“Sir, I Suggest We Leave The Humans Alone. Because They Killed An Elder God. No Sir, Not ‘some Little

Beel: Mc is very angry….

Lucifer: Don't worry, they'll get over it soon.

Beel: How can you be so sure?

Lucifer: *smirk* Because I've enchanted the mayonnaise so they can't open it, they'll ask us for help.

Beel: Ooooh and do you think that-

A sound of glass breaking is heard and they run over there.

Lucifer and Beel: …

Mc: *with the broken glass mayonnaise jar in one hand* …. *staring at them* …

Lucifer: …

Mc: *being a proud bastard almost as much as the avatar of pride* Hum *leaves without saying anything to them*

Beel: I guess we'll have to look for another way…

Lucifer:… Sometimes I forget why they have a pact with me.

.

I spent my money for yall

Toradeen comic pt.1 and pt.2

the spelltine part of the pride comic under cut

like. i need people to understand: in ichi the witch (which you should be reading, if you aren't already) magic is sentient.

it's been around in this sentient form as majiks for at least a thousand years, and in the story's present 402 out of 3185 known majiks are "acquired" by witches:

in the whole world only 402 are with witches. once acquired, they take the form of a jewel:

there are 35 majiks in this panel:

Desscareas single-handedly holds at least 8.72% of all majiks in the entire world.

"Everyone's Favorite Uber-Talented Badass" indeed

Do you think demons crack their joints?

It was a lazy, rainy evening in the Devildom. An oddly calm one. The residents of the House of Lamentation were gathered in the living room, mainly because that's where you were.

Beelzebub and Mammon were snacking and watching Leviathan play his handheld game. Asmodeus was browsing a magazine, Satan was browsing a book, and Lucifer was texting with Barbatos.

Belphegor had been dozing off on your shoulder for a while. It was hard to move under the demon's weight. You had been stuck in the same pose browsing your D.D.D. until he finally shifted, leaning back into the couch. You seized the opportunity to roll your shoulders and take a much needed stretch.

You lifted your arms. It felt great. Crack.

"What was that?" Satan asked, glancing up from his book.

"Beel probably sat on a chip," Mammon said. Levi snorted, too busy to take his eyes off the game but in agreement with Mammon for once.

"It wasn't me." Beelzebub stood up to prove his innocence, revealing no food under him.

"It was me," you said. "Just my back."

"Hon, what?" "Your what?" Asmodeus and Lucifer spoke at the same time, and both gave you a concerned look.

"My back? I just cracked it."

The demons sprung out of their seats like you had just cursed them. Levi's game system fell to the carpet. Since he was already standing, Beelzebub strode over and pulled the back of your shirt up, asking "does it hurt?"

Startled, you pulled the front of your shirt down for modesty. "Woah, hello? Excuse me? Uh, what?"

While everyone gathered to stare at your back, Belphegor was stirred awake. "What's going on?"

He went to lean on your shoulder again, but Mammon swatted him away. "Hey! Can't ya see they're injured?" he growled. Belphegor huffed at him, deciding instead to help hold your shirt up.

"Poor thing!" Asmo cooed. With one hand he grabbed your wrist, and with the other he made a peace sign. "Look at me, how many fingers am I holding up?"

"I'm fine. Everybody just chill." Despite your insistence, the panic had already set in and nobody was listening to you.

Leviathan was shaking. "T-that's not good, right? Humans aren't supposed to make those kind of sounds." He was covering his eyes with his hands squeamishly but peeking through his fingers to stare anyway. "A doctor! Are there any human doctors? Should we call Solomon?"

"Yes, somebody call Solomon," Lucifer commanded. "Where did the crack occur?" He started gently prodding around your spine, making you squirm.

Satan tried to bump Lucifer's hand away from you while placing himself in Lucifer's spot. "Can't you see they don't like that? You're making it worse."

"Deep breaths," Mammon instructed you, breathing deeply in and out. He seemed on the brink of hyperventilation himself.

Lucifer refused to budge, but Satan persisted. He was now also poking you. "The damage isn't visible yet, but there could be internal bleeding. You have to lay down."

Belphegor scooted over to make more room, despite your protest of "I'm not going to move, nothing is wrong."

Asmodeus managed to already get Solomon on the phone. You couldn't hear him over Asmo's worried shrieks but knew he had to be laughing. Solomon was not going to let you forget this incident.

Beel, Lucifer, and Satan moved to try and pick you up but enough was enough. "I said I'm fine!! Everybody stay!"

The seven went crashing to the floor, finally allowing you to cover up. "I am fine! I'm fine! See!" You stood up dramatically and grabbed Asmo's D.D.D. to apologize to a snickering Solomon.

The demons were annoyed and concerned as they tried to pick themselves up. "If you're so fine, then explain that noise," Satan said.

"Humans just do that from time to time."

