No Because Imagine Mountain Either Leaning Against The Doorframe With His Arms Crossed… Sleeves Rolled

I can't even eat my feelings today because of Ozempic

I'd definitely read the shit out of this

would you ever be open to reader x dew having a ghoul kit?

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I was waiting for someone to ask this because I clearly could not leave the ghoul kits/Dew being good with kids alone in my last fic lol but this is the million-dollar question!!

TL;DR—hard maybe! I personally love the idea of it but my interest kind of ends when the kid is actually born haha I feel it'd be a pretty hard pivot for the series if they had to raise a kid. But maybe a while down the road, if it seems like it makes sense for the story and people would be on board to read about it!

BUT now I've been spending all morning thinking HARD about this, so have some little drabbles/headcanons about what would happen if you got knocked up by Dew:

First off, how would you know it's even Dew's if you're sucking and fucking your way across the abbey? Easy—this can be explained away with my new best friend, GHOUL CREAMPIE LORE. I am unable to elaborate further at this time.

Dew would obviously be on board with doing whatever you want to do, but would also be unable to hide the fact that there's nothing in the world he wants more than having this baby. He'd have absolutely no chill.

Like, as soon as the doctor confirms that you're pregnant this mf would be decorating the nursery in his head. Everyone's already caught onto the fact that he secretly loves kids but this would just blow the hatch off him pretending like he doesn't.

This absolutely terrifies all of the ghouls and Copia.

Speaking of which—the ghouls would crack a few jokes about how nobody needs another Dew but they would all also be thrilled!! Who doesn't love a ghoul kit?! They all especially love that you'll be raising it somewhere that isn't the ghoul den, though! Aether and Cumulus have already offered to babysit as much as needed.

Dew's clinginess and possessiveness is now ramped up to eleven. Eleven million. You literally can't go anywhere without him hovering an inch away from you. Always has a hand or tail on you, glaring at anybody who looks at you, constantly rubbing your stomach even when you don't have anything to show for it yet. It's annoying af honestly. He follows you to the bathroom and sits on the floor to stare at you like a cat.

Copia is somehow worse! This man is losing his mind! Mostly with happiness, but everyone's favorite anxious little man of the cloth does not do well with change! He's constantly checking in on you, asking intrusive questions, asking if he can touch your stomach, giving you random little gifts for the baby. He and Dew will definitely butt heads over this and have a few little spats.

You know how cats can sense when you're not feeling well and will drape themselves over your body and purr? Yeah. You're just constantly in a big purring ghoul pile now, this is your life.

Turns out quintessence magic is great for morning sickness. Aether and Phantom are your new best friends. But don't worry, nothing weird is going on—Dew makes sure of that, as he sits with his face practically pressing against theirs, scowling, as they work their magic on you.

To that end, sexy times with the other ghouls came to an abrupt halt as soon as that pregnancy test came back, for both you and Dew. He's only got eyes for you and god help them if anyone else tries to have eyes for you too.

Mountain is extremely enthusiastic about giving you foot rubs. You love it. Dew regards him with extreme suspicion. You don't tell Dew that you can definitely feel his boner when your foot's in his lap, because getting good foot rubs is more important to you than not titillating Mountain's fetishes.

The kid would just be a carbon copy of Dew, except with more human eyes/features/skintone. Everyone will be visibly apprehensive when they see that you literally brought another Dew into the world.

Dew is gonna shock the shit out of everyone by being dad of the year. He won't get everything right and his approach will still be very Dew-like, but he clearly loves it. He's thriving. He's never seemed more in his element than when he's stalking around the abbey with the kit strapped to his chest. He LOVES the attention it gets him from the siblings.

When the kit gets a bit older Dew will become partial to walking them around on a leash. The kit will definitely be taller than Dew by like age 10. It will become unclear who exactly is walking who on the leash.

[x]

A Lack of Engagement Pt. 3: It Gets Worse

[Previous Chapter: Here. Morning regrets, and a search for dick... That's what we're working with here, expect no less.] Below the cut.

There's something uniquely mortifying about being caught jacking it, even if they are ghouls and they're all pretty open about their sexual escapades, this is a little different.

Rain can feel the building of his orgasm, much to his own horror, continue in spite of Dew standing in the doorway, staring!

He's just frozen there, eyeing Rain's dick with an expression he can't quite read, and then he opens his mouth and-

"Why is it blue...?"

-Rain gives a noise of distress, wanting to curl into himself and perish on the spot, but he can't stop himself from giving his cock one more tug, and somehow that's the one that does it.

He has to grip the counter to stop himself from toppling forward with the force of it, and Dew is definitely going to kill him for cumming in front of him like that!

Except he doesn't.

Dew doesn't make a move towards or away from him.

He lingers, and as Rain comes down from his high, he can see the other man's face growing pinker and pinker.

