I Have No Say And When She Wants Something , She Wants Something.

She has the key, she makes the rules

Anything Mistress...

As long as I keep you from having an orgasm, you’ll agree to do anything I want?

The answer to that question when asked of a man on the edge of orgasm is invariably, Yes. Don’t believe me? Try it sometime! Of course, once he has had an orgasm his entire attitude will, most likely, change. That is, unless it is something he doesn’t mind doing in the first place. For example, many men are willing to drink their own cum, so asking him to do that might not change with an orgasm. But what about sucking another man’s cock? Not many will do that without the proper incentive. In fact, I have found that most women who actually want their partner to do something often ask this question in the wrong way or at the wrong time…

What do I mean by that? Here’s an example of asking the wrong question (or asking in the wrong way); Will you suck another man’s cock if I let you cum? Do you see how that puts his reward before he has completed his part of the bargain? Instead, try putting the question to him as a statement this way; I will let you cum if you first suck another man’s cock. Or, You can have an orgasm as soon as you have sucked another man’s cock. See the difference? If you really want your victim to perform something he would not ordinarily do (perhaps something humiliating) promise him a reward only after he has completed the task, not before. I know that many woman have difficulty learning to talk erotically to their partners during sex. Because of this, they tend to be timid when it comes to psychological torment. You may never want your partner to suck another man’s cock (just for example) but making him think that you will, can be very sexually arousing to him. Obviously, if you are only attacking his psyche with your play, you would want to ask the question differently. Instead of making him perform the task before his reward, you simply want him to agree to complete that task. That is, you want him to say that he will suck another man’s cock (or drink his own cum, or dress like a woman, or whatever the task is) before receiving his reward, especially if you don’t plan on making him actually follow through…

Ladies, please understand the difference. Every man who enjoys being sexually teased (and they all do) has fantasies of things he would love to be forced to do. He also has a list of things that he likes to fantasize about being forced to do but would never really do under any circumstances. Your job, as his tormentor, is to learn what these things are and which are which. Then, and only then, can you really keep your partner on his toes and torment his mind, as well as his body, properly. In answer to all the questions I’ve received on the subject… Yes you can make your guy agree to just about anything as long as you keep him from having that orgasm…

Thanks to Mistress Ivey

Rules and rituals. Establish them early and update as required. Make certain to follow through when they are broken or not up to Your standards.

#FLR

It’s a simple gesture to remind me that she has the final word.

It has only been a few times but yes.

#FLR #cuckLife

Some Tips: Providing aftercare to your Dominant/Top

I’m not complaining even though it might sound like I am. But I can’t go a day on tumblr without seeing at least 3-4 posts dedicated to aftercare represented solely with images and assumptions around submissives being the only ones needing aftercare. 

One of the biggest problems with domdrop is that many dominants themselves go through it without recognizing the signs let alone requiring the care afterwards. Most tops are so used to being strong and in control that a drop may be brushed off as manageable. Yes, it is manageable for some, but not all. 

Aftercare is a mutual act that needs to occur at the same time. Dominants need it as well as Submissives (regardless of gender). 

Some of the things that can be done to ease a top into both recognizing their need for aftercare, as well as provide it to them without them seemingly needed are:

1. Reassurance - Remind them that the scene was good (if it was) and that they made you feel happy, safe and cared for throughout the scene

2. Cuddling/Hugging/Being held - Tops need this as well and it becomes a part of providing the comfort. It’s ok if you remain still during, but I would recommend wrapping your bodies around each other (both of you). 

3. Gentle/Light communication - As tiring as the scene might be, it’s still a good idea to keep a very gentle conversation going. It doesn’t have to even be intelligent. But it should contain talking about feelings. While expressing how you’re feeling, ask the top how they’re feeling as well. Not just about the scene, but physically and emotionally generally.

4. Remember till the day after - In a lot of cases, I’ve noticed that tops tend to have belated responses to a scene. This is what happens to me personally where the adrenaline delays the drop by a few hours and then it hits me like running into a brick wall. The crash includes lithargy, low energy, fatigue, low/depressed mood. If you see any signs, they could be indicative of a domdrop. That’s when they need aftercare. A massage, backrub, showering together, or even space if they need it. But space doesn’t mean leaving them completely alone. Ask them regularly what they want, and keep doing the things that they like you to do for them normally. 

5. Assist with regaining proper mindset and energy - It uses a lot of power, energy (both physical and emotional). At times dominants enter what is known as “performance mode” where they’re becoming increasingly involved in their role to the point of a temporary loss of identity. That’s part of domspace and requires a lot of energy to maintain. Find out how deep into domspace they went and that could indicate if a domdrop is coming. 

6. Remember experiences and signs - This one goes without saying. If you’ve experienced a domdrop then you already know what needs to be done. If you’ve experienced one and didn’t recognize it, then honestly it’s time to really take a few steps towards learning more about it. 

All the best. And be safe. All of you.  

Here are some resources I collected from the internet on this subject:

http://brairthornblog.wordpress.com/2009/12/05/dominant-aftercare-taken-from-a-different-blog/

http://www.submissiveguide.com/2009/11/dominant-recovery/

The more i am caged and kept chaste, the more femme i become.

#FLR #cuckLife #sissyDesire