When You're Autistic And You Learn How To Smalltalk It Literally Feels Like You Started Hacking Real

Reblog to kill it faster

I needed this

Okay, so y'all know the phenomenon where American media companies say they can't produce queer stories because they'll just get censored in foreign markets? It's transparent as hell, because the dominant culture of the United States is still violently queerphobic, and in many cases, state queerphobia in other countries is the direct result of Christian imperialism. The US is not the enlightened gay haven in a world of evil homophobic foreigners, and trying to pretend that American media can't be too gay because it'll be censored overseas is asinine. We all know that, right?

Anyway, today I learned that there is an episode of the Australian cartoon Bluey that has been censored in the United States because it shows the dad character pretending to be pregnant and have a baby as part of a game of pretend. Disney refuses to air it on the Disney Channel or on Disney+. It has been made available on YouTube by the Australian rights holders.

So let's quit fucking pretending that Disney is actually scared of foreign censors, hm? The queerphobic censorship is coming from inside the House of Mouse, and it always has been.

Being A Girl: A Brief Personal History of Violence

1.

I am six. My babysitter’s son, who is five but a whole head taller than me, likes to show me his penis. He does it when his mother isn’t looking. One time when I tell him not to, he holds me down and puts penis on my arm. I bite his shoulder, hard. He starts crying, pulls up his pants and runs upstairs to tell his mother that I bit him. I’m too embarrassed to tell anyone about the penis part, so they all just think I bit him for no reason.

I get in trouble first at the babysitter’s house, then later at home.

The next time the babysitter’s son tries to show me his penis, I don’t fight back because I don’t want to get in trouble.

One day I tell the babysitter what her son does, she tells me that he’s just a little boy, he doesn’t know any better. I can tell that she’s angry at me, and I don’t know why. Later that day, when my mother comes to pick me up, the babysitter hugs me too hard and says how jealous she is because she only has sons and she wishes she had a daughter as sweet as me.

One day when we’re playing in the backyard he tells me very seriously that he might kill me one day and I believe him.

2.

I am in the second grade and our classroom has a weird open-concept thing going on, and the fourth wall is actually the hallway to the gym. All day long, we surreptitiously watch the other grades file past on the way to and from the gym. We are supposed to ignore most of them. The only class we are not supposed to ignore is Monsieur Pierre’s grade six class.

Every time Monsieur Pierre walks by, we are supposed to chorus “Bonjour, Monsieur Sexiste.” We are instructed to do this by our impossibly beautiful teacher, Madame Lemieux. She tells us that Monsieur Pierre, a dapper man with grey hair and a moustache, is sexist because he won’t let the girls in his class play hockey. She is the first person I have ever heard use the word sexist.

The word sounds very serious when she says it. She looks around the class to make sure everyone is paying attention and her voice gets intense and sort of tight.

“Girls can play hockey. Girls can do anything that boys do,” she tells us.

We don’t really believe her. For one thing, girls don’t play hockey. Everyone in the NHL – including our hero Mario Lemieux, who we sometimes whisper might be our teacher’s brother or cousin or even husband – is a boy. But we accept that maybe sixth grade girls can play hockey in gym class, so we do what she asks.

Mostly what I remember is the smile that spreads across Monsieur Pierre’s face whenever we call him a sexist. It is not the smile of someone who is ashamed; it is the smile of someone who finds us adorable in our outrage.

3.

Later that same year a man walks into Montreal’s École Polytechnique and kills fourteen women. He kills them because he hates feminists. He kills them because they are going to be engineers, because they go to school, because they take up space. He kills them because he thinks they have stolen something that is rightfully his. He kills them because they are women.

Everything about the day is grey: the sky, the rain, the street, the concrete side of the École Polytechnique, the pictures of the fourteen girls that they print in the newspaper. My mother’s face is grey. It’s winter, and the air tastes like water drunk from a tin cup.