At some point, Dew holds his hands up, face beet red.

Rain tries to speak, but he's still reeling from his orgasm, and trying to breathe normally.

"Fuck..." he manages, "'m sorry..."

"...Your... Your..." Dew swallows, "I..."

They both stand there for a moment before Dew does something that makes Rain gape at him like a fish.

He shuts the door.

Closing them both inside the room.

Rain isn't sure what's about to happen, but the energy in the room has shifted in a strange way, and either Dew is really going to murder him or-

"...I mean, it's fine, right?" he says finally, "We're... married, so... We've probably..."

The kraken stirs.

"Dew, I don't-" Rain coughs, "-I don't think... Um... What're you doing?"

Dew has his thumbs hooked into his boxers.

"E-Eye for an eye, yeah?"

Rain wants to stop him, wants to grab his hands and stop him, but about partway through that thought, he dares a glance at Dew's crotch, and, well-

"...Oh my fucking god."

He's not sure what he expected to see Dew whip out, but this was not it.

It's about four inches long, flaccid, but wriggling with some interest as Dew takes it in hand.

"That's..."

A knock sounds on their bedroom door and Dew hastily packs himself away while Rain does similar, wiping his hands off on a nearby towel.

"Oi, lovebirds! You're gonna miss breakfast if you don't get your asses up!" Cirrus calls, then, after a pause, "...Don't hurry too fast though, Aether's teacing Aeon how to make pancakes, and I think I smell burning."

Rain and Dew share a look, considering.

Okay.

Okay, okay, okay...

"We're gonna pretend that didn't happen." Rain says finally, and Dew nods, "We've gotta... We've gotta focus up and figure out how to turn things back to normal and find the... giant metal penis."

Dew frowns, but nods his head regardless.

There it is again, that strange hesitance.

Rain wants to say something about it, but he also doesn't want to risk making Dew uncomfortable, although-

"I'm... I'm sorry you had to see my dick." Rain apologizes.

"No, no, I'm sorry I showed you mine!" Dew trills awkwardly, "Don't even... Like you said, let's pretend this all didn't happen."

"Right..."

Breakfast is... tense.

Tense, and burnt.

Aeon tried his best, but even with Aether's help, half the pancakes could be classified as briquettes, and Rain isn't sure if he can drown them in enough syrup to make them palatable.

Dew is struggling in his own way, trying to scoop up a wayward strawberry with his fork and failing miserably, until Rain jabs his fork into it and holds it up to his face.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" he asks the rest of the pack nonchalantly as Dew considers his angle of attack, popping the fruit into his mouth before going back to carving at one of his pancakes, which basically snaps under pressure from his knife.

"Ehn, there's a meeting going on with Copia and the rest of the clergy, something about changes to the hierarchy, but nothing that involves any of us at the moment." Aether explains, "Aside from our regular duties, our schedules are all fairly free for the next week or so until they get everything straightened out."

Rain hums and pokes at his breakfast.

"Maybe we could all watch a movie together??" Aurora suggests, the only ghoul actively crunching on the burnt pancakes, giving Aeon a thumbs up when he deposits more of his charcoal bits onto her plate, looking embarrassed, but proud, "Something scary!"

As others chime in with their assent, Dew nudges Rain under the table with his knee, prompting the water ghoul to give a little push back, the two bump each other back and forth for a bit before Rain notices their packmates looking back at them.

"What about you two?" Aurora asks, propping her head up on the back of her hands, "Unless you have other plans...?"

Dew opens his mouth, but finds himself at a loss for words, looking over at Rain, who thinks for a moment before shaking his head.

"We have a, uh," Rain rolls the word 'date' on his tongue, then eyes Dew.

"I don't want to ruin the surprise." he says finally, "He's been hounding me all morning about it, even broke into the bathroom to interrogate me about what I have planned!"

"I DID NO-" Dew balks, then remembers, flushing bright red, "...actually, yeah, I did..."

The table erupts into laughter, save for Rain, who silently thanks Dew for going along with what he said, because, well, it is the truth, albeit not all of it.

"Ohh~? Loverboy is finally making up for forgetting his hubby's birthday?" Swiss teases, pointing his fork at Rain, "Trying to win back those brownie points, huh?"

Rain blinks, sitting up straight.

"I did not forget Dew's birthday." he says, sounding very offended, "I took him t-"

He stops midsentence, slapping a hand over his mouth as he recalls how the two of them spent Dew's birthday this year.

It had been a special request from his friend that they not tell the others what they were getting up to that day, even if it wasn't anything outright embarrassing, Dew had been adamant that no one else know what their plans were for his birthday.

They'd gone to the aquarium, and had spent the entire day joking about which sea creatures they'd eat or had eaten, and at the end of the day, Rain had gifted Dew a marine biology textbook, since he'd been aching to learn more on a scientific level about the creatures they'd encountered.

