bluesamurai2000 - Personal Blog for Humor
Personal Blog for Humor

About me Gender: DemiGirl Pronouns: She/They Orientation: Pansexual

190 posts

Latest Posts by bluesamurai2000 - Page 4

1 year ago

okay I’m on this site all the time how the fuck did I just find out about the Portland Polycule Cult?


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1 year ago

Acoustic -> Final Fantasy House

Electric -> Portland House

1 year ago

GOD the portland polycule commune cult posts are just what the doctor ordered!!!

✅ insane and implausible story

✅ has been communicated largely through asks and blog replies so it's hard to follow every detail

✅ aside from the OP the only person verifying the story is an anon claiming to be their roommate/member of their polycule

This is fascinating. This is great. This is like when the Hamilton fan blog told everyone they had hiv and then later they backtracked and deleted their blog. We've been needing a good old fashioned Internet lie to keep us entertained

1 year ago
Wait... That's Not How The Plot Goes--
Wait... That's Not How The Plot Goes--
Wait... That's Not How The Plot Goes--
Wait... That's Not How The Plot Goes--

Wait... That's not how the plot goes--

1 year ago
This Beautiful Little Goth Baby Is The First Child Of The New Faith ^v^

This beautiful little goth baby is the first child of the new faith ^v^

1 year ago

non-exhaustive list of statements that shouldn't be controversial

palestinian civilians do not deserve to die for the actions of hamas & their supporters.

israeli civilians do not deserve to die for the actions of the israeli government & their supporters.

goyim aren't allowed to exploit & claim jewish trauma for brownie points.

non-palestinians aren't allowed to exploit & claim palestinian trauma for brownie points.

there is no excuse for racism.

there is no excuse for islamophobia.

there is no excuse for antisemitism.

1 year ago

Ok yeah you’re a leftist but are you normal about Jews

1 year ago

exactly!

One hundred and one days ago my friends and I were normal teenagers. It was sunny even for an October day, I had just gotten coffee with an old friend, I was scrolling through some silly article I found, speedwalking the way home so I could make it in time to help prepare for the holiday dinner. All of us seniors were warily anticipating the endless weeks until the next break, mentally preparing to study our asses off for the rapidly approaching finals. I was finally working up the nerve to ask this one guy out, I was vaguely planning to see a friend who was home from the army during the week, and I was due to start driving lessons as soon as I called the teacher up.

And then everything changed the next day, just like that.

In these past one hundred days every Jewish person and every Israeli has had their world turned upside down. There is not a SINGLE family left untouched somehow. Cousins, friends, teachers, we all know someone whose life is never going to look the same.

We'e seen the liveliest, wisest, funniest people we know walk around with hollow expressions. We've seen the strongest, most sarcastic and stoic people we know break down in tears midsentence. People we look up to are as broken as we are.

There isn't really anything to say. Our words echo in the silence. People deny us the right to grieve and to defend ourselves, everywhere, not just in Israel.

And we're not the only ones suffering. The people in Gaza are going through an indescribable hell, which their downright evil leaders have brought upon them. It's terrible.

War is heartbreaking.

Be empathetic. Be kind. Give someone a hug. Learn something new. Do something good.


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1 year ago

Not too thrilled that my other post is getting so many notes when I'm not satisfied with it for a multitude of reasons. Let's have a do-over, hopefully much more succinct and to the original point.

When Palestinians, actually basically all Arabs, or all Muslims, say "Jerusalem is holy to us it is the 3rd holiest city in our religion." The White Western Leftist (WWL) will say "That's so valid your religion is so interesting and beautiful Hamas did nothing wrong I love the Houthis!"

But if a Jew ever rebuts "Jerusalem is holy to us as well, it's our holiest city, basically the only one we have," the WWL will probably roll their eyes, scoff, probably say something like "Okay but like why are you still using your outdated Zionist death cult to justify colonialism? You really think the Bible justifies killing millions of Palestinians?" and start going on and on about how Judaism invented everything bad about Christianity.

