realise that it’s up to you to let yourself be happy. At any moment, you have the very say-so to get up and start rocking. Dumbledore said it himself, “It is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” So choose better, and you’ll unconsciously do better as well. And yes, that being said, this is the last HP reference, don’t fret. Be positive instead. (Edit: Ha, look at these quips, the girl’s all grown up now.)

Takeaway: 

Your new occupation is to be a sunflower. If you think back, you’ll probably recall Miss Honey rattling on about phototropic movement in AP biology. No? Me neither. Point is, sunflowers always face the sun. Put them ANYWHERE, hide them in the dungeons, throw them in a trash bag and shoot it off to the moon, they’ll still turn around and face the sun. No matter what. And taking inspo from that, you too can stop scripting creative soliloquies for being depressed. Happiness is YOUR right, YOUR priority, don’t let anyone take it away from you or diminish its importance. DON’T let sadness ruin your vibe, do what you’ve gotta do to protect yourself. Track happiness in yo’ journal, set 84 reminders on your phone, and tattoo “Long as you’re beaming up at the sun, all the shadows will be left behind” on your boobs. Do whatever, just don’t turn the corners of your mouth down. You’re so pretty this way.

The other day, I was doing the deathly Plié Alternative Heel Lifts (these names, I swear) and my legs felt dead. Gone. Put to sleep like the Wicked Witch of the East. Now obviously, the timer wasn’t not even halfway done yet, but my cheeks were already flushing red like dear Santa, and NOT because I was high on choco chip cookies. I sighed, and at that point, I was so over giving up. All this while, I’d been whining and protesting because my muscles felt sore, but in that moment, I made up my mind. I bit my lip and kept going. On and on. Keep pulsing, you got it, don’t stop, was the mantra I kept chanting.

   Won’t sugarcoat it, I honestly hadn’t died this much since that time Miss Honey buried me alive with trig assignments. My legs were now basically Play-doh and I was shaking, fighting for balance. A few seconds in though, something crazy happened. My legs went numb. My grumbling mind quietened and the pain vanished. That evening, I had the upper hand, not my physical perceptions of myself. I was powerful. Flawless. (Hey Santa, do you even lift bro?) Real talk, I was in the Zone, bitches.

I’m not sure if that was the result of excessive pain or because Wonder Woman’s spirit possessed ma bod, but staying loyal to my love for metaphors, I’ll use the experience to explain what I’m tryna get at here.

   Look, here’s the real deal — if all of the greats gave up the second things got frowny, we probably would have no one to worship. Nix role models, nix inspirations, none to stalk on Insta - we’d all be bumbling about like Sad from the even sadder Emoji movie (no shade, emojis be lit).

And that’d be very sad (pun definitely intended). Hence, cue some tangible ways to boosting your grit, so that you can be your own superhero:

1) Get yo’self a goddamn motto,

2) Know your “Why,”

3) Repeat the cycle till it’s in your blood. Btw, Shawn, if you here, I’m still a single pringl—HEY PAL I SEE YOU, DON’T SCROLL.

Seriously, don’t brush these prime steps aside. We’re always going for the advanced modes, and deeming these basic levels a waste of time. Well guess what, compadre, YOUR LIFE IS A GODDAMN WASTE O’ TIME IF YOU DON’T HAVE YOUR BASICS RIGHT. Excuse my outburst, but listen. You can’t do a hundred bicep curls on your first workout if you haven’t lifted anything more than a crisps packet. Likewise, if you simply jump into Life one day, and decide “ok, here it is, 12 habits to build, sleep schedule to fix, man to ask out, let’s go,” you ain’t getting nowhere, chum. Start small. Take baby steps. It’s clearly not as fun (definitely negates the bragging on Facebook part of it) but it’ll stick. You’ll create a consistency that not even Grandma’s cake batter can achieve.

1. Talking mottos — For context, a motto that I always mutter (my mom thinks I’m cursing, oh what a bad child) every time I spill milk while making coffee is “Do more. Give more. BE more.” Not only does it help me stay right on track for the rest of the day but it helps me clean up my mess, figuratively and otherwise, or I’d just be sitting in a puddle of spilt milk, cursing adulting for real this time and with more laundry to do.

