Klaus: Progress Doesn’t Come From “the Desire To Understand” Like Luther Says. No, It Comes From

Canon SW Language Refs

Sources:

Star Wars: How Not to Get Eaten by Ewoks and Other Galactic Survival Skills (2019)

Star Wars: The Visual Encyclopedia (2017)

Steve Rogers did, in fact, realize that something was off when he saw the outline of the woman’s odd bra (a push-up bra, he would later learn), but being an officer and a gentleman, he said that it was the game that gave the future away.

The Dark Side Of The Soul (Part 1)

Summary: When a bounty hunter is sent to capture Obi-Wan and Anakin, they end up trapped in the dungeons of Jabba The Hutt. The reader guards them as Jabba prepares for them to be eaten by the rancor. When they find they can’t mind trick the young bounty hunter, they are surprised to have her helping them anyways.

Request:  for you celebration (congratz by the way!!) maybe something with star wars? idk what the rest thinks? but I love star wars and would marry like, half of the characters

Requested: Annonymous   (I chose this one because its the only one that didn’t give away spoilers for the plot.

A/N: The pairing will not be stated until it becomes relevant for the story(Because I enjoy secrecy). Also, not set during any movie, but in between them finding Anakin and him going darkside. Also, the name given at the beginning is a fake for the sake of lying to gaining obi-wan’s trust.

This is a sort of prologue/introduction

~~~~~

A simple mission, Jabba had stated. Get in, grab the Jedi, get out. He repeatedly said that his favorite bounty hunter could handle the job, that you could handle it. So now, as you sat in the hall, watching the party carry on, your eyes searched for Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The young padawan was easily spotted hovering over Padme Amidala. A smirk threatened to cross your face at the love-struck look he sent her, but you kept the veil of serenity over it. Instead of mocking the young Jedi, you opted to look for his master, who was no longer in your sight. He had stood over there with them only moments ago, but now had completely vanished

“I would be flattered that you have been staring at me all night, but I doubt there wasn’t an ulterior motive.” The voice startled you, and you allowed yourself to jump in fear. If you had stayed still, suspicion would only grow in the Jedi Master.

“Oh! You scared me! What was that you were saying?” You feigned ignorance, hoping it was a good enough cover. Obi-Wan Kenobi seemed to buy it, a smile gracing his features.

“Nothing, but may I know the name of the woman who has been burning holes in my back all night?” A fake laugh escape your mouth while you internally gagged. He was most definitely trying to hard.

“Farrah Hadima, Master Kenobi. It is a pleasure to meet you. You and your Padawan are quite famous throughout the galaxy.” He nodded, looking to where he was flirting with Padme.

“Yes, and it seems he thinks that is going to impress Queen Amidala.” The Jedi sighed, rolling his eyes.

“You seem annoyed by that fact, though I don’t blame you. Maybe some fresh air will help.” You stated, leaning in close for effect. “I know how suffocating these parties can be, and I find some time away from them to be very relieving.” He seemed to consider your words, a smile threatening to stretch across his face.

“I really shouldn’t leave my post.” He said uncertainly, glancing to his Padawan. You internally rolled your eyes at how easy it would be to convince the Jedi. You faked a sickeningly sweet smile, eyes lighting up with false hope. Inching closer to the Jedi, your eyes sparkling.

“Oh come on, I’m sure your Padawan would be fine without you for a few moments.” He seemed to think, finally nodding at your proposal, making you internally scoff at his weak attempt to say no. It was a pity these were supposed to be great warriors.

You lead him from one of the room to the other, the large opening showing escape from the party. The one thing you didn’t lie about, your hatred for these things. It was a relief when you made it out, the Jedi Master in tow. He seemed blissfully unaware as to what was happening.

“You were right, this is what I needed. Thank you.” You were faced away from him, the smile long gone from your face. You were no longer that fake persona made for the party, but the cold and dangerous bounty hunter. He walked around you, as you grabbed a sedative gun from within your dress. It was loaded, ready to put him and his Padwan to sleep. 

“Who are you really?” He asked, voice no longer faking ignorance. A smile crept to your face. You knew he wasn’t that dumb, but you would still be his temporary downfall. 

In one fluid motion, you spun on him and injected the sedative into his neck. His eyes widened, hand flying to your wrist in a futile attempt to stop you. A real smile was now on your face, the rush of a capture filling you.

“(Y/N) (L/N). Sorry about this by the way, but Jabba has quite a large bounty on your head, and the head of your Padwan.” His eyes rolled back before you could say more, the supposedly powerful Jedi now out cold on the floor. You stashed the gun into the thigh holster under your dress, moving to pick up Obi-Wan Kenobi.

You heaved him up, looking for somewhere to stash him while you went to get the other one. A closet door was conveniently placed a few feet away, just big enough to fit him. You pushed him inside, wincing as he hit the ground with a thud.

“That must’ve hurt…” You closed the door, straightening out the sunset colored dress that hung from your shoulders, hoping to look decent enough to lure the Padawan out. you made your way back to the party, thinking up a plan on the spot. You hoped it would work, but if his master was that dumb, you doubted he would be any smarter. You tried to look like you were in a rush as you entered, making a bee line towards the Jedi. He was still talking to the queen, a bright smile across his face.

“Anakin!” You shouted, still trying to not draw attention. He whirled around at the sound of his name, eyes fixing on you. “Are you Anakin?” You asked. He nodded making you fake a sigh.

“That would be me. Who are you?” You shook your head in dismissal. 

“No time to explain. I was out walking with Obi-wan. He’s in trouble. Some bounty hunters jumped us.” Anakin’s eyes widened, your words making him turn to the queen.

“Stay here your highness, I’ll be right back.” He turned to you, his face serious. “Show me.” You nodded, internally sighing at how despicably easy this was. He was even easier to convince than his master.

You led him out of the main room and down the halls to the hallway where you had dropped his master. Another needle was loaded, gripped tightly in your hand and hidden from sight. Prepared to take on this Jedi if the moment came. You were coming up to the correct hall, and you glanced back at Anakin.

“Just around that corner to the left!” He nodded, rushing ahead of you just like you wanted him to. his feet pounded against the ground echoing in the silent hallway. As he rounded the corner and stopped, he finally realized why he had felt a disturbance in the force.

“Oh maker.” He said as he felt the needle pierce his neck. You smiled as he dropped to the floor, his robes pooling around him like blankets.

“This was disappointingly easy.” You stated, sighing as you went to gather the two Jedi to load into your ship and take to Jabba’s palace. “Painfully, disappointingly easy.”

Carry on

part 1 | 2 | 3

I’ve been deadass laughing for 10 minutes straight hELp

uncanny 

IT IS VERY REAL!! ALWAYS BE AWARE.

Don’t take them off when you immediately see it. Wait until you get to a different destination bc they’re trying to distract you by getting it off then abducting you. Same thing goes if you find something on your windshield, it’s a distraction so they have time to get you.    

The Wailing Woman Part One

Pairing: Diego x Reader

Content/Warnings: Sweet Klaus and a slow burn baby, slow burn

Words: 2355

I’d do anything for this soft boy 💘🔪 If you want to be added onto the tag list for this, let me know ☂️

When Klaus gets a phone call in the middle of the night he doesn’t hesitate to help his friend out. After all, who better to help with the dead than the seance himself?

or

Reader is one of the 43 who roommates with Klaus and gets dragged into helping with the apocalypse. The world is ending, so whats the harm in a slow burn?

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