Duke And Tim Middle Child Antics?

imagine vigilante!Marinette in gotham wielding the fox and/or cat but instead of messing with the bats she keeps saving their asses because they cannot last one night without a near death experience

she has to pull batman's cape back to keep him from falling off the roof

picks up nightwing's escrima sticks so he doesn't trip over them again

purposely trips or shoves red hood so he misses a bullet. or multiple bullets.

shakes tim awake because he keep dozing off mid-battle

takes out goons about to sneak up on damian

and they never notice

bonus: it's biodad bw and the whole batfam thinks they're successfully hiding their nightly activities from marinette

Another Miraculous Crossover Nobody Wanted (DCxML)

In the midst of so many Batfamily/Miraculous crossovers, the thing I feel so many people forget is that the Waynes are...well...themselves.

Sure, they're awesome vigilantes. Trained in martial arts and with great mental fortitude to help them against the likes of Scarecrow's fear gas, Joker's venom, and Mad Hatter's manipulations.

...the problem is that Hawk Moth is a whole different ballgame.

He doesn't target their fears or dreams. He targets ANYTHING. Like petty annoyances. Frustrations. Sleep deprivation. Obsessions. Things the Batfamily generally try to ignore on a regular basis.

If he can akumatize and reakumatize the same man over his love of pigeons and people who feel they've been wronged over silly reasons, there's SO MUCH that could come from the complete dysfunction/emotional constipation that is the Wayne family. Remember, ANY frustration or annoyance or upset counts. 

Meaning Ladybug and Chat will be having their hands full with the Waynes until they leave.

And given that Hawk Moth comes up with the silliest costumes and powers...

...the others would never let them live it down.

...

It was a beautiful day in Paris. And an absolutely wonderful vacation to the City of Love, where everything was peaceful and nothing was wrong.

Dick stood at the window looking out over the city.

Tim was on his computer doing some reports. Possibly Wayne Enterprises work, but more likely mission work.

Damien had apparently gotten tired of grumbling and was focused on sharpening his sword—which Bruce really shouldn’t have let him bring. But given the situation, he couldn’t argue against letting Damien have something that would help him stay calm.

Cass had found a magazine to occupy her time, though she seemed somewhat confused as to the male teen model that kept appearing in nearly every line.

And Jason…

…he was grinning. And watching Bruce with such anticipation, looking downright hopeful as he waited. Not helping was that he was holding what appeared to be a brand new camera, fully prepared to start recording.

Bruce knew why.

But he would not give him the satisfaction.

Because nothing was going to happen.

Absolutely nothing.

Bruce twitched.

SNAP!

And his pen cracked from the sheer amount of pressure he was putting on it. Which was admittedly an annoyance, but wasn’t that big of a deal…

…if it wasn’t the 15th pen he’d broken in the past three hours.

It was fine though.

Nothing was wrong.

He was calm.

Calm.

Calm.

A muffled voice could be heard from outside despite the room being on the seventh floor of a building. Which of course was a coincidence and not because someone was actually right outside the room….and the building.

And perhaps if Bruce tried really hard, he could convince himself was just someone singing a line out of “American Pie” and not someone talking about butterflies.

No.

Because there were no butterflies outside. Because he was fine!

Not the slightest bit upset!

At. All.

“That’s thirty-three…” Dick counted.

…

…

…

…Dammit.

Bruce sighed.

“Did she come back to the roof?”

“Actually, she never left.” Tim confirmed, not even looking up from his computer. “She stopped leaving after the last incident and has just been standing there for the past couple hours now, catching them as they come.”

A long pause.

“How…?”

“Her partner has been bringing her water and snacks. And keeping watch whenever she has to leave to hibernate or use the little bug’s room.”

Bruce groaned.

Why couldn’t it be a villain? Or a fan or stalker? He could deal with those. He dealt with them all the time.

It was the well intentioned young superheroes that he had a harder time dealing with. The ones that wanted to help but were misguided in not understanding that their help wasn’t necessary.

“Gotcha!”

“Thirty-four.” Dick droned.

…no matter how many magical butterflies implied otherwise.

“Maybe we should do what the nice Ladybug hero asked and finish up our business in Paris?” Tim suggested.

“I refuse!” Damien shouted, jumping to his feet. “This villain has made a mockery of us and it must not be allowed to stand! I will not leave until he has been caught and my sword has tasted his blood!”

“Damien, we don’t kill, remember?”

“I wouldn’t kill him.” Damien said, looking away with a pout. “Just…dismember him a bit.” He frowned, consideringly. “Maybe cut off his arms. He can’t continue villainy then, right?”

Tim sighed.

“So that’s a no on going home early then.”

They heard a noise from the roof.

“Is she leaving?” Bruce asked, trying to hide how hopeful he was.

“Nope. It’s her catboyfriend back again.” Dick replied, blithely.

Bruce sighed.

“Do you think they’re dating?”

“Dick.” Bruce warned.

“Because the city seems to be really hamming up the romantic angle between the two and it’s kinda hard to not see.” Dick continued. 

“Dick.”

“Even if it is kinda weird that they’re essentially shipping teenagers.”

“Speaking from experience there, Dickie Boy?” Jason cut in, cheekily.