2. Why you need the Big Why — Owning up, I’m guilty of attempting to learn Welsh for less than 48 hours because I hadn’t a single reason to speak the language. A similar thing happened with half of my 2018 resolutions, which had a bunch of rubbish like “Floss daily”, something my eyes got trained to skip because, um, who the hell flosses every day?

Lame humor aside, I still workout almost daily because I have my Why straight. 1) I want to feel good about my body and get closer to the confident badass I envision my future self to be, 2) I simply HAVE to sustain my health to live to build my legacy and fulfill my dreams of opening a bakery at 90 and 3) Because I’m an influencer, and want to walk my talk and be the inspiration people need. Those are the reasons as to why I turn up to my yoga mat everyday, shut my jabbering mind, and keep on pulsing. This “Why” strategy applies to everything. Wanna get outta depression? Why? Wanna lose 20 pounds? Why? Wanna listen to your dentist’s desperate pleadings and floss already? WHY EH? Unless you know your intentions, you’ll give up at the first chance you get to not act on your goals. And watch out, because there’ll be a LOT of those.

For me, leaving a legacy behind means more than having a slice of cake or missing a workout because there’s a fun movie playing. Find what’s important to YOU, make it your why, and go marry your goals.

3. And then, Repeat — Bear in mind, if you’re not living your best life yet, there are NO weekends. NO work-shy days. No weak days, no pick-me-up days, no eat-candy-do-nothing days. Everyday is a damn Monday. EVERYDAY is life or death. Every holy day you wake up is a chance to push your limits, challenge your mindset, and see how far you can go. And every 24 hours, when the cycle starts again, it’s your mission to race to build a stronger, wiser and crazier you.

And who knows, perhaps one day, you and I will just be casually sipping tea in our dream home, laughing at how the milk is still being spilt but knowing, proudly, fiercely, that we’ve come so far, even though there’s still more left to do, more to give and so much more to be.

Takeaway: 

Quit quitting. You’re, guaranteed, 20x stronger than you think. I doubted I could go through with the workout, it seemed beyond my present physical capabilities. But I did, because I treated it as life or death. Understand this, the second you start making excuses, for being depressed, for taking an unnecessary day off - you give away your power. You are a very powerful being. You’re limitless, capable of everything.

I’m not throwing these words around to make you feel cute, I actually mean AND believe them. There’s so much that’s been done already— the iconic four minute mile by Roger Bannister, invention of the light bulb, cars, toothpaste and other junk, people who lost both legs and climbed Mt. Everest, we sent a man to moon in frickin’ 1969 (50 YEARS ago), some ran a 26 mile marathon with zero training, love and hope is still strong in this world, oh let’s also add coffee and motivational music— and YOU think you can’t finish a workout or get outta depression or meet your idols or marry the man of your dreams or become the artist you wanna be? Ridiculous. Don’t give away your power that easily, this ain’t no charity shop.

(play ♬) Having personally dealt with unwelcome yet familiar feelings of emptiness quite often, I’ve now reached a point where each bad day is simply a reminder of how long my journey ahead is, and just how badly I want to reach my destination.

We finally near the end of this novel of a post (thanks for sticking around, bud), and my best advice would be this: Rather than wallowing in self pity and throwing one-man parties because your life is so awfully dreadful, know that even when life throws you to the floor, long as you can look up, long as you can read an entire book about defeating depression (cough)– you can GET UP too. Let those emotions of sorrow and frustration blaze up into a roaring, crackling fire that doesn’t consume you, but instead, urges you, fuels you.

Lately, no matter how much shit I go through, how many arguments I tumble into, or how barren my dreams look sometimes, I don’t break down. And no, it wasn’t always like this. I never even had aspirations to name two years ago. Six months back, it had become a night routine to cry. Not anymore.

Now, every setback and every failure only pushes me to be stronger and give more than I ever gave. The day I made the decision to Conquer (truly, madly, deeply, with all of my heart) was also the day I said a big, loud ‘fuck you’ to every resistance that was to cross my path. I had finally understood that life was nothing but a battle of WILLS, that it was all in or nothing, and I made up my mind once and for all to NEVER give in to depression, or to society, or to anyone who tells me I cannot make it.

I had conquered depression. There was no looking back now.

Takeaway: 

Here’s something no one will tell you: the key to bringing depression to its knees is seeing it positively. Pretend that it’s a friend continuously sending strong, aggressive signals urging you to be happy. And what do you do when a caring friend throws some holy light? You listen, push past your ego, and follow accordingly.

