By Marvelous_Writer

So Nick Fury losing his eye or...?

You know what’s a million times more exciting than a random plot twist that comes out of nowhere? A plot twist that was foreshadowed by things you didn’t realize were foreshadowing at first. Nothing makes me go absolutely bananas like the feeling of “oh FUCK…[seemingly unrelated thing] WAS FORESHADOWING”

Keeping this so I can help my future child on their finals.

2020 – what happened so far

(it’s impossible to include all, but I try my best)

January

January 1 – Palau became the first country to ban sun creams containing ingredients that are harmful to coral and marine life.

January 2 – The government of New South Wales, Australia, declares a state of emergency whilst the government of Victoria, Australia declares a state of disaster amid large bushfires that have killed as many as 500 million animals.

January 3 – A US drone strike at Baghdad International Airport kills Iranian general Qasem Soleimani and Iraqi paramilitary leader Abu Mahdi al-Muhandis.

January 5 – Iran pulls out of the 2015 nuclear deal, will not limit its uranium enrichment.

January 7 – 56 people are reported killed and over 200 injured in a crush at the funeral of general Qasem Soleimani in the city of Kerman, Iran.

January 7 – A 6.4 magnitude earthquake in Puerto Rico, island’s largest in a century, kill 1 person and destroy 800 homes.

January 8 – Ukraine International Airlines Flight 752 is shot down by Iran’s armed forces shortly after takeoff from Tehran Imam Khomeini Airport, killing all 176 people on board.

January 8 – Duke and Duchess of Sussex announce they are stepping back as “senior” royals, will work towards becoming financially independent.

January 16 – The impeachment trial of the President of the United States, Donald Trump, begins in the US Senate.

January 26 – Kobe Bryant and his 13-year-old daughter Gianna Bryant dies in a helicopter crash.

January 30 – The World Health Organization (WHO) declares the outbreak of the disease as a Public Health Emergency of International Concern.

January 31 – The United Kingdom and Gibraltar formally withdraw from the European Union at 11PM (GMT), beginning an 11-month transition period.

January 2020 was the hottest January in recorded history according to National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration

February

February 3 – Cruise ship Diamond Princess with 3711 passengers quarantined in Yokohama port, Japan after cases of coronavirus found on board.

February 5 – The US Senate acquits US president Donald Trump on articles of impeachment.

February 8 – 20 people dies in a mall shooting in Thailand.

February 9 – Deaths from the Coronavirus overtake those of Sars (2003) with 813 deaths worldwide.

February 10 – More than 30 bushfires put out by heaviest rainfall for 30 years in New South Wales, Australia, helping end one of the worst bushfire seasons ever, 46 million acres burnt, over 1 billion animals killed, 34 people dead.

February 11 – Snow falls in Baghdad, Iraq, for only the second time in a century.

February 23 – First major coronavirus outbreak in Europe in Italy with 152 cases and three deaths, prompting emergency measures, locking down 10 towns in Lombardy.

February 23 – China’s Supreme Leader Xi Jinping describes the country’s coronavirus outbreak as the China’s largest health emergency since 1949.

February 24 – Former Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein found guilty of rape and a criminal sexual act.

February 29 – Luxembourg becomes the first country in the world to make all public transport in the country (buses, trams, and trains) free to use.

February 29 – A conditional peace agreement is signed between the United States and the Taliban in Doha, Qatar. The U.S. begins gradually withdrawing troops from Afghanistan.

March

March 8 – Italy places 16 million people in quarantine, more than a quarter of its population, in a bid to stop the spread of COVID-19. A day later, the quarantine is expanded to cover the entire country, becoming the first country to apply this measure nationwide.

March 9 – International share prices fall sharply in response to a Russo-Saudi oil price war and the impact of COVID-19. The Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) plunges more than 2,000 points, the largest fall in its history up to that point. Oil prices also plunge by as much as 30% in early trading, the biggest fall since 1991.

March 11 – The World Health Organization declares the COVID-19 outbreak a pandemic with 121,564 cases worldwide and 4,373 deaths.

