Omg a de-aged Obi-Wan/Jon fic. They both were de-aged to like, 14-15 and don't have their memories past that. They're trapped in a Sith Temple with Very Stressed Cody, a Confused and Concerned Rex, and Low-key Entertained and Terrified Ahsoka. Chaos, emotional pain/bonding, and stress screaming occurs
Rex feels a little like he got run over by a bantha.
“Easy, Rex,” Ahsoka says from somewhere close, and then there's a hand on his shoulder, helping as he struggles up. Rex appreciates the assistance; he feels as if his head got rung like a bell, and his body right along with it. There's no ringing in his ears, though, none of the shakiness that a concussion grenade would have left him with, and when he pries his eyes open Ahsoka looks rattled, but entirely unharmed.
“What the kriff was that?” Rex asks, putting a hand to his head. A few paces away, Cody is stirring on the stone floor, sprawled out uncomfortably, and Rex pushes up, lets Ahsoka grab his arm and steady him as he staggers over to Cody's side.
“Some old Sith trap,” she says disgustedly, and drops to her knees next to Cody, gently pulling him over onto his back. Rex crouches down as well, pulling his helmet off, and when Cody's dazed eyes flutter open, he gives him a crooked grin.
“Come on, vod,” he says. “I know your head’s hard enough to survive that.”
“Go away, Rex,” Cody says with a groan, and Rex scoffs. Before he can say anything, though, Cody's eyes fly open again, and he jerks up. “The general!”
Ahsoka turns, pointing towards the huge, heavy stone door that stands tightly shut. “Master Obi-Wan and Master Antilles threw us clear when the trap went off,” she says. “I tried to get the door open, but it won't move.”
Cody blinks for a moment, staring at the door. Then, carefully, he squints at Ahsoka, and says, “I thought Jon Antilles died on Queyta, getting the swamp gas antidote.”
Well, Rex thinks wryly. That definitely puts a new spin on Obi-Wan’s surprise when he dropped out of the rafters and sliced apart one of the half-mad native beasts that was chasing them.
Ahsoka grins. “It’s like a Temple game,” she says. “Whatever record-keeper is on duty when one of Master Antilles’s death reports comes in has to buy the rest drinks that night. I think it’s happened twelve times in the last three years.”
Jetii, Rex thinks, and rolls his eyes. Cody just looks pained.
“They're trapped in there?” he asks, climbing gingerly to his feet. “We need to get them out.”
That, Rex thinks, is an understatement. They're deep in the bowels of a Sith temple, with several dozen dangerous creatures, Sith ghosts, and a whole trap-filled maze between them and the exit. And Anakin is lost somewhere in here with them, separated early on but probably neck-deep in trouble if Rex knows anything at all about his general. They’ve got no comms, no backup, and no way out except right through the most dangerous parts of the temple.
Just another Centaxday, Rex thinks, and wonders if Fox will be willing to recommend some good ulcer medicine when the stress invariably gives him one. Or several.
“I already tried the door,” Ahsoka says, as she and Rex follow him up. “There's some kind of shield over it—I can't cut through—”
As if in response to her words, the doors shudder, creak. They bow towards Rex, Cody, and Ahsoka, like something is pushing from the inside and straining against the lock, and Cody shout a warning. He falls back, dragging Rex with him, and Rex would be offended about getting manhandled like a shiny if he wasn’t more concerned with grabbing Ahsoka and pulling her along. She eels out of his grip, though, darts in front of them and drops into a ready stance, drawing her lightsaber. The green blade ignites with a hiss just as the doors snap back to flat—
With a yelp, a flail, a flurry of cloth, two bodies pass right through the stone like it’s an illusion, tumbling out onto the floor. Behind them, something slams into the door with enough force to rattle it in its frame, and the figures scramble up, untangling themselves quickly.
Rex thinks, with a distinct sinking feeling, that he would know that red hair anywhere.
“What was that?” the teenage boy—probably sixteen at most—with Obi-Wan’s hair and accent demands. He grabs the arm of the other boy, just about the same age but completely enveloped in an oversized cloak that’s closer to green-grey than standard Jedi brown, and they scramble backwards, right into Ahsoka. She yelps, dropping her lightsaber, and all three of them go down in a tangle of curses.
Rex doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t.
“What the heck,” Cody breathes.
“Master Obi-Wan!” Ahsoka complains. “Ow, ow, you're on my lek, get off—”
Antilles scrambles up, leaping back like he just got stung, and he jerks around—
Rex catches his arm. “Sir, just wait—”
There's a wrench, a sharp, startled sound, and suddenly Rex is airborne. He yelps, hitting the ground on his back, and wheezes as all the air is knocked from his lungs. Someone hisses, and Ahsoka cries out angrily, and Cody takes a half-step forward in alarm.
