Seven Years And Counting. Not That I Have A Choice Mind You.

Once you get a taste.

#FLR #sissyLife

if you are ever feeling down on yourself, reach out. There are people to help. take things slow and build yourself up to this and begin building Her up.

So, He Wears Feminine Things

This is addressed to the wife, partner, girlfriend or other who has just discovered that the man in your life secretly wears feminine lingerie at times. Quite how you discovered this is not important, so much as how you react to it. That in turn will depend on a number of variables including your upbringing, your faith, your education, and your expectations of your relationship.

The revelation is probably a shock and leaves you with a turmoil of feelings and questions. Is he gay? Is he having an affair. Does he not love me?

First, calm down and realize that it is unlikely to be the end of your world or the end of your relationship. Your man cross dresses, expressing a deep seated feminine side of him that you did not know about because he has endeavoured to keep it a secret from you, fearing to damage a relationship he holds as very important to him.

Interestingly, men who cross dress are far more common than one would think. It is not a perversion but an expression of something that is a part of him, something he probably realized as a teen or young man and something that he has likely been ambivalent about ever since, cycling through guilt and grudging acceptance several times over.

There is in fact a wide scale between what our culture has tended to simplify as a binary system of ‘male’ and ‘female’. Your man is a little way along that scale, to all intents and purposes a male and comfortable to be so, but with an added feminine component which our culture provides very little way for him to express. Ironically, women in our modern culture can dress either in frilly feminine clothes or very masculine clothing without comment. The same latitude is not given to men, and should they publicly wear anything that is in the slightest feminine, they are called ‘sissies’, ‘queers’ or other insulting names. Cruelly, our culture has defined ‘men’ in a very narrow and confining way.

Interestingly, our native, indigenous culture has long recognized ‘Two Spirit’ people, further recognizing that such people have value among them as those with an empathy for, respect for and understanding of both primary genders. Such people are respected, not reviled.

Is he having an affair? No, those feminine items are not souvenirs of some sordid affair. He likely bought these things, one by one, on those rare occasions that the opportunity arose. He keeps these things hidden somewhere, fearing your reaction if discovered.

Is he gay? Some cross dressers are, but most are not so inclined. However, cross dressers are often attracted to other men who cross dress, when dressed, though not to men dressed as men. There is a long term for this condition, likely odd to you.

Does he still love you? Yes. Ironically, statistics show that the majority of cross dressers in a steady relationship greatly value their relationship with their partner. This increases

their fear of damaging this relationship. Most cross dressers yearn to be better understood by their partners

The worst thing you can do is to insist your man throw away his stash of feminine clothes and promise never to even think of doing such a thing ever again. He will promise. He values you highly. He will try to keep such a promise. But he will not be able to in the long run. You will simply have driven him further into the depths of the closet.

The better alternative is to accept the situation, recognizing that this is not going to go away and that there is some wisdom in the old adage ‘if you can’t beat them, join them’. The vast majority of cross dressers are ‘sometimes’ dressers, with no wish to live full time as women.

One response could be to accept that your man needs to occasionally express his feminine side, give him specific opportunities to do so, but state that you do not wish to be directly involved. It would likely be a huge relief for him to shed the cloak of secrecy, no longer fearing your unexpected early return home and the trauma of discovery.

Another response is to take an active role. Some partners help their men when shopping for clothes, either in the store or online. Some partners enjoy secretly knowing what their man is wearing under male outer clothes while out visiting with friends or at dinner and a show. Some couples buy matching sets of underwear or nightwear and enjoy wearing them together. Some incorporate cross dressing into their sex life, role playing and enjoying sex while fully or partly dressed. The range of possible responses is wide. Outright rejection is an unwise choice and will inevitably sour or ultimately ruin your relationship.

That your man is less of a man than other men you know is a false supposition. Think of him as more than a man. The current terminology is ill defined and confusing, but think of him as a man who has a female persona beneath the surface, perhaps well hidden but yearning to be expressed.

Yes, there is a risk in opening any door into your relationship. A few cross dressing men ultimately cross a threshold and seek to live full time as women, perhaps entering new relationships with others similarly inclined. A few may even commit to surgical procedures that confirm their new gender identity.

But, this essay addresses the vast majority of men who seek ‘sometimes’ to express a feminine side of themselves that is suppressed by our western culture. They seek to be better understood, not vilified. Please give them space to be who they fully are.

PS Readers, if you can use this letter yourself or know of someone to whom this would be helpful, please feel free to repost or copy.

AmandaJane70

ummm yes

🩷

Why am I on Tumblr?

So.  Someone asked me why I’m doing this.

My husband and I have been married for 10 years or so (we married kind of young).  I have honestly got to say marriage is interesting.  At times its challenging, difficult, painful.  Other times its wonderful and rewarding.