And if that parallel seems unconvincing, here’s another one (sup, DJ Khaled. This post is turning musical, sorry): it’s scared of you. Depression is scared shit of you. Y'know how bullies are, right? Majorly insecure, self-loathing too perhaps, hardly fans of self love, and always trying to numb all that subconscious pain by inflicting pain on others. Depression has the same instruction manual. Your fears and doubts are your (pathetic) bullies, and depression is the big ol’ crony who does the dirty work for 'em.

Whenever you decide shit this is it, I’m going for it, they go paranoid and try stopping you because they’ve seen no better. And if they succeed, BOOM, you’re depressed, paralyzed, your qualms reigning over you again. Don’t let them in. I’ll say it a thousand times if I gotta because I want (HAVE) to see you conquer – you’re so much stronger than you think you are. You can do so much more than you think. It’s all in your head! Don’t just sit there, click away, and go back to living a sad life. You’re better than that. DO better than that. You’re meant to freaking CONQUER, straight-up dominate, my pal. Pay heed to that voice craving freedom. You got this. And you better know it.

One thing’s fixed like the (beloved by all) proportionality constants in Physics, you will come across depressing mornings and sluggish evenings even in the future. I assure you. Lots o’ bad hair days in the calendar, sis. But here’s what you’ll do: you’ll deactivate the miserable thoughts, keep a cool head, remind yourself that this is yet another test (better, rap your new mantra) and USE that hurt, pain, and anger to create a fervor and passion that wreaks havoc on its obstacles and drives you to accomplish EVERYTHING you’ve ever wanted to do. The easy choice would be to just give up, bellyache about the situation, and want sympathy for your worries. Yet, what you’ll never do is… exactly that.

Rule 1) NEVER give up. Stand your ground. Have faith in your strength. Know that you’ll have your way soon enough anyway. Rule 2) NEVER complain. All it does is drain your energy, that precious fire you could to high jump your way into the clouds. Makes you a pathetic wimp too, definitely not something you want on a warrior’s resume. Lastly, Rule 3) NEVER seek validation. From anyone. It sure feels nice to be acknowledged and encouraged, but grasp this— this is your journey. YOUR life and YOUR vision. Validation won’t get you anywhere, for there’ll never be enough of it.

Cuz Marty, if you’re tryna bring something new, different, and authentic into this world – you’ll most likely be hated on badly, before you’ll be loved madly (hi, me a rapper). Learn to invite hate instead—IMPORTANT: hate from others, not yourself. Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the real tea: hate is good. It means you’re standing up for something, refusing to fit like a puzzle piece in society, and being UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself. And it’s certainly a sign that you’re on the right path if you can ignore that hate and stick your tongue out at it.  

Yet another reason to never seek validation is simply this: you have to fight for yourself. In order to meet your own expectations, reach the doorstep of the best version of you, and transform this world, you’ll have to go wildly IN. Toil and hammer away. Shut out all the haters and non-believers, listening only to your gut. Importantly, learn to accept the rejection slips, validating yourself not with what Molly says about it being okay, but with the reminder that your time is coming soon. Depend on yourself. Validation will NEVER be enough.

I get it, it’s a lot of homework, but perhaps you already realize that it’s THIS work that’ll change your life forever. Not “how to not procrastinate, Jesus take the wheel” or “HELLO, life’s a mess so here are ten things to do (you won’t believe number four!)”. Clickbaits don’t work, stop believing that a fancy planner is going to be your savior. There is no rule to making your life a masterpiece. You’ll have to get to know yourself and your dreams (journaling, meditation, silent pondering), build the work ethics and the mentality needed (lots of work in this one, yet no strict framework to go about it) and GET GOING.

AND with that firework, I’ll begin to slip away now. Again, I won’t say it’s easy, that’s cock and bull. Life’s no fairytale. You will never feel ready to start bringing your dreams to fruition. But, my darling (I’m being so nice yo, follow me), you must. You must force yourself to work for the future you want till it becomes a habit, an obsession. The world badly needs heroes; confident people who can stand for themselves so that others can stare at first, maybe even hate a little, but then follow because they seem unstoppable and are, truthfully, having the most fun at life. YOU’RE one of them. No validation, just plain facts.