My hypothesis: These people are not allies to Muslims (Palestinians). They are condescending to them. They are throwing them a bone because they feel bad about how the Muslim world has been treated, well ever since Sykes-Picot, but especially post 9/11, the Patriot Act, The War on Terror, Iraq, Afghanistan, the Drone War, Libya, Nato, The Arab Spring, the list goes on. They don't think Muslims are capable of building the kind of societies they want, not without their gracious help. They don't think Muslims should have the same ideals of democracy and human rights, because they don't expect that from the Brown People. They won't ever hold them to such a standard because "Ugh where do we get off lecturing them?" even though they would never think this of Jews.

These people are not equals to Jews, something something Sartre they think they are both superior and inferior (which makes them superior). They are not just trying to hold their fellow citizens of the world to account. They are trying to put Jews in their place. They are projecting their religious trauma onto Jews because they do not understand Judaism. They see Judaism as Power. They are trying to delegitimize Judaism as a religion (and it is a religion, including the parts of religions that give atheists the "ick," including a lot of mysticism). They are trying to caterwaul about Jews being responsible for the world's ills and that they expect Jewish People to be better than this. To evolve beyond religion and community and affiliation and identity. They want Jewish to be nothing more than a box ticked off on a census. A neat little factoid about yourself, like how your neighbor Cheryl has Norwegian ancestry.

My only conclusion is that these people find Jews and Judaism repulsive, and they find Muslims and Islam primitive. Unlike their parents' generation, they appreciate the primitive. It is noble savagery to them. Unlike their parents' generation, the comparatively cosmopolitan modern secular Western sheen of Jewry (applied to Jews against their will) is not something that we almost lost from the world, but an annoying holdover of what we almost successfully purged from the world.

Because remember, while they hate their parents and everything they stand for, they still deep down want Daddy's approval. So it makes perfect sense why the psyche would displace anger and trauma and all that caused by Christianity, and look elsewhere to place blame. It falls at the feet of Jews and Judaism. Because my culture could never, there has to be a missing puzzle piece that could explain- oh there it is. The Jews did it. And wow look how easily this can slot in with every other antisemitism conspiracy theory.

The audacity to think I could make a shorter version of that post 😂 But basically it's this: The WWL, the Zoomer Left, the Tankies, whatever name you call them... they think that they can "save" Muslims by offering up Jews, and the terrorist fascist fundamentalists like Hamas, Hezbollah, the Houthis, they're on board. They're all in. Normal ass every day Muslims/Palestinians? They just want peace, they just want rights, they just want sovereignty. The WWL is not interested in that perspective.

They have not once in their lives thought of what they could possibly do in terms of reparations. No no, tweeting and marching for a weekend are quite enough. They have not once in their lives turned inward and self reflected on the ways they benefit from and their own role in these systems of supremacy, that have harmed Muslims around the world. Jewish blood is more than enough to pay for operation Iraqi Freedom. Jewish lives are a fetching price to assuage the Westerner's guilt. You know since they have so much trouble turning inward and reflecting on their own contribution to Islamophobia, it might do them good to practice a little תשובה... but I don't know 😌

1 year ago

Am I the only one who thinks replacing Angel Gabby with Ultrakill Gabriel would be fucking hilarious?

considering how intense he is imagine Jonah watching Angel Guardian of Hell, and Gabriel is just screaming the lessons at the top of his lungs. “PUT RAZORBLADES IN YOUR ABUSIVE FUCK OF A FATHERS SHOES, THEN SHOOT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!!!!” Also V1 is Francis. The Best part? Gabriel genuinely tries to comfort the kid, and Jonah still has fond memories of him.


