Ummm All Of The Yes

Reblogging because fuck tumblr! I have a similar story to this and I have been dming people for a long time about trying to figure things out. I hate that things must end this way.

Please, sex possitivity, talking about it showing it to one another, living it and discovering it is the only that we can grow.

*I wrote this a few days ago, but I’m shy, so…

I’m trying to find the words to describe how I felt when I logged on to tumblr today. It’s so much more than porn to me.

My first tumblr was erotic art. I still follow my favorite blog from that very first tumblr. She talked to me once, and I remember thinking about how that was so cool, I could actually talk to the person who was creating this art.

I started to “like” other things, things I thought I might like to try, things I thought could communicate to my partner what it was I needed. I’ve never been very good at finding porn, so it was amazing to have this tool for communication. I’m the type that will DO the really nasty, dirty thing, but I will never, ever say it out loud. (I’m working on it.)

I started to search for things, anything really. I figured if I found every single type of porn it would somehow give me an idea of whatever this “stuff” was that I was into. Until then I’d been sexually adventurous, with a high sexual drive, but I didn’t really know anything except vanilla sex. I searched everything. One thing led to another and another and I went on this crazy ride of self discovery. I have never fallen more deeply in love with anything in my life, and it changed the course of my dreams.

Sexuality has always fascinated me, but I never realized how much, or how deeply until I started that search. This time it shifted everything for me. My dream has always been to go back to school to become a therapist, but I realized I wanted my focus to be on sexuality. I started learning how to become a sex therapist.

There’s only so much you can actually learn about sexuality here, so I took my research elsewhere. But for MY personal research, for MY sexuality, I stayed here.

I stumbled on this little bubble of tumblrs that all seemed connected somehow, that all posted the kinky type of things I had learned that I was into. (Before tumblr I was terrified to ask my partner to slap me in the face. Terrified.) What I had stumbled into was the BDSM community on tumblr.

I read everything. Absolutely fucking everything. How the hell did these girls know exactly how I felt inside? Maybe they’re just really good writers, maybe I’m just identifying with these emotions because I’m being empathetic maybe, maybe…

I denied being submissive for a while. For as long as I could. Until I just couldn’t anymore. I’m not “just kinky” as much as I wanted to be.

I got a few more tumblrs. I dove a little deeper with each one. Once I even reached out to another member of the community and told her all about my vanilla relationship. She told me I could start over and that it was ok to have these needs. I bought a couple of her books because she was so much like me.

I always thought about writing here. But what was I going to say? I’m a submissive stuck in a vanilla relationship and I can’t leave? There were other submissives who had vanilla partners, but they were with their partners because they loved them. I was just stuck. And it hurt so bad to see everyone have the thing I needed so badly.

Eventually I wrote. I decided to keep a JUNO journal this year. I decided to leave my vanilla relationship. I met my Dom on tumblr. I’m starting my life completely over.

I wouldn’t have known any of this if it weren’t for tumblr.

Obviously there’s more to my story, and this is just a glance at all of the things I’ve gone through in the past 3 years here. But it just has to be said because it’s ending.

Maybe this is good for me. Maybe I need to branch out a little bit instead of staying in this little comfort zone. God knows I spend hours upon hours on this site. But tumblr ending is like a little piece of my life ending. I regret not writing more, not reaching out to the tumblrs, especially the women, who changed my life. So I guess that’s kind of what I’m doing now.

@darkmekare @amysubmits @cherished-property @dwpreturns @instructor144 @fireflyflashes @littlemisssubshine @pleasurewhore (even though those two are gone now) @cynicaldom @female-orgasm-denial @i-could-be-the-walrus @sadisticgames

You all literally helped change my life. Reading your posts made me realize I am submissive, and now I get to live it.

And of course @ombratoire for being the best Dom ever 😘

eat drink sleep play

BEGINNERS GUIDE TO BLUESKY

Hiya! Curious about joining bluesky but intimidated by all the features? Already on bluesky but want to learn more? Then welcome to my quick guide on getting started and navigating bluesky!~

What is Bluesky?

it’s a social media site that’s owned by no single person or company. it's aim is to bring back the early days of twitter before bots, elon musk or algorithms took over. Personally I find the site really cozy, wholesome, and engaging. my Bluesky account for example

What’s unique about Bluesky?

