#FLR #life

6 things that don't make you a bad Dom(me)

Tumblr often shows two sides: fake Dom(me)s and perfect Dom(me)s. The reality is much more nuanced and that perfection is a fallacy. During my early days, I wish someone had told me that and had assured me that the following six things didn’t make me a bad dominant.

1. Having limits It may be obviously, but Dom(me)s’ limits, be they soft, hard or fleeting, are as important and valid as those of a sub. You don’t have to be into everything.

2. Needing practice Some people say you’re born as a Dom(me) or a sub. I don’t necessarily agree with this, but what is undeniable is you’re not born with the full dominant skills set. It’s okay to need time to learn how to give commands, tie a rope, swing a flogger, or even control your own stamina. Learning is part of the joy and it’s okay to be a student in dominance until you die; it’s much better that than being ignorant about your skills set (or lack there of).

3. Requiring equal effort A lot of “bad Dom(me)s” are lazy as all hell, barking commands and then not following through. But there are a lot of equally “bad subs” who don’t put an ounce of effort into the dynamic and are simply looking for someone to tie them up and provide orgasms. If you’re putting your all into a lifestyle, you have the right to expect equal commitment.

4. Not always being “on” We all have libidos that come and go. There’s a sense that a Dom(me) is good to go at any time of the day. It is completely normal to sometimes not feel like sex or not feel particularly dominant.

5. Having a drop Subs often drop after a scene, but so too can Dom(me)s. Dropping is completely normal and it’s okay to need your own kind of aftercare.

6. Not being a Dom(me) Great Dom(me)s aren’t always dominant. Many are switched, having the marvellous gift of enjoying both sides of a power dynamic. Enjoying submission makes you no less of a gifted and devoted dominant.

Tumblr provides a meticulously curated snapshot of people’s lives. Even those particularly legendary dominants started off from nothing and have their weaknesses; they’re brilliant because of their flaws, not despite them.

Don’t believe the myths made by others and measure yourself by your own potential.

Yours,

The Gentleman

Years ago this was for me but over time i have become more and more beta

This is the way. Just make sure to tease them once in a while so things do not go stale.

Break Him Carefully

Halfway there!  A month and a half ago, my amazing, sexy husband agreed to three months of constant tease and denial, without release.  Since then, almost every night, 7 nights a week (and sometimes in the morning, too!), we cuddle snuggle and fondle each other - he makes me cum by going down on me as much as I want, then I slowly edge him intensely, over and over again, to my heart’s content.  Sometimes we’re quick – half an hour and off to sleep. Sometimes we linger – time flies when you’re having fun. {Grin} But the key is that we make time to do it every night, with only a few (very few!) missed nights.  I’ve never slept better in my life…

I adore my precious man.  He trusted his most intimate, primal, involuntary sexual reflex to my care and governance – knowing, full well, that I intended to break him.  I promised to reduce him to a sweaty, leaky, quivering, begging mess of a man.  I warned him that I planned to make it difficult – that I was going to truly challenge him, just to see how much he could handle – to prove, once and for all, that his body could physically endure so much more than his mind ever imagined.

When we started six weeks ago, we had an honest, open conversation about what was about to happen – what we were about to do.  We discussed our limits and set a safe word.  We agreed that if it ever stopped being fun, for either of us, we would stop.  During that conversation, he honestly admitted his doubt about two things:

First, he doubted we would make it this far.  He doubted my commitment to denying him.  His exact words, “There will be a night when things get so hot, you won’t be able to resist making me cum.  I know you.  You won’t make it three months, but it’s fun to try.”  My reply, “Challenge accepted!”  And so far, so good.  Sooo fucking good!  To my husband’s total amazement and slight alarm, I haven’t even ruined him.  Yet…

Second, he doubted I could truly break him.  Break his mind, that is (not his body!  I need that!).  When I promised to send him into the deepest, darkest, most desperate, mind-scrambling frenzy of lust he’s ever experienced, he honestly doubted that such a mindspace existed.  He knows how it feels to be relentlessly edged, teased and denied for days at a time.  He knows the beautiful frustration of being milked and ruined, over and over again.  He’s begged – literally begged – for orgasm before, and heard me say “No.”  He’s been there.  He survived those things without ever truly losing his mind, and he figured this would “just” be more of the same.  Three months of intense fun, but nothing truly new.