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1 year ago

Am I the only one who thinks replacing Angel Gabby with Ultrakill Gabriel would be fucking hilarious?

considering how intense he is imagine Jonah watching Angel Guardian of Hell, and Gabriel is just screaming the lessons at the top of his lungs. “PUT RAZORBLADES IN YOUR ABUSIVE FUCK OF A FATHERS SHOES, THEN SHOOT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!!!!” Also V1 is Francis. The Best part? Gabriel genuinely tries to comfort the kid, and Jonah still has fond memories of him.


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1 year ago

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

1 year ago
✨this Barbie Wants To Be A Ken!✨

✨this barbie wants to be a ken!✨

1 year ago

I mean your profile is literally Barbie

@actualpunkpercyjackson @adorefavv @ace-and-sleepdeprived @chessbox @desb3ar @daydreaming-en-pointe @darksidescorner @fancylala4 @hoe-bie @i-put-the-wit-in-dimwit @skullghoulz @sp1derw1re @spiderkittens @thecrowandtherose @therealloopylupin2099 @the-cat-and-the-birdie @l0starl @gltzpzy

please reblog for bigger sample size!!


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1 year ago
[Image ID: An Edited Screenshot Of Glinda The Good Witch From The 1939 Wizard Of Oz Film. Her Original

[Image ID: An edited screenshot of Glinda the Good Witch from the 1939 Wizard Of Oz film. Her original dialogue has been changed from “Only bad witches are ugly” to “Only bad feminists are trans-exclusionary & sex-negative”]


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1 year ago

wheres seasons greasons

1 year ago

The reason there are no children in Morrowind

An Argonian Nerevarine is seen talking to a dunmer child who appears to be bandaged. She speaks up with a concerned look as Vakkah-lah says: "That was close. You okay there, kid?"

The dunmer child looks saddened as she averts her eyes and says: "Yes, I am... Thank you miss"

The child deflates as her expression holds a solemn stare, "But... I'm so sorry. You could've gotten hurt because of me..." 

Vakkah-lah instantly exclaimed with surprise as she says: "What? No! Don't apologize! You were in danger! I couldn't just let you die."
The dunmer child looks up at Vakkah-lah as she stutters out: "But... but miss..."

The Nerevarine gives a reassuring smile as she explains to the child, "Listen. It's my job. I'm the good guy! I help whoever I can on the way. So if there's anything you ever need, I'm always happy to help!"

The child looks away once more as she utters: "Well, since you said so, can you do one more thing for me? Please?"

The Nerevarine softens her eyes as she says: "Of course. What is it, little girl?"
The dunmer child stares up with a disturbing expression. Smiling, she tells Vakkah-lah: "Would you come with me? The Sixth House is waiting for you, Lord Nerevar."

Vakkah-lah is seen mortified as she pauses her sentences.
Vakkah-lah kneels down to the dunmer child's level as she widens her eyes with a cautious face. "Child... where are your parents?"

The kid kept smiling as she began to unwrap her bandages from her eye, "The Sixth House is my Family. They took me in when no one wanted me. They gave me a gift. A home. They want you to join us too."

In the next panel, the bandages are seen on the floor below the child's feet.
The child is revealed to have corprus infecting the side of her bandaged face.  She keeps speaking as she says, "After all... The world rejects you. You'll be happier with us. If you join us,  then you won't suffer anymore. House Dagoth accepts you."

Vakkah-lah realizes the situation, getting back up as she mutters, "Corprus... Kid, come on. We really shouldn't be here. Let's just-"

However, she was interrupted by another voice as another child says, "Nerevar? Where are you going?"
The next panel reveals two children. One is an Ash Zombie Child, and another is a severely infected dunmer child with a gaping mouth and rotting skin. "You saved our sister. Why not stay? Father Dagoth would love to thank you for your kindness."

Vakkah-lah covers her mouth in horror as she starts thinking to herself, 'Oh my gods... He's inducting children too. All those missing posters... All those families. Tell me this isn't true.'