Madame Lemieux doesn’t tell us to call Monsieur Pierre a sexist anymore. Maybe he lets the girls play hockey now. Or maybe she is afraid.

Girls can do anything that boys do but it turns out that sometimes they get killed for it.

4.

I am fourteen and my classmate’s mother is killed by her boyfriend. He stabs her to death. In the newspaper they call it a crime of passion. When she comes back to school, she doesn’t talk about it. When she does mention her mother it’s always in the present tense – “my mom says” or “my mom thinks” – as if she is still alive. She transfers schools the next year because her father lives across town in a different school district.

Passion. As if murder is the same thing as spreading rose petals on your bed or eating dinner by candlelight or kissing through the credits of a movie.

5.

Men start to say things to me on the street, sometimes loudly enough that everyone around us can hear, but not always. Sometimes they mutter quietly, so that I’m the only one who knows. So that if I react, I’ll seem like I’m blowing things out of proportion or flat-out making them up. These whispers make me feel complicit in something, although I don’t quite know what.

I feel like I deserve it. I feel like I am asking for it. I feel dirty and ashamed.

I want to stand up for myself and tell these men off, but I am afraid. I am angry that I’m such a baby about it. I feel like if I were braver, they wouldn’t be able to get away with it. Eventually I screw up enough courage and tell a man to leave me alone; I deliberately keep my voice steady and unemotional, trying to make it sound more like a command than a request. He grabs my wrist and calls me a fucking bitch.

After that I don’t talk back anymore. Instead I just smile weakly; sometimes I duck my head and whisper thank you. I quicken my steps and hurry away until one time a man yells don’t you fucking run away and starts to follow me.

After that I always try to keep my pace even, my breath slow. Like how they tell you that if you ever see a bear you shouldn’t run, you should just slowly back away until he can’t see you.

I think that these men, like dogs, can smell my fear.

6.

On my eighteenth birthday my cousin takes me out clubbing. While we’re dancing, a man comes up behind me and starts fiddling with the straps on my flouncy black dress. But he’s sort of dancing with me and this is my first time ever at a club and I want to play it cool, so I don’t say anything. Then he pulls the straps all the way down and everyone laughs as I scramble to cover my chest.

At a concert a man comes up behind me and slides his hand around me and starts playing with my nipple while he kisses my neck. By the time I’ve got enough wiggle room to turn around, he’s gone.

At my friend’s birthday party a gay man grabs my breasts and tells everyone that he’s allowed to do it because he’s not into girls. I laugh because everyone else laughs because what else are you supposed to do?

Men press up against me on the subway, on the bus, once even in a crowd at a protest. Their hands dangle casually, sometimes brushing up against my crotch or my ass. One time it’s so bad that I complain to the bus driver and he makes the man get off the bus but then he tells me that if I don’t like the attention maybe I shouldn’t wear such short skirts.

7.

I get a job as a patient-sitter, someone who sits with hospital patients who are in danger of pulling out their IVs or hurting themselves or even running away. The shifts are twelve hours and there is no real training, but the pay is good.

Lots of male patients masturbate in front of me. Some of them are obvious, which is actually kind of better because then I can call a nurse. Some of them are less obvious, and then the nurses don’t really care. When that happens, I just bury my head in a book and pretend I don’t know what they’re doing.

One time an elderly man asks me to fix his pillow and when I bend over him to do that he grabs my hand and puts it on his dick.

When I call my supervisor to complain she says that I shouldn’t be upset because he didn’t know what he was doing.

8.

A man walks into an Amish school, tells all the little girls to line up against the chalkboard, and starts shooting.

A man walks into a sorority house and starts shooting.

A man walks into a theatre because the movie was written by a feminist and starts shooting.

A man walks into Planned Parenthood and starts shooting.

A man walks into.

9.

I start writing about feminism on the internet, and within a few months I start getting angry comments from men. Not death threats, exactly, but still scary. Scary because of how huge and real their rage is. Scary because they swear they don’t hate women, they just think women like me need to be put in their place.