But there is nothing like the non-stop grind of life - work, bills, career, kids, broken cars, credit card problems, bad economic times, non-working appliances, hassles with landlords/insurance companies/cell phone company assholes, yard problems, broken toilets, etc to really grind a marriage down to the point of being a complete hell.

There are days I miss being single and free.

I think the fact is - everything is work.  If you want something, you have to work at it.  If you want something nice, you have to work to make it nice.

Being single and juggling relationships wouldn’t eliminate the problems, it would simply move them to other areas.

Relationships need work.  They are like a new house.  When you first move into it, everything is wonderful and new.  As time goes on, things wear out, and break.  The house gets dirty.  The yard gets overgrown.  If not maintained, things slowly go totally to complete shit.  It can get so bad, that the house can become unlivable to the point where you need to grab what you need to survive, run the fuck out, and burn the place to the ground never looking back.

Doesn’t sound fun.

So.  Relationships need to be cared for and maintained just like a lot of other things.  How?

Relationships have pillars.  Love, trust, partnership, friendship, financial security, personal security, and I am sure a few others.  Oh. And sex.  Sex is a big pillar in a relationship.

These pillars are all important, and much like the pillars in a house, they need to be equally maintained.  If one goes to shit, the others will suffer as well.

So. This blog is a way for me to work on the sex pillar.

I found out a lot about myself these last few years.  I am a sexualist.  I like sex.  Hard pounding, throw me down and fuck the shit out of me sex.

My husband likes that too, but (and I was shocked and horrified to learn this) his tastes are a little… unusual.  He likes something called BDSM.  Women with floggers chaining people to things.  Being ordered about.  Serving powerful women.  Things like that.

I was shocked.  Horrified.  Why?  What?  What the fuck???  What did I do to cause this?  What kind of sick bastard are you?

Turns out it was there long before I arrived.  Turns out it was there with him as long as he can remember. 

My first reaction was “weird”.  “Sick."  "Strange.”

I’m ashamed of that reaction now.    

My second reaction was “How could he be like this?  He is a good person.  Loving and caring.  Sure he has his faults, but he’s no psychopath or dysfunctional sicko.  Is he?  He can’t be. I know him pretty well.”

It took me a while to figure this out, but I’ve learned that all people have sex fantasies.  Some are pretty basic, some are way out there.  The point is - everybody has sex preferences. All humans are like that.  This is all normal. 

Just like people have different tastes for food, clothes, music… they have different tastes for sex.

Some people want to eat the same shit day after day.  I know a coworker who only eats the same kind of frozen fucking lunch EVERY DAY.  Boring to me, she loves it.

I hate red meat.  Makes me ill thinking about eating it.  Yet, tons of beef are eaten all the time.  I have no right to condemn others on their tastes.

So.  Where is this going?  I found out EVERYONE loves certain odd little things when having sex.  If they say they don’t, they are lying.  

Even the most conservative, introverted, reserved, religious, kind hearted person has odd little things that turns them on, makes them horney, makes them orgasm. 

Most people won’t admit this to themselves out of embarrassment or a sense of normality or some shit.  I feel sad and sorry for those people.  Life is meant to be LIVED and enjoyed.

I always just loved being fucked hard, mostly missionary style.  I figured that was normal.  Other things were “weird”.   

I can’t believe how naïve I was.  Just focusing on hard fucking is the same as eating the same meal every day.  It took me a while (and a lot of fear, anxiety, and other metal shit) to realize that there is a WHOLE smorgasbord of delightful sexy things for an appetite. 

And what a ride its turning out to be.  Yummy little appetizers here and there.  Interesting, delightful little playful meals now and then.  Feasts fit for a Queen.

Its made my life better.  Its made our lives together better.  I’m happier, I’m more fulfilled.  I have a shit day at work, a stop and smile because I know I have fun, sex waiting for me later.

And its just starting.  :)  I have a feeling like the best is yet to come.  I was blind, but now I see.

Turns out I like girls more than I realized.  Turns out I LOVE being in charge.  I adore being treated like a Goddess.

So.  This is the dawn of my sex adventure with my hubbie.  I’m sharing it with the world on this blog.  I’m getting ideas from others, and I’m working on making my sex life as amazing as it should be.  (I’m working on the other pillars too.) Stay tuned!

#FLR

here i am

it does make me a better person.  Permanency just makes sense.

Watch FemDom Porn Videos - https://bit.ly/2K4L3ro

My wife was until @tonilipsticklesbian asked me to rivet it shut.

i gave up years ago.

I'll use your chastity as a tool of humiliation, reminding you of your submissive place.

as much as i can. Damn you covid. Let the world open up again!!