And then, before anything can happen, Obi-Wan shoves himself between Antilles and the rest of them, herding the other boy back a step. “Wait!” he says loudly, and Antilles twitches, ducks his head, but doesn’t move out from behind Obi-Wan.
“Wait,” Obi-Wan says again, raising his hands, and Rex pushes up on one elbow just to take in the sheer weirdness that is Obi-Wan baby-faced and beardless, padawan braid trailing down behind his ear. “You just startled him, that’s all. He saved me from the beasts in there, he isn't an enemy. And I'm not, either.”
Ahsoka glances back at Rex as she straightens, and her expression is caught between pure bewilderment and rising horror. “Master Obi-Wan?” she asks warily. “Do you recognize me?”
“Master,” Obi-Wan repeats, bemused. “I'm sorry, you must be mistaken. I'm a padawan. I haven’t even made Knight yet, let alone Master.”
Behind him, Antilles shifts, and Rex thinks he sees him swallow. He steps forward, and when Obi-Wan turns to him in alarm, he half-raises a hand, almost touching Obi-Wan’s arm, before he hesitates and drops it.
“If you need a Knight,” he says, “I'm Knight Jon Antilles.”
Rex blinks, exchanging glances with Cody, who looks equally confused. After a moment, Rex just shrugs. He hasn’t heard of Jedi making Knight so young, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
Ahsoka looks far less at ease with this information. “You're a Knight?” she demands. “But you're fifteen—”
“Sixteen,” Jon mutters, sort of shrinking back under his hood.
“—sixteen,” Ahsoka corrects without missing a beat, “and most Human Jedi don’t make Knight until they're at least twenty!”
There's a moment as Obi-Wan blinks at Ahsoka, and then he looks from her to the dropped lightsaber. “You're a Jedi,” he says in surprise. “I don’t recognize you from the crèche, though. Are you not from the Coruscant Temple?”
“Of course I'm from the Coruscant Temple,” Ahsoka says. She holds out a hand, calling her lightsaber to her, and studies Jon and Obi-Wan for a moment. “Do you…remember anything about the war?”
“War?” Jon asks, quietly alarmed. He steps forward—
Obi-Wan catches his arm, pulling Jon back to his side, and says, “Which war? Were we called out to negotiate? But why would two padawans be sent?”
“My Master is somewhere in this place,” Ahsoka says, and it’s a sidestep worthy of Obi-Wan. “We need to find him, but the only way back up to the main part is through that door.”
Jon and Obi-Wan glance back at it just as something hits it from the inside again, making it shudder. Obi-Wan’s expression firms into bloody stubbornness and he reaches for the lightsaber on his belt, but before he can draw it, Jon catches his arm.
“Have you tried communicating with them?” he asks softly, glancing at the doors. They shake again, and he hesitates, then says, “They have minds, beneath the rage and darkness. I can feel it.”
“They were a little too busy trying to eat us for us to try that,” Ahsoka says, watching him. “You think you can manage it? Even with how angry they are?”
“He can if we help him,” Obi-Wan says, hope rising in his tone. “The three of us together should be strong enough to influence them.” A smile breaking across his face, he turns his hand, catching Jon's arm, and says, “Let us help, Jon.”
Jon stares at him for a long moment, eyes wide beneath the shadow of his hood, and then very deliberately ducks his head so it hides him completely. He doesn’t answer, just jerks his head in a quick nod, but Rex can practically feel the rising heat of a blush. And, judging by the way Ahsoka's brows are rising, that’s not the only thing to feel.
“Oh,” she says. “Oh, wow. Mas—Obi-Wan? He’s your type? But everyone in the Archives always talks about how you and Jango Fett—”
“What,” Jon says blankly.
“What,” Cody says, at twice his normal volume.
“I'm everyone’s type,” Obi-Wan says, miffed. “And I certainly don’t know anything about Jango Fett, but whoever he is—”
“Wait, wait,” Rex says, more plea than anything, and raises his hands. If this goes on for much longer, Jon is going to dissolve into a puddle of sheer embarrassment behind Obi-Wan and Ahsoka, and since he’s got an idea how to get them out of here, Rex has a vested interest in not letting that happen. “We need to focus. Sir—Knight Antilles, can you really get those animals to let us through?”
“Yes,” Jon says, apparently relieved to escape the previous topic. “I—”
“We’re helping,” Obi-Wan says firmly, and tugs Jon a step closer to him. Jon looks a little like a deer in the lights of an oncoming transport, but he allows it without flipping Obi-Wan over his shoulder and slamming him into the ground. Not that Rex is annoyed about that. Much.
“Okay,” Jon says, almost soundless, and when Obi-Wan smiles at him he twitches like he wants to bolt.