→ CUSTOMIZATION: ‎‎‎‎‎‎‎‎your timeline is very easy to control. There’s tons of options, so be sure to go through each tab in your settings. some options include: turning off autoplay, changing the order in which threaded replies show, changing DM settings, content preferences and lots of visual app settings.

→ MODERATION LISTS: human made, mass blocklists. These are public lists of accounts that when you subscribe to you automatically block or mute everyone in that specific blocklist. A great way to avoid unwanted content, and interactions. ✦ Moderation lists I recommend will be below the cut

→ STARTER PACKS: recommendation lists on who to follow, made by users. You can even curate your own starter pack of recommendations! ✦ Starter pack recommendations will be below the cut

→ FEEDS: public timelines, basically. There are a lot of feeds you can join, or you can even create your own. I made a feed featuring just my pixel art so it doesn’t get cluttered with text posts or other photos in my media tab. ✦ I’ll post feeds I recommend below and link you to a tutorial on how to create your own feed

→ BLOCKING/MUTING: bluesky has a great blocking system. When you block someone they can no longer see, or interact with you. They also have a feature to make your blog inaccessible unless logged in. you can also mute specific people, delete post replies, and even detach your post from a reblog. You can also mute specific words, phrases, tags etc.

→ NSFW: bluesky allows NSFW content, including artwork, porn, lewds etc. They also have a great moderation page to avoid the content completely, censor the content, or show it if you’d wish. ✦ just go to settings > moderation > toggle on NSFW settings and it’ll let you heavily moderate.

→ LABELS: this is a really cool feature on the site, you can subscribe to certain pages that enable a lot of fun/useful labels that help you in different ways! (like pronoun tags, artist tags etc) ✦ Labels to browse will be posted below

→ COMMUNITIES: the vastly diverse communities really feel like the best parts of tumblr. since you can so heavily curate your experience, it can really feel like a calming oasis. Mine is mostly artists, and other creatives.

there’s also a large community of professional artists, art directors, authors, celebrities, and even the best shitposters from twitter. the app really is what you make of it but it’s thriving right now.

RECOMMENDATIONS & LINKS BELOW ⬎

→ MODERATION LISTS:

HATE SPEECH: NAZIS | MAGA | MAGAv2 | MAGAv3 | TRANSPHOBES & HOMOPHOBES | FAR RIGHT | FAR RIGHTv2 | FAR RIGHTv3 | ELON MUSK FANBOYS | ANTI-BLACK | ANTI-VAX

NFT/AI/CRYPTO: MASTERLIST | AI/NFT | AI/NFTv2 | AI FANBOYS | CRYPTO | NFTs

SPAM/SCAMMERS: SPAMBOTS | BOTS | CONTENT SCRAPERS | CONTENT FARMING

✦ to block or mute everyone in the blocklist at once, click subscribe in the top right corner:

→ STARTER PACKS:

ART: PIXEL ART | PIXEL ARTv2 | WOMEN OF PIXEL ART | BADASS DIGITAL ARTISTS | MAGIC THE GATHERING ARTIST | PAINTERS OF BLUESKY | INDIE COMIC CREATORS | LGBTQIA+ COMIC CREATORS

GENERAL: WOMEN OF BSKY | AUTHORS | LGBTQ NEWS

SHITPOSTERS: JUNIPER | JUNIPERv2 | MASTERLIST | SCIENCE SHITPOSTERS

✦ for more niche starter packs, use the search function. search your specific interest and ‘starter pack’ and you’ll find some!

→ FEEDS:

DISCOVER | WHATS TRENDING | MENTIONS | ART | TRENDING ART

THE GRAM: a timeline for exclusively image posts from those you follow. no textposts etc. ONLYPOST: similar to the gram, it shows a timeline of only those you follow. no reposts, just original posts. 📌: a way to bookmark posts. just reply with the pin emoji.

✦ there’s tons of others feeds as well! just use the feed tab and you can browse feeds or search for specific ones.

✦ TUTORIAL ON HOW TO CREATE A CUSTOM FEED FOR YOUR ART/POSTS

→ LABELS:

SKYWATCH: most popular label. Lots of useful labels!

AI Labels: identifies AI users, can also enable hiding the posters.

Pronouns: self explanatory but useful. can add a badge with your pronouns!

✦ you can search for additional label bots on bluesky!