And… to be honest… I wondered if he might be right.  His doubt motivated me to find out.  It made me edge him harder.  It made me stop and let go, every time my feminine instinct screamed at me “He’s a man!!  Make him cum!!”  It’s why I insist on playtime every night, no matter what’s happening in our daily lives or how tired I feel.  I wanted to know… to genuinely know… could I break him?  Is it even possible?

Well…

Last night, I’m proud to say, I finally… carefully… definitely broke him!

After six weeks of daily edging, teasing, and denial, we started off “routinely” enough.  We played and cuddled to warm up, then I tied his wrists to the headboard of our bed.  He is hypersensitive and leaking almost constantly now, so I mounted him very slowly and carefully, avoiding any motion that might resemble a thrust.  We kissed, and I took my sweet time, just enjoying the sensation of him throbbing helplessly inside me.  Eventually I got my favorite toy and vibed myself to glorious climax on his captive denied cock.  A perfect start.

I dismounted him and retired to languish at his side in a blissfully relaxed haze, alternately vibing, tickling, and stroking his cock through a string of easy edges. Easy for me, that is… My head resting on his chest, my hair spilling over his body, my leg hooked with his… It was so serene, I almost fell asleep.

I didn’t even notice the time.  I didn’t even notice when an hour slipped by.  And then two hours.  I was in a warm, post-orgasmic serene trance… perfectly comfortable… watching his beautiful, raging cock strain so sweetly in my hands… lost in my own little world of loving him… It was just so easy.  And, as nonsensical and silly as it sounds, I loved him for it.  I loved that he found me so beautiful, so irresistible, so sensual and intoxicating that he couldn’t stop himself from submitting. It made me feel like the most amazing woman in the world.

So I almost didn’t notice when his grunts faded, and the quivers started.  He startled me with a raspy, crackling whisper, “Baby, Please… Pleeease!…”

It was the most earnest plea I’d ever heard in my life.  Something in his tone, beyond the words alone… a moment purely between us, when all facades crumble.  He was breaking.  Finally breaking.  This is how it starts…

I immediately perked up.  I needed to see his face, to confirm it for myself.  Yup… He was gone.  His eyes were open, but there was no mind behind them.  His lips were moving, but only a few airy words slipped out.  A lot of “please” and “fuck” and sometimes my name, over and over again.  My heart swelled with happiness for him.  I didn’t say a word – I didn’t want to interrupt his journey.  I just kept lightly gliding my fingers along his dancing cock… carefully, invisibly guiding him through space… knowing that he needed me… that he could never do this to himself.  Weeks of hard work (for both of us!) was finally paying off…

No way I was going to let this moment end any time soon.  I completely forgot how tired I was, or how late it was.  I kept going… carefully… lightly… soft touches ONLY – because just one firm, hard stroke probably would have ended it.  At one point, when he was sweating, quivering, and babbling, I offered him a chance.  I whispered, “Remember, we have a safe word.”  That’s the only time I “broke character.”  I’m sure he heard me; I’m sure he understood.  He didn’t say anything, though.  He just kept begging, “Please… please…”

He wanted to stay.  So I made him stay.

He wanted to be broken…  So I broke him…

He said it was the BEST night of his life.  I believe it!  

And we have another six weeks to go…

You become best friends and share everything together except he is never allowed in You.

#FLR #cuckzone

Ten Rules for a Successful Mistress

Control the orgasm, and you control the male.

To make any fantasy work, you must build suspense in your submissive.

Stimulation plus frustration equals service and submission.

Every submissive will try to test the limits of your Rule.  Never let him get away with anything.  He needs you to be both firm and consistent.

Physical pain alone cannot satisfy a submissive (a masochist, yes).

The more aroused your submissive is, the more pain he can take.

The more effective your psychological Dominance, the less pain you will need to inflict to control and satisfy your submissive.

All punishment is a balance between intensity and duration.  More intense pain should last less time.  If you want to prolong the punishment, the less intense the stimulation.

Submission increases with time.  As long as you maintain firm control, the longer a session lasts, the more thoroughly submissive your male will become.

Your control and pleasure are inextricably intertwined with the submission and pleasure.

When the collar comes out things are about to get...interesting. We do not have time for a proper collar with all the comings and goings on. A belly chain is easier for us, well, that and the cage around Her cock.

Receiving Her last instructions before She heads out for the day.