March 11 – Harvey Weinstein is sentenced to 23 years in prison for a criminal sex act and rape in New York.

March 12 – Global stock markets crash. The Dow Jones Industrial Average goes into free fall, closing at over −2,300 points, the worst losses for the index since 1987.

March 13 – The government of Nepal announces that Mount Everest will be closed to climbers and the public for the rest of the season due to concerns from the COVID-19 pandemic in Asia.

March 14 – Spain goes into lockdown after COVID-19 cases in the country surge.

March 16 – The Dow Jones Industrial Average falls by 2,997, the single largest point drop in history and the second-largest percentage drop ever at 12.93 percent, an even greater crash than Black Monday (1929).

March 17 – European leaders close the EU’s external and Schengen borders for at least 30 days in an effort to curb the COVID-19 pandemic.

March 17 – The island of Luzon, the largest island of the Philippines, is placed under the enhanced community quarantine due to the coronavirus pandemic in the country.

March 18 – The European Broadcasting Union announces that the Eurovision Song Contest 2020 will be cancelled due to COVID-19 in Europe, the first cancellation in the contest’s 64-year history.

March 20 – The worldwide death toll from COVID-19 surpasses 10,000 as the total number of cases reaches a quarter of a million.

March 20 – Smoke from Australian bushfires killed more people than the fires - 417 vs 33 according to new study published in “Medical Journal of Australia.”

March 22 – A prison riot in Colombia, which was sparked by coronavirus fears, left 23 inmates dead and another 83 injured.

March 24 – Indian PM Narendra Modi orders a 21 day lockdown for world’s second most populous country of 1.3 billion people.

March 26 – Global COVID-19 cases reach 500,000, with nearly 23,000 deaths confirmed. American cases exceed all other countries, with 81,578 cases and 1,180 deaths.

March 28 – North Korea launched an unidentified projectile off the coast of Japan. This is the sixth launch in the last month.

March 30 – The price of Brent Crude Oil falls 9% to $23 per barrel, the lowest level since November 2002.

March 30 – The International Olympic Committee and Japan suspend the 2020 Summer Olympics and are rescheduled for July 23 to August 8, 2021.

April

April 2 – The number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 passes 1 million worldwide.

April 5 – British Prime Minister Boris Johnson admitted to hospital suffering from coronavirus COVID-19.

April 7 – Japan declares a state of emergency in response to COVID-19, and finalises a stimulus package worth 108 trillion yen (US$990 billion), equal to 20% of the country’s GDP.

April 10 – The death toll from COVID-19 exceeds 100,000 globally.

April 14 – The International Monetary Fund (IMF) says it expects the world economy to shrink 3%, the worst contraction since the Great Depression of the 1930s.

April 14 – US President Donald Trump freezes funding for the World Health Organization pending a review, for mistakes in handling the coronavirus COVID-19 pandemic and for being “China-centric”, prompting international criticism.

April 15 – The number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 passes 2 million worldwide.

April 16 – 22 million Americans have filed for unemployment in 4 weeks (5.2 million in the last week), wiping out 9 ½ years of job gains.

April 20 – Oil prices reach a record low.

April 25 – The global death toll from COVID-19 exceeds 200,000.

April 27 – The number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 passes 3 million worldwide.

April 28 – US Department of Defense releases three declassified videos of possible UFOs from 2004 and 2015.

April 30 – British Captain Tom Moore, who raised more £30 million for the National Health Service walking in his garden, turns 100 and made an honorary colonel by the Queen.

May

May 5 – The UK death toll from COVID-19 becomes the highest in Europe.

May 6 – Irish organisation repays a 170 year old favor, raising over $2 million (to date) for US Navajo Nation and Hopi Reservation badly affected by coronavirus. In 1840s Choctaw Nation sent $170 to aid Irish potato famine.

May 6 – Hungary has become the first EU member state to lose their democractic status according to the NGO Freedom House.

May 10 – The number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 passes 4 million worldwide.