OTHER RECOMMENDATIONS:

✦ EXPIRIENCE ENHANCING TOOLS RECS ✦ CLEARSKY: TRACK BLOCKS AND BLOCKLISTS ✦ SKYFEED: CREATE CUSTOM FEEDS EASILY ✦ use the block function often. do not entertain trolls or hate speech. ✦ as well as starter packs, there’s also lists! lists can be used in the same way to create curated lists of accounts. it’s a good way to keep track of specific genres of posters you’re interested in, and finding new ones! ✦ hashtags: use them! they’re beneficial in boosting your post. you can even link hashtags in your bio making you easier to find. another method of making you more visible is if you post an ‘interest’ post! basically just type things you’re interested in and it’ll help people find you / vice versa ! ✦ update your profile first thing, like bio avi etc. make a small post so people know you're real. interact and engage! the communities there are so welcoming!

I think that covers abt everything i wanted to cover! Hope this was helpful and thanks for reading lol

Sorry I haven’t been posting guys I’m on holiday so here’s a lil something to make up for it

Here they are!

They can also be kinda judge-y though...

where is that cat with the kind and reassuring face

do u ever feel like you’ve accidentally tricked certain people into thinking you are smarter and have more potential than you actually do and do you ever think about how disappointed they’ll be when you inevitably crash and burn

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

My instant reaction when friend says they’re coming over

Health is an Art

A lot of younger people have no idea what aging actually looks and feels like, and the reasons behind it. That ignorance is so dangerous. If you don’t want to “be old,” you aren’t talking about a number of years. I have patients in their late 80s who could still handily beat me in a race—one couple still runs marathons together, in their late 80s—and I lost someone who was in her early 60s to COPD last year. What you want is not youth, it is health.

If you want to still be able to enjoy doing things in your 60s and 70s and 80s and even 90s, what you want to do, right now, is quit smoking, get some activity on a regular basis (a couple of walks a week is WAY better for you than nothing; increasing from 1 hour a day of cardio to 1.5 will buy you very little), and eat some plants. That’s it. No magic to it. No secret weird tricks. Don’t poison yourself, move around so your body doesn’t forget how, and eat plants.

If you have trouble moving around now because of mobility limitations, bad news: you still need to move around, not because it’s immoral not to, but because that’s still the best advice we have. I highly recommend looking up the Sit and Be Fit series; it is freely available and has exercises that can be done in a chair, which are suitable for people with limited mobility or poor balance. POTS sufferers, I’m looking at you.

If you have trouble eating plants because of dietary issues (they cause gas, etc.) or just because they’re bitter (super taster with texture issues here!), bad news. You still want to find a way to get some plants into your body on a regular basis. I know. It sucks. The only way I can do it is restaurants—they can make salads taste like food. I can also tolerate some bagged salads. On bad weeks, the OCD with contamination focus gets so bad I just can’t. However, canned beans always seem “safe,” and they taste a bit like candy, so they’re a good fallback.

If you smoke and you have tried quitting a million times and you’re just not ready to, bad news. You still need to quit. Your body needs you to try and keep trying. Your brain needs it, too. Damaging small blood vessels racks up cumulative damage over time that your body can start trying to reverse as soon as you quit. I know it’s insanely, absurdly addictive. You still need to.

You cannot rules lawyer your way past your body’s basic needs. It needs food, sleep, activity, and the absence of poison. Those are both small things and big asks. You cannot sustain a routine based on punishment, so don’t punish your body. Find ways to include these things that are enjoyable and rewarding instead. Experiment. There is no reason not to experiment—you don’t have to know instantly what’s going to work for you and what won’t, you just need to be willing to try things and make changes when things aren’t working for you.

You will still age. Your body will stop making collagen and elastin. Tissues you can see and tissues you can’t see will both sag. Cushioning tissues under your skin will get thinner. You’ll bruise more easily. Skin will tear more easily. Accumulated sun damage will start to show more and more. Joints will begin to show arthritis. Tendons and ligaments will get weaker and get injured more easily, as will muscles. Bones will lose mass and get easier to break. You’ll get tired more easily.

But you know what makes the difference between being dead, or as good as, in your 60s vs your 90s? Activity, plants, and quitting smoking. And don’t do meth. Saw a 58-year-old guy this week who is going to have a heart attack if he doesn’t quit whatever stimulant he’s on. I pretended to believe it was just the cigarettes, and maybe it is, but meth and cocaine will kill you quicker. Stop poisoning yourself.

Baby steps; take it one step at a time; you don’t need to have everything figured out right now. But you do need to be working on figuring things out.

I want nothing more than for you to love me the way you said you did.