I get to a point where the comments – and even the occasional violent threat – become routine. I joke about them. I think of them as a strange badge of honour, like I’m in some kind of club. The club for women who get threats from men.

It’s not really funny.

10.

Someone makes a death threat against my son.

I don’t tell anyone right away because I feel like it is my fault – my fault for being too loud, too outspoken, too obviously a parent.

When I do finally start telling people, most of them are sympathetic. But a few women say stuff like “this is why I don’t share anything about my children online,” or “this is why I don’t post any pictures of my child.”

Even when a man makes a choice to threaten a small child it is still, somehow, a woman’s fault.

11.

I try not to be afraid.

I am still afraid.

- By Anne Thériault

Cienie's Star Wars sidenotes

While doing research and writing down the last pieces of Funeral Rites of the Clone Troopers, it became even more clear how The Clone Wars animated TV series did a great disservice to Jedi, especially in the context of medical care for clones.

TCW has clone medics, both as part of combat units (e.g. Kix from 501st Legion) and working apparently in the medcentre as sometimes was presented on the screen.

The role of doctors treating wounded troopers was given to Kaminoans (Nala Se) and droids and sure, those two groups were part of the whole GAR’s medical system in the Legends too. However Jedi Healers (doctors), as far as I remember, were seen treating mainly other Jedi like Yoda

and even then TCW barely paid attention to force healing as an important skill. 

The research about medical care for clones gives a pretty drastic idea of what was happening during and after battle which is understandable why the show destined for younger viewers didn’t go into full details about triage of wounded but considering how many dark themes were put in the same show, I dare to say not showing medical care provided by Jedi or common Republic doctors and nurses (who btw are a rare example of republic citizens conscripted into army during the war) actually is unfair. The show reduced one very important aspect of Jedi - they weren’t just generals and commanders either sending or leading troops into battle, they also provided medical help, whether they were specifically trained at healing or not. 

In Legends, we could see Jedi Healers assisting the army on various occassions, working in triage area like in Republic comics series:

The triage unit, where Jedi healers labor to save the lives of the wounded, was set up safely behind the line of battle. But as the fortunes of war shift, so do the battlelines.

and worrying first about wounded even in the face of serious danger

Master Saa! We’re cut off! There’s no way to get the wounded out!

and searching for survivors

Master Saa is hurt! She pulled the trees on top of us for protection...

and working in hospitals

Follow me Skywalker. We have much healing to do. The Jedi sickbay, where we treat the most severe injuries. And our own, of course. Master Offee has saved countless lives. She seldom leaves her post to rest. But we all work long hours.

Not to mention the whole Medstar duology dedicated to padawan Bariss Offee, doctors and nurses serving in Republic mobile hospitals close to frontine - and yes, forever I’m gonna be bitter about how TCW/New Canon treated the most iconic Jedi Healer.

(The cover art for Medstar: Jedi Healer by Dave Seeley)

When padawan Skywalker arrived at New Holstice with his troops, he was immedialy called to assist in the nearest sickbay

“Are you injured, master Jedi?”

“Not really, no.”

“Good. You can make yourself useful by heading to the nearest sickbay. We need all the Jedi healers we can get...”

and for context, this is Anakin two days after after Jabiim, one of the worst war campaigns Republic experienced so far, the solely survivor of Jedi Pack traumatized both by the loss of his comrades and what happened on the planet and forced to make a devastating choice is literally told to get at work ASAP because every Jedi in between assignment was working here hard to heal the most wounded..

Though no healer himself, Anakin even force-healed injured trooper on battlefield to stop him going into shock:

Supporting the commando trooper with his left arm, Anakin warded off blaster bolts on the run. The rest of Squad Seven supplied cover, blowing STAPs out the sky with uninterrupted fire. Cody motioned everyone into a shallow irrigation trench just short of the mound. By the time Obi-Wan arrived, the troopers were deployed in a circle, and continuing to pour fire into the sky. Anakin slid into the trench a moment later, lowering the commando gently to the muddy slope. Squad Seven’s medical specialist crawled over, removing the commando’s ravaged utility belt and deeply dented helmet.  [...]