A new voice joins them as she turns around with pure fear, hearing the next child speak, "Yes, Lord Nerevar. Stay here with us. Father wants to reunite with you again."
The next panel reveals two more children. One is a Corprus Stalker child, and another is a dunmer child with three glowing red eyes and a sickly grin. "He misses you. He wants you to join us all. What's stopping you?"

Vakkah-lah's eyes widen as she shakes, starting down as the children continue to try to convince her to stay, "Come on Nerevar. Stay here with us. Don't leave us here."
Vakkah-lah wakes up as her eyes shoot awake. She was seen under the covers of the bed as her chin was resting on the pillow. She starts to think for herself as she pokes her head out,

' It was... just a dream... That's the last time I'm reading scary lore books at night...'
In the next panel, the Nerevarine's eyes shoot up in terror as she hears the voices of the dunmer girl she rescued earlier in her dream. She appears to be smiling down at her.

"You're finally awake, Lord Nerevar. We've finally found you"
The next panel reveals a row of children surrounding the Nerevarine in a circle. They all simultaneously speak up, "Come with us. Join the Sixth House."

Vakkah-lah tries to back up as they speak once more,
"You can't run from destiny. Come along now."
The last panel reveals Dagoth Ur behind Vakkah-lah. His mask was off with his face revealed to have three glowing red dots for eyes, as well as huge unhinged teeth. As his jaw opens, tendrils are seen lingering out of his mouth as he goes in, ready to reach for her. The children continue to speak as their last words finish with:

"Father is waiting for you."

I may have wanted to make something for Spooky Month.

I like to imagine that the children of Morrowind are there, but a bunch of them go missing and end up serving the Sixth House in one big dysfunctional family cult.

I'd honestly be terrified too if I had a child that ended up like this too.


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1 year ago

Giving the furries what they want I see..

YALL,,,,

I JUST GOT PINGED IN THE ANNOUNCMENTS CHANNEL IN THE OFFICIAL COTL SERVER...

CW: SEMI NUDITY???

.

.

.

.

.

.

YALL,,,,

WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ONNNNNNN???

YALL,,,,

THE FOLLOWERS IN THE BACK??? HELP???


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1 year ago

Words cannot describe how disappointed I feel.

I Fucking Hate You. I Fucking Hate Everyone Who Thinks Anything Similar To This. And Dont You DARE Try

i fucking hate you. i fucking hate everyone who thinks anything similar to this. and dont you DARE try to tell me they're talking about christian zionists or something because we both know thats not true. im done giving people the benefit of the doubt i hate you i hate all of you you were never our allies you were never our friends you never cared


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1 year ago

"Moonbase Alpha status report..." The Space:1999 Chronology

“Moonbase Alpha status report…” The Space:1999 Chronology

September 13th 1999 was, as Space:1999 itself reminded us during the opening titles of its first season, the date on which the Moon was blown out of the Earth’s orbit along with the 311 men and women of Moonbase Alpha – but over just how long a period of time does the rest of the show take place? With the exception of Breakaway and Dragon’s Domain precise dates were rarely given throughout the…

"Moonbase Alpha Status Report..." The Space:1999 Chronology

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1 year ago
Slay The…. (Coal) Baroness ?

Slay the…. (Coal) Baroness ?

1 year ago

Can we join the sailors in fucking that thing?

One of these days I'm going to add a town in a game somewhere that's all foggy and isolated and people are way too into sea life and there's lots of aquatic themed decorations and someone coyly talks about how there's a shadow over the town, and you can just immediately ask the weird deformed bartender if people are fucking crabs there.

No poking around in basements or spending finding weird little cairns and fish themed altars, just ask them outright if it's a crab fucking situation and stop beating around the bush.


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1 year ago
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To
These Comments Were Left On A Post From An Israeli LGBT Woman Calling People Out On Wishing Death To

these comments were left on a post from an israeli LGBT woman calling people out on wishing death to Israelis


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1 year ago

Love how the tag implies he sucked Myer’s dick.

