Me When The Chronic Pain Is Chronic And Painful:

okay so there were a ton of posts/fics about the hilarious "fuck/maryy/kill" Bruce Wayne & Justice League scenario (I read them all, amazing comedic timing y'all) but to me, the most hilarious scenario is the JL play fuck/marry/kill, Bruce's name comes up, and half of the people in the room in the know immediately turn bright red and refuse to keep playing and no one will explain why.

Hal: "...and I would fuck Bruce Wayne. No, I would kill him. Nah, actually I'd fuck him, who am I kidding."

Clark: choking on his coffee and rapidly turning an alarming shade of red

Diana: "An....interesting choice, of course."

J'onn: "Shall we play a different game?"

Hal: "Wait, what? that was the game, wasn't it?"

Ollie: "I'm with Hal, I'd fuck the shit out of Bruce. He's the easiest guy I know, it's not like it'll exactly be a hardship for him."

*every single person in the room turns to Batman, standing in the corner*

Clark: "Wow! I think I just heard someone drop an ice cream cone in Guatemala. Batman, I'll need a team up."

Ollie: "For ice cream?"

Diana, standing up and putting herself in between Bruce and Hal: "This sounds dire. I will also assist."

Clark, under his breath, one hand on Bruce's back: "It's not worth it. He's not worth it. Come on. Walk it off."

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I don't know why, but this Hazbin Hotel parody with these specific MHA characters just speaks to me. Bakugou and and Deku dealing with a very drunk Dabi.

...

Bakugou: God, you damn extra, why're ya being such mess?!

Dabi: *clearly going through a weepy drunk phase, or being called a mess hit a little too close to home* I'm the mess? *starts crying blood*

Bakugou: Oh, what the hell?!

Midoriya: Okay, okay, calm down, there there, you're not a mess. Shh, you're okay. *hugging him* Hey. You wanna play with the birdie?

Dabi: *sniffling* ...yeah.

...

Hawks: *suddenly gets his drunk partner dumped on him* What, uh, what happened here?

Bakugou: He's wasted!

Midoriya: Please deal with it.

Hawks: Wha--really?! *resigns himself to letting Dabi pull gleefully at his wings*

...

All this to say, I really want to draw this:

I was on fentanyl the night my mom had her heart attack.

Smoking cigarettes with her on the back porch

while she worried that her chest felt funny.

And I was smoking a cigarette when I called my sister outside of the hospital

after a doctor had told me to “wait outside”

after I asked

if my mother was going to survive.

And I texted my dealer the next morning

asking him if he could throw a little extra my way

because my mom had just almost died

and I needed to almost kill myself to feel better.

And my grandma was home the night I let that stranger shoot me up.

And he told me “if you start to feel like you can’t breathe,

just cough.”

And I was on meth the Christmas that I had COVID

the same way I was when I graduated

alone in a room

quarantined

clutching my pipe

and surrounded by the ghosts of my empty accomplishments.

And I was on meth the morning that my grandmother died.

And I was on meth a week later when my dog died, too.

And I didn’t cry that morning, but my dealer did,

when I told him what I had been through.

Today I’ve been clean for 457 days

and I miss getting high.

But I do have to admit

I missed being able to cry.

Bby ancient hero because I can

this boy has just. barged into my head and is living there rent free. Dink dragged him through a portal and the Chain rescued him. They're now trying desperately to get him home because he is seven years old and needs to get back to his parents, sacred destiny be damned.

Bby Link, meanwhile, is having the grandest adventure of his life. Also Twilight is his favourite (though he likes to snuggle in Wars' scarf too)

Also Wind told him that if he wore a cowboy had he'd be just like Twi. He believed him. But like. He's so cute in it that the prank backfired and Twi nearly died of cute.

....I am starting to suspect this boy will not go away till i write his story.

I really don't like any version of "Jason learns one tiny fact about how people reacted to his death and immediately is crushed by how unfair he was being and forgives everyone!!!"

However there is one version of this I would allow due to it being very funny, not a complete waste of his character potential, and close to providing real evidence of something that would let him give Bruce a pass:

Superman realizes who the Red Hood is and why he's gunning for Batman and decides to try to straighten things out before the end of Under the Red Hood. He flies over to him and explains that he was the one stopping Bruce from killing the Joker. This gets understood as Supes being the reason Batman still can't kill him. Then Jason immediately pivots his entire life to becoming a Superman villain.

Bruce gets a phonecall: "Hi Dad, I forgive you, and I'm gonna need that 100 pounds of kryptonite back right fucking now."

Add another one to the list of hilarious examples of why generative AI doesn't produce correct answers, just statistically likely ones.

(Customers asked for how-to videos, which the company doesn't have. The AI chatbot decided that a million internet users linking to this video after similar requests couldn't be wrong.)

I have a headcanon that whenever Tim has a devious, manic, absolutely bad shit insane plan, he introduced the plan with a laugh, a glint in his eyes and a wide ass smile as he says, "I've got a plan"

Everyone knows what it means, and they know that when it happens, they will have committed a few warcrimes by the end of the day.

They live in fear.

Except Jason, though, he thinks the plans are great. He sees Tim's smile and fucking celebrates because fucking finally he'll alow me to use my rocket-launcher.

*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this

I’m sorry but Katara should have been integral in rebuilding the culture of the Southern Water Tribe. She should have become the chief based on merit, and she should have ensured that their traditions remained alive and well. A leader in her own right, protecting them and teaching girls and boys alike how to fight.

She should have brought Hama back with her and Hama could have received a simple “banishment” as her punishment for locking up the village people - after all she already did a couple of decades as time served - and Hama could have helped educate in the old ways. Katara will never let another water bender be stolen from their lands again.

Katara deserved to be a diplomat and leader and cultural preservationist who communicated with Republic City (council still headed by Sokka) and traveled often, but always came home to the southern water tribe.

She did not deserve to be stuck in a mommy role, remembered as a healer, whose biggest accomplishment was birthing the next airbender. She should have been a mythical figure, the last water bender of the southern tribe who resurrected the avatar and stopped the cycle from being broken, a healer and fighter. She should have been revered.