Rain himself had purchased an octopus plush for himself, which was absurdly large and difficult to smuggle past the other ghouls to avoid suspicion, but worth it in the end, because it really did bring his room together...

"You took him where?" Swiss probes, watching Rain squirm under the attention.

He coughs into his fist and shrugs.

"Nothing." he says, "Just saying I didn't forget is all."

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you sha-" Swiss starts to chant, but Dew shuts down the nonsense by scooting away from the table and standing up.

"Bathroom."

Rain blinks at him, "Oh, uh, alright-"

"You, too." he adds, grabbing him by the scruff.

"OOOOOOH~!" the other ghouls laugh, "Someone's in trouble~"

"...Shut up." Rain mumbles, letting himself be dragged away by the shorter man.

.

.

.

"So... *come* here often?" Dew jokes, and Rain almost chokes on his spit.

They're standing in Rain's on suite again, having decided, for whatever reason, that talking behind a door that literally does not work is better than standing directly in his -their- bedroom.

"Sorry, that was... Anyway, I wanted to discuss our game plan." he says after helping pat Rain on the back, "We have all week to work unimpeded looking for that statue, after that, it'll be difficult to find a spare moment where both of us can look for it together."

"Right... Even if we could look for it by ourselves, the magic only works if there's more than one person present... at least that's the theory we have going, yeah?" Rain concludes, and Dew nods, "That being said, so far, nothing seems out of place aside from, well, us."

"Us being a couple is a significant change, especially since, based on what I've seen on my phone, we've been together for a while now. Like, years." Dew says, slipping his phone out of his pants pocket, "...It'd be one thing if the statue bound us together with some stupid spell, but this is going too far..."

"I'm sorry." Rain apologizes, "I know being married to me is-"

"I mean, it's one thing to mess with our friends' heads and implant memories of a wedding that never happened, but, like, c'mon, let me remember this stuff, too!" Dew complains, startling Rain, who was not expecting this conclusion, "I kept looking through the pictures on my phone and I don't remember any of this, it's not fair, man!"

Rain tilts his head.

"You... want to remember... or, rather, you'd want the spell to make you think we've been married?" he tries, pursing his lips, "What?"

Dew freezes.

"I... Yeah... Maybe..." he rubs his arm, "It just feels... off... otherwise."

Rain feels an ache in his chest.

"Dew, do you... Are you saying..." he pulls back and sighs deeply, "Dew, you're my best friend. I love you, but I'm not in love with you."

"...Same... Same here." Dew replies, but he can't hide the brokenness in his voice, and Rain remembers then Dew's insistence on trying the statue again.

How he'd said they had to be serious.

...How the spell supposedly only worked if the pair before it were lovers.

But it had worked with them!

It had worked, and the statue had even called them out on it!

So...

Rain watches Dew wipe the corners of his eyes, trying to hide the hurt spilling from them.

...could it have worked because of something one-sided?

"I'm so sorry." Dew whispers, "I didn't... didn't want you finding out like this. Sorry, I... I'm sorry, this is how I feel."

"...I'm sorry, too."

.

.

.

The search for the statue is an awkward one.

Dew is still reeling from having his feelings exposed so easily, and Rain is in the midst of processing this new information, trying to figure out how he could have possibly lead the other on.

It's not that he doesn't find Dew attractive, or that they don't get along -they get along very well- and, sure, Rain did jack off to him this morn-

Rain feels a stirring inside of him again.

Goddammit, he thinks, is this part of the spell?

But...

As they browse the abbey's art collection for signs of one large dick, Rain finds himself thinking back on a lot of things.

This isn't the first time he's thought about Dew like that, but he's always managed to push those feelings down pretty well.

Somehow, it doesn't feel right that he's ONLY interested in Dew's body like that.

He likes Dew, he loves the guy, but... not romantically.

Does he very much want to fuck him though?

Yes.

And that's what has him shoving it all into the back of his mind.

Trying to at least.

It doesn't feel right that Dew LIKES him and that he just... he can't reciprocate it.

If he only wants Dew for his body, that's like a whole new level of leading him on.

Yeah, they're ghouls, they fuck around and move on, but things can get messy when feelings are involved.

Cirrus and Cumulus are a fine example of just that.

He cringes at the memories of their fights when they were together, how hard it had been for them to navigate the balance between the sexual freedom they both craved while being devoted to one another emotionally.

It was all a giant shitfest, until they stepped back and actually talked about what they wanted and realized they didn't click as well as they initially thought, and while they're happier than ever now... Rain can't put Dew through that.

But then again, who says monogamy is what the guy even wants?

They probably talked about all of this at some point, given their relationship status in this version of their reality, but it probably didn't happen over text, so fishing through his phone some more isn't going to help their situation.