Happy Pride Fr

Happy Pride fr


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1 year ago
Happy Pride Fr

Happy Pride fr

1 year ago
Happy Pride Fr

Happy Pride fr

1 year ago

I find it so funny when people try to cancel Wendigoon for appropriating native American culture, like... my brother is christ he IS native american

1 year ago

You know, there's nothing to suggest the protagonist of Slay the Princess isn't a lady or non binary. Just because all of the voices in their head are masculine, doesn't mean they are.

1 year ago

Jewish people deserve to live. I know, ground breaking stuff. Apparently so many so called “Leftists” don’t agree with me.

As I promised to update, I'm back from the hospital and I'm okay.

Food was starting to run out (only had enough left for about half a day), I really didn't want to go to the store when it's dangerous to be away from the bomb shelter, but had no choice. Got food, but there's no bottled water to be found anywhere, exactly when Israeli citizens were instructed last night to stock up our bomb shelters with enough dry food and bottled water for at least three days.

The number of confirmed dead is officially at 900 (still not final), the number of wounded is at over 2,600, the number of kidnapped is at least 150. The number of terrorists who breached Israel's border and massacred civilians on Saturday is estimated to be at least 1,500.

I mentioned Mor and her grandmother already, but I felt like hearing her telling their story is important enough to share this vid. Testimonies like this are coming out in incomprehensible numbers.

Since the beginning of this war on Israel on Saturday, five independent terrorist attacks were attempted and stopped. Thankfully, no one was reported to have been murdered, though there are casualties.

In Egypt, a soldier guarding tourists (likely inspired by Hamas' massacre) opened fire at a group from Israel. He murdered two Israelis and their Egyptian local tour guide. At least one more person was also wounded in this terror attack.

There have been rockets fired into Israel from the north by Hezbollah (while Hamas fires thousands of rockets from the south) and there was also a breach of Israel from the north by another terrorist organization named Islamist Jihad. During this, Israel's northern citizens were instructed to lock themselves inside their homes. All of the terrorists who infiltrated Israel from the north were killed, but so was an Israeli commander, Alim Abdallah. He was supposed to finish his army service this coming Sunday. May his memory be a blessing.

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

On a personal note, my former boss' son was killed (may his memory be a blessing. ז"ל), and one of my colleagues has been kidnapped and is held hostage in Gaza.

Another personal story is that of Lior Asulin. He was a talented soccer player. Among other clubs, he played for an Arab team and helped it become Israel's soccer champion. He was murdered at the music festival that he went to in order to celebrate his birthday, and where at least 270 young people were butchered (ז"ל).

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

There's news from other countries about anti-Israeli demonstrations where the massacre of innocent Israelis is celebrated, in Australia the pro-Palestinian demonstrators shouted "Fuck the Jews" as well as "Gas the Jews."

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.
As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

In at least one protest a pro-Israeli demonstrator was beaten up:

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

And already there are antisemitic incidents, where Jewish establishments outside of Israel are being targeted.

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

Countries whose citizens are known to have been kidnapped or murdered by Hamas in the attack on Israel:

As I Promised To Update, I'm Back From The Hospital And I'm Okay.

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)


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1 year ago

Posted @withregram • @adielofisrael “From the (Jordan) river to the (Mediterranean) sea, Palestine will be free (of Jews)”.

This is how you should read it because this is what it means. It is just sugarcoated call for genocide of the Jewish people and ethnic cleansing of Jews from our indigenous homeland. It is not de-colonial, it is the epitome of Arab colonialism and a remnant of the Palestinian Arab collaboration with Nazi Germany under the leadership of Hajj Amin Al Husseini, who coined this phrase.

#israel #palestine #gaza #indigenous

[angrybell: but given what we have seen from the “Free Palestine” crowd, I don’t think that they care the Jewish people will be killed off to make way for their Arab utopia. Its not a bug for them, its a feature.]

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