“Stop it. Both of you.” Bruce ordered. “The goal of coming to Paris was supposed to be to deal with the emotional terrorism from Hawk Moth.”

“A little hard with all your emotional constipation there, B.”

Jason smirked.

“Or should I say ‘Justice Man’?”

Bruce twitched.

I firmly believe that Jason Todd was the scrawniest Robin by a very wide margin (he was both short and a beanpole) he earned the nickname Little Wing by literally being a spec of a child.

Sure, all the robins were small (they’re kids) but Jason was notably scrawny.

This is why basically no one saw it coming that he was Red Hood. My man died, fucked off for four years, experienced puberty and came back 14 inches taller and built like a fridge.

I love how you know that and are willing to inflict it on the rest of us.

batfamily twitter but it’s tim drake being a rapscallion

Editing next week's episode of the podcast, and I noticed we introduced our guest as having a PhD from Notre Dame.

At the time, I thought nothing of it, because usually when one says that, it's understood that you mean the university in Indiana, and that is in fact the case here -- she has a PhD in Medieval Studies from the University of Notre Dame, the one in Indiana.

But, as we all know, Notre Dame just means "Our Lady" -- i.e., Mary -- and so lots of things are named that, especially when Catholics are doing the naming.

There are of course other educational institutions called "Notre Dame". When I was growing up, we were all aware of the nearby "College of Notre Dame of Maryland" -- not because of any particular prestige the college possessed, but because its initials spelled CoNDoM, which is a very funny thing to happen to a Catholic institution.

I double-checked this when making this post, and apparently they changed their name to "Notre Dame of Maryland University" in 2011 after over a century of being called CoNDoM.

But you could iterate this idea into absurdity.

There is of course the cathedral:

"Yes, I have a PhD from Notre Dame." "Oh, the one in Indiana?" "No, the one in Paris. You know, Quasimodo and all that." "I didn't know they granted degrees." "Well, it's honorary."

A variety of just... places:

"Yes, I have a PhD from Notre Dame." "Oh, the one in Indiana?" "No, Notre Dame Bay. In Newfoundland." "Um..." "The Lady of the Bay, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft a sheepskin from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I was an expert in my field."

And, naturally, the original:

"Yes, I have a PhD from Notre Dame." "Oh, the one in Indiana?" "No, Notre Dame. Our Lady. Mary, Mother of God." "Sorry, what?" "She appeared to me in a vision and said I had a doctorate now." "I wasn't aware her authority extended to the granting of terminal degrees." "You want to tell her that?"

...this whole post is just such nonsense. Maybe that fever hasn't really dissipated yet.

I don't think this one deserves them, no.

bc marinette should have a chinese name:

i was messing around with chinese names bc i figured marinette would 100% have one given that sabine is a first gen immigrant— so came up with this:

cheng meiyun!! (or 郑梅运）

because sabine is mandarin, “cheng” is probably “zheng”—郑. i toyed around with how it could also be “zhang” because “cheung” is zhang, but she’s not cantonese, so… 

“mei” (梅）— “梅花“ (mei hua) means plum blossom, but mei by itself could also be a substitute for that! n the flower designs on marinette’s undershirt could very well be plum blossoms… 👀

plum blossoms also symbolize perseverance and hope!! 

“yun” (运）— means luck! honestly this is self explanatory in marinette’s case shfljksdfkj 

also a play on words, but although the “mei” in marinette’s name means plum (blossom), another meaning for “mei” (with the character “没”) means none, so her name could also be read aloud as “no luck” bc as much as she’s supposed to be lucky as ladybug we’ve seen marinette horribly unlucky too :’)) i love double meanings and plays on words even though no sane parent would name their child no luck 

my friend and i realized Jason probably has had to make a list of things he missed while he was dead Steve Rogers style so obviously I had to make this, enjoy

And here’s the empty one in case anyone wants to make their own lmao

I do not like having jingly keychains, but I like that my father does. His chain has the car keys, a Swiss army knife, a longer Swiss Army knife, a small metal Captain America shield, and a few other trinkets that he wears in his belt loop with one of those big clips (the metal ones for rock climbing- carabiners).

Anyway my dad has been wearing that specific set of trinkets for my entire life. It is not loud but because of the trinkets it makes a very specific jingle.

So when my brother and I got lost at a Disney park during one of your extended family vacations (25 people is a lot and very easy to be overlooked), we tracked down the rest of our family by walking around the general area in a circle to hear down the different streets until we heard it. All the way from the opposite end of the street and around a corner.

We got back to them fast enough that nobody knew of our little crisis and all because of my Dad’s obnoxious key chain.

having a little jingly keychain is all fun and games, until you’re walking around somewhere that’s dead quiet…..like oh i’m sorry i just my trinkets are jangling around……n suddenly your the court jester and everyone is pointing and laughing at you for your noisey fucking keychain…..bobo the clowncore

New headcanon that the whole family carries on their own versions of the Brucie Wayne persona in order to keep up appearances, giving the whole family a reputation of a bunch of beautiful idiots. Everyone EXCEPT Damian. He understands the necessary evil of it, but he can't. He can't do it y'all it's beneath him.

So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like

He becomes a localized meme. The Baby Wayne, fighting for his life every day against his family of well meaning morons.