“Then You Will Not Strike Ser Jinn While Under Contract With The Naboo, And If I Had My Way, I’d

Robin Musings, as per Jon Kent

aka Superboy (when Kon is not around), Certified Baby, Farmboy Extraordinaire

Robin I/Nightwing

Hi Mr. Damian's Mom

Oops sorry

Wow you're nice

How come Damian's so snippy then

Nightwing is so cool

Can I be your heir, daddy already has Kon

Oh no Damian's hissing again

Robin II/Red Hood

Golly!

You're really big and muscular

Like a cow

That wasn't an insult, cows are really strong!

Dami said that he thinks you're cool

But he won't tell you himself for some reason

Oopsie

Robin III/Red Robin

Oh hi Timmy, Kon's upstairs

Daddy said that I have to go with you because he doesnt want y'all to be Naughty

So since you can't go out, can you help me with my homework

Math is hard :(

If you help me, I'll take my time in going to the kitchen

Deal!

Oh no, I feel devious

Is this what Dami feels like all the time

Robin IV/Spoiler

Hiya Steffie

Why're you hiding up here

Is Uncle Bruce mad at you

That's alright, he's in a rotten mood today

It might be because I set fire to the coffee machine

I didn't mean to, I can't control my heat vision

I guess we have to go on the lam together

Do you need a sidekick

I look good in purple

Robin V/Damian Wayne

Dami :D

Are you coming to the farm for our sleepover

It's not a reconnaissance mission Dami

Mom says that we gotta he in bed by ten

Sneak out!?

But that's bad :(

Oh no I am falling into the trap of peer pressure

Later…

But moooooom

We saved the world!

I can't believe that we saved the world and got grounded

Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

Jason: Where is my Mr. Darcy? I’m a good person! At this rate I’m going to die an old maid!

Bruce: Jason, you’re twenty. You still have seven more years before you have to start worrying.

So the tire-eating potholes in my neighborhood finally killed both my rear tires and I had to get that dealt with, but while they were getting replaced, I put the dogs in puppy daycare and upon picking them up early, the attendant literally sprinted to the front desk, grabbed me by the shoulders and breathlessly exclaimed "YOUNEEDTOCOMESEEWHATYOURDOGSAREDOING"

While she escorted me back to the play yards, she explained that every time they have more than three Corgi, they have to put all the Corgs in a separate play yard because they turn into a little gang and bully the Very Large dogs by playing Cow Herding Simulator 5000 with them, and especially if Herschel is there, because corgis are bossy-pants dogs, and Herschel has the bossiest pants of them all and acts as leader.

Despite being a little Don Corgleone to the short bitch mafia, Hershcel is also a Huge Baby and will apparently cry and cry and try to climb the fence and cry and eat people's shoelaces and cry if he is separated from Charlie during playtime, so this means any time that "Corgi Party" is happening, Charlie also has to go to Corgi party, despite being full-height, running cat software and a senior citizen. he copes with being Gulliver amongst the Liliputians by climbing onto the roof of the playskool castle they have for a climbing structure in the yard, kicking the ladder down behind him, and stretching out to nap in the sun while the corgi frolic and gambol around him.

Corgi are dogs that make up and play games with secret rules, like kindergartners. "Everyone bark in sync" is a popular game, as is "follow the leader" and it's companion game "March in a circle around a tall structure like ants caught in a death loop".

So what I was greeted with, when the attendant and I snuck out to the play yard, was the sight of Charlie, sound asleep and flat on his back with his paws crossed over his chest because sighthounds sleep in the stupidest fucking positions, on top of a faux-medieval castle with gargoyles on the corners, surrounded by approximately seven Corgi, all trotting in a circle around him, barking in sync.

"They look like they're preforming some kind of ritual!" giggled the attendant as attempted to get my phone to focus.

"Yeah, they're gonna summon Corgtulhu." I said.

