I’m Smuggling Some Cheap Ass Pizza From Fazbender’s :]

Uh

My birthday was yesterday. I didn’t post about it because I was spending time with family. Hsshahajeje idk what else to say???? Idk man

Thank you to all the thirty people that are following my page. Sorry I haven’t updated my AO3 fic or posted much lately, just lost motivation.

🦉💙🩶🍫🤍

w h a t

💯🙏💛🟨👍

TW: Mentions of Gaza

Call me ignorant and selfish all you want.

I DO NOT CARE. I CANNOT FINANCIALLY SUPPORT ANYONE ON EITHER SIDE.

look, it’s sad people are dying, and I’ll admit that.

but if you’re about to reply to my posts/comments with a copy-pasted spiel about being from Gaza n’ all…

DNI.

Do not interact with me. Do NOT send me asks about Gaza and a link to your fucking gofundme.

I intend to keep this blog FREE of mentions of the Israel/Palestine conflict, same with the Russia/Ukraine conflict. This post is the only exemption.

If you read this post but CHOOSE to ignore it-

Fuck off. Just please, go fuck off. This was meant to be a silly DSAF themed blog with sprinkles of other fandoms I genuinely enjoy.

– Dave/Vincent

UPD:

So people just fucking blatantly ignored my request.

I’ll post the screenshots on a separate post

I wanna do the first video to Steven.

overly aggressive pat pat the Dave

O u r p l e

Dave lowers his head slightly to make it easier for the anon to pat him. " Thanks, anon! "

lmfao love how it went from ‘oh shit are you dying?’ to ‘oh, Godspeed on the toilet’

fighting for my life. it was nice knowing you all.

Matt Matt Matt do you have a cult all about you I can join please p,ease please

" Maybe, but I didn’t start it. " Matt seems amused. " Although, I have no say who joins it. Steven’s the leader in case you couldn’t guess. "

While walking by, Steven says, " Yes I did start it, and yes you can join. We meet on Sunday in the saferoom. "

Matt pauses, staring after their partner. " Well, there’s your answer. "

My Headcanons!

woof, I forgot to post these-!

also, these are all of the characters that could pop up in my replies. TW for mentioned alcoholism, stalking, child murder, war, PTSD, sex with objects, self-shipping, and headcanons. Lots and lots of ‘em.

DSAF

Jack

Jack is transmasc, gay, and polyamorous. He used he/them/it pronouns.

I interpret and portray Jack as neutral, leaning towards Legacy.

He does not reciprocate Dave’s affections. It’s more like stalking than a healthy, loving relationship.

He is a pussy haver if anyone wanted to know that. (Looking at my friend group-)

Jack is dramatically underweight and very skeletal in appearance. If the orange makeup is washed off, he has rotting green skin underneath.

He’s 5'10.

Dave

Dave identifies as a genderfawn pansexual. He uses he/them pronouns.

Dave is a very silly person most of the time, but he can be cunning and dangerous at times. Really harassing him is the only way to get this sort of behavior out of him. Personality-wise, I would compare him to a mix of canon Dave and book William.

He’s really only on good terms with Jack. The Phone Guys, Matt, Dee, and Henry are all tired of his antics.

Dave is physically a male, not quite a human, but humanoid enough to have sex with Jack.

Like Jack, Dave is underweight. The only reason he isn’t a human is because he’s a cryptid.

He has an unhealthy obsession with harassing the phone guys.

He’s 6'0.

Steven

Steven is a transmasculine gay polyamorous man. He uses the pronouns he/it.

He's going out with Matt.

Steven used to be a war medic, serving in Vietnam for a bit.

Like all the other phone guys, he has a wire tail that can plug into any standard U.S. wall outlet.

He survives after the events of the first DSAF game, now living in Jack’s basement.

Foxy is still his favorite animatronic.

Steven’s about 7 feet tall, the phone adds a foot in height to him.

Peter

Peter is a cisgender bi-curious man. He uses he/him pronouns.

He’s really just a tired older brother dealing with Jack and Dave’s bullshittery.

Peter was the second sibling to die.

He’s aware of Dee being the Puppet, and hates Dave for killing his sister.

He lives with Jack, technically owning the house but not being the one to pay the bills.

Peter owns a shotgun and is a shitty aim with it.

Peter’s also 7 feet tall.

Matt

Matt is an agender gay guy. They use they/he pronouns.

They are a banshee-human hybrid, being a Latino too.

They are physically incapable of not smiling.

Unlike the majority of the Fazbender employees, Matt is actually a living being. Well, half-living.

Matt lives in whatever Fazbender location he’s currently in.

He has had sex with some of the plushies. They bought the plushies afterwards though.

Matt is 5'7.

Dee

Dee is a cisgender aroace girl. She uses she/her pronouns.

Mentally, Dee hasn’t aged all that much, so Jack and Peter still need to parent her.

She’s about as powerful as FNAF’s puppet.

Because the Puppet itself is a male, she gets called a boy way too often. She’s very eager to correct you if you mess that up.

Dee’s box is in the corner of Jack’s bedroom. She can’t sleep without him nearby.

Dee has witnessed Matt yiffing plushies. She locks her music box at night because of it.

Dee is about 8 feet tall, but was 4'11 at death.

Henry

Henry is a cisgender bisexual man. He uses he/void/it pronouns.