You see, conquering is a LOT of blood and sweat (K-pop, anyone? BTS? Lmao, this is me tryna clickbait y'all to read). Even getting up will seem huge when you’re just starting out, and this is one long road, dear pal. Still then, I have enough faith in you to hope you don’t give into your fears, I hope you willingly chase discomfort, and I hope you find the courage to do all that you want to do, while that heart’s still beating.

I hope you conquer. I’ll do too, and I’d really like to see some familiar faces during the ride.

Peace, amigo.

A loud ass A/N: And now, we come the most important part of this post. WAKE UP Luke, stop snoring, and take some notes. Remember kids, I won’t accept anything but an A.

   If you couldn’t identify yourself throughout this post and currently are scoffing like um woman, that’s not really why I’m depressed, hang in there a sec. Yes, you can stop singing It Ain’t Me now. You’ve a very nice voice by the way.

I’m not a doctor, and I don’t have enough exposure to know why so many earthlings are depressed today. HOWEVER, by talking to many, following their stories, watching and reading stuff – I do know with firm conviction that a majority suffers from severe unfulfillment. Don’t believe me? A study shows 85% of the working class worldwide hate their jobs. Do you realize what that actually means? EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of the THREE BILLION PEOPLE employed today, hate being employed in the first place! They do it for prime survival, to sustain themselves. And that’s just jobs. I won’t scare you, but 50% (yes, HALF, you heard that right) of students HATE going to school. Kids waste SEVEN hours of their life every day going somewhere they dislike, doing something they hate. Who’s singing now?

People find themselves trapped in golden handcuffs, taking the paycheck despite the passionless job. They push aside the art and business they love, to become a slave of good ol’ cash. Several surround themselves with negativity and get frustrated when unable to escape the choking (no, not THAT kind again, hello someone pour holy water over this post) atmosphere. An innumerable are forced into taking up courses that they don’t care about under parental pressure. The reasons are endless, and I don’t think I’ll amuse myself listing all the sad excuses.

This has always been the story. Hundreds of influencers have preached the same words I’m tryna put into your head here and you’ll yourself say you’ve heard this a million times. YET, you’re dissatisfied. YET, you feel like crap everyday, feeding yourself the same lie that the next day will be better, that you’ll get up tomorrow– while you let life beat the shit out of you.

That’s why, all of my words, everything you’ve read today - all of that boils down to just one single question. A difficult but necessary choice. Will you let this happen to YOU? Will you, seriously, even after this wild ride together, go back to doing nothing and being nothing? Will you, for real, continue deceiving yourself, sacrifice your happiness for the sake of pleasing everyone else, and remain a statistic on a website?

   (play ♬) If you’re not sure of your answer, read: Look, making you feel guilty is not my intention, because that’s not how this works. I need you to understand instead. Guilt wears off, it’s only understanding that brings about change. So, just for old times’ sake, I’ll rant a bit more (ik, just can’t seem to leave y’all).

You’re so, so young right now. More than half of your life is yet to be experienced. None of this probably makes much impact right now but it will the day you die. Remember, on your deathbed, you won’t EVER look back and say, “Damn, wish I’d spent more time at the office. Saved up just one more dollar. Could’ve got that promotion before Amy.” Nay, it won’t even be on the calendar. That day, one foot in the grave, you’ll reflect and wonder why the heck you didn’t let yourself be happier. Why you took up that lacklustre, soul-sucking architect job when all you’ve ever wanted to do is keep laughing. Why you didn’t ask your crush out, why you were so afraid to walk up to that audition, because dammit, you could’ve been running your own comedy show by now. Why you dragged around a karaoke machine all this time instead of singing your own song. Why you couldn’t love yourself. Why you submitted. Why.

And the moment you realize that you hadn’t lived a life for you, you’ll be crushed. Broken. The arthritis in your grannie joints won’t even compare and neither will the mild dissatisfaction you’re feeling right now. Those whys will haunt you, they’ll terrorize you, break you. It’ll hurt tremendously to know that there isn’t a single thing in your long life that you could call completely your own.

 With every death today so many dreams are left unachieved, crazy things left unchecked on the bucket list, and unique potential left unexpressed.

DON’T let that be you. Please. I’m still a mess myself, struggling to reach class on time and studying subjects that aren’t exactly fun, when all I want to do is create content (read: fireworks) that is at a level of insanity, influence folks to do better, hold crazy world tours and meet-and-greets to give hugs, and get an adorable puppy so I can create a dogstagram (yes, I’m that mom). Sure, I could declare it’s too hard, hang onto small-minded and negative people who whine endlessly, and follow the crowd, getting lost in it, with ease.