The harvester’s pincers had crushed the armor into the commando’s abdomen. His skin was intact, but the bruising was severe. With only half the original army of 1.2 million in fighting shape, the life of every clone was vital. Blood and replacement organs - - what the regular troopers referred to as “spare parts” - - were readily available - - “easily requisitioned” - - but with the war reaching a crescendo, battlefield casualties were on the rise and treated as high priority.

“Not much I can do for him here,” the medspec told Anakin. “Maybe if we can get an FX-Seven air-dropped - - ”

“We don’t need a droid,” Anakin interrupted. Kneeling, he placed his hands on the injured commando’s abdomen and used a Jedi healing technique to keep the clone from going into deep shock. [Labyrinth Of Evil]

(and included request for evacuation of the wounded trooper when Cody called for artillery support)

In Republic comics series alone we could see Jedi showing concern for the wounded troopers at various moments, putting their well-being as priority:

or helping (healing) wounded enemies:

And I won't lie, it is frustrating how Legends, especially Republic comics series that had around 40 issues put so much pressure on Jedi Force healing and how Jedi care for wounded troopers while The Clone Wars (New Canon) that lasted for decade or so kinda ignored the issue? Which is unfair to Jedi and clones alike. The first are presented as less caring, at times indifferent? the latter deserved to have all the available medical help, not just Kaminoans and droids.

So, I kinda love rendering armor now.

Heroes

Ever After High Pokemon Teams - Ashlynn Ella

Part 3 of my headcannons of "What if Ever After High characters had Pokemon Teams". Today we have...

Ashlynn Ella

Ever since she was little, Ashlynn Ella knew she wanted to be a Pokemon Ranger! She loves helping hurt Pokemon and making them feel better.

Not long after she started her journey, however, she ran into a very kind, handsome and helpful Pokemon Breeder who ended up falling in love with - much to the disagreement of her friends, who do not think that a Journey is a good time to start a relationship. 

While Ashlynn does understand their points, she cannot help her heart. Plus, her Pokemon really seem to like him, so that is definitely something.

Trainer Class: Pokemon Ranger

Ashlynn's team mainly comprises of Pokemon that either can help heal other Pokemon or are Pokemon that have been hurt in the pass.

Tulip the Meganium

Moves:

Sweet Scent

Giga Drain

Body Slam

Leech Seed

Tulip was Ashlynn’s first Pokemon and main partner. They will often spend their days walking through the forest together. Tulip will use her signature breath to help revive dead plants and sick Grass Type Pokemon and her Sweet Scent to help calm down arguments.

When I started planning out Ashlynn’s team, the Chikorita line was an instant perfect starter match. Not only does Meganium’s breath revive dead plants, Ashlynn seems like the type to pick the Grass Starter!

Daisy the Blissey

Moves:

Soft-Boiled

Heal Pulse

Chilling Water

Echoed Voice

Ashlynn found Daisy wandering tired and alone in the forest after starting her journey. The sweet and kind-hearted Pokemon was using Soft-Boiled to heal injured Pokemon in the forest, leaving her with barely any HP for herself! After helping her heal, Daisy decided she wanted to join Ashlynn on her journey. She has since evolved into Blissey and is a vital part of Ashlynn’s team.

Chansey and Blissey were also really easy choices for Ashlynn’s team. I knew Ashlynn would want to heal other Pokemon she encountered on her journey. As for why Blissey instead of Chansey - there is no way that those two would not have a tight friendship bond!

Zinnia the Flechinder

Moves:

Flame Charge

Fly

Steel Wing

U-Turn

Ashlynn found Zinnia as a cute little Fletchling all hurt after being poisoned by a Beedrill and after a quick healing session and meal, Fletchling decided to join Ashlynn’s team! Zinnia would later evolve into a Fletchinder and her ability Flame Body has helped warm up freezing Pokemon and sooth sore muscles.

