Me When

Very complex emotions tied to any kind of fruit turnover. Every time I look at them, I smell pine. I see my hands stained by blackberries. They have claws at the ends of them, and they're covered in dirt. It's cold, I can see my own breath. It isn't like my shifts, though, it isnt just me. I feel like I am not myself and at the same time all the same. It's as if I'm handing my body over to someone else for a moment, still aware it isn't me controlling it, still present, and at the same time, someone else completely.

This is probably some kinda derealization thing, but it only ever happens when it starts to get cold or I see those freaking desserts. It isn't really a pleasant feeling when it happens, but it's still something I weirdly miss. Like I'm inviting someone in, letting them have a break from wherever they came from, even for a moment. Weirdest part? I know who it is. I've known him for a couple of years now, and it always felt like he's a part of me after that.

I don't always actively think about him, I never talk to him unless I'm just really freakin lonely, and it isn't like an actual conversation. It's more like I'm just voicing my thoughts out loud, and he's quietly listening.

I don't really know what's up with that. I could call him an imaginary friend if imaginary friends occasionally took over your brain for a moment and made you incredibly uncomfortable with everything happening. Or maybe I am just simply overthinking, and he isn't real at all. Advice would be nice if anyone can offer it.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

if you’re transgender you have to live no matter what.

You know, if winter grieves me, fall and spring look at me with love and welcoming because they too understand the fact that we all change. No matter how different I am or how conflicted I feel, I'm still me, and that's all that matters.

It would be so silly if I made a big lore dump post about Para Sanar (Minecraft hearthome) and all the gods and characters and builds and and and-

I can feel my brain rattling around in my skull, please, for fucks sake

in all honesty tho, from the bottom of my heart

to the women of all colour...

to the lgbtq+ community...

to the people suffering with long term health...

to the people who didn't vote for him...i'm so unbelievably sorry your country let you down.

hope. hope is the most important thing here. it won't always be like this and better days will return.

When one of my hearthomes IS Minecraft.

nonhuman suggestion: build your hearthome in minecraft

Streaming idea. The first Saturday of every month I stream Portal 2 (Portal 1 or Co-op occasionally to spice it up bit). I play the whole game, beginning to end, all in one stream. I do NOT speedrun it. I play it like it's my first time experiencing it over and over again. Every month. I take the same amount of time to figure out a puzzle as I did last time. I launch myself into the nasty goo just like I did last month. Nothing changes.

You get the same rant about how much I love Doug Rattmann every month and at the end of every stream I devour a slice of black forest cake while the credits play.

Anyways, that's my pitch here's my Rattmann Playlist:

i saw in ur therianthropy day that you have a pack!! could i ask how you went about finding them?

They're just my irl friends :]

I got really lucky with my girlfriend also being an alterhuman. I grew up in a small town where every alternative kid just clung to one another. My group doesn't really call itself a pack, but I see them as my pack. We're like a family. We talk to each other all the time. They don't mind when I act dogish and even join me at times (hence the howling at the moon comment). It also helps that we have a weekly hangout where I can crowd them into my home and just watch over them while they relax. It itches my dog brain just right.

I think community is everything. So if you're looking for a pack, or at least something you consider a pack and you dont want to look online, focus on that. Only one other person in mine is an alterhuman. The rest are humans. Focus on finding people you can be your most authentic self around and encourage them to be themselves. It doesn't have to be a big group. Some packs are just made out of a wolf and their mate. It can just be you and someone you care about.

The most important part of having a pack to me is respect and support. It does wonders for my mental health and gives me so much species euphoria to have such a good support system.

So if you can find some folks in your area who you can trust, and who even if you don't say it explicitly still accept your identity with all of its traits, I think you've got yourself a pack :]

Anyways! A pack is different for everyone, so if you are looking for a pack made up of alterhumans, this post may not have helped, lol. But I hope maybe it gave you something.

I really like making masks and realized I never really showed any of them. This is my main personal mask of my dog theriotype :D

The eyes glow in the dark >:]