May 12 – Gunmen storm a maternity hospital and kill 24 people, including two newborn babies, in Dashte Barchi, a majority-Shia neighborhood of Kabul, Afghanistan.

May 13 – Every African country now has cases of coronavirus COVID-19.

May 14 – The UN warns of a global mental health crisis caused by isolation, fear, uncertainty and economic turmoil.

May 16 – 118-year old American department store JC Penney files for bankruptcy.

May 19 – Greenhouse gas emissions dropped 17% worldwide in April 2020 when world was in lockdown, in study published in “Nature Climate Change.”

May 19 – Two dams on Tittabawassee River in central Michigan breached by floodwaters, forcing evacuation of thousands of residents.

May 21 – Cyclone Amphan makes landfall in eastern India and Bangladesh, killing over 100 people and forcing the evacuation of more than 4 million others. It causes over US$13 billion in damage, making it the costliest cyclone ever recorded in the North Indian Ocean.

May 26 – George Floyd, an African-American man dies after he was handcuffed and lying face down on a city street during an arrest, Derek Chauvin, a white Minneapolis police officer kept his knee on Floyd’s neck for 8 minutes and 46 seconds despite he was pleading for breath.

May 26 – Costa Rica becomes the first Central American country to legalise same-sex marriage.

May 26 – Twitter adds warning labels to warn about inaccuracies in US President Donald Trump’s tweets for the first time.

May 26 – After a recording by a bystander about the arrest of George Floyd went viral the four officers who were present were fired. The same day a demonstrations and protests took place in the Minneapolis–Saint Paul area.

May 27 – The Chinese National People’s Congress votes in favour of national security legislation that prevents subversion, terrorism, separatism and foreign interference in Hong Kong.

May 27 – Spain begins 10 days of mourning for victims of COVID-19.

May 28 – The United States Department of Justice released a joint statement with the FBI, saying they had made the investigation into George Floyd’s death “a top priority”.

May 29 – Derek Chauvin was arrested and charged him with third-degree murder and second-degree manslaughter, becoming the first white officer in Minnesota to be charged for the death of a black civilian.

May 30 – The first crewed flight of the Dragon 2 is launched from Cape Canaveral, Florida, the first manned spacecraft to take off from U.S. soil since 2011. The next day the spacecraft successfully reached the International Space Station (ISS).

May 31 – Since May 26 over a 100 city in all 50 states in the US was held supporting those seeking justice for George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter movement, and speaking out against police brutality.

May 31 – The hacktivist group Anonymous released a video after remaining silent for 3 years demanding justice for George Floyd.

May 31 – The number of confirmed cases of COVID-19 passes 6 million worldwide.

More Ancient Than Magic

Summary: The Hogwarts AU ft. big brother Peter, BrOTP3 shenanigans, Dark Lord Thanos, and Head of Griffyndor Professor Stark

AO3 Link

For my wonderful giftee in the irondad secret santa exchange: @iamallyetnotatall I hope you like this!! I tried to use all your prompts and I had a lot of fun writing it! Have a really happy holidays and a wonderful New Year <3 <3  and thank you @irondadsecretsanta for planning this wonderful initiative! <3

-o0o-

“Petey do you copy?” Morgan’s dramatic whisper crackles in Peter’s ear. He brushes his fingers briefly against the enchanted earpiece to adjust it, smiling when he hears her little giggle.

“Yeah, I copy, anyone coming down the hall?”

“Nuh uh. Are you doing okay too?”

Peter takes stock of his situation. He’s currently sticking to the walls of a looping staircase whose steps he knows are one hundred percent booby-trapped. The last time he did this, he had a giant L on his forehead for seven hours and several extremely unnecessary and overly mortifying photos taken of him.

This time, he wouldn’t be defeated by some stupid stairs.

So far, his genius plan is working. So obviously, he deserves to brag about it. Shamelessly. “What’d I tell you M? Easy-peasy lemon squee-” Peter squeaks as he slides down the wall, the sticky charm wearing off as his concentration fluctuates.