I wanted Ashlynn to have some kind of bird Pokemon because she is featured in her official artwork with a little bird on her finger, as well as the fact that in many versions of Cinderella, the princess is helped out by some kind of bird. I ended up settling on Fletchinder for her final team. I debated giving her a Talonflame, but I do not see Ashlynn being a huge battler.

Gladiolus the Indeedee

Moves:

Psychic

Healing Wish

Disarming Voice

Hyper Voice

Ashlynn encountered the Indeedee that would become known as Gladiolus when she was traveling through a dark and gloomy forest. Despite the scary atmosphere, Ashlynn’s emotions were positive and this ended up attracting Gladiolus to the Pokemon Ranger. He guided and protected the Pokemon Ranger as they navigated the dim forest and decided to continue traveling with Ashlynn. Gladiolus often helps his trainer with the day-to-day tasks of taking care of hurt Pokemon and everyday chores. However, Gladiolus has also shown interest in another Indeedee that happens to be the Pokemon of another trainer…

Like Blissey, Indeedee is another Pokemon typically used by the Nurse Joys and seemed like another obvious choice for Ashlynn’s team. Why I went with a male Indeedee rather than a female one? 2 reasons, 1) the Pokedex entries for Male Indeedee sound a lot like Cinderella and I thought that fit Ashlynn better and 2) I have Female Indeedee down for another specific trainer for later.

Calla Lily the Corsola

Moves:

Surf

Ancient Power

Life Dew

Earth Power

Ashlynn caught Calla Lily when she was helping Water Pokemon out when cleaning up a polluted sea. Ashlynn ended up having to catch Calla Lily to effectively treat her and Calla Lily ended up wanting to stay with her after having fully recovered. She helps Ashlynn with Water travel and rescues.

When I was looking for a Water Type Pokemon for Ashlynn I remembered that Corsola was constantly having trouble with water pollution and being hunted by Marearnie and I figured Corsola was a perfect fit for Ashlynn’s team. Also, one of Ashlynn’s main colors is coral, so it felt right.

Honeysuckle the Minccino

Moves:

Tail Slap

Sing

Bullet Seed

Triple Axel

Honeysuckle was found injured and alone and Ashlynn immediately took the little cutie into her care. Like most of her other Pokemon, Honeysuckle did not want to leave Ashlynn and joined her team. Honeysuckle will often help Ashlynn with Pokemon healing by cuddling and cleaning up.

The main reason I put Miniccino on the team was due to its connection to cleaning. But the other reason is how cute and helpful it is! That is also part of the reason I decided to not have Honeysuckle evolve, along with that being a decision that Ashlynn would leave to the Pokemon.

And there it is!! Ashlynn's Pokemon Team! I am planning on posting Hunter's team next, but feel free to comment and suggest other characters you would like to see!

Keep the Jedi Out of It

With input from @atagotiak (Tia), @gelpenss (Gel), and @thisarenotarealblog (Doc).

Standard initial premise: Clones take over the Republic after Fox kills Palpatine.

Fun AU Twist: in order to keep people from trying to fuck over the Jedi, and also as a backup because they trust the Jedi to at least try to save them after the initial hubbub goes down, and also as a bit of a vindication for those who don't like their Jedi... the clones arrest all the Jedi and just keep them in the brigs etc. until they figure out how to break the news to the galaxy that Palpatine was a bigger problem than previously anticipated.

"Why did the Jedi not stop you?" "Great question! We arrested them." "...all of them?" "Yes." "On what grounds?" "On 'they would have stopped us from killing the Chancellor' grounds."

"The Jedi couldn't stop you from arresting them?" "We just kind of told them 'here, hold this' and then put the force cuffs on. It was really easy, actually, they trust us way too much, it's kinda scary. A few of them passed out without the Force to keep them awake and the medics got pissed they hadn't been sleeping." "...you're saying you did this for their own good?" "No, we did it so we could kill the Chancellor."

