Im So Bad At Maintaining Online Friendships!! Im Sorry To Everyone I’ve Had A Lovely Chat With But

No offense but literally nothing and no one is and will ever be out of your league. Nothing is too good for you. Nobody has the right to make you feel like you are not enough or less than you are, you deserve the world.

Am I weird for having my blog basically be my home feed? Like almost everything I get on that section I go “yea I’ll reblog that”

Does anyone care my blog is my random scatter brained nonsense?

I should not be allowed to act this hard to get when I fall hopelessly in love with anyone that listens to my autistic infodumping and is nice to me.

ok who's making memes about me again

Who else?

very heavy stuff today, but i need to get it off my chest

i dont exactly know how tumblr does the whole "read more" thing, so there's gonna be a spam of line breaks and after that read at your own risk. I dont even know what kinda TWs this would qualify under so consider this your "bad shit under here you've been warned"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am so fucking close to snapping i swear to neptune, allah, fucking buddha, any god that is fucking out there why do i have to be such a broken, useless piece of shit. fucking AAAAAAAAAAAAA im so fucking tired, so fucking tired of only existing to be beaten, used and abused then forgotten. Fuck my fucking life. It's never getting better, people keep fucking telling me that same platitude but i've been waiting two fucking decades for it to just magically "get better" and guess what IT FUCKING DOESNT. Im not even a real fucking person, im a goddamn *shard* of what used to be a person. im incapable of taking care of myself, incapable of ever "functioning" in modern society. all im ever going to be is someone's fucking retard burden to drag them down for the rest of my natural born fucking life. I look hideous, im completely disabled because of decades of constant mind-breaking trauma and will likely never recover, the country i live in is going to shit, im absolutely penniless with no hope of ever having an income. what fucking future is there. At this point im about ready to just give up, let go of the controls and let myself fade into nothing. There's two more fucking backup personalities in here maybe they wont be such fuckups. I was made to be a weapon, a survival-mode emergency shield and nothing more, i cant survive actual life. I cant even be someone's fucking malewife housecat and be pampered all day because i spun the orientation wheel and got "Dom-top". How the fuck does that work when i can barely get off the couch in the morning? when i have to be kept pretty much on fucking life support by someone else or ill literally drown in my own garbage. Maybe the bronchitis i had as an infant was meant to kill me and this is the world's way of correcting its mistake. Holy fuck here's to hoping i get hit by a meteor, like to charge reblog to fucking nail me like the dinosaurs.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Vent over, here's a fish as a palate cleanser

oh yea, this site exists. Here's a vent meme that got pressure cooked in my prefrontal cortex at 5AM. Primo literature will be posted at some point(?) when my writers block unblocks. Going through some AO3 writer "sry for not updating i got hit by a falling piano and accused of high treason <3" levels of backstage misery so that may be soon or it may be months. who knows?

Reblog to Estrogenize Prev*

*Cis men are welcome to reblog this, but be aware that those labels may not last :3

True/False game. Make an assumption about me in my ask and I’ll tell you if its true or false. Go.

PLSSSSS

yeah ill rebog this