“Oh my God, no no.” Peter mutters on his breath, pulling out his wand as quick as he can, “Inhaero!” He whisper shouts and all at once, the sticky quality returns to his hands and feet and he continues the trek up the tower.

“Phew.” Morgan says, “That was close.”

Peter cringes. “Way too close.”

As he nears the top of the stairs he can’t help but grimace as he examines all of the enchantments carved into the lock of the door and tries to remember all the charms he knows have been added- but what should he expect from the Head of Gryffindor house’s private chambers?

Carefully, he walks up the wall onto the ceiling so that his feet stick to the top and he hangs upside down, scrutinizing the lock. “Okay…” he whispers to himself, “M, read me the book again.”

“Kaaaay.” She chirps, “First you have to cast the ill-u-shan charm.”

“Good job Morgan.” Peter praises, “But it’s illusion, with a j kinda sound.”

“That’s weird.” She says immediately, and Peter can just see that familiar Stark look of dismissive confusion.

He snorts, “Yeah, English is weird, but hold on just a sec.”

Peter pulls out his wand, ready to reveal just what exactly was guarding the door. “Incantaeum revelare.” Immediately, the doorknob glows blue and a series of colours burst out like flares.

“What the-?” Peter’s so taken aback by the rainbow of lights that he doesn’t notice when several things happen all at once.

First is Morgan’s squeak of surprise, “Daddy!” and the somewhat distant, “Hey munchkin, what are you-”

A dramatic gasp.

Okay so he’s seen the instruction paper. Alright, alright, Peter’s super screwed alright-

Second, the rainbow light immediately disappears and okay he can deal with that, it’s okay, it’s- but then the stones shift beneath him and an entirely new door made of obsidian bursts through the floor. Okay that’s not good but- oh shit, oh great, suddenly, each of the steps starts shaking, sliding left and right until even the ceiling shakes and-

“Oh no.”

Peter’s charm breaks and he falls right into the ground just as Tony’s voice ricochets off the walls, “Parker!!”

“Oh NOOOOO.” Peter groans, quickly running through the list of every spell he knows and finding it extremely rude that no one had already invented an Oh Shit I’m About To Get In Trouble Can The Ground Just Make Room For Me Within It Ok Thanks Bye spell.

BuT tHat wOuLdn’T bE a uSEfuL sPElL fOr YoUNG WizARDs.

Okay, so he dies then.

Resigned to his fate, Peter sprawls atop the now dormant steps and just waits until the Head of his House finds him.

Tony arrives carrying Morgan on his hip and a dry, yet still vaguely amused expression. “Peter.” He greets.

“Professor.” Peter replies, in that same tone.

Tony looks behind him, cracking a grin, “Well, at least you got past the staircase this time.”

Peter throws himself back on the steps.

Keep reading

Loki Theory

We all saw Loki try to stab Thanos with his left hand, yeah? Well, Loki is right handed. His clone is left handed. Stick with me here. We saw in Dark World that Loki’s clone could be manhandled and thrown around if he wanted it to be. We all watched him get strangled by Thanos. If that was Loki’s clone then Loki wouldn’t have been dead. To reinforce his “death” the ship was blown up and destroyed. So that, surely, would have killed him. Well, no. I think that as Thanos beamed away, Loki might have hitched a ride. He had to go unnoticed so he might have morphed into a rock or something I guess. So Loki escaped death and found some way to evade Thanos. In the end though... I think the snap killed him. He was fine and dandy, trying to find Thor somehow. Then POOF... Then everything will get fixed and he comes back. So yeah

Um... should I be concerned that I got Butter, Chipotle, and fucking Carl????

I can’t tell if I should be concerned that I count Carl as a word or if I should fear Carl?????

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

The equation for that is 0=0

oh so you like math? Name every number

my parents aren’t teaching me life lessons.

#i need some adults to TEACH ME SHIT ABOUT LIFE

I’m crying

the sexual tension between two racists on national television is really extreme in this white house today