Void doesn’t exactly have a soul anymore. If it did, his soul would be a lot like Mr. Shade’s - too impure to redeem.

The void that covers its body is like an infection. It has been sealed away in the Flipside to prevent the infection from spreading.

Void has an impressively large vocabulary, being very annoying about it, too. It’ll correct you on your grammar, suggest different words you could use, etc. Almost like Grammarly as a person.

Henry served in the Second World War, and this desensitized it to death and bloodshed.

Void is morbidly obese.

Henry is 5'9.

Harry

Harry is a cisgender gay man. He uses he/him pronouns.

Harry’s about the same age as Steven.

He has chased people with brooms and will do it again.

He definitely started the group chat between all of the phone guys. He’s the mom friend.

Harry served in Vietnam, so he bonded with Steven over that and being some of the first phones to be made.

He lives with Jake and Walt down the street from Jack and the others.

Harry’s 6'11.

Jake

Jake is a straight demiboy. He uses he/they pronouns.

He’s the butt of every joke about purple guys, without question.

Jake knows how to twerk and will sucker punch you if you call him 'Jack' on purpose.

He’s an alcoholic still, but he’s trying to quit for his son’s sake.

Every April Fools, Jake is the main reason everyone’s on edge. He’s a major prankster.

Jake lives with Harry and Walt down the street from Jack and the others.

Jake is 7 feet tall.

Roger

Roger is a cisgender gay man. He uses he/them/it pronouns.

He’s married to @owlthehybrid and a father.

Roger met Owl when he was crying under a party table.

He’s terrified of Jack, to the point where he’ll completely shut down and obey his boss blindly.

Roger has a generalized anxiety disorder.

He lives with Owl and their daughter Iris.

Roger is 6'8. The shortest of the phones.

Gravity Falls

I have two different AUs. One where Stan didn’t survive Weirdmageddon, falling out of the Fearamid during his argument with Ford, and one that’s more similar to Canon. For this post, I’ll talk about the latter.

Stanford

Ford is an aroace man. He uses he/him pronouns. Also, Bill is the absolute closest he ever got to having a sexual or romantic relationship.

His PhDs are in microbiology, chemistry, astrophysics, physics, and psychology. The others are honorary degrees.

Like Dipper, Ford chews on pens.

He has autism and PTSD, having a hard time with understanding jokes and being sensitive to touch and sound.

He’s legally married to Old Goldie, since Stan married it under his brother’s name.

Ford has both nearsightedness and farsightedness.

He’s about 6'2. Just slightly taller than Stan.

Stanley

Stan is bisexual and panromantic. He uses he/him pronouns.

He’s going out with Fiddleford, who I’ll talk about later. This technically makes him Tate’s stepfather even though they aren’t married. Stan ended up adopting Soos off screen.

He has autism, like his brother. His is a lot more like Mabel’s, where he’s outgoing and loud. He’s not naive because he has experience in life, though.

Stan was an alcoholic. The Pitt cola thing is his replacement for alcohol because the twins came to stay with him.

He has an inferiority complex, seeing himself as less than his brother. Stan has little to no concern for other people’s possessions or emotions, but this is more apathy than spite.

Like Ford, he has nearsightedness and farsightedness. He also has cataracts.

Stan’s 6'1.

Dipper

Dipper is transmasc, asexual, and demiromantic. He uses he/him.

After being possessed by Bill, he gained golden streaks in his hair. His father was, understandably, confused and angry at Stan for allowing his son to dye his hair. He only believed Dipper when he figured out he couldn’t wash the streaks out.

Dipper’s autism presents itself like Ford’s. He takes jokes seriously, and is sensitive to sound. He also struggles with hygiene. He also has PTSD.

He gets braces immediately after coming home from Oregon, to his annoyance.

The reason Stan and Dipper butted heads was because of how loud Stan was and how Dipper reminded Stan of Ford.

He would definitely be obsessed with the Five Nights at Freddy’s series, probably making fangames for it.

He’s going to be about 5’11 when he grows up.

Mabel

Mabel is a pansexual cisgender girl. She uses she/her pronouns.

She has autism. Her autism shows itself in the same way Stan’s does, but she has more support than he did.

Mabel would date Pacifica if she could.

She would definitely be the babysitter of the family.

The reason she and Ford didn’t really interact is because she was intimidated by Ford to a degree and Ford was irritated by her.

Mabel would probably grow up to be a marriage counselor or therapist.

She’s going to be about 5’8 when she grows up.

Fiddleford

Fiddleford is a bisexual cisgender man. He uses he/him pronouns.

He actually stowed away on the Stan’O’War II and came with the Stan twins on their journey to the Antarctic.

Fidds occasionally walks on all-fours out of habit, so the palms of his hands and the bottoms of his feet have thick skin.

Tate didn’t actually abandon him. Fidds actively refused his help, so Tate gave up. You can’t help someone that doesn’t want help. He also may have tried to kill his wife, but he was in a state of insanity at that time.

He’s around the same level of intelligence as Ford, having a PhD in mechanical engineering.

Fidds is about the same age as the Stan twins.

He, standing up straight, would be 6’3.

the shit?

HOLY—

oh god what did i do

IT SUMMONS MAIL EVERYONE TRY IT

Oreos in his mouth

this man is relatable