He has to find that stupid fucking statue!

But...

Rain looks around the room, searching for Dew amongst the various artworks on display and comes up empty.

He feels a mild panic coming on when he sweeps his gaze over the room and, again, finds nothing.

"Dew??"

He looks left and right.

"Hey, hey, Dew, where are you??"

...He's gone.

Shit, shit, shit-

"I'm right next to you, you jerk." A familiar voice grumbles from beside him, and, upon looking down, Rain meets the disgruntled gaze of a very annoyed ghoul.

"Oh, shit, I-I didn't realize you were there-"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever. Let's just keep looking." Dew mutters, clearly unhappy, "Let's get this over with already."

"I..."

"...When we get back..." Dew says, "Don't talk to me."

"...For how long?" Rain frets.

"Forever if you want." he replies, hands in his pockets, "Since you're so tweaked out about shit, and this isn't something you get over in a day, or a week, or a year or whatever..."

"I can't just stop talking to you, you're my f-" Rain starts, but Dew cuts him off.

"Yeah, you're my friend, but you're already looking at me like I'm a freak because of how I feel, and I don't think I can come back from that, Rain." he places a hand on his chest, "Shit fucking hurts..."

"Dew..."

Shrimp and cheese tortellini...Not me practicing my meager cooking skills for when The Handmaid's Tale becames a reality. I'd rather be a Martha as I'm too old for babies.

Taking a deep breath and counting backwards from ten

80,000 year comet

Hi i don’t care if everyone is asleep right now i NEED to share the little thoughts i had while making midnight grilled cheese

(Takes place in a timeline where Dew retires alongside Copia’s ascension to Imperator)

As much as Dew loves his music, loves touring, he thinks it’s time. It already felt off without Aether there, he does not wanna know what it feels like without Copia. He’s done the whole switching frontman act and he was not a fan. Plus there’s something he’s been wanting to do…

They’ve discussed it before, whisper in the dead of night, but it was never feasible with him and Aether touring. When Aether retired the conversation was brought up again. It stayed in the back of Dew’s mind the entire six months they were gone. Now that he’s also decided to settle he brings it up again. He thinks it’s time they finally have their kit. It’s a very long discussion with a lot of tears from both sides and a few self deprecating words from Dew, but ultimately they agree. They’ve waited long enough.

They go back and forth with the Sibling/ghoul duo who heads the nursery at the abbey for a little, just to get things in order. The day comes where Aether and Dew will head down just to visit and Dew is so nervous he’s ready to pass out. Aether is nervous too, but it translates into trying to calm Dew down. They’re both just a mess but in different ways.

Once they’re down there it’s completely different. Dew is so quiet when he sees the little piles of sleeping kits, too afraid to disturb them. The way his tail wags at their little purrs is enough to communicate how he’s feeling though. They don’t really except to find a kit that day, really just meeting them and learning their stories as the Sibling and ghoul walk them around.

That was the plan until one of the little water pups woke up crying. Dew was the closest to her and something in him told him to just…pick her up. He didn’t even stop to think about it, he just did. He’s never held a kit before and he had no idea why she was crying, so he just held her. He tucked her tight to his chest and she responded by nuzzling his nose into his neck. He nearly cried when she licked at his healed over gill scars.

Aether had never been more in love with Dew than he was right then and there. He cleared his throat before asking the Sibling and ghoul how she ended up here. He knew it didn’t matter what they said, the soft look in Dew’s eyes told him everything. But he was curious.

They told them she had been surrendered upon birth by her parent from a smaller branch of the Ministry. They weren’t given many details, just that her parent supposedly lost her mate and did not want to raise a kit on her own. She was named though before she was given up. Pearl. Her name was Pearl.

There was no better name for her. She was completely white with iridescent scales that shone when the light hit them right. The tip of her tail didn’t have a fin on it, but it was longer and thicker than an average water pup’s at that age. Same with her fangs, sharper and longer than what they should be (think leucistic/white alligator).

They decide right there that Pearl is their kit. They finish whatever paperwork the Sibling and ghoul need and the rest is history. Dew’s a little afraid he won’t be good enough, especially since he doesn’t have his water anymore, but he’d be damned if he left Pearl there. He was raised as a water ghoul so that’s not an issue, but when her element really starts to develop they may have to tap in Rain. It hurts a little he’ll never be able to really swim with his daughter though.

It makes him smile every time he thinks about it. His daughter. Aether’s daughter. Their kit. The first night she’s home in the den they kind of just stay up and watch her, the realization still setting in. Aether ends up falling asleep first. Dew promises he’ll always try his best for her and he asks her to forgive him when he inevitably fucks up. He’ll try not to fuck up. He says fuck about three more times before a very groggy Aether tells him to watch his language.