Unfortunately, this made the attendant literally fall on her ass laughing, and distracted Herschel and his compatriots, so they didn't get to complete the summons, and I didn't get the pic.

The attendant kept laughing because apparently she's new to puns, and had mostly gotten it under control by the time we got everyone's leashes on and back out to the front.

The manager was watching the front desk, bemused. Did you get to see them doing the ritual?"

"YEAH!" shrieks the attendant, still excitable with merriment. "THEY'RE- THEY WERE-" The attendant ends up giggling on the floor.

"You okay there Katie?" asked the manager with minimal concern.

"We think they were trying to summon Corgthulhu." I eplain, and Katie screams from the floor. "Wasn't gonna work though, you need a virgin sacrifice and Charlie had an STD when we got him."

It was the manager's turn to shriek. and for Charlie and Herschel to start barking in solidarity.

"That's right Charlie! Your sluttiness saved the world!" I told him, as he jumped up and kicked me in the face.

Anyway, that's why Charlie's nickname at daycare is now "Superman(whore)"

---

If you found this story amusing, please consider donating to my Ko-fi or pre-ordering the Family Lore book on my Patreon so I can buy the good dogs more treats.

Obi-Wan smiles innocently up at Jango as he drags a hand down his face. “Jailbait?”

“Just start the kriffing ship.”

sobs i failed to realise i was writing a political drama until just now and i had the same realisation for hunger ‘verse last week 

i will lie in this can of worms i’ve dug

Hopping on the Vine compilation bandwagon, part 1/?

[image description: an ask by @arbrehoux​ that says “Hi! I’m just getting into spinning, and I wanted to ask how to finish off the yarn once you’ve spun all you want. I’ve tried googling it, but every website I look at skips straight from the actual spinning to soaking. I’m using a drop spindle, if that’s relevant.” end image description]

soaking usually IS the way to finish yarn ! i’ll give you the best step by step i can though (and for future reference, this applies to pretty much every single spinning method, so you can do this with yarns spun on a spinning wheel, a supported spindle, a drop spindle, a navajo spindle, a charkha wheel, or whatever else you might encounter. it’s all yarn, so it can all be finished the same way.)

step 0: if you plan on plying your yarn, do it before finishing. you don’t need to finish singles if you plan to ply them. finishing relaxes the yarn, so if you finish a singles and then ply it, it will end up being somewhat limp unless you overply it (which makes yarn less elastic and more rough) but if you spun a singles and want it to remain a singles, never to be plied, then you can certainly finish it as a singles.

step 1: remove the yarn from your spindle (or bobbin, or whatever it is on) and wrap it around something as it comes off. a niddy noddy is great for this, but not necessary. you can wrap your yarn around a big hardcover book or the back of a chair, or whatever. when taking yarn off a drop spindle, i usually just toss the spindle on the ground and let it roll around as I wind the yarn off. if you’re worried about it catching on something, put the drop spindle in a box or mixing bowl instead and let it roll around in there.

[image description: a somewhat blurry closeup of a tattooed man’s hands. in his right hand he’s holding a hardcover book. in his left he’s wrapping yarn around the book lengthwise. a red line has been drawn in to show the path of the yarn as he winds. end image description]

step 2: tie your yarn off. you can use the messy looking ends of the yarn if you wish, or another piece of yarn or string. just tie a simple knot around the hank. you want at least two knots, but if you’re really worried about it tangling, you can do more. the purpose of tying your yarn off is to stop it from tangling in the next steps, to make it easier to work with when you wind it into a ball or cake later, and to keep it looking tidy.