But I won’t because I can’t take the burden of those regrets. That painful unrest and discontent that nothing could cure, not drugs, alcohol, buddies, not even true love. For then I’d be just another drone, my controller in the hands of society, forcing me to see the world through its eyes. I can’t give in because I’m scared, terrified even, of wasting away this one life doing the bidding of others- folks who won’t even notice when I’m gone.

It’s easy to be depressed and crib your entire life. It’s easy to think you’re worthless and that trying is pointless since nothing ever goes your way.

But perhaps, if you rise, if you simply DECIDE to have the audacity to fight for what you believe in, if you work and focus on becoming better, things will go your way. Life will bend to you, in awe, at your incredible relentlessness. Life will take one look at you, wonder who the fuck is this person? How the fuck are they so incapable of giving up? And back right away. And then perhaps, life will be such a blast for you that depression would become the past you never had.

   I know you can get there, conqueror. It’s time you knew it too.

🌚🌝 Further reading? 🌝🌚

Last Post :— How To Get Back Into The Creative Process – For you, if you’re in a creative rut. Get outta it and go create magic!

5 Reasons Why You’re Unhappy — To help you identify & cut out CURRENT sources of sadness so that you can spice up yo’ life with some happiness instead. Definitely recommend reading AND implementing.

The Bubble Trap & How To Get Out Of It — One of my classics. Everyone is in one of these 'bubbles’ till they consciously do something about it; that’s just how it is. Are you still in one? (Someone teach me marketing, lmao.)

The 5 Biggest Regrets of The Dying (from Greatist) — I LOVED reading this. Pretty much all you need to cut the crap and do meaningful stuff. Read it, memorize it, work it.

++ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box! I’ll get back to you with a reply, along with the average time I’ll need to birth that magical idea.

Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure to have you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, I’d suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.

If you wanna check out my blog, here’s a little something about me (y'all know I love the attention). What do I write about? Three arenas I dominate, Work, Lifestyle and Life, they are, my mate! Take your pick!

I post new blog posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if you’re into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. I’ll be your side pal, cheering you along.✨

And that was it, it’s a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know you’re pretending to be deaf, but Mom’s yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.

And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope you’re well, stay strong and go conquer life. ✧

I’m sending you so much love, see you soon.

— Nandini 💌 (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

Natalie Portman

The choreography in “Rewrite the Stars” is honestly genius.

The whole scene is staged in such a way that for the first half of the song, Phillip is continuously trying to pull Anne back to him each time she tries to pull away. He’s trying to hold her in place at his level, on the ground. Even when she soars up into the air, he keeps trying to literally pull her back down: grabbing on to her hand, her waist, the rope, her hoop. Anything to keep her in place with him. 

But for the second half of the song, Phillip stops trying to hold her down and instead follows after her into the air, basically saying through the choreography, “If we can’t be together in my world, can we be together in yours?”

And only once they’re both in the air - the space that reflects the freedom the circus gives them - does Anne allow herself to consider the idea that they could actually be together. Phillip stops waiting for her to stay on the ground with him and puts in the work to be with her, literally scaling the walls of the theater to reach her. In more ways than one, they end up finding a balance and supporting each other’s weight for the rest of the song.

What I’m trying to say is that the choreography in The Greatest Showman is not only absolutely gorgeous, it’s also incredibly deliberate and tells a story through movement and I love it so much. 

general mathematics spread! this week was about math in finance. the classes for me were just like reviews since I learned this back in senior high! ☀️

I use the Zebra Sarasa Black Pen in 0.5 and the pastel blue Mildliner when I write my notes for this subject ☁️

the messier, the better. 

hey high schoolers: your academic performance right now doesn’t have to be a predictor of your future success. just saying. 

i got Cs, Ds, and Fs in high school and dropped out. fast forward six years and i have an associate’s degree with honors, a 4.0 in a STEM major at an R1, i’ve worked in a lot of cool places, and i’m having the time of my life in my twenties. i still struggle, especially financially, but good things are happening that i couldn’t dream of when i was 16 and lonely in a world that would’ve seen me dead.

don’t let anyone tell you you’re going nowhere. you can do whatever you want.