Dungeons And Dragons

As a male, one of the worst kinds of silence is when you try to pee in the toilet at night and don’t hear a splash

my wife’s so cute because we both love animals so much but her way is very pure and genuine whereas my family is:

me, holding up my cat: stinky

wife: no!! don’t be mean!!!

me, swaying him back and forth in the air: stinky bastard man

wife: No!!!!!!!!

my mother, not looking up from chopping veggies: naughty boy. brat cat

wife, distraught: NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When you’re 30, you’ll have spent an entire month having birthdays.

@feminists-against-feminism

I'm really hoping that's sarcasm- *checks your profile*

Phew, ok you're good.

You've just earned yourself a new follower for being woke •w•)-b

“it’s like freud always said,” says the ‘psychologist’ character in the movie, making everyone in the audience who knows anything at all about psychology flinch involuntarily

@keiimyeh