How Are You Doing?

Why the fuck is he with her so much. It can't be a coincidence that so many times I've seen him he's with her. Are they dating? I'm 75% sure that girl is one of the girls that talked shit abt him, but things can change. He probs wants her, even if she doesn't want him. It makes me want cry, makes me want to carve up her pretty face so he would ignore her, makes me isolate him so he would only think about me, and it makes me want to cut myself to forget.

Thanks for liking my art. This truly means a lot to me. So... yeah... thank youuu. ✨️

You're more than welcome :)

The pieces you make are so cool <3

Me flirting

My life has suddenly become so empty. It was empty before, but I didn't feel it. Now I feel it.

Nothing interests me, i can barely even malasaptive daydream anymore, not even scrolling on media is unappealing most of the time. I do nothing other than binging and fantazising about him and suicide, both things I year for so much but can't have. Both fantazises so unfilling.

Just had my first cognitive psychology test. Now I'll go and buy myself a treat. And by a treat I mean a whip to get myself in order.

I wish I knew what he thought of me. What thought come into his head when he glides his gaze over me? I would even want to know if it's bad, it's better than living in the unknown, I could change if possible and I could use the sadness to cut myself.

If only I could read his mind, better yet control it.

i want someone to be violently obsessed with me. i want my existence to mean the world to someone

I’m at an awkward stage now where my body begs me to rot in bed, but I know better.

Still, I’ve been at that awkward stage for years now, and I know better.

I should shower, I should eat, I should become active, take my vitamins, take care of myself, because I know better.

So why is it that I know better, but don’t do any of that?

The thought of him haunts me. The desire to be near him, to be apart of his little friendgroup clouds my brain without my wish. Most of the time my brain can't help but to imagine my current situation in a world where my desires, or atleast a fraction of them are true.

But im still in my reality and the constant realizations hurt a lot. This is the closest I will probably get to romantic love in my life. A painful and overwhelming desire for someone I haven't talked to.