Physical Human things that freak Demons out

Musings

Humans have more endurance/Stamina and flexibility and general hardiness than either Angels or Demons. Sure Angels and Demons are super fast, super strong and magic, but I think the average human walking could outdistance a demon walking at the same pace. (Humans are pursuit predators after all)

As for hardiness, yeah humans are easy to kill - however, if they don’t die they survive a whole hell of a lot, some of which would actually kill a demon)

IE Humans can survive losing limbs but its basically fatal to demons and angels. Humans can also get their limbs re-attached, but once a Demon or Angel looses a limb, it’s pretty much gone except in the most ideal of circumstances. (Their physiology makes it extremely complex and difficult, magic or otherwise to reattach)

This is mostly going to be about Demon reactions, because I think that Angels have either had enough exposure that they’re chill about it, or they’re able to keep their composure. Luke may be taken aback at first, but after you and Simeon explain that humans can just do that, he thinks it’s cool!

Headcannons for this are the Human introducing Just Dance or something and just winning by default bc no one else can do the moves, even if the MC has limited mobility or strength. Or them doing super mundane things like reaching behind them or twisting their back to look over. I also think Humans have more fluid motion than Angels or Demons bc of the flexibility and also bc we are full of fluid lol. Not necessarily graceful - just fluid. I also think we have a winder range of motion in general, like our joints

This is a continuation of the flexibility thing - Levi may stream occasionally and one time the MC was on the stream (accidentally or invited ect) and they give Levi a thumbs up and the chat and Levi absolutely lose their minds (doubly so for a hitchhikers thumb) because Demons don’t have as wide a range of motion.

MC like twists in their seat to look at Barbatos one day while at the Demon Castle and Diavolo panics inside and almost instinctually casts some healing magic - but MC seems fine? Oh! Interesting, he’d like to learn more.

Satan and MC go on a walk one day and by the end of the walk Satan is astounded at how much stamina humans have. His usual walk (one that tires him out reliably) didn’t have as much of an effect.

This would still happen if the MC needed mobility aids too, and might not happen with walking but would happen with other things. They might be able to work with their hands for longer or something similar.

If the MC is an athlete, I don’t think they would be able to outspeed anybody at all but I do think that them being able to outdistance people is a thing. Like they run with Beel one time and though Beel is way faster, after a few loops or after the route is finished  he’s unable to go any more, but the MC can still run. (I think out of the brothers, Levi and Beel have the most stamina, I also think Levi is the fastest swimmer, and Asmo is the most flexible)

One day Lucifer comes home to MC lying upside -down on the couch, their spine bent backwards, their head close to the ground, and their legs over the back - and he let out the most high pitched shriek MC had ever heard. They were just chilling, stretching a bit, really.

Belphegor loves how flexible MC is and how they’re built. It’s comfy and he can experience cuddles in new ways. Plus it’s fun to see the others freak out when the MC does things, though sometimes he’s…unnerved to say the least.

Asmo delights in watching how MC moves, and not just in a lustful way. He loves to watch you and notice little things about you.

Beel likes to move with you - walking, running, swimming, dancing, even handiwork, he likes to do it with you. Its a way for him to connect with you in a special way, doing physical activity together. (Not just sports and athletics but like, literally anything)

Satan is fascinated by new things, and wants to learn. This means, that he’s fascinated by and wants to learn about you! In any way possible. He thinks the way you move is super fascinating, doubly so because it’s you. He’ll ask you do do certain movements and tricks with your body in order to a) learn more about you (and humans in general, but mostly you) and b) see you move in fun ways. Additionally - this has some potential for the anti-Lucifer League

Levi is honestly in awe of how dexterous you are - even if the mc has limited mobility in their hands, you can still do some things with the buttons on the controller that he just cannot do. (Like, he can do normal videogaming motions, but he can’t do ones humans can that involve stretching their hands out, or curling their fingers to hit some buttons) It fills him with awe, and at first he’s full of envy, but then things change. He’ll watch you playing, and sometimes might ask for help if he’s having trouble with some maneuvers

Mammon straight up uses you as a distraction, but also  it backfires because it distracts him as well. RIP his schemes

Barbatos is thoroughly amused, both in the reactions of others and in the things you do to illicit those reactions,

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

WHO IS USING THIS

AN APP??? THEY HAVE A FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

THE LAST FUNCTIONING WEBSITE

...they're a shepherd. the world-hater majik, they're a shepherd.

the staff, the vaguely sheep/goat-like appearance, the little bell!!

they're a goddamn shepherd!! ichi is a hunter!! hunters go in and compete with the rest of the forest!! death for death!! and what would be the opposite of that? someone who raises their food and unilaterally slaughters it, at no risk to themselves!!

god. this manga just gets better and better chapter in, chapter out

edit: post not canceled but to be updated due to subsequent developments. which is to say, hey, how about that lamb to the slaughter, huh?

edit 2: follow up!!

are you a cat person?

Only in Arthur.

Otherwise I'm an actual human person.

Dionysus and Ariadne by Johannes Schilling

pearlescent beadwoven ribcage harness inspired by the iconic harrowhark nonagesimus! fun fact: this thing weighs something like 3 and a half pounds