[image description: a closeup of the yarn on the book from the previous image. a knot has been tied around all the strands of yarn on that side. there is a red arrow pointing to the knot. end image description]

step 2.5: if you want to know your yardage or meterage, this is the time to do so. first, count how many strands you have. second, measure how many inches or centimeters it takes to span the entire length of the book (so, front, back, and the width of both the top and bottom). In this case I think it was 8 strands and 24 inches for the whole book. that means the whole yarn is 192 inches (8x24=192) and the yardage is 5.3 (192/36=5.3). same steps if it’s centimeters and meters, of course. also, if you’re thinking “wow, I have to measure whatever i’m winding my yarn on every time ? that sounds annoying”, then you’re seeing why niddy noddys are so helpful and you should get or make one. my niddy noddy takes 2 yards to span it, meaning whenever i wind yarn on, after counting it i can just multiply my result by 2 and know how many yards i have (if i have 100 strands and i know each strand spans 2 yards, that means my whole skein is 200 yards. so much simpler.)

step 3: soak your yarn. or just get it wet. i usually run my yarn under the tap for a few seconds to make sure it is fully wet, but you can also put it in a bowl with some water and make sure it’s fully submerged. leave it there for a few minutes.

step 3.5: if your yarn isn’t very soft and you want it to be softer, you can add conditioner (just like, the normal stuff you use for your hair) to the bowl before you put the yarn in to soak. if you’re softening it this way, leave it in the bowl of water for at least an hour, or even overnight. when you take it out, rinse it briefly. this step is only necessary if you want your yarn softer.

step 4 (optional): go outside and snap your yarn like a whip a few times. this evens out twist and flicks a lot of the water off, so it will dry faster too. if your yarn has some spots that are really undertwisted or overtwisted or both, this is a good way to help reduce that and make more evenly plied.

step 5: let your yarn dry completely. in the summer i hang my yarn over the clothesline, and in the winter i usually put it over a heating vent. doesn’t matter how you do it. remember that wool in particular can feel dry even when it has a fair amount of water in it, so don’t grab it the second it feels dry–give it a while longer to actually dry.

you should notice that your yarn looks different now that it’s dry. if it’s wool, it’s likely puffed up some (to varying degrees depending on the breed of animal it came from, as well as whether it was roving or a batt or a rolag or whatever else, and also depending on how you spun it. it’s a cool thing to pay attention to.)

step 6: skein your yarn. pick up the hank and drape it over your thumb or hand or whatever. the vast majority of yarns will twist a little in one direction when you do this, from residual twist. some yarns will twist a lot, others only barely. note the direction that it twists in–to the left or to the right. put your other thumb at the other end of the hank, and start twisting one thumb in the opposite direction that your hank twisted in. i usually twist with one thumb until i can’t easily twist it anymore, and then twist with the other thumb. your nice loop should now look kind of like a piece of rope, with your thumbs still hooked into each end.

[image description: the first image shows the yarn hooked over each thumb, with two twists in the middle. the second image shows that same yarn, which now has so much twist it looks like rope. his thumbs are still hooked into each end. end image description]

you now want to find the center point of your ‘rope’ and fold it there. your ‘rope’ should kind of snap into place, looking like a much larger version of a 2 ply yarn. it’s nice and stable like this, and can be transported or stored easily (plus it’s pretty !). the last step is to take one of the loops you had your thumb in and push it through the other loop. this stops it from unraveling.

btw: the reason we twist it the opposite direction that it wants to turn is the same reason we ply in the opposite direction that we spin. if you spin Z and ply Z your yarn isn’t going to be structurally sound, and it’ll look pretty bad, too. when it comes to skeining you’re not adding any structural stability to the actual yarn, but the looks still matter–if your Z plied yarn is twisted Z while skeining, your skein will be limp and lifeless and not very pretty. if it’s twisted S, it’ll be nice and balanced and neat looking. it’s purely an aesthetics thing, but it also only takes half a second to figure out, so why not do it ?

and you’re done ! your yarn is now finished and skeined, and you know the yardage/meterage. you can label it with all relevant info if you want (for example: 4 ounces shetland roving, 2 ply, 350 yards, light worsted weight, finished august 2022, spun on a wheel)

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