I GOT SO SCARED THIS WAS REAL FOR A MOMENT BEFORE READING THE USER

Back in my early twenties when I weighed about 90lbs I was always freezing cold. For this reason I wore jackets like an exoskeleton, layering a button up, hoodie, and an outer long wool coat. The upshot of this was always having tons of pockets, in which I carried a vast array of things.

Practical things like my keys, wallet, chapstick, of course. But also less conventional things like stray buttons, paperback books, little toys, nail clippers, and open bags of candy when I offered strangers new acquaintances candy they always said yes which either says they weren’t raised right or I’m more charming than years of being told not to do that.

I really loved my coats but I did sometimes need to move quicker than they allowed. I remember a friend’s utter astonishment when I saw someone I needed to run up to and said hold my coat. He was left holding my carapace and when I returned he couldn’t stop staring. “You’re so small under there, I’ve thought you were a normal person this whole time but it was all coat!”

At the doctors office getting weighed a week or so later I asked if I needed to take off my coat and boots. She said no, and I stepped on the scale. “A hundred and twenty pounds,” she announced.

My eyebrows shot up and I said, “Sorry, hang on.” I shucked my coat and boots to her impatience and stepped back on.

Her eyes widened and she looked back from me to the coat before saying accusingly, “Ninety seven.”

I nodded and redonned my protective carapace.

AU in which Link was raised by Ganon & meets Zelda for the first time

I had fun designing emo chunibyo Link! Inspired by TOTK Ganondorf's clothes and gerudo voe outfit - Link here mainly fights with gloom sword (katana style) but it weakens him 💔

He can control gloom to a certain degree but he also... isn't immune to it so he's perpetually gloom damaged rip😂

I want him to lose his memories in a fight and get adopted by the champions, fall in love with Zelda, and defect!! Give me all the cliches!!

EDITED TO ADD:

Ganondorf is not very good in this AU!

He's a demon king in hiding, biding his time for conquest. He snatched up Link as a child & raised him to be a lonely henchman.

Ganon taught him everything Link knows (so he can be useful to Ganon) but Ganon definitely does not have Link's best interest in mind💔

Bad idea of the day: Exploring a Minecraft ancient city while in real life, it's the middle of the night and pouring rain with a tornado warning.

In other unrelated news, I will not be sleeping for a while

Dare I say, The Legend of Zelda?

The Lady of the Lake but she reaches her arm out of public toilets and offers random people a gun to overthrow the government

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Don't forget your zip code map when coming up with fake zip codes! All US zip codes will start with one of these numbers

Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.

I feel like a sleeper agent. Sleeper for what? WHO KNOWS! Someone's gonna say the word 'mango' or something and I'm either going to blow up a building or make the fastest white boy chicken quesadilla ever seen

Happy BOTW day!

forgot botw re;ased today i kinda forget what day im living sometimes so uhuhu here extra post

Loved one got top surgery yesterday so I made this for him but I think y’all would appreciate it too

y’all really recommend books like: title, there are gay characters, enemies to lovers, young adult, written by poc

not once do i ever see a summary