Tia:

Anakin would def be upset. What would the other jedi be like? Mostly exasperated? I imagine a few would be like “well I guess I’m stuck here. I’m gonna have a nap”

Doc:

Obiwan finds a corner he likes and conks out in 5 minutes with the power of long experience

Gel:

At least one or more of the Jedi is like. WEIRDLY zen about it. Like “yeah if he arrested me there’s DEFINITELY a good reason and they’ll all tell me eventually”

Like the reason O66 worked in large part was that the Jedi trusted the clones, which means that you could easily argue that without even murder-of-said-Jedi on the mind, it would be even easier to just. Trick them.

Rex was uncomfortable about arresting Anakin for "Palpatine's his friend and he'll hate me" reasons so Kix just arrested both of them himself. They don't tell Anakin what's going on even when he grills Rex in their shared cell. Anakin's under the impression this is a 'you haven't been taking care of yourself' medic arrest.

Ahsoka had to share a cell with Yularen and they played cards because Ahsoka wanted to work on her Sabacc-without-Force-Cheating skills.

Some of the arrested Jedi have tea parties with the clones who arrested them. Mostly I'm imagining this as being Mundi. Bacara is off handling Various Things and the shinies put in place to guard Ki-Adi while the Coruscant problem is handled just sit down and have some tea with him while he teaches them Jedi philosophy, because Mundi strikes me as very "grandpa tells you stories to try and relate to the youth and he's not great at it but he sure is trying to be a good grandpa, and he's a bit out of the loop but he's putting in the effort, he got you some of those Pokey-mans you like for the holidays and everything."

"It's been three days, are you going to tell me why this was all necessary?" "Chancellor's a Sith Lord." "WHAT?" "It's fine, Fox killed him, but we couldn't have the Jedi stopping us, or like... getting accused of organizing it. So we just arrested, uh... everyone over the age of three?"

Tia:

Im just imagining Depa in a cell, sometime before the assassination is done: Grey: yeah so we’re killing Palpatine, for uh. Reasons. Depa: well I feel like I should disapprove, but….

Gel:

Anakin is spinning conspiracies about mind control because why else would they do this and the clones are just like. 😬“well yes but actually no”

Cody: No hard feelings but we do need Fox to do the plan. Chancellor's evil. Obi-Wan, not at all convincingly, especially after the explanation: Oh no... the Chancellor... whatever shall I do... Cody: ...do I even need to put you in cuffs? Obi-Wan: For the sake of protocol, yes.

Doc:

Ponds: we're going to kill the chancellor Mace, who got pressured to give the chancellor access to a 10-year old: legally, I cannot endorse this.

"We arrested the Jedi." "...and they LET you?" "Yeah, they assumed it was for a plan, which it was, but they assumed it was 'we're being watched by Separatists, play along' reasons and not, you know, killing the Chancellor."

Bly: General Secura, you're under arrest. Aayla: Wh--On what charges? Bly: Uh.... it's a sex thing? Aayla: ..............sure, why not.

Monnk: General Fisto, you're under arrest. Kit: Why? Monnk: ....reasons. Kit: ........yeah, okay.

Nobody even bothers to tell Shaak Ti, she's so far away that she can't do anything and really they just. Don't tell her she has a long-distance call coming in.

The only Jedi that don't just get arrested with zero fuss are the ones that are in active battle zones far enough away that it's not worth the deaths that would follow, Anakin, and 'I don't trust clones' types like Krell.

And the ones in-Temple, which is admittedly a lot, but we're going to ignore that and say the clones just triggered a reactive shut-down protocol that had metal going over windows and stuff.

😍❤️❤️

this is the captain selkie of cuteness. reblog for a valuable lesson on what it means to be a hero, ignore for just like…. super rudeness honestly