Cody rubs a hand over his eyes and mutters to himself, which is the equivalent of anyone else beating their head against a wall while swearing. “We need to find General Skywalker as soon as possible,” he says. “Ahsoka—”
Ahsoka rolls her eyes, but heads for Obi-Wan and Jon, grabbing them both by the neck of their robes. “I'm the same age as my Grandmaster and I'm stuck in an old Sith temple with my Master missing, a legendary Jedi Master tripping over his own feet whenever my Grandmaster smiles at him, and no good way out. This is fine.”
Ahsoka, Rex reflects, has been learning far, far too much from Anakin. It’s mildly horrifying.
Jon makes a low, offended sound, but lets her steer him. “You're like Knol,” he says, as if this is some damning indictment of her character.
“Master Ven’nari?” Ahsoka says, suddenly far more interested. “Can't she breathe fire?”
Jon pauses, clearly caught off guard by this unexpected response, and gives her a wary look. He doesn’t answer, which is probably for the better. At least as far as Rex's stress levels are concerned.
“Beasts,” Rex says firmly. Ahsoka doesn’t need the ability to breathe fire. Rex doesn’t need Ahsoka with the ability to breathe fire. Not in the least.
“Who even are you?” Obi-Wan asks, cuttingly polite as he eyes them. “Planetary officials?”
“Soldiers,” Cody says. “Your soldiers. We serve the Jedi.”
Another traded glance between Jon and Obi-Wan, this time bewildered.
“Oh,” Jon says, soft. “You're not twins, you're clones.”
Cody very clearly makes the decision not to ask how he knows. “We are,” he agrees. “It’s our duty to get you out of here safely—”
From the look on Obi-Wan’s face, incredibly unimpressed and vaguely offended, this goes over with his general at sixteen about as well as it does at thirty-six. Jon doesn’t look all that much more convinced, either.
Ahsoka snickers, because she’s terrible. “We’ll get them out, too,” she tells Obi-Wan soothingly, and Obi-Wan snorts softly.
“We’d better,” he says, and turns, giving Jon a bright smile. “Are you ready, Jon?”
Jon stares at him for a moment, and then very carefully, very deliberately, he slides his hands out of the enveloping shadow of his cloak and offers them up. He’s not wearing the gloves he had on as an adult, and Rex can see Obi-Wan’s eyes lingering on the scarred skin for an instant before he reaches out, wrapping his fingers around Jon's.
“And what am I? Bantha fodder?” Ahsoka asks, unimpressed, and drops a hand on top of theirs, making them both startle.
“Ah, young love,” Rex murmurs, trying not to grin, and Cody groans.
“Can you knock me out again?” he asks.
Rex would, but the doors are opening, the Jedi are doing something, and there’s a big, ugly feline with long teeth bearing down on them, so he has slightly more important things to worry about at the moment.
[On AO3]
the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u
“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”
You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.
I find a lot of arguably mean things funny, but there’s a special place in my heart for hardcore hipsters who insist they love tea despite having no idea how to brew it and just choking down that hot bitter disaster while insisting it’s God’s gift to man
making chinese lantern - bunny lantern, tiger lantern, flower lantern by 香香手工教程
Actor David Suchet was taught how to eat a mango in ‘polite company’ by Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. On May 2 1990 Suchet was at a private lunch at Buckingham Palace, per the Queen’s invitation. It was his 44th Birthday. He discovered the Queen likes to invite people from all walks of life whom she finds interesting.
During lunch, Suchet was served a mango and suffering from an acute attack of nerves, he turned to Prince Philip, confessing he didn’t have the slightest idea how to deal with the fruit. That provoked an enourmous laugh from Prince Philip, who replied immediately, ‘Well, let me show you,’ and demonstrated what exactly one should do. Suchet was relieved he wasn’t left floundering and was now able to eat the fruit in front of him.
Later that day he told the story to Brian Eastman, the producer of Agatha Christie’s Poirot, and asked him if they could include it in the episode they were soon to film, 3x09: The Theft of the Royal Ruby.
“We sent a copy of the finished film to Buckingham Palace on DVD, and I’m thrilled to say that it became the late Queen Mother’s favourite film. Indeed, whenever I’ve met the Duke of Edinburgh since that lunch, he always calls me ‘the mango man’.” - David Suchet, Poirot and Me
Obi-Wan smiles innocently up at Jango as he drags a hand down his face. “Jailbait?”
“Just start the kriffing ship.”
sobs i failed to realise i was writing a political drama until just now and i had the same realisation for hunger ‘verse last week
i will lie in this can of worms i’ve dug
A collection of Ways to Tie a Necktie
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How to fold a shirt
Choosing a suit that fits
6 ways to tie a Scarf
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