I’ve seen posts talk about how the idea of motherhood and mothers having a better bond with their children and mothers having a “natural instinct” has hurt fathers and has even caused close interactions btw father and child to be looked down upon and seen a societally unacceptable etc.
But what I haven’t seen is a post that talks about how societies idealized view of relationships between mothers and their children is directly related to society’s acceptance of mothers abusing their children.
Our society activity accepts abuse from mothers and this needs to end.
The idea that if your mother hits you it’s discipline but if your father hits you it’s abuse is wrong. Both interactions are instances of abuse.
I have grown up with a mother who has chased me through the house, punched me many times, kicked me, hurt to me to the point where I’ve been physically ill for weeks. I am a victim of many years physical, emotional and mental abuse.
I suffer from night terrors of my abuse, triggers, touch repulsions, borderline personality disorder, panic disorder, chronic major depressive disorder (my depressive episodes are more frequent than depressive orders typically are for mdd) as a result of how she has abused me throughout my childhood and into my adulthood.
But people, many people even professional therapists have all insisted that as her child I owe her love and affection. Even people who have witnessed her abusing me insist that it is my job to love her because she decided to give birth to me. And decided to raise me.
This mindset has kept many children from being able to seek the help that they need. This mindset keeps children who are dealing with situations they should never have to think about victims to their mother’s abuse. It puts childrens lives in danger. It puts their mental health in danger.
Friends, family, social workers, psychologists, therapists, have all insisted to me throughout my childhood. That I was responsible for my mother, a grown adult, attacking me. That it was still my job as the person she gave birth to, to love her. Because of how society idealizes motherhood.
This cycle needs to end. Immediately. We don’t need put another generation of children through this. We can end this to help children as well as adults who are victims of their mother’s abuse rather than teaching them that it’s acceptable.
